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@ferdiekins
so in Japanese, we sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
here’s a general gist of the translation:
Rudolph had a shiny nose no one liked him he cried every night then one Christmas it was dark Santa decided Rudolph’s nose was convenient (literally it says convenient) Rudolph was useful.
I SHIT YOU NOT.
That’s basically the song without all of the fluff, though.
*INHALES* THE WONTONS
Italian restaurant owners have developed their own language
1: “Can I have a turkey and cheese sandwich?”
2: “Hey, Frankie, cut the bird’s titties off and make it do a somersault. You want mayo on that?”
1: “Uh…yeah…?”
1: “Make it racist.”
2: “Please don’t…”
WWII Era Vampires
Giving their neighbors their rations claiming that the government fucked up that week because they noticed that they’re going without trying to feed their kids.
Signing up for the draft cuz, “Fuck it. We can’t die by their weapons anyway. I’ll fight for the country I’ve lived in for the past century.”
Vampire nurses who know when the blood’s gone bad or what type of blood you need (because blood typing was fairly new during WWII).
The baby faced forever 18 vampire siting with the older soldiers cuz he’s seen the same shit they’ve seen, even though he can’t tell them. They’re all watching the young “I’m going to be a hero” boys, sadly waiting for the ball to drop.
The vampire that has to explain how he was the only survivor in the ambush and why the enemy is torn to shreds.
The vampire solider, holding his best mate since his childhood begging and crying, “Please, let me do this.” But his mate won’t let him because he’s more afraid of living forever and watching the world move on without him.
Then, 70 years later, they come to the memorial, to commemorate everyone that fought, everyone that fell, and an old man looks at him strangely and says, “You look just like your Grandfather.”
PLEASE THIS IS THE KIND OF VAMPIRE STORY I WANT TO READ *GOSH*
when you find smut
and then:
beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can’t beam up (beam me up inside)
B E AM M E
Save me from the Gorn hunting me down
do you ever think that maybe when you pull out your cell phone ghosts from other eras get real interested and just stare at you as you text people, or watch you use your laptop
or sighs wistfully as you shower like ‘frick I wish we’d had THOSE dang’
gets jealous as you make your coffee, awkwardly tries to figure out your video games when you’ve left the house
turns on your sink and just watches the taps run and drives your water bill through the freakin roof
idk man ghosts
This explains why people living in houses talk about lights flickering/taps turning on and off/etc. curious ghosts
someone write the story dammit
that’s so cute though oh my gosh
the doors opening and closing late at night are the ghost checking to see if anyone is still awake before they start messing around. they don’t realize that this is creepy on its own.
We give Japanese cartoons a hard time for recycling the same episode premises in every show, but if you think about it, not only do North American cartoons do the same thing, our stock episode premises are weird as hell.
Like:
Japanese cartoons have beach episodes.
American cartoons have that episode where the protagonist accidentally creates a whole bunch of duplicates of himself, all of whom later die horribly, with the last one standing giving the protagonist some valuable bit of life advice just before expiring.
Japanese cartoons have tournament episodes.
American cartoons have that episode where the focus character misuses time travel and accidentally erases herself, then goes on a tour of a world where she never existed and discovers that everything is terrible, because apparently her presence was literally the only thing holding back the Apocalypse.
Japanese cartoons have the festival episode.
American cartoons have the episode where someone is shrunk down to microscopic size and inserted into someone else’s body.
Pet: *falls asleep* Me: *lies down in front of them, gets three inches from their face, and stares at them for 30 minutes*
I can’t wait until Chris Evans finds out what Marvel just did to Captain America…
Oh but he already has, and the writer tweeted about it weeks ago. I wonder why he doesn’t look happy?!?! He’s literally “the fuck?” in that picture
oh my god
Alexa Meade: Your body is my canvas
A California artist Alexa Meade is turning people into paintings. She skips the canvas in her artwork. Instead, she physically paints on human subjects - on their clothes, their shoes, their skin, their hair. Then she places them in a real-life setting and photographs it. The result is an image that looks like a painting within a photo. It’s an optical illusion that blurs the lines of where reality ends and art begins.
I like for my work to create this living element. When you look at a photo of one of my installations, you see the painted thing but then you actually see the person coming through it.
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posted by Margaret via & via
And there you have it
100 questions to invade my personal life
1. What's your middle name, and do you like it?
2. are you artistic?
3. Have you had your first kiss?
4. What is your life goal?
5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person?
6. Do you play any sports?
7. What's your worst fear?
8. Who's your biggest inspiration?
9. Do you have any cool talents?
10. are you a morning person?
11. How do you feel about pet names?
12. Do you like to read?
13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.
14. Do you care about your follower count?
15. What's the best dream you've had?
16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?
17. Do you have any pets?
18. Are you religious?
19. Are you a people person?
20. Are you considered popular?
21. What is one of your bad habits?
22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable
23. What would you name your children?
24. Who's your celebrity crush?
25. What's your best subject?
26. Dogs or cats?
27. most used social media besides tumblr?
28. best friends name
29. who does your main family consist of
30. Chocolate or sugar
31. have you ever been on a date?
32. Do you like rollercosters?
33. Can you swim?
34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?
35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder
36. Are your parents together?
37. What's your favourite colour?
38. What country are you from/do you live in?
39. Favourite singer?
40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?
41. Do you like dresses?
42. Favourite song right now?
43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
44. How old were you when you first got your period?
45. Have you ever shot a gun?
46. Have you ever done yoga?
47. Are you a horror girl?
48. Are you good at giving advice?
49. Tell us a story about your childhood.
50. How are you doing today?
51. Were you a cute kid?
52. Can you dance?
53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing?
54. Have you ever dyed your hair?
55. What colour are your eyes?
56. What's your favourite animal?
57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?
58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
59. Do you have good friends?
60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?
61. What's your favourite class?
62. List all the tv shows you are watching.
63. Are you organized?
64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?
67. Which tv character do you relate to most?
68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?
69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?
70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?
71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?
72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?
73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?
75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?
76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?
77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?
79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?
80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence
81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?
82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?
83. How would you spend a billion dollars?
84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?
85. What motivates you to succeed?
86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?
87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?
88. Do you believe in life after death
89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?
90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?
91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?
92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?
93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?
94. What do you think happens after we die?
95. What would you do if you would be invisible?
96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try?
97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?
98. How did your first crush develop?
99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?
100. Do you live or do you just exist?
There was a guy at Coachella in a Deadpool shirt! When I complimented him on it he told me to fuck off… :-)
