pumpkin spice asshole

egg | 30 🥲| queer af | he/they | pisces

[screengifs]

RIP Nigel John Dermot Neill (September 14, 1947 - July 13, 2026) 🕊

Jurassic Park (1993)

[jumese]

i step out onto stage clad in full corpse paint and death metal regalia and start playing the most middle-of-the-road soft rock you've heard since 1974

[jumese]

[deirdreskye]

[hellish-undeath]

i love my fans 💚

(for context anon (blank account) is trying to figure out how to misgender me)

[hellish-undeath]

she's been trying to guess my gender for 3+ hours so now we're talking about eels 💚

[chromaticrainarts]

People do not make Rocky as clingy as he should be

Bonus Human Rocky

[a-star-that-fell]

rocky made of torn paper, glue, and desperation to create something lmao

[inkandguns]

[lillytheaspie]

[abigailspinach]

[clownboybebop]

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[depsidase]

[voltaspistol]

[rockergiirl]

yeah sure whatever

[strongermonster]

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

[strongermonster]

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

[strongermonster]

my artists rendition of the morning in question

[sexhaver]

[beemovieerotica]

[yorkshirearthurdent]

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

[vixscribs]

felt compelled to capture this moment from yesterday

I turn 19 today

[wackom]

[scramratz]

[skygenders]

And he froze the rent only six months into his term.