Fernmoder

I played armored core six and felt weird when they called me a hound and now I'm here minors DNI

[madlluna]

Taylor's Pain tolerance sometimes feels like this

This girl gets thrown around all the time and barely complains

[only-tiktoks]

[devantnuit-ladeluge]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

[delugeofconsciousness]

I was duelling this girl but I misread the vibe so when we got into a bind and got really close to each other I didn't kiss her I just hit her in the face with my pommel and now she's crying and she's got a nosebleed

[innerchildabortionclinic]

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

[juniepuppie]

aborted abortion doctor: yea thats what i woulda did

[five-crows-sharing-a-laptop]

Long day. Time to get high in a D.A.R.E. tank top with no bottoms and tell other women to bark for me.

To recover.

[theaudientvoid]

Shit man, this parahuman war is fucked. just saw a guy slam back a Cauldron vial and say "sample F-one-six-one-one 'Deus'" or some similar shit, and summon an invulnerable naked projection of his dead daughter that proceed to eat a man alive. The camera didn’t even go onto him, that’s how common shit like this is. My ass is out here controlling insects. think I just heard “path to victory" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

AVERAGE BORDERLANDS GUN:

Two-Fer' Throbbing Boomsploder

comically dense design, looks like a cast iron nerf gun. painted magenta and gold

[meme reference that was dated before the games target demographic was even born]

first shot fires seven sticky bombs in an oscillating X pattern, each sticky bomb chains lightning to a nearby enemy before detonating,

completely useless because there's a rifle that shoots normal bullets that scale off of every stat simultaneously

AVERAGE DESTINY GUN:

Smelvin's Adjudication

abstract depiction of a bullpup rifle, magwell appears to be completely detached from the gun itself

"a single word is engraved on the inside of the receiver. "michael-2""

after several rapid headshot kills with another gun while suffering from a void or strand elemental debuff, you gain the ability to aim down sights 25% faster for 5 seconds

oppressively meta to the point that people will try to kill you in real life if you use it in pvp

[peysk]

Playground bullies laughing at me saying you don't even get the quiet sadness of mario galaxy

[cpericardium]

sour meat

[fernreallylikemechs]

This is adult Aiden and Delilah tbh.

[fernreallylikemechs]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR WARD DYING 15.Z

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NUMBER MAN GETS OFF SCREENED BY A CAR BOMB?

The former s9 member???? The fucking SECONDARY BOOGEYMAN OF CAULDRON?

THE GUY WHO MADE A CURRENCY CAUSE HE WAS BORED.

GOT NO DIFFED. BY A CAR BOMB

THE ARGUABLE SECOND STRONGEST IF NOT POSSIBLY TIED FOR STRONGEST THINKER IN VERSE. DIED. TO A FUCJING

CAR

BOMB

[winonaparadise]

the thing is everyone wants both an emotional girlfriend and a sex girlfriend and when you're typecast as the emotional girlfriend you repeatedly get replaced when they find a sex girlfriend and have to suffer a few weeks of feeling like an unlovable piece of shit until they come crawling back to your dms like "so heyyy... she DIDN'T wanna talk about the character complexity of yugioh 5Ds can you believe it"

[yourlastkiss]

and when the sex girlfriend and the emotional girlfriend team up to find someone they both like, life is good

[winonaparadise]

[swagophile]

tried to be the main rival to the beautiful protagonist girl but after i gave my speech and crossed my arms and went Hmph! Like you could ever match my resolve! she looked at me and tilted her head like a dog and said "sorry but do i know you?" and i just had to pretend like i was mistaking her for someone else. i was like really apologetic. she asked if i was mistaking her for a random girl who happens to look vaugely like her and i had to own it and just be like Yup thats totally who i meant and because miss protagonist is just so nice she opted to take me to the girl in question holding my hand and humming pleasantly cus i think she thinks im like autistic or something and then when i got there to the girl i was way too thoroughly humiliated to wanna say anything anymore but protagonist girl was like "mori here has something shed like to say to you!" and this random girl (who i've NEVER spoken to btw) was like "hm? what could mori want with me?" and i was just like "u-um.. yyou're just.. a ppetty wwanna be.. and youll nnever match.. the strength of my resolve.." but i totally mumbled it out like a little kid staring at my shoes and she asked me to speak up and i started crying and she was like "oh so thats how it is? are you asking me out on a date?" and i was like mentally i was like NONONONO because id never ask another girl out on a date for one and ive never even spoken to this girl for two but protagonist girl being the way she is shes all like "awww, young love is the most adorable thing! you should definitely take her out on a date!" so this random girl ive never spoken to (who i'm learning is kind of a rebellious type) is like "heh. okay. lemme take you out on a date then. meet me at the arcade after school, we can catch a movie after too" said leaning back in her chair with a smug grin and obviously im way too stunned and embarassed to speak and protagonist girl is like "aww! lovely idea! arent you excited mori?" and i just kept staring at the ground mumbling and going like "yyeah" because i reallh just wanted the situation to be over and protagonist girl was like "i'm so glad i could bring you two together! ah.. this is refreshing! hey! if you two become a couple you have to hang out with me!!" and random girl was like "you can count on it babe" and then winked at me and honestly it reallt freaked me out anyways im in the movie theatre right now and as im writing this she just put her hand on my thigh while sipping from her soda and i have absolutely no idea what to do or say but im pretty sure she was smirking and i think im fucked. i think its over for me. i dont think theres any coming back for me

[auramgold]

i am going to become remembers the joker is used as a misogynist symbol by rightwingers Skitter

[zarohk]

I’m going to become the daughter of a dockworker and feminist who left a radical movement when they got weird. And then I’m going to rebuild my local community with my queer friends and get unfairly branded a terrorist.

Like how is she not THE leftist Tumblr icon?

[fernreallylikemechs]

I mean I love Taylor she's great but. Holding the mayor's son's life HOSTAGE until he gives into your demands that's. Like the definition of terrorism.

[pomgore]

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

[pomgore]

goat dog

[ewingstan]

tattletale: if I become the evil crime boss I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

tattletale: *doesn't respond since imp's power is activated for the prank she's giggling about. and also even if she knew aisha was there lisa doesn't have great upper body strength, the "throwable" modifier is really only accurate for vicky or rachel or brian. Maybe lily, she probably does core work.*

[dryococelas01]

Scion spoke for the second time.

Four words, barely audible.

"You Needed Worthier Friends"

Eidolon let his hand drop to his side.

He turned the sounds around in his head, trying to convince himself of a different configuration, convince himself he had heard wrong.

But he hadn’t. It dawned on Eidolon. He has Contessa’s power.

How many years did it cost Scion to use it?

Not enough, he was convinced. Scion had defeated him.

Scion raised a hand and smiled, and Eidolon didn’t move. Glaistig Uaine was fleeing.

Eidolon took the ice cream cone.

Rebecca and Keith have been kinda neglectful huh. I was clearly struggling and they never talked to me about it.

5 hours later, Eidolon and Scion were on their tenth playthrough of Barbie and The Three Musketeers

Who gives a shit about the UK anyway