Random Mumblings of a psychotic fangirl

Obviously a Transformers fan with tendencies towards the Decepticons with the exception of Ratchet. I make jewelry, primarily chainmaille. Currently I know twenty-four different weaves and make a point of learning new ones as time permits. I also work with semi-precious gemstones, Swarovski crystal and glass I find interesting. I keep ferrets. my current business is at eight. I'm also an Anime fan, especially fond of Soul Eater and odd little things like Ushio and Tora, Escaflowne, and Last Exile. The ink of scholars is worth more than the blood of martyrs.

[niuniente]

I AM ALIVE! Despite all the medication for the anxiety so far trying to coax me to kill myself :'))) It's been horrible! When I realized I had been thinking about the best possible way to kill myself so that it doesn't cause any trouble to others (like how to protect apartment floors from blood and decomposition of a body), I quit the meds.

I have never been suicidal and have never been harming myself so I knew it was the medicine talking, as it's a quite common side effect.

My doctor is nice and has given me a permission to adjust my medication intake as I see fit and immediately stop if I get bad side effects. I have a new appointment next month where I will tell how it's going (bad) and I think we'll try new medication.

As both of my siblings are autistic with ADHD, and had the same issues with anxiety and depression medication, I think this happening also to me is a quite big arrow pointing towards the possibility of me being autistic with ADHD, too.

Withdrawal from the meds is a struggle of its own but I mentally feel so much better without them. I rather live with constant babbling in the back of my head, anxiety, social issues etc. without the meds than take medication which makes me like a zombie who actively plots her own demise (which is not who I am, and no, I don't plan to take my own life).

It's also telling that I started an online therapy for anxiety and after hearing my reasons for this therapy, the therapist immediately said: "Listen, this isn't for you so you can quit any time you want or decide not to go through this therapy at all. Have you considered an ADHD test instead?"

I plan to go through the therapy so doctors get some evidence that nope, this isn't just regular anxiety but something else.

[niuniente]

Thank you for your kind well wishes! I'm OK and all suicidal thoughts did indeed left after I stopped my medication.

I wanted to say that anxiety and depression medication(s) do not normally cause a person to become suicidal. There's a note on the list of all side effects stating that IF the patient is on the medication because they ALREADY HAVE suicidal thoughts or urges, THEN these thoughts or urges can become stronger at the beginning of these medications. They usually make patient's symptoms worse for a little while until the brain gets used to these new chemicals, which is normal.

I don't want anyone out there to skip medication they need because they have not worked on me. Give them a try, if you need to.

My cause is likely due to wonky neurological wiring, and normal brain will not start to plan your demise with these medications if they are taken for anxiety or depression without suicidal thoughts.

For anyone out there suffering of suicidal thoughts, I'm so sorry. I have only tipped my toes in that pool for a few months (and I had an easy way out, too). I can't imagine how devastating and tiring it must be to live with such thoughts for years on a daily basis.

[liberalsarecool]

MAGA are too unserious to figure out any of this. They will hear 'Soros' or 'Obama cell phone' and their limited minds are wiped.

[makingdonalddrumpfagain]

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

Because Republicans wrote the tax code for their billionaire masters.

[liberalsarecool]

Invasion of Iran and all its negative consequences are a result of Netanyahu dogwalking Trump and Kushner in war.

Israel has the Epstein blackmail. Nepo Kushner is a traitor with any country who pays.

[babyfoxcollectionthings]

[zitasaurusrex]

unrestrained summer fun

[danikriatura]

The FBI cut the phone lines during the 1977 disability rights sit-in. Then they turned off the hot water.

They locked the doors from the outside. One hundred and fifty people were trapped on the fourth floor. Half of them used wheelchairs. The government assumed they would leave.

Kitty Cone was thirty-three. She had muscular dystrophy. Her muscles were failing, but her logistics were flawless. She knew how to organize people.

The federal government had promised to sign regulations protecting disabled Americans from discrimination. The policy was known as Section 504. They printed the promise on paper. Then they stalled. Without a signature, it was just typography.

The protesters entered the regional Health, Education, and Welfare building in San Francisco on a Tuesday morning. They took the elevators to the director's office. They brought sleeping bags and catheters. They informed the staff they were not leaving until the law was signed.

By sunset, the police surrounded the exits. Kitty sat near the windows. She organized the floor plan. She assigned committees for security and sanitation. She kept her medication in a small cooler.

According to federal memorandums released decades later, the strategy to end the occupation relied on medical attrition. The building was not equipped for long-term habitation. The FBI calculated that a population requiring ventilators, specialized diets, and daily medical aides would voluntarily evacuate if the environment became sufficiently hostile. They instituted a blockade.

The blockade went into effect immediately. No food deliveries allowed. No medical supplies permitted through the lobby. Guards stood at the main doors checking identification.

Kitty's muscles deteriorated faster under the physical strain. She couldn't walk. When the phone lines went dead, the fourth floor lost contact with the press. The government waited for the quiet.

Kitty dropped to the floor. She realized the barricades were designed for standing adults. The police had blocked the hallways at waist height. They hadn't blocked the linoleum.

The floors were covered in cigarette ash and spilled coffee. She dragged her body through it. She crawled under the barricades to reach the restricted elevator shafts and unguarded offices.

She carried notes in her pockets. She found a single working payphone the FBI missed. She called the local news desks. She called the mayor's office.

She crawled back. When her arms failed, someone pulled her by her ankles. The Black Panthers heard the news reports. They crossed the police lines with hot meals. The FBI could not stop them without a riot.

They shut off the elevators, so she crawled.

The occupation lasted twenty-five days. It remains the longest non-violent occupation of a federal building in American history. On April 28, the Secretary of HEW signed the regulations without a single alteration.

The protesters left the building the next morning. They went back to their apartments. The Rehabilitation Act regulations laid the groundwork for every accessibility law that followed. The HEW building still stands on United Nations Plaza. The elevators run on a schedule. The doors are heavy glass.

Kitty Cone: the woman who crawled under the barricades.

Source: Kitty Cone's oral history, Bancroft Library.

Verified via: National Museum of American History.

(Some details summarized for brevity.)

[liberalsarecool]

Republican rape culture and pedophile enabling has consequences.

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

Zero days without being an international embarrassment.

🍊🤡

[liberalsarecool]

Solid start.

[liberalsarecool]

You are a leach. Main St America was destroyed by Amazon. Competitors were systematically crushed. You bought the Washington Post and destroyed it for better billionaire PR.

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[liberalsarecool]

They embrace white supremacy.

Trump incompetence and corruption are an extention of white supremacy. MAGA may try to deny it, but they are the worst at judging their own racism.

[republicansexscandals]

GOP PEDO RING

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

[liberalsarecool]

'Under babied' is a dystopian term. It removes men from responsibility and commitment. It sounds very sterile and detached. Dr. Oz sounds loveless.

Republican men see women as white baby-making machines. They want mothers to be on the verge of destitution. They envision desperate mothers as more controllable. These misogynist men are given way too much influence in conservative politics.