[ffshoult]

hqlilyc​:

Naturally, as soon as the salons closed I put in place my plan to become a bearded lady, it’s going well so far. Any such invitation would be gladly accepted, and who knows, maybe you’ll finally be the people to kill off my inner grinch for once and for all. I’ll do an action movie with you on the condition that I get to be the badass and you’re my damsel in distress. Agree to that and you’ve got yourself a deal. Honestly at the rate we’re going all of the stories I’ll be telling my grandkids will involve crazy shit we’ve managed to get up to, you’re a bad influence! As if your image needs me around to improve it. But hey, I’m feeling charitable, I’ll let you have the rumour if it’ll help you feel cool around your friends. You can thank me later. Do you often offer out your services as a teacher of the languages of Tolkien? I promise I won’t tell anyone you took your student drinking, it can be our secret.

If it gets impressive enough will you consider a career change and run away to join the circus? And I’m feeling pretty confident about that, not so much me, but if you can manage to not feel something when the little dude grabs your hand to run towards some reindeer together then you’re stonier than I thought you were. I’m down for that - it’s 2020, it’s about time the lead male realistically gets himself into situations that the female protagonist has to get him out of. That’s usually the way round it is in real life anyway, men aren’t the heroes. Bad influence?! I’d say that’s a good influence, just think how cool your grandkids would think you are after these stories. Definitely wouldn’t hurt it, that’s for sure, but that does mean you’d need to agree to at least one pub night out with the boys back home. This is the first time it’s coming in handy, I’ll admit, it’s a less impressive skill than you might think, but as long as you appreciate it then it’s not all going to waste, right? And that sounds like a good idea, I’m not sure how appropriate the whole ‘teacher/student getting drunk together’ thing is, so we’ll keep it to ourselves.

[ffshoult]

itsgeorgemackay​:

I’d say there’s a solid 30 hairs there now. Well, I’m told humility is a good quality to possess.

How much would you hate me if I came along with a razor and undid all those months worth of progress in five seconds? It certainly is, you got the looks and the humility. 

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer​:

There’s a huge difference. Huge. I’m not even going to spell it out for you, but know that I have this blanket now so that it’s very apparent to all the guys and girls I’m not sleeping with what kind of blanket stealing process I’m undertaking. Mmm, Saint of what, though? There were some messed up saints. I think. I mostly slept through those classes.

See, you made it easy for all the newcomers, but I was just supposed to work it out un-aided? Favouritism. Saint Nicholas, of course. Otherwise widely known as...Santa Claus. Nobody’s got a bad word to say about him. 

[ffshoult]

hqkathryn​:

You’re actually going to let the little man run wild like we did? We were such trouble makers! Even when you tried to talk some sense into us we still dragged you along! Maybe I wouldn’t. But as a boujee american I’ll plead— what is it, the fifth? That’s what people say right? I plead the fifth. But think about how much of a triple threat you’d be with that face, that personality and excellent fashion sense? Wow you’ll almost be like my own personal Ken doll. I can’t wait! When are you flying in? I’ll pick you up at the airport. You should be proud, I’m renting a car for your visit so that you don’t have to sit in the basket of my bike to drive around the city. You’re welcome!

You know, I’m hoping I’m not going to grow into a hypocritical father when he starts going out, as long as he’s being safe and respectful of other people I want him to be able to go through the normal teenage experiences and have fun, I’m just going to make sure I educate him enough beforehand and...yeah, maybe tutor him using my own mistakes, because we were on another level. That’s right, you’ve been living here for too long already. I’m clearly already doing something right with my track record, like you said, so why make the extra effort? My flight gets in at 11, and I’m honoured at the effort you’re going to. Does that mean we can go through some...New York bagel drive thru on the way to yours? Because I’m starving. 

[ffshoult]

itsgeorgemackay​:

What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time?! No, I don’t know if I am. I suppose I’ve got some solid cheekbones, but that’s about it.

And how’s the progress now? How many single hairs have you managed to grow? You’re the epitome of humble. 

[ffshoult]

itsgenevievegnt​:

See, that’s a good way to look at it. Oh, I see. That’s why I’m thankful John is still so young. So he doesn’t feel or notice much of a change. How old is your son? 

He’s three now, so while he’s not been pulled out of any school he still constantly asks to be taken to the park or to some of his favourite places, which is hard to explain and say no to. What about John? How old is he?

[ffshoult]

jackxoconnellx​:

I thank you for your kind words, truly, but I think you, Dev, and Daniel are by far and away the biggest names that came out of “Skins” and it shows. Oh and I forget her name but the actress that played Effy? Apparently she’s doing pretty good for herself as well. I’ve seen some stuff on youtube he is definitely a fantastic host I don’t know how well I’d do with the whole spill your guts, fill your guts segment though.  

Quality not quantity mate, and ‘Unbroken’ was a bloody masterpiece. I do feel like a proud trophy mum whenever I see any of our alumni succeeding in whatever it is that they set out to do, not even just those that have stayed in acting. That one’s particularly brutal, and now I feel like I need to see you on it. I’d personally love to do Drop The Mic - to be roasted on such a high scale would be an honour. 

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer​:

Cocoon? Cocoon?! I was obviously burrito-ing and I’m heartbroken that over those years the message never got across. That’s almost a compliment, though, I’ll take being unique over just about anything. Well, and not being in debt. That’s fun, too. 

Is there a vital difference between the two that I never picked up on, or is it just the fact you American’s are way bigger on your burritos than we are? It was intended as a compliment, believe it or not. See, I can be a nice guy sometimes too. Or, all the time. I’m a bloody saint. 

[ffshoult]

hqkathryn​:

Not unless you sleep next to beer bottles while I’m having a smoke. It’s really not flattering for any of us. He’ll definitely have questions and start realizing Dad was a party animal when he was a teenager. I should have played that bit out and milked it for everything it’s worth. Ah sister zoned huh? Gotcha. You’re a mess, Nick. You dated models for crying out loud, you should be better than this. Just bring some closed toes shoes that aren’t runners, okay? I’ll give you a once over before we go for drinks and decide whether it’s acceptable for the New York crowd. 

Oh man, sounds right on brand for any of our nights out, I’m not mad that that photo slipped through the cracks, though I wouldn’t be opposed to him having his own dosage of fun when he’s old enough. Sister zoned? You almost sound like you wouldn’t be opposed to being in any other zones, Kat. I like to think my ability to date models speaks volumes about my personality if it overrides my questionable fashion choices. Sure, I got it. I’ll pack a few options and you can design your NY Nick. 

[ffshoult]

alxdaddarios​:

I mean food absolutely helps. Plus you just have to be super chill and laid back and able to handle our craziness. Well the books were still published by Disney so it wasn’t any third party trying to bank on the success just Disney making more money off its own property.

I feel like I’m probably chill enough to counteract anyone’s craziness and I always like to have food on me, so sounds like light work. As if Disney doesn’t already have one of the highest revenues of any media company in the world. 

[ffshoult]

hqlilyc​:

Just this once, because I’m feeling nice, I’ll believe that you’ve finally managed to grow some adult facial hair. Sorry to disappoint, I hope you don’t think any less of me for it. I don’t doubt that if I ever have a kid some of the magic will return, but for now it’s just me, my dog, and a fridge full of vino every December 25th. I bet you love it more than him, you just have to pretend to play it cool around Santa so people don’t think you’re mad. Clearly that’s the only solution, lucky for you I’d gladly be your leading lady any day - just got to find some poor director who is willing to put up with us both now. I’m sure they’d give me a free pass, I’ll just bat my eyelashes at them and all will be well. Unless we both end up being interrogated, then really neither of us win, and we’ve just inconvenienced ourselves. I think it does, what happened to us? We should be careful, if we start being too nice to one another the press will decide we’re dating, and I really don’t have the energy for another speculative tabloid relationship right now.  Two to three weeks? There’s me thinking you’d already got it all figured out ready to teach me all you know. I’m a little disappointed, I must admit. I’ll take a drink by way of an apology for the inconvenience of having to wait, thanks. 

Thank you, and I’ll show you the same kindness by believing you have your own quarantine beard going on, too. Not at all, but I do feel a necessary obligation to invite you to do something with the lil dude and I this christmas so you can get a taste of the magic returning - then we can both pretend our excitement is all for his sake, because you’re absolutely right, that’s definitely what I do. I vote we make it an action/thriller movie next, I’m feeling that right now. Inconvenienced ourselves, but racked up a great story to tell the grandkids. And that might be a burden of a rumor for you, but honestly it’d be great for my image - all my friends at home would be like “Nicholas has bagged himself another woman out of his league again” and I’ll be viewed as a legend. Not mad about it. Hey, I’m just trying to make sure I’m the best possible teacher I can be, and that generally doesn’t involve drinking with your students, but in this special case, I’ll agree. 

[ffshoult]

nniall​:

There’s nothing in this world that is gonna keep this from at least occasionally coming across my mind. possibly on a weekly basis now to no one’s shock since it was that horrible. Your group didn’t prepare me at all for such a thing, not even with happens to Chris.. Mate, why.. I was peacefully not connecting such dots, and now the pain is worse!

If I ever see a live performance of yours where you suddenly go silent and stare into the camera like you’re on That’s So Raven I’ll know exactly what’s going through your mind, and I’ll throw up a sign of solidarity for you. The Chris thing got me slightly more, because he didn’t get to wrap up the season with us, but I’m sure the second gen felt the exact same way without Luke. 

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer‌:

I guess that’s karma for… something. I mean, I could have, I could be a total asshole and lay down the Lawrence law, but… like I said, i’m a good person. You thought so, too, at least at one point in our history! You didn’t always want to see me in debt.

Karma for the jumpers, and for always cocooning yourself in the duvet. I don’t want to see you in debt now either, and lucky for both of us I don’t think that’ll ever happen. You’re like...someone’s good and bad conscience all wrapped up in one, and it’s a good thing. You do things the way only you can do. 

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer‌:

Aw, really? I haven’t looked at my bank accounts in years, I just assumed I was crazy rich. Is this why those red letters keep coming in the mail? I just thought they were spam. I would never imply you were any kind of disappointment, don’t throw me under the bus here. I’m a good person. 

Nope, I’m crazy rich, you’re crazy in debt. Aw, isn’t that kind of heart warming? I thought you would’ve seen your opportunity and ran with it, now I’m the dick for making assumptions.

[ffshoult]

zoeyffs‌:

That’s true, but it doesn’t feel as special as the biggest dick on the moon. That’s an accomplishment. Oh really? So, you’ve compared yourself to every guy in the world? I feel like you can’t really know unless you do. Do you live in fear that one day another will usurp your throne? I’ve been good. I mean, I saw a person in a Minion costume today. How’ve you been?

You’re cracked, biggest dick on earth is far superior - you’re beating out so many more dicks. Maybe I have, you don’t know what I do in my spare time, Zoey. You don’t know what business I have in the carpark behind Wendy’s. That’s why I do it there, you know - conveniently large bins to dump the bodies of my competitors. I...saw a person as small as a minion today? Course, he’s my own flesh and blood and not yellow so...you win?

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer‌:

Ooh, oof. Painful. Except I can live on those THG and X-Men royalties until the day I die. Honestly, it’s the redeeming factor of your sweater-hoarding existence. You should be proud of that middle name. Maybe switch it up and use it as your stage name.

Yikes, you haven’t noticed that I drained your accounts when I had access to them yet? Thing is, I don’t want people to expect a Welsh person then be bitterly disappointed when I show up instead. I’m not used to being a disappointment - and don’t even say it.

[ffshoult]

hqjennifer‌:

I would have thought twenty bucks was big money in your career. You’re an asshole, Nicholas Caradoc Hoult.

Bold of you to talk about careers when I saw yours on a missing persons ad the other day. And wait a minute, you had the nerve to break out the Caradoc and call me the asshole?