I have met with a gambling story which is worth transcribing. The Spaniards are very fond of a game called Monte which is played thus: - Some person, who acts as banker, lays down two cards taken at hazard from the pack, say a knave and an eight, and any number of persons may stake on either of these. The banker then turns up the pack, and takes the cards one by one from the bottom, the first card that appears similar to either of the two, the knave or the eight, causes the corresponding card laid down to win, and the other to lose.
A young fellow in Cadiz was acting as banker, and had laid down a king and a ten; but before the staking was completed he was seized with a violent fit of sneezing, during which he dropped his handkerchief, and in stooping to pick it up he allowed the bottom card, a king, to be seen. When he had recovered himself, he found the stakes much larger than before, and all placed on the king. He expressed some surprise, and asked for explanation, but nobody gave it; he proceeded with the game, when the first card shown proved to be a ten. He swept up the stakes, made a low bow and retired; and although, when the players recovered from their shock, deadly vengeance was vowed against him, the story does not say that it was ever carried into execution.
Might try and kill the shame and tidy up some of my older fragments for posting.
The trouble with having periods where the only way you can write is in excited horny bursts is you end up with a lot of half or almost finished pieces you enjoyed writing too much to delete, but... well, in sobriety, so to speak, they're a touch embarrassing to put your name to.
But as I say. I'm going to try and kill the shame. It's not like I don't love reading other people's embarrassingly horny stuff, right?
A compact piece of pure horn at least partially inspired by this post by @sf-libet (if you want to be un-tagged lmk)
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She couldn’t help watching his nose. It was so red now, so obviously sensitive, those constantly-leaking nostrils waiting for the slightest excuse. He dabbed it gently- so, so carefully- with a handkerchief, breathing slowly as he tried to eke out another minute of concentration on his correspondence. The right nostril flexed just a little at the touch, but made no trouble. That couldn’t last, surely. The skin around the edge of both nostrils was so raw, so susceptible to irritation from the smallest cause.
As she watched, he turned over a page and sniffed, momentarily absent-minded and unwise. She saw his nose react at once, the oval rims of both nostrils curling up into high arches, triggering a wrinkling of the bridge, a flinch around his eyes. Up came the handkerchief with urgent speed, pressing itself up against the septum in a manoeuvre that had probably seen some success in the early days of this cold. His nostrils twitched a warning.
Unable to delay his breath any longer, he attempted a slow inhale by mouth that audibly warped, his jaw falling slack against its owners will. That poor red nose quivered with over-readiness to sneeze. He covered it at last with the handkerchief, finally understanding that he was past the point of all resistance.
He sneezed, hard and wet and unforgiving. Sneezed again, that red-raw nose stung into further action by the violent unsettling of its fragile equilibrium. He raised his head and tried to breathe, his too-abused nose throbbing now, goading itself towards a cruel cycle of mounting irritation and response. Those shining pink nostrils flared astonishingly wide, and (even over so short a distance) the handkerchief rose just in time.
Unable to break the cycle, he sat hunched over the handkerchief, gasping for breath between each wrenching pair of sneezes. The increasing wetness of his handkerchief couldn’t be doing that raw skin any favours, and indeed as the fit progressed the sneezes became punctuated by involuntary moans. His shoulders heaved and shook with the effort of it all.
When he finally managed to blow his nose, she was certain she heard a badly-suppressed whimper. When his handkerchief had done all that could be done he leaned back in his chair, too weakened in the moment to do more than seek support for his no doubt aching head. His poor sore nose glowed redder than ever in the lamplight.
Wanted to enjoy some simple -choo sounds. Male allergy sneezing, not much else going on.
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Katie took a deep breath of the green-scented air, tilting her face towards the gentle sun. “Man, I forgot how nice the canal path is when it’s not turned to sludge.”
“We didn’t even get a good frost this winter,” Jay agreed. “I’ve missed comfortable walks.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve had to dress like I’m going on an expedition if I’ve wanted to go up to the fields. It’s bonkers how fast it turns nice once Spring gets kicking, though. It’s like the sun suddenly remembered how to be warm.”
Jay pulled the zip a little higher on his jacket. “The wind’s still a bit nippy though.”
“Fresh.” she spread her arms out to welcome it. “Something to wake you up.”
“It does feel like everything’s waking up.” Jay pointed to some bushes overhanging the low wall by the canal, heavy with fresh buds.
“Probably been as keen as us for a change. The wildlife’s coming back too. Have you seen any swallows at the farm yet?”
She looked over at Jay, but he shook his head, tight brown curls bouncing with the motion. “Hang on, I have to sneeze, I think.”
“Go ahead.” Katie slowed her pace slightly, admiring the sparkle of the water while her friend fell quiet, softly working up to-
“haht’choo!”
“Bless you.”
“Thanks.” Jay rubbed a finger across his nose, its soft tip bending with the pressure. “Anyway, I don’t think I’ve seen swallows yet this year. A couple of swifts.”
“The geese are back at the common.”
“The geese are always back early though,” Jay pointed out, ducking to pass under a straggly tree that had become awkwardly overgrown. “I think they’re a little bit more insulated than the poor swallows.”
“You know-”
Jay didn’t give her a warning this time, but she didn’t need one to stop talking. The look of ticklish distress that crossed his face before he pressed it into his shoulder spoke louder than words.
“Ah…ah…hah-choo!”
“Bless! Are you alright?”
Jay raised his head, blinking, and wrinkled his nose as though assessing it.
“I think there’s something in the breeze that’s getting to me. Feels too early for it to be allergy season already, but maybe that’s wishful thinking.” He touched a quick knuckle to the tip of his nose and sniffed.
“Does it generally sneak up on you?”
“Oh, every year.” Jay gave her a wry smile. “I avoid thinking about it while I’m sitting about hoping for Spring to come, and when it does it takes me by surprise.”
He sniffed again and gave his head a little half-toss, like he was trying to adjust its balance. His attention was obviously drifting away from the conversation.
“Going to sneeze again?”
“Probably? I- huhh-” his breath caught very slightly but went nowhere, pulling his face into a frown. He tried to sniff hard, but the sneeze made its mind up halfway through.
“snffhHH’CHOO!”
Unprepared for the moment, he sneezed in a tight flinch down towards his chest. Katie caught a glimmer of wetness as he raised his head, but he was turning away from her
“ahuh- aht’CHOO!”
“Yeesh! Bless you.”
“Yeah, thanks, I-” Jay double-sniffed, rapid-scrubbing his nose against the back of one hand. “Sorry, this is definitely allergies.”
“No need for sorrys. Do we need to turn back.”
“It’s not that far to the bridge, is it?” Jay pinched his nose and shook his head again. “No, if we keep going we can go up at the bridge and down Nelson Road. Pop into the chemist and get some stuff I should definitely have bought up before now.”
“Alright, sounds like a plan. Then-”
“ah…hah’choo! hh-snf! Oh, this is ridiculous.”
“Bless you. I was saying, after the chemist’s, maybe we should find something to do indoors.”
“If this keeps up? Yes pleahh- no.” He pinched his nose hard, buying a very temporary reprieve.“Yes please.”
part three! it's been five days. that's enough right? im new at this. i should've held a poll.
summary: with the danger taken care of, sue takes raizenauld someplace to rest, but getting there is going to prove a little tricky with that cold he has...
2.5k words, rated PG, no CWs. Cold sneezes, Dragon!sneeze, Magic!sneeze, Clumsy!sneeze, Trying not to sneeze, Sneezing fits, Blessing sneezes, Light caretaking, M sneeze
pt i
pt ii
pt iii
–:–
–:-
⚜⚜⚜
The tunnel behind the shop was as it had been. Long, bare, and roughly hewn along the ceiling. Closing the door up into the shop shrouded the entirety of it in a velvety darkness, but as Sue raised and waved a hand, several torches flared to life along the walls, lighting the way a good several yards ahead of them.
The passageway stretched on and on, the torches lighting as the two of them neared and made their way through. They walked mostly in silence, aside from the gentle tap of their footsteps resonating through the hall, and the sound of Raizenauld's voice echoing off the walls whenever he sneezed, which was often, and frequent.
Seeing that he did often trip over himself and lose his balance when he felt a sneeze coming on, Sue took to steadying him by the arm whenever she heard him sniffling too intently or heard his breath beginning to catch.
The only conversation really made in this place was the exchange of bless yous and thank yous until they reached the end of the hall.
The tunnel came to an abrupt halt, blocked off by a wall of solid stone, most of which was covered by the large woven tapestry adorning it. There-depicted was a great big jackal, its teeth bared and fangsome, with great arcing wings sprouting from its back. Sue held an arm out, stopping Raizenauld from approaching any further, while she herself took a few steps forward.
He blinked around at his surroundings a little nervously.
“So is this just... a really long empty hallway? I don't mean to be rude, it's a very nice hallway, but I thought there would be a place to rest... Not that I can't rest here, no no! It just sounded like you were offering something... different, is all,” he rambled.
Sue shook her head, turning back to face him.
“We're only stopping here for a moment, you don't need to worry,” she said. “Just stay right there, alright?”
Raizen nodded, folding his hands politely in front of himself to wait.
Taking another step towards the tapestry, Sue waved one of her hands through the air, and a much larger, spectral facsimile of the same appeared in the space before her, glittering and cobalt blue. It moved with her own motions, reaching out and scritching at the jackal's image beneath the chin. The picture came to life, then, climbing up its tapestry until it was out of sight, the heavy cloth rolling up behind it to reveal the stone beneath, smooth and uniform like the rest, save for a large square etching right at the center.
Raizenauld tilted his head at the things Sue was doing, obviously confused and not following along. He stayed put, as he was bid, but spoke up at last.
“Wizard Pendergast?” he called, getting her attention as she stepped forward to place her hand at the center of the shape.
“Yes?” she said, glancing at him back over her shoulder.
“Um. I don't get it. What is all this?” he said, looking around at the cavernous hallway and the rolled up tapestry and the large mysterious square marking.
“You'll see soon enough,” she assured him, smiling and nodding at him. “Just give me one more moment to focus, alright dear?”
“If you say so,” he replied, looking nervously back the way they'd came.
Sue returned her focus to the stone before her with one hand outstretched, placing her palm flat against it, closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath. A light wind materialized around her, swirling as she focused her magic into the stone. The simple square etching it bore began to glow a bright, cherry red, the color slowly shifting, first closer to vermillion, now closer to orange.
“Wizard Pendergast?” came Raizenauld's voice again. The glow flickered before Sue caught it faltering, pouring more magic in to correct it. One brow furrowed in concentration. Raizenauld quickly kept talking.
“I know I'm supposed to be sngffh! snff! giving you a minute to focus, and I appreciate that, but I... ...snffh! I th-houghht I should tehh-hell you I'm uhh–! snfgk! aah- haah– ahhbouht to– hihh! hAHh—! hrRAHZZ'SHUuie!!”
Raizenauld once again, in trying to turn away, stumbled off-kilter and landed himself on his rear. Several bolts of lightning showered through the air and dissipated on welcoming stone. Sue dropped the spell she was casting in favor of waiting for the poor beast to stop. Raizen drew another deep breath.
“hHAATSCHJSHH!! aeeahh– hh'hh-heHh– haAHh—! h'ADZZSCHhiew!!! hahh... hEHHZZSHiew! snfk! ugh... Oh god it won't... why wh-hon't it– ih– ehAHh! HAZSCHYIEUWHhe!!”
Sue stood back as a small storm of sparks, lightning, and smoke swirled around him and flashed in bursts from his nose and mouth while Raizenauld sneezed himself dizzy, eventually lying back on the cold stone ground to catch his breath and rub at his nose when he was finally done. His first handkerchief was quite spent by now and he found himself partway through his spare, a cloth of the same design but featuring the addition of a peach colored border around the outer edge.
“Bless you! My goodness, you poor thing! Are you alright?” Sue said, standing over him. Raizenauld, a bit dazed, took a moment to answer.
“Oh yes, I'm fine. Just going to lie here a moment while the room stops spinning,” he said, not even removing his handkerchief from his nostrils. Sue tsk’d.
“It is a good thing you're not out over the ocean like this. You lie there, we're almost through,” she said, returning to her spellwork.
Raizenauld interrupted her by sneezing again three times before she finally gave up and went to crouch by him.
“Are you sure you're alright?” she asked, brushing back his hair from his face with one hand. Raizenauld's features relaxed and he smiled at the touch.
“I can't stop sneezing,” he said.
“Yes, I'd noticed,” Sue said, continuing to stroke his hair since he seemed to like it. “Are you too cold?”
He shook his head.
“No, not really,” Raizen said, “My nose just tickles and it keeps– snffh! keepsmakingme sneeze— yhh-! you should stahndbahhck—! hhHHHh!! hehHTSHHhue!! oh... at least that one wasn't so bad...”
A burst of electrical smoke surged forth around his handkerchief as Raizenauld gave another exhausted sneeze, the cloud dissipating against the tunnel's high ceiling with the rest of it.
“You poor thing...” Sue said, resuming petting at Raizenauld's head as he laid there sniffling.
There was no way she was getting this spell cast until he was finished.
“Would you like me to stay here next to you until it stops?” she offered. Raizenauld gave another sniffle.
“Alright. Might be a while, though,” he said.
“That's just fine,” Sue responded, settling down to sit by him and keep petting his hair.
True to his prediction, it took maybe half an hour for the sneezes to die down to a point that didn't leave Raizenauld sneezing every minute or so.
“Are you feeling a little better?” Sue asked, once five whole minutes had gone by in relative peace and quiet.
Raizenauld snuffled, wiggling his nose testingly.
“I think so,” he said. “But I'm tired. That was a lot.”
Sue nodded, and gave his head another pet before going to stand and lending him a hand as well.
“I know. Come on, let's get you up and someplace more comfortable. Take my hand,” she said, helping him to his feet. He swayed slightly, and she wrapped an arm around his waist. Raizenauld sniffled and leaned against her for support. The poor thing must have really been exhausted.
“It's okay, I've got you,” Sue said, leading him back towards the wall with the square marking on it. Finally she was properly able to cast her spell, laying her hand on the center of the stone and funneling magic into it, a light wind rushing around them both as the etchings lit up red, then gold, then bright blue, finally giving way with a loud CRACK! before the entire square crumbled to rubble, leaving an opening about the size of a large doorway.
“Come now, we have to step through quickly,” she said, beckoning Raizenauld forward with her arm still around him. He nodded, and followed along.
They found themselves, then, in a closet-sized stone chamber, where the only feature other than the hole they'd stepped through was a thick wooden door, with a keyhole and a brass knob. Shortly after stepping into the chamber, the tapestry unfolded back over the hole behind them with a sharp THWUMPFH, and the stone wall began clattering and crackling as it knit itself back together.
Raizenauld looked back at these workings with some alarm, sniffling and trembling, eyes wide as he addressed Sue.
“Wizard Pendergast—”
“Please, call me Sue,” she said, letting go of him to take a gold key with a red gem in the handle out from her sleeve and insert it into the lock by touch. Raizen nodded.
“Sue,” he said. “What is all this? Where are we?”
Sue smiled, and turned the key in the latch, taking Raizenauld by the hand and leading him through to the other side.
“Home security system,” she said lightly, smirking up at him. “And we're now in my cellar, or one of them. This is where I store dry goods, liquids are in the next room down.”
Raizenauld blinked around the room. It was a decent size, and true to Sue's word it seemed to be full of mostly root vegetables. He could easily see some onions and potatoes from where they stood, as well as some vegetables he just didn't recognize. The place was dry and dim and smelled mostly of dirt.
“This is your home?” he asked, touched to have been brought in by her. Sue nodded.
“Part of it. Come along now, it's a lot more comfortable on the higher floors,” she said, leading him through to another door. She hesitated before moving ahead, turning to consider her companion.
“Er, Raizenauld,” she started. He smiled at her amiably, despite the state of him.
“Yes,” he answered. Sue pursed her lips thoughtfully.
“The next couple of rooms... well they do have reactive substances within. If you have any sneezes left in you, you'd best get them out in here, if you can,” she said. Raizenauld tilted his head.
“What's that? Reactive... Reactive substances...” he said, repeating the words and squinting as if their structure would reveal something to him. It did not.
“Meaning, if they got hit with lightning they could be dangerous, or start a fire,” she explained. Raizenauld nodded.
“Ohh, yeah, better not have any of that flying around then,” he said, nodding in agreement until the rest of Sue's statements caught up with him, his eyes going wide in realization.
“Oh, me! I do that when I sneeze,” he said, putting two and two together at last. Sue nodded.
“Exactly, which is why if you feel you need to sneeze we really ought to stay in here for a moment until you don't feel that way anymore,” she said.
“Oh, okay that makes sense,” Raizen said, sniffling.
“Do you?” Sue asked. Raizenauld blinked back.
“Do I what?” he asked.
“Do you feel like you need to sneeze?” she clarified for him.
“Oh... I don't know, let me check... snfffh? ..... snfffffffhhh? hm... No,” Raizenauld said, taking a few deep, appraising sniffs to determine the quality of his sinuses.
Sue looked at him uncertainly.
“And you're sure about that...” she asked.
Raizen nodded, sniffling again and smiling at her good naturedly.
“I am. I'm good now,” he assured her. She nodded, and led ahead.
“Alright then. We should still try to make this quick,” she said as they made their way through a room filled with various kegs and barrels. “Regardless of if your nose has settled for now, you do still have a cold.”
Raizen nodded, giving a hefty sniffle.
“Yeah. I do, ” he agreed.
The next room was the apothecary, and it was much bigger than the other two, and it was longer and full of more interesting things. A large black cauldron dominated its main corner, which itself was recessed and circular. Bottles and jars of mysterious components lined tables and shelves, and the room grew narrower and more bare the farther it got down towards the door on the right.
They were about halfway through it when Raizenauld stopped, the suddenness of his halting catching Sue's attention. She turned to find him leaning heavily on his back foot and wobbling slightly, scrunching and wiggling his nose feverishly.
“Oh no, don't– Just– Hang on!” she said.
Thinking quickly, she spun the unsteady dragon around by the hips and gave him a rough shove into the corner of the room, just as the tips of his teeth began to show in a sneezy snarl and his breath caught in a heady gasp.
Raizen's hands, halfway to his face in what was sure to be an awful attempt to contain himself, instead flew out to catch himself against the edge of the cauldron as he stumbled and fell, letting out a massive—
“hAAHHTSCHYUUe!!”
—that sent lightning bolts skittering around and through the bowl of the cauldron itself. He sniffled, his shoulders shaking into another sneeze.
“heehTSCHHyiewh!! snffh! Whew... that was a close one. Good thing this pot was here,” he said, drooping over the side of the cauldron now that his frame wasn't rigid with ticklishness.
“I thought you said you didn't need to sneeze!” Sue said, heart still racing from such a close call.
Raizenauld sniffled.
“I didn't! ...well, until I did. Then I really had to... Sorry. It surprised me, too, if that's worth anything,” he said. He scrubbed a wrist under his nose and retrieved his handkerchief, leaning back against the cauldron to blow it again.
Sue sighed, and collected herself.
“That's alright. We managed to avoid any harm being done,” she said. “Do you think you can make it through the rest of the way without that nose going off again?”
Working on convincing myself that when you cancel plans due to debilitating migraine you then don't get to feel guilty about using that now-"free" time for Tasks.
I feel like in some furry/anthro societies wearing perfume would either be kind of a social faux pas at events (since probably a lot of dog-types and other sharper-nosed beings would struggle with it), or as a somewhat shady/deceitful trait (since your natural scent might otherwise reveal details about how you're feeling or where you've been recently).
Mind you, social attitudes change. It might become a Youth Trend that annoys all the more traditional furs.
Society where access to certain perfumes (or just good perfume at all) is tied to wealth and status so you pretty much have to wear them if you want to be treated like you have that status... even if your nose objects.
Thinking of someone in a lower-order noble family who has to save their stocks for special occasions (so they're not as used to strong perfumes hehe) travelling to the City in hopes of finding a marriage partner and discovering they have to put in more work than most to keep up appearances...
Seems "Actors can't do a good fake sneeze!" was a more common complaint than I expected (sorry, this is from my stash of stuff I screenshot in Days of Yore and I haven't gone digging for the source).
jacobvanloon
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