Walking On Legos

Just your everyday Aspie trying to adult properly.

[recovery-within-the-iris]

I dont know what autistic person needs to hear this but its ok to flap your hands, jump up and down, get abit louder, drool alittle, shake, make quick movements, get teary eyed and generally stim when you get really excited or happy. Your not annoying, your not childish and your not scaring anyone, your not embarrassing yourself or your friends or your parents or anyone else. You are allowed to stim and express your happiness in any way you please. Your friends and family will understand that these actions are instinctual, not your choice and are just your amazing autistic brain’s way of showing just how truely happy and excited you are and you are allowed to express that. You’re ok and you will be ok, you are allowed to be happy and express that wether it is partnered with “~aesthetic stims~”, “ unappealing stims” or no stim at all. All your stims are beautiful.

All your stims are beautiful~!!

[ficklepickle109]

Yes!!! All of the yes!!!!

[ficklepickle109]

Autistic Love Moment #200000

When he calls you Potato Girlfriend with all the affection he can muster in his voice and you just sink back in awe of the fact of most people would find being called a potato offensive but when that word escapes his mouth, it’s such a stim and a term of endearance. I love him so much. 😍❤️

[princessofpenguins]

❤️❤️❤️

[ficklepickle109]

Yes!

[ficklepickle109]

Autistic Flirting moment #234

Boyfriend: *trying to be sexy*

Boyfriend: Because we both have needs

Me: Special needs.

Both laughing our asses off. 😂😂😂😂

Side note: my boyfriend is also autistic.🙌😍

[adhighdefinition]

growing up without a fidget toy moodboard

[paint-it-over]

[ficklepickle109]

Yes! So much this!

[analogueswords]

This may shock some of you

But the communication between two autistic people is inherently different from communication involving an allistic person.

We have different social rules.

We interpret certain cues very differently.

So something that may seem cold or impersonal to you doesn’t mean that’s how it is interpreted within our community, and saying that we should unlearn these behaviors to be more pleasing to you is, in fact, ableist.

[ficklepickle109]

Yes! I’m finding this to be so true with my boyfriend who is also on the autism spectrum. We have our own lingo and sense of humor.

[puddlecomic]

if you’ve been trained to to dislike yourself for enjoying anything due to years of being told you’re annoying clap your hands 👏👏👏

if I listed out every particular instance that was met with negativity enough for me to stop feeling comfortable talking about it, this comic would be like 50 panels.

[ more comics | Patreon | Tapastic ]

[allstoriesarereal]

Okay so this is so important. Please don’t ignore this post if you think it doesn’t apply to you, because even if it doesn’t, it could be happening to someone you care about. And it may seem like nothing, it feels like it’s nothing for a while but after hearing people say just how boring or dumb something you love is… well, you start to believe it. Before you realise it you find yourself not finishing stories or sentences because there’s a voice in your head saying “shut up, no one cares” and just like that those things you used to love so much lose their spark. They no longer make you as happy as before, everything is tainted and you hate yourself for not fitting in, for not being as interesting as everyone else. Because if everyone says you aren’t then they must be right? But no! It’s not true and you tell yourself that everytime, but it’s not enough. You have to learn to love the things you used to love again.

In my case, I’ve missed out on so many experiences because of this. I had given up trying to make people see the things I like aren’t a waste of time. But I’m slowly trying to claim them back.

So please, if someone you know ever tells you something about them or about what they like please listen to them. Even if you don’t really enjoy the thing they are telling you about, if they matter to you please listen. That simple action could mean the whole world to them.

[megatronforever]

this is kinda painful tbh

[titleknown]

Also, speaking as an autistic dude rebloggin from another autistic dude, this treatment/feeling is so much a part of the autistic experience it ain’t even funny.

Which does say something about inbaked societal ableism that I can’t quite articulate…

[insanelyridiculous]

This hit me hard

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

:(

I can relate to this feeling so much….

[ficklepickle109]

I can relate on a spiritual level.😞

[ficklepickle109]

I have a Super Power

You know what that super power is? It’s being able to stuff how I really feel so far down that it causes mental and emotional damage. I did this so much because I yearned to fit in and feel like everyone else. I wanted to appease others and gain approval. I was also diagnosed in my early 20’s. My bounderaries were often not taken seriously or ignored. One of those boundaries being the fact that I am uncomfortable with nudity. I thought that with time, especially with being young and all, that I’d grow to like being naked in front of others at certain times. (especially my husband.) I numbed myself to my discomfort over time and actually thought that I liked being a “nudist” I wish I liked nudity and I wish I liked sex. I really don’t and I got to really thinking about it because I really want to be close to a dear friend of mine and I want to feel comfortable seeing him naked and showering together in a non sexual way , but there is this internal fear and anxiety holding me back. I meditated on this subject last night after hearing a song about not having to take clothes off to have a good time and I felt very at ease while listening to it. I want to not have the super power of burying my feelings anymore. I want to spread awareness about the fact that there are many autistic people who have personal boundaries that can vary and be different from most and that those boundaries need respect no matter how how odd or “ridiculous” they seem. I don’t like nudity and I’m validating my feelings about it after a decade of stuffing them down. I feel empowered and I hope others get inspired to validate their own buried feelings as well. I know my friend will understand and he accepts me for me and respects my boundaries.

[ficklepickle109]

I’m Asexual..

I started seeing a new therapist that actually specializes in autism. So far, she’s amazing and I’m so glad I got referred to her. I talked about feelings I have toward sex and some feelings I lack towards it and she said it did sound like I am asexual. She also said that asexuality often goes right along with an Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis. I thought about what she said and really dived deep into my mind to try to decipher why the thought of sex is so appealing but when the act happens, I don’t enjoy it as much and I feel “wrong”. I realized that I thought of sex as the ultimate way to get to know someone’s personality. I thought of the male genetalia as a magic USB cord that allowed me to read someone’s personality and bond with them. I thought I could literally see all of the person through sex. That’s so not true and now that I am aware of my emotional blindness due to Asperger’s Syndrome, this thought process makes sense. I also used sexual activity to regulate my sensory system to allow for closeness. Sex was a stim! I do not have the proper understanding of sex to do it in a healthy way nor does it catch my attention after realizing these things. I’m posting this in case there’s other autistic people out there that have this thought process or something similar. Realizing these things sooner could have saved me so much emotional pain. I hope this information can help someone else.

[ccandystripe]

How have I?? Never seen the video of this??? What a fuckin dork

[ficklepickle109]

😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ficklepickle109]

New Years

I’m sitting here next to my best friend who’s asleep. We are spending New Years having a cuddle fest and listening to classic rock on Pandora. The only problem is my phone has too low of battery to continue with music. Now it’s quiet except for the train and the occasional fireworks and his soft snoring. Not to sound creepy but he looks beautiful while he sleeps. My arm keeps falling asleep and being in pain so I’m sitting up watching, listening to the quiet and typing my thoughts. I’m not where I want to be in regards to living a great life, but here is where I’m happiest. I may be losing my job, finances are tight, and everyday feels hopeless. I’m hoping this next year will have some positive changes.

[ficklepickle109]

No Shame!

So, something I’ve decided for myself. I have decided to have no shame about being 25 and still drawn to baby toys. They are after all meant for baby’s sensory development and for many autistic and neurodivergent people, the sensory system can be immature or overly sensitive. Baby toys are great as stim toys and are affordable. I carry around a collapsible silicon ball that is technically a baby toy. I don’t care! It helps me and it works well. I’ve also decided that I don’t have to be a part of the “Little” community to like and appreciate toys meant for infants. Hi, I’m Liz, I’m 25,autistic, a Behavioral Therapist and I carry around baby toys to aid in my sensory processing and regulation. I have 0 shame and 0 fucks given about what the general public thinks of me. Reblog if you agree!

[ficklepickle109]

That Face.

One thing I hate is when I say something probably seemingly awkward and then the person I’m talking to’s facial expression changes. It shifts to a darker, blank look that I can’t quite place. Are they annoyed with me? Angry? Frustrated? I’m not sure. It makes me feel defensive and unsure of myself simply because I have a difficult time reading people’s faces. It’s really difficult to not dwell on. Anyone else experience this?

[ficklepickle109]

Tics.

I haven’t written in awhile. I started a new job where I’m working with kiddos who are autistic and I’ve had to face and deal with an issue that I’ve never really had to deal with before. I get tics that are triggered by certain things. If someone has unusual movement or odd vocalizations, I feel like I have to imitate it and if I hold in that urge, it feels like I have a mix of pins and needles and fire under my skin and sometimes I feel like I have to move my whole body to make it feel better. It’s so uncomfortable! It’s like anxiety builds in my nerve fibers and it spreads like ants crawling under my skin. I can hold in the urge but it builds and builds and my heart pounds then suddenly my body moves before I can mentally say “Hey!” Usually, I can get away from stimuli that triggers this but with this new job, I can’t. Thankfully, my work is nice and accommodating and is working on a solution with me. I’m also going to call a new therapist for guidance in this matter. I feel kind of bad because at the end of the day, my autistic traits show up very prominently and this is one thing that does happen too. I shouldn’t feel bad because this is who I am, but I still do.

[ficklepickle109]

Queerplatonic with kids in the picture.

I’m in a QP and I have a daughter and I am also divorced. My QP is a man who I love very much. I guess in short, what I’m trying to say is it is not easy when you have a QP life partner and you have a child but you don’t expect your QP to be her father, but he’s a big part of your life and part of your family, therefore he should get to know her, but your ex husband is a bit uncomfortable with it, no one else would understand and just assume that he’s your boyfriend. He’s not. Not many people understand how powerful queer platonic relationships can be and how they are just as important as other relationships. It feels emotionally heavy and trying to keep that balance of my daughter spending time with her father and then her spending time with me and my QP. It’s hard. Being divorced is not easy.

[ficklepickle109]

I did a Brave Thing.

I basically came out as Aromantic to my former mother in law when she asked if I and her son were getting back together. I explained (in my case) that autism heavily influences how I perceive any type of relationship and that I may not have the capacity or understanding for a romantic relationship at this time and that I prefer close friendships over anything else. She was kind and understanding. I feel quite brave because it’s not an easy thing to mention to someone who’s your ex husbands mother.

[ficklepickle109]

Dear Ex Girlfriend.

You don’t know what love is, you don’t know what friendship is. You don’t know what relationships consist of. Shit, I’m the least knowledgeable of relationships yet I have a better idea of love than you do. I know that love is love and can be shown and expressed in different ways. I know that the “friend zone” is not less important than “significant other”. The friend zone is a stupid term because it makes romance the ultimate goal between two people. Romance is not more important! I wish I could still be friends and it’s so stupid that romance throws a wrench into a fantastic friendship. Maybe someday you’ll know what love is. You’re so immature and infatuated with beauty and sexuality. You don’t know who you are and it’s obvious in your outward presentation. Your “I love you” was not meant, it was simply a habitual saying and a statement declaring your infatuation with your perception of me. How I’m so “great” and “beautiful” but the more I started talking, the more I became a challenge rather than a beautiful display you so desperately wanted to shelve. I’m not your crystal figurine, my dear. It’s your loss not wishing to know me as “friend” although you cannot have me as “lover”. I wish I could take back that kiss and give it to someone who sees me, and actually exercises love. I love you-as a friend.