Can these trembling hands really make a difference

Indie Child OC blog from F.E: Awakening. Faceclaim: Anew Returner - Gundam 00 Henry's daughter from the future, she's a devout follower of Naga and her teachings. A pacifist by nature and a vegetarian, she is as sweet as sugar. The one most eager to help with anything.

[bashfuldaisies-blog]

( ✿ ) ~ “I-I..!”

And his secret was practically out. While he could’ve just walked away from her and end the conversation, he was too shocked to move. He was used to watching others’ emotions and reflecting on them - not the other way around. To put it short - he never prepared for this type of situation. 

He flinched at her touch, but didn’t move away. 

“I.. guess it’s true. All of it. But only because.. there’s no time for me to think about myself. I’m far more worried about everyone else’s wellbeing that there just isn’t any room for me. But I fail to see how my feelings are.. well, important.”      

[fille-du-temps]

        “Oh, Inigo...” she sighed, “do you think the others and myself so blind? While I most definitely cannot speak for the rest, I do know this. Just because no one chooses to address a comrades problem, does not mean it is not because they do not notice.” Ciel shook her head gradually from side to side, “I believe it is their respect towards your friendship that keeps the questions at bay.” She clasped her hands before her, “we’ve all known pain and loss... I doubt what you feel is not an emotion one of us has not felt before.”  

       “Just because you do a great job concealing the pain, doesn't mean that it does not exist... just because some find happiness does not mean they are cured completely.” Her expression was sympathetic, “I know that behind most smiles; yours, mine, Cynthia’s, Owain’s, etc... I know that behind even the happiest of smiles, there is still pain.” One of her hands rose to her heart, “its there. It some part of it will always remain, but it only grows when you feel deceived by a friend.” Ciel offered him a smile, “by being selfish and carrying about your own mental and sentimental well-being is actually beneficial to the others. If you allow happiness to enter your heart, and open up your true sentiments, then you will find that in turn, that shall further spread happiness.” 

        The cleric giggled, “after all... joy is contagious.“

[missiletainns-chosen-archive]

greetings!

[missiletainns-chosen-archive]

The offer startled Owain for a moment – he had been fully expecting her to decline, but not to offer help. Recovering quickly, though, he eased right back into his practiced manner of speech. “I do apologize, milady! I meant no offense.” He obediently lowered his sword hand and blade to his side.

“Owain requires no aid, though, of course! Fear not, I was only practicing. Although, uh…” Actually, water did sound pretty good right now. “…would you mind if I took that canteen? I mean, er… My sword hand does thirst, despite the lack of true opponents!”

[fille-du-temps]

        Without any hesitation, the lavender haired cleric happily nodded her head and surrendered over the canteen she carried. .

        “’Tis quite all right, my good sir.” Ciel tried to mimic Owain’s tone, though honestly it didn’t take that much effort... her speech was already normally so formal, that all she needed to do was just play with her tone. “I guarantee that both you and your sword hand shall feel replenished after a mere sip.”

        It wasn’t exactly plain ol’ water, Ciel may had added a few hint of herbal juices to give it a recovering boost. The taste was mild, especially considering that some of the herbs that went into it could be quite bitter. However after numerous attempts at trail and error, Ciel had managed to perfect her ‘eau miracle,’ essentially, miracle water.

        Giggling lightly, she added in a more casual tone; “I take it your training has been yielding positive results. I’ve heard murmurs amongst the camp of your victory and triumphs in the last battle.”

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

Venix pokes he head out to see what’s wrong. “Hey nobody’s hurt right?” He means other than himself of course. “What made it fall?”

[fille-du-temps]

      A very stunned cleric lay face down on the floor, aside from a bruise that would surely form on her left brow, she was otherwise unharmed. Very gradually, Ciel rolled around onto side and sat up, her embarrassment overshowed the minor pains and aches she felt.

      "I shall live,” she shook her head as she went to rise to her feet, “I was just careless... I should have paid more attention to where I was going.”

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

AU | Fevenir à la Nature || Venix | Ciel

fille-du-temps

“Hmm she looks lost.” Venix says in a singsong tone, his voice coming from nowhere and everywhere at once. “But that means she has a place to go. Where does she want to go? How did she get here? Questions, questions..”

[fille-du-temps]

          It felt like Ciel had been wondering around for hours now, the trees were so high and thick that she couldn't even see the sky. Her greatest fear was that she had been walking in circles, by now all the trees and brush had begun to look the same. To make matters worse, she had only grown hungrier and colder throughout the day. It had been a terrible idea to go out on a walk shortly after breakfast, and especially not bring anything to protect her against the harsh winds that rocked the woods. By now the frustrated tears had ceased, leaving only redder eyes in its wake. Her voice had weakened after all the calling out for help she had done. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't even walk anymore.

              ”Daddy...” she muttered under her breath as she finally sat under one of the many identical trees. “I’m sorry, I should have listened.” Her father had always warned her about going into the woods by herself, she should have known better than to get curious. “I just wanted to know who was talking.” That’s why she had ventured here in the first place, she would occasionally hear a voice echo from the woods, sometimes they were saying sometimes, sometimes they were laughing. She should have known better than to follow it, now look where it had gotten her. “I want to go home...” she began to sniffle again, “Father, please find me.”

[soul-lilly]

So my friend Miacis was streaming Radiant Dawn for me earlier today, we decided to make Haar and Oscar support buddies. He was trying to rescue Oscar with Haar but couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t happening, probably because then this would be a familiar scene (like I’m sure it is in Awakening). 

Art by my Mamacakes, as usual~

[fille-du-temps]

Souvenirs du Passé || Ciel | Henry

[flowofichorandspells-deactivate]

Henry continued stirring the contents within the cauldron, for it needed to stay stabilized. “Im making a potion that will erase smell.. Though it seems like it will do the opposite right now.” Henry muttered the last part looking around the table for his next ingredient and tossing in a few newts.

Hmm it did have some resemblance to last weeks dinner, maybe adding some would stop it from wanting to hop out of the pot, or possible some fresh morning dew drops infused with flower essence to help the smell. All the thinking had slowed down his stirring and the cauldron started to bubble and pop, it snapped him back to reality and he quickly increased his stirring.

[fille-du-temps]

      It was a rare treat to have her father request her company while he worked, despite her uneasiness she wasn’t about to refuse him.

      Essential oils that are derived from herbs like lavender, sage, oregano or rosemary might eliminate body odor

      "Perhaps if you add some essential oils, that may help eliminate the smell.” She picked up some lavender, sage, oregano and rosemary that she had picked. “I usually use grind them, extract the oil then mix them to create to control my bad odor in between shower schedules.”

       Henry was not paying attention to the cauldron, and neither was his daughter during her explanation. However the sudden pop did attract her attention, and like a dragon spewing fire, she jumped back and hid behind her father. She leaned up against him, looking over his shoulder.

      “Is it alive?” she foolishly asked.

[missiletainns-chosen-archive]

greetings!

 fille-du-temps 

“Aha, come to challenge the great Owain?” Despite being caught practicing some of his special moves, the myrmidon’s grin was confident as ever. “A valiant offer, but I cannot promise to stay my blade should you fall!”

[fille-du-temps]

        "Me? Oh no, absolutely not.” She giggled, “I took an oath against violence, but no matter.” The cleric shrugged, “my apologies for the intrusion, Owain. I was merely doing my runs around the training grounds.”

        "I come bearing gifts, water and medical attention if you so require it.” To prove her point, she raised the canteen and healing staff, “so please...” she looked rather nervous, “please lower your hand.”

[fille-du-temps]

 convxntus:

Under the cut because WOW, this is getting long. Sit back ladies and gentleman keeping up with this. Soul’s about to get hard core. For those not interested, keep moving on, nothing to see here.

Your sitting here telling me that my experience is invalid while you haven’t experienced it. You were the one that I talked to about my grandfather and his death, and now you fight me for saying I don’t like seeing this thing being taken lightly.

I’m sitting here, telling you, that you are making yourself miserable and angry when you really shouldn’t be. And its true, I was there, and I shared my experiences too, but do you constantly see me bringing up my own pains and misfortunes? I get it, apples to oranges and what not, we cannot be compared. But I did not say your experience was invalid, however I can only take so much whining and complaining. Why do you think I always break the silence and come tell you to calm your arse down? Seriously, it’s been almost two years, I would have thought you would have caught onto this by now.

Yes, how dare you come to me and tell my something I have experienced is invalid, when you yourself have never gone through two deaths because of alcohol, and you yourself were not a victim to it. How dare you tell me, someone who has lost too many people to this, that I am wrong.

“when you yourself have never gone through two deaths because of alcohol, and you yourself were not a victim to it.”

Who’s making assumptions now? The difference between you and I is that I keep quiet and only speak these matter with other people who I feel are mature and capable. I’ve held telling you things for this very reason FeeFee, because YOU ARE YOUNG.

You should be ashamed. You come to me and put words in my mouth and get angry at those words.

But I’m not, and I honestly don’t care if this makes you hate me at this point. I’m not even going to apologize for calling you out on your hypocrisy. Remember the gold ol’ fashion Fionn? The one we all originally fell in love with, the one who could drink many of the other muses under the table. She was a truly wonderful and classy lady, flawed but ultimately beautiful. She only slept when she passed out from too much alcohol. What happened to her? I’ll tell you what happened, you replaced her with someone by the same name but held nothing of her true character.

I have told people to stop this. Did it ever occur to you that I made the post because they didn’t listen?

This is Tumblr for you, say what you like Amanda, truly do hate me for it but I will make this very clear once and for all. YOU DON’T NEED TO BE ON TUMBLR. Tumblr is a public domain for a reason, I’m not telling you to quick but I am telling you to stop acting so... unreasonable. My god, this is the same dance we’ve had in the past, I would think you would have grown tired by now. It seems more often than not you only come to make weird or intolerable OC remarks, or make strange IC remarks that are somehow linked to OC things. 

You can’t even say you RP much anymore, on occasion yeah but dear god... as difficult as it is to accept, you need to let things go. Stop blaming the entertainment of others for your lack of, because while it is your intention or not... This is EXACTLY what you are portraying. My only hope for you is that you would one day wake up and realize what it actually is that you’re doing. Maybe then, and maybe only then, we could actually consider one another friends again. However, knowing how things go... I might have to check back on you when you turn 25 if not 30.

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

“No. guy wasn’t friendly.” He said as she got up. “Thanks for checking me out by the way.“ He stood up himself and held up a hand before she left. “The uh.. doctor have any last orders for me? Staying away from work for a few days? Take two pills and call you in the morning?” He was smiling at her, happy she wasn’t worried anymore. “Maybe anything I can help with?”

[fille-du-temps]

       Then the not so friendly individual better hope he and the cleric did not cross paths, or she would give him a firm staff clobbering.  

      Pausing by the door, she briefly turned around to look at him and shook her head, “oh it’s no trouble at all. I did offer after all, but please don’t trouble yourself… just remain sitting as you are, I shall return momentarily.”

      With that said, she hurriedly stepped outside and went to dump the soiled water in one of the patches of grass, stopping very quickly by one of the water barrels to fetch some clean water. Once that was done, she hurried back, returning after maybe a five minute absence. As she was entering, she thought she heard someone call her name from across the camp and turned around… while still walking and outright tripped on one of her belongings that somehow managed to find its way to the floor. The water filled bowl slipped from her hands and went flying, a stream of water coursing through the air as the cleric herself fell forward and down.

      The maiden gasped, unreasonably shutting her eyes and waiting for the impact against the ground. A bit in front of her, she heard the loud sound of glass hitting the ground and shattering.

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

“Funny story actually.” He started, giving her a small grin and trying to be lighthearted about it. “Actually another person doing the same thing as me. He was just as surprised as I was to see another scout. There was a uh.. small scuffle. He got it worse than me.” He shrugged, then winced, that hurt more than he thought.

“He’s still alive though, ran off before I could finish him off.”

[fille-du-temps]

       ”Was if friendly fire?” she inquired, her brows furrowing. “Oh dear...”

       If another of their comrades had been injured in a mistaken skirmish, she would most definitely have to ask around and insure they too, received treatment. As relieved as she was that no real harm had fell upon Venix, she couldn't help but worry about the other. Unless they were the enemy, which the scout before her seemed to imply, in which case... he better learn his lesson and stay away. For if she met them, she might very well wack them on the head with her staff and then scurry off to confession to repent.

      "Well, you certainly could have ended up a lot worse.” She stood up straight, picking up the bowl of the now dirty water. “It would have been most unfortunate if worse had happened. I am glad that was not the case.” As usual, she gave him that same warm smile she was well known for, “I’ll be back in just a moment. I must go retrieve some fresh water.”

[bashfuldaisies-blog]

( ✿ ) ~ “…dead?”

It hadn’t occurred to him that someone could pick up on his.. true feelings, just by observation. Surely he hadn’t made it that obvious, had he? I need to be more careful. I can’t let them know, at all costs.. no, they would hate me if they knew everything.

He cleared his throat, nervously tugging at the collar of his shirt. “I.. I have no idea what you’re saying, miss. Perhaps you’ve misunderstood my intentions and body language.”

[fille-du-temps]

       "Perhaps--” she didn't look too convinced but she wasn't one to argue with another even when they were incorrect, it just wasn't in her nature. “--but that is what I see.”

       Ciel may have been oblivious to others things, but when it came to people’s emotions she was quite perceptive. She was a strongly empathetic individual, but it wasn't just that, Ciel had always taken in interest in studying other people’s emotions by excessive watching. One could say, she was dwelling in the field of psychology, even if no actual study or profession existed yet. Ciel didn't and couldn't know romance because she had never experienced romantic love, but she could very easily understand everything else.

      "You need not feel shame, Inigo.” While it may have been out of her station, touch was one of the only ways she knew to properly heal. Raising her hand, she lightly touched his left cheek. “You shed invisible tears, but fail to notice them because--” she moved her hand to his chest, “--you have chosen to not feel the sadness that lies within your heart.“ 

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

“Sorry to give you such a scare. I didn’t think you would be so worried.” He closed his eyes as she washed around it. Venix gave her a small grin. “Guess you can’t have been any worse than I am right now.” He could have gone to any number of medics or healers around here but she had offered to help before. “It was just a small fight. I won.”

[fille-du-temps]

       The cleric gradually smiled and shook her head at his apology, “worry not. ‘Twas quite all right.”

        Ciel never claimed to be brave, but what she lacked in courage she made up in kindness and compassion. It was her concern for others that made her such a dedicated healer and overall giving individual; while she was capable of offensive magic, she would not lift a tome and because she would not fight, she would contribute as much as she could in the only way she knew she was capable in.

       "You are not fairing as bad as I originally believed,” she added with relief, “but I must ask... what sort of quarrel were you in?” Ciel paused, finally done with the cleaning around his face; the bruise clearly evident in his features. “Did you encounter one of the enemy while on patrol?”  

[anamnesxs-blog]

fille-du-temps

[anamnesxs-blog]

Gods, protect him. Let him be happy, and healthy, and safe. Always. Give him everything he wants: money, power, women. …Men? Men, too, if that is what he desires. Look after him when I cannot. 

Allow me to die in his service.

…And please, let him love me back. 

Voldo buried his head in his hands and growled, startling the patrons of the rather empty church. Oh, he was such a fool- and so selfish. His master cared for him in his own way. Of course he did. Every once in a while, however, Voldo wished that the man would actually show it. 

Though he revealed no signs of discomfort, his back still ached from the vicious caning he endured just hours prior. His master always was a difficult man to please, and at times, he made Voldo feel like quite the failure. 

With a quiet and irritated whine, he clasped his hands together and prayed harder, with every ounce of his conviction.

Gods, allow me to serve him better. Make me stronger, faster, smarter. Make worthy of his affection. I want to be everything that he desires and more. Gods, please, make me into the perfect servant!

[fille-du-temps]

       It was a common practice of her to visit the church or place of worship located in the town or village that the Shepherds camped near. Being a woman of the clothe, Ciel felt a certain responsibility to pay her respects at every temple and assist in any way she was allowed. In these terrible times of war, there was nothing the world needed more than a little kindness and a helping hand.

       The cleric’s heels lightly paddled against the wooden floor as she made her way down the isle, there was a bouquet of wild flowers that she had collected nestled in her arms. When she finally reached the alter, the cleric placed them in one of the empty metallic vases. Once setting those down, she kneeled before the alter, adjusting the veil on her hair and muttering a small prayer before standing up once more and making her way to one of the pews.

       It was then that the cleric noticed a seemingly distressed man who appeared begging the gods for a miracle. Ciel frowned at the sight, it was a common one, men, woman and children asking her grace for an end to their troubles. With a mute sigh, she walked past him, taking a seat in the pew behind him. This temple was quite small, and there were not very many benches, in order to respect his privacy, she opted  for sitting in the second row instead of the usual first.

       Again the cleric kneeled, and began to recite her own prayers. Instead of asking the gods for help or requests, her’s gave thanks for the good present in the world. It could be as simple as thanking Naga for the flowers that bloomed, for giving her the chance to live another day and for giving her the strength do heal. Ciel thanked the goddess for her father’s health, for the Prince’s kindness and for the Grandmaster’s ability to reduce casualties of the innocent and good.

       After several minutes, the other man’s prayer and frustrations became evident to the cleric; opening her eyes, she cast a quick glance at the man. Now that she was closer and could actually see, the blond man looked in pain, and not just the emotional or spiritual kind. If her eyes were serving her well, he looked physically injuries. Ciel was not the type to see a hurt individual or critter in clear need of aid and simply walk past them. Rising from her seat, she moved towards the center of the bench, behind the praying individual and took a seat.

       Getting a better view, she confirmed that the man was most definitely in need of healing; in every sense of the word. Extending her hand, she placed one delicate set of fingers on the man’s tense shoulders.

      "Excuse, sir...” The lavender haired nun began, “are you well?”

[fille-du-temps]

Souvenirs du Passé || Ciel | Henry

[flowofichorandspells-deactivate]

Henry poured dry ingredients into a small cauldron, stirring a bit after adding every ingredient. “Oh thank you Ciel!” Henry smiled, taking the ingredients. “You can stay if you wish, it would be nice to have some company today.”

Henry poured the new dry ingredients into the cauldron before adding multiple wet ingredients and quickly stirring it.

[fille-du-temps]

       It was a rare treat to have her father request her company while he worked, despite her uneasiness she wasn’t about to refuse him. 

       "Oh! Yes, of course!” She chirped and hurriedly walked over, emptying her satchel of the herbs she had collected. Finishing her task quickly, the cleric set her bag down and leaned forward beside her father. “May I ask what you are preparing?”

       The smell coming from the cauldron was absolutely repulsive, in addition to the content inside looking anything but appetizing. In fact... it looked quite similar to the soup she had heard that Lady Sully prepared once. She wondered... Ciel cast a side glance at her father... no, surely he was not trying to recreate it. With a shrug, Ciel went to sit on top of his cot, making her self comfortable and picking up one of the many books resting on it.

[bashfuldaisies-blog]

( ✿ ) ~ “In which case, I hold the happiness of my loved ones higher than my own. As long as they’re happy with their love, I don’t mind being alone sometimes.” He replied in a quiet voice, a faint smile on his face, albeit a sad one. “A lover would be nice, but it is not something I truly desire for myself. I only want the happiness of others.”

He’d been too selfish to deserve a lover, anyway. He’d always sneak off to do some dance practice instead of training to get better at fighting in battles.. Instead of helping his country and people, he pursued his own goals and passions. It was something he felt incredibly guilty over.

[fille-du-temps]

       "If Ciel could read minds, which she couldn't, she would have probably argued that Inigo was anything but selfish. How could a man who cared so much about the happiness of his friends and family every be considered self-fish? He was kind, brave and loving in his own way, Ciel may have even pointed this out to him... if she had the gift of telepathy.

       ”I suppose if you shall remain adamant,” she cleric pouted, “there is nothing I could do to change your mind...” Ciel closed her eyes briefly for a few seconds then looked to him once more, “but I would hoped that for a man dances so wonderfully and who smiles so brightly and beautifully... that his eyes would not appear so dead.” The last part sincerely hurt her to say.

[fille-du-temps]

Souvenirs du Passé || Ciel | Henry

       "Father?” Ciel called into the tent, “father I have returned with the herbs you asked me of me.” 

        It hadn’t been unusual for Ciel to run herb errands for her in the future, however, she had never quite understood what he used them for. Many held no medicinal value, others were even mildly poisonous; all she had ever assumed was he used them in his ‘research.’ The cleric pulled the heavy canvas aside, letting herself in. 

       "Is there anything else you require?” There was a large sprawl of bottles and viles, both empty and full before him on the table. “Er... should I just leave them here and leave you be?"

[roaming-ranger-deactivated20180]

fille-de-temps

Despite her warnings Venix found himself not being as careful as Ciel may have wished. About a week later He showed up at her door (so to speak) with a nasty cut down his arm, a black eye, scrapped up knees, and a sheepish grin. Now he was sitting down waiting as she got to work.

“So…. How are things?”

[fille-du-temps]

        To say that Ciel had been surprised when Venix called for her one evening was a huge understatement. Nearly a week had gone by since she had last spoken or even caught sight of the man, truth be told for the most part she had forgotten about their unusual initial encounter. When she saw him standing there, bruised and beat up outside her tent, the cleric could hardly recognize him as the same man she had met just seven days ago..   

        "Dear Naga!” she had exclaimed, fear evident in those red pupils of hers. It had taken her a double-take to recognize the man. 

        After close examination, she had discovered that it was most certainly the Ranger she had recently become acquainted with. Without hesitation or any considering what others may think of inviting a man into her personal quarters (for she was more concern with treating his injuries than credit-less rumors), she invited him inside and helped him settle down on her cot. The first few minutes were spent her scurrying around her tent, retrieving the herbs, potions and essential tools she would need to begin to clean him up. Once that had been taken care of, she spent the remainder of the time bent over him, carefully and very gently cleaning the wounds. By now she had become more relaxed, realizing that despite the appearance, his injuries were not life threatening.  

        "I have been quite well,” she had responded with an warm smile as she cleaned the dirt around his black eye. “Of course, that was up until a few minutes ago... you have me quite a fright, I was certain my heart would jump from my chest and bounce to the ground.”