Hire a Tall Guy™
Claire Keane

oozey mess

⁂
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
Cosmic Funnies

Kaledo Art

Discoholic 🪩
cherry valley forever
tumblr dot com
$LAYYYTER

#extradirty
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver

roma★

titsay
Not today Justin
seen from Netherlands

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia

seen from Türkiye

seen from Norway
seen from Australia

seen from Bolivia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Kosovo
seen from Kosovo

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
@filmgiant
Hire a Tall Guy™
Mad Max Fury Road (2015) Dir. George Miller
Omg so I’m at the cafe by campus and this guy came in and went to hug this chick but she went in for a fist bump
OK OMG SHE SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID “I think we should break up”
I’m legit 3 feet away from them pretending to be invested in my science book
She said “it’s not you it’s me” and before he could respond the barista called his name. It’s Bob. Poor Bob
The move was effective. The lady looks defensive
Bob has come back.
It was a few minutes of awkward silence as he took a sip of his drink. It’s the same kind as mine. Meaning he ordered Hot Chocolate
He started out with “You know, I think.” And I could hear this lady’s eyes roll. No one cares what you think Robert
FINGERS ARE FLYING. SHE POINTING AT HIM. SHIT IS GETTING REAL.
she calmed down and he legit did that thing where you steppe you fingers together in front of your mouth and take a huge breath. Bro. Leave it. It’s done. She’s too pretty for you.
He freaking snapped his fingers like he’s got this grand plan to make up for things.
She Said she still wants to be friends. She starts this by asking about his day
Apparently something bob said made her laugh.
She has not been able to say a word since she got him talking. It’s too loud in the cafe for me to make out anything even tho I’m legit behind this chick
He talking about his struggles now and how much he needs her. Run lady. Run. Run far away.
She tried to get up and his hAND SHOT OUT TO GRAB HERS
She’s literally folded in herself. Hands not going out further than the table. Limited hand movements.
Now she’s talking about her self. He doesn’t look that invested.
“well some people are bitchy” -bob
Lady does not have a drink. I don’t think she planned on being here this long.
Bob is again talking about himself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 no one cares bob.
Well he said something that made her laugh again. It sounded fake tho.
He’s talking about school. APPARENTLY HE IS A PROFESSOR
“Promiscuousness leads to disease” -Bob again.
I’m done with my hot chocolate and I don’t know if the bitter taste in my mouth is from the chocolate residue I drank or my disdain for Professor Bob.
She adjusted her chair so she’s further away
SHE GOT UP! She went to take her purse but bob said to leave and he would watch it. I think she’s headed to the bathroom.
I can’t leave! But he’s doing that voice to text thing for his phone. Talking to someone about this? Idk?
I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying by looking at his lips but I suck as this. Also where are his lips?? Bob is lipless. Further proof that lizard people exist.
I just noticed the lady left her phone in her purse.
Ok she’s coming back. She is pretty. Too pretty for Bob. But probs old enough to be my mom.
He’s talking about his students again.
She was talking and he interrupted her and she was like “I was talking” and he like flinched and he apologized. Yes queen.
“but this is why this democracy is at its purest.” Wtf Bob that doesn’t make sense
They’re talking so quietly now I can’t hear them.
“I should have said this a long time ago. But I can’t get anyone to love me” -Bob what the fuck.
“I feel like I’m projecting my self onto you” -bob once again
She’s leaving! She said something about picking up her son, Kevin, from school. Good job lady!
HOLY SHIT HES REACHING INTO HIS PANTS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
*pocket. But still.
HE PULLED OUT A RING BUT THE CHICK IS ALREADY OUT THE DOOR. OMG
OMG OMG OMG ITS A MENS RING!! HE PUT IT ON HIS HAND HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. HES PICKING UP HIS PHONE
“Hey babe, nah sorry about not answering your call. I was in a meeting with a student. I’m leaving my office now. Yeah I can pick up dinner. Is Tanner home from school yet?”
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
Fuck you bobert
this was a JOURNEY from start to finish
Game of Thrones AU: in which Joffrey is transformed into a llama and forced to travel cross-kingdom, all whilst learning the true meaning of humility and friendship
Black Mirror - Season 3
Humans. You know, we give ourselves a bad rap, but we’re genuinely empathetic as a species. I mean, we don’t actually really want to kill each other.
Armageddon is one of the few DVDs I didn’t sell because Ben Affleck on the commentary track is relentless. Below is the clip of the commentary from where this tidbit of trivia came from. Please take a moment to witness the magic.
this is so fucking funny
“aim the drill at the ground and turn it on”
“it’s just a parking lot”
exactly. there’s nothing there. not a statue. not a plaque. nothing.
[drives over hitler’s death site]
Bloody amazing.
And you know what’s right next to it?
That’s right, the Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden, which translates to the Memorial for the murdered jews.
So if you wanna go have a look at the monument commemorating the victims of Hitler’s regime, you can park your car right on the spot he died and walk there.
Makes ya think, doesn’t it?
Famous children’s author Roald Dahl was surrounded by his family when he died. His last words were almost, “You know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much” -but he fell unconscious for a time, a nurse came in to ease his passing by injecting him with morphine, and when the needle pricked his skin, he muttered “Ow, fuck!” just before dying. Source Source 2
when you thought you was good then that anxiety hit
when you finally get over that anxiety but then that depression hit
when they both hit you at the same time
For his photo project ‘3 Glasses,’ photographer Marcos Alberti took 4 portraits of his subjects: one before, and one after each of 3 successive glasses of wine. Source
There is a saying about wine that I really like and it’s something like this “The first glass of wine is all about the food, the second glass is about love, and the third glass is about mayhem.” I really wanted to see it for myself if that affirmation was in fact true.
Marcos Alberti Photography
“If you can accept that condition then let us be together and enjoy each other.” 3x08 - “To the Gates!” vs 4x05 - “Promise”
This is the most revealing adult humor joke about masturbation you may find on a Nickelodeon show like Fairly Odd Parents.
When I first saw heard this I couldn’t stop laughing.
When two worlds collide.