Final Terms

24. law. india. used to be academia. now i sell my soul for money in a corporate law firm. always up for giving/receiving gyaan

[lake-lady]

Glorifying being thin and young won't save you from aging and dying

[meanbuddhist]

i have got to give up the desire to be understood. lol

[finalterms]

Did something different - sharpners werent doing it anymore, i've ordered proper steel shaving blades. I guess this means im officially relapsing and im actually getting worse, but it doesnt feel like it. This feels good.

[dogpuppy]

[andjeeo-deactivated20260218]

the feeling of never being enough will always haunt me no matter what

[loveridden1999]

for smth good to happen to me i have to believe smth good CAN happen to me

[sad-gay-loser]

Born to have an arm full of scars, forced to be “normal” and “a functioning member of society”

[finalterms]

Was driving through central new delhi today and noticed the russian embassy is right next to the Canadian high commission teehehehe

[finalterms]

Watching heated rivarly and i can't help but think about how much Michelangelo would have enjoyed this. Not the smut, but just appreciation for mlm romance, told honestly. That, and those two hunks, of course. But there's a peace maybe he would have felt and appreciated. Certainly see him making sculpture as fanart.

And yet, notwithstanding how much he would have enjoyed it, I wonder if he would also feel the sadness that I feel when watching it. Knowing deep down that maybe such love will only be a fantasy, because in any world, in any timeline, its not easy to find or accept love as someone on the spectrum. Would he also feel that ever present loneliness rise to the surface, would he only cry a bit from the helplessness

[imightexplodesoon]

being fat while growing up convinced my mind that i am fundamentally unlovable and that my existence is gross, unwanted, and hated

[finalterms]

Lol spent 40 mins with my mom in her first visit to me in a year and no surprise im here again :))) nothing like a conversation with your mom to get the thoughts going

Man, ive forgotten how good relapse feels. It feels warmer than my mom's attempt at bonding, at least

[echoesofsaturn]

as my final act of love, I will swallow every "please stay" and turn it into silence so you don't feel trapped by my ache

[homunculus-argument]

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".

[perpetualdissociation]

One of the biggest stresses (for me) from having multiple mental disorders is that every time I wake, every time I shift; from hearing a song, seeing a picture, hearing a conversation, being exposed to a personal trigger of any kind, is that I have to learn how to act/live as a different person. I hold the same moral concepts and care for the same people, but my perspective is totally warped, my outlook on life, my hobbies, attractions, energy level, motivation, patience, emotional endurance, and base level emotion totally vary, so I am constantly shifting through my thoughts, taking extra long, deep breaths to think before I act and speak, because with each shift I’m more inclined to instinctively act positively or negatively to every situation I face. With each shift I have to find new reasons to keep breathing, to keep moving, to keep doing because with each shift there are different aspirations and apathy regarding everything in existence, a constant flux from manic and passionate to dismal and obsessive compulsively dissecting every concept of purpose until I find no purpose at all. Every shift begs me to act a different way, for different reasons, and no matter the shift, I want to stand by the same morals and I want to give everyone I love the same care and attention as before, as they deserve, but each shift demands more time and more effort to find reasoning and purpose in fulfilling that moral obligation, because each shift is so different than the one before I will never be able to rest from searching for new reasons to do what is right. A constant power struggle to be who I am, and it’s getting exponentially difficult and painful to force my brain to let me be who I am.

On top of the mental struggle are the chronic migraines and whole body tension aches, which are both more insult to injury than anything.

But the one thing that lets me rest the slightest is knowing that it will pass, it may get more difficult tomorrow, more painful the day after, maybe excruciating a week after that, but eventually, my chemicals will give me momentary relief and I will be allowed to cherish the pleasures of life and human/animal connections again. And I will hold those moments with me when the negative shifts come rolling back, so I can remind myself why it’s worth it to keep going.

[lackadaisycal-art]

Happy "The Bear Season 4" to all those who celebrate 🐻🐻🐻

[honeylemony]

The most inconvenient truth is that men do misogyny because they get something from it. They get labor from intimate partners, they get social capital in their public circles, they get the benefit of the doubt, they get default respect and promotions and people listening to them and people afraid of them.

[honeylemony]

"" oh he did xyz because he's traumatized"" ""he was a monster bc he was misunderstood""

He did it because he benefitted.

[irenexana]

Do I have to die to be loved?