TW/CW: mention of grooming and unhealthy relationships. This post may seem offensive to some people, therefore, if you are an avid fan of dickbabs, scroll through or refrain from negative comments.
Also, English is not my native language and for the most part I use a translator, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
I don't want to incite hatred, I don't want to hear that I'm just an "aggressive dickkory fan." I never intended to write this post here, but lately I've been feeling really bad.
At the age of 13, I was groomed by an adult woman. I didn't realize it for a very long time (almost 5 years). I never thought that it was a traumatic experience for me. I realized this very recently, a few months ago, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Every time I see Dickbabs, it brings me back to what I've been through. Every time I see encouragement from people in the fandom, I get a stronger sense of how much people ignore violence when it comes from a woman. I love Barbara with all my heart. I see myself in her, and the kind of character she's being made into really hurts me. Both Dick and Barbara are very close to me. And I just can't look at them together, knowing the history of their appearance.
I don't hate dickbabs because I love dickkory. I'm cool with other pairing with Dick and Kory (unless it's a batcest or another darkship). I have friends who love birdflash or donnakory, and I absolutely support them. It's not that I like diccori, but that I find dickbabs problematic. I just can't understand why we are so calm about literal propaganda? Barbara was always older than Dick. They weren't the same age and shouldn't have been. "But her age has been changed!" that doesn't make the situation any better?? The very fact that people initially saw a couple in a CHILD Dick and an ADULT Barbara, and then simply changed her age to make her relationship with Dick "legal", it is already embarrassing. This is not an excuse for the relationship between an adult woman and a child, but also a misogyny towards Barbara. Seriously, why does everyone care so much about the fact that the age of the female character was changed ONLY for a relationship with a man? Why are we okay with this? if the situation were the opposite, no one would ignore. If Dick had been older than Barbara initially, and then his age had been crushed under her, dickbabs would not have been treated so calmly, and it WOULD HAVE BEEN the RIGHT THING to DO. I don't blame those people who ship dickbabs and don't know how this pair originated. But those who know. What? Why? I really don't understand. I repeat, it's not that I like diccori. I wouldn't have a problem if Barbara wasn't originally older than Dick. If the writers hadn't changed the canon, the important canon, just to make Dick and Barbara's relationship look perfect. If Dick hadn't been turned into a womanizer and a cheater who always loved "only Barbara," and the rest of the girls (including Kory) "just fell into his arms and comforted." If only Barbara hadn't been made a misogynist who insults other women for their looks simply because they had a relationship with Dick. If only Bruce hadn't been made a xenophobe just to make us believe in dickbabs. If Barbara hadn't been given back her ability to walk just for Dick's sake. If only Kory hadn't been made into "just an exotic chick who's fun to lose your virginity with." If Dick hadn't been humiliated in this relationship. If only Barbara hadn't been humiliated. If Kory hadn't been humiliated. I can handle it if Dick and Kory don't get together. But I don't want to turn a blind eye to the fact that Dick and Barbara are together. It hurts and triggers me personally, as a victim of violence, the same violence that Barbara's violence against Dick was when their couple first appeared. I don't blame Barbara. I love her, and I wish her the best. She's just a victim of misogynistic male writers with fetishes. I want Barbara to have her disability, glasses, and independence. It should be written by a woman.
Dickbabs is just a way to tie Dick back to Gotham and batfam. This is a "safe" pairing of an obedient white boy and an obedient white girl. You can write as much as you want about how Barbara insults Dick when he feels bad, or how Dick cheats – anyway, in the end you can just say that "they always come back to each other" and everyone will just eat it up. I know that diccori is still more popular and sought after by fans than diccabs. but over the past few days, I've come across TOO MUCH content and people who approve of dickbabs and think they're "overhated," and that really upset me. my problem is that the DC themselves continue to promote this couple to us (not in the healthiest ways) and that the audience just agrees. Most people hate dickbabs simply because they like dickkory more, or just because of misogyny. But not because dickbabs are REALLY problematic.
I didn't want to write this. I don't want to get an answer like, "you're just an aggressive dickkory fan, you should be more respectful of other people and their tastes, why do you even care?" But I care. I care about normalizing relationships like dickbabs. I don't want to be silent anymore.
Consider it a cry from the soul. I really hope to be understood.
I also hope that my poor English did not prevent you from understanding me.
(PS: I did not attach to the post the evidence of my words about the problematic panels from comics, because the post is so huge. But you can read about it on the @thefreetruth's account if you are interested)
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