Fi-Ne Conversations

In which I (INFP) may post random pieces of dialogue with my friends.

[fineconversations]

INFP: I am very shy.

Also INFP: "You're so cute. What a pretty face for me to sit on."

[fineconversations]

INFP: I don't really care much about pride month.

Also INFP: *casually wears bi-pride earrings, bi-pride t-shirt, bi-pride button badge, wears eyeliner with three different colours,*

INFP: ...I got these with a discount in November,...

[fineconversations]

INFJ: I personally think everybody is essentially bisexual by default. I don't get why there would be any restrictions on gender.

INFP: I get your point, but that's not quite true!

INFJ (bantering): How come? WHEN YOU HAVE VANILLA ICE CREAM AND CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM AND YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO EAT BOTH FLAVOURS, WHY WOULDN'T YOU??

INFP: Of course I would, INFJ! But LISTEN! Not everyone likes vanilla, and not everyone likes chocolate!

INFJ: *shocked* BLASPHEMY

INFP: ...SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE ANY OF THOSE... AND PREFER... STRAWBERRY

INFJ: :0 THAT'S GOOD TOO

INFP: SOME PEOPLE DON'T EVEN LIKE ICE CREAM AT ALL INFJ. SOME PEOPLE ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT

INFJ: !!! W-what about those lactose-free ice creams??

INFP: SOME PEOPLE CAN'T EAT SUGAR BECAUSE OF DIABETES AND SHIT. SOME PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT ICE CREAM AT ALL AND WOULD RATHER HAVE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD. SOME PEOPLE LIKE LOTS OF FLAVOURS AND PILE THEM ALL ON TOP OF A CONE. OTHERS DON'T EVEN WANT A CONE THEY EAT IT FROM A CUP WITH A SPOON etc etc

INFJ: I am mind-blow with the way you pick my metaphors and turn into a whole array of things that I didn't even think of

INFP: Does this feel like I just expanded your horizons or something, INFJ?

INFJ: YES

[cultoftypology]

you’ve heard of sugar, spice and everything nice

now get ready for…

Dominant Function

Fe - an insatiable thirst for attention

Se - party rock

Ne - an overwhelming surplus of diggity

Te - sadism

Fi - self-loathing

Si - that summertime, fall, wintertime, springtime sadness

Ni - the inevitable and irreversible heat death of the universe

Ti - nihilism

Auxiliary Function

Fe - codependent relationships

Se - the aesthetic

Ne - a fair amount of diggity

Te - strategy games

Fi - tarot cards

Si - terms and conditions

Ni - vision boards

Ti - constantly hurting people’s feelings

Tertiary Function

Fe - social manipulation

Se - the finer things in life

Ne - hardly any diggity

Te - bitchin

Fi - tragic backstory

Si - obscure obsessions

Ni - freakishly accurate hunches

Ti - some common sense

Inferior Function

Fe - moral flexibility

Se - unexplained bruises

Ne - no diggity

Te - angry crying

Fi - corporate slavory

Si - chaos

Ni - dystopian nightmares 

Ti - drama

[queensofbitchery]

the inevitable and irreversible heat death of the universe

strategy games

tragic backstory

unexplained bruises

i’m dead. me in a nutshell.

[chisanto]

Self-loathing

Obscure obsessions

And a fair amount of diggity (: (: (:

These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little INFP. But <LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES> accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction…

… Angry Crying

[fineconversations]

[Detailed architectural description of surroundings]... and that was where I fed a squirrel and the little shit bit me TWICE. Because I'm twice as a dumbass as the average human being.

INFP’s travelling journal (Feb ‘18)

[fineconversations]

I'm just not a good photographer, so instead of trying to take Good Pics, I simply take informational pics of my surroundings, hoping the camera catches something my eyes didn't.

INFP’s travelling journal (Feb ‘18)

[fineconversations]

ISTJ: I want to see important characters actually dying because it's realistic to me / It's very likely that this thing will happen to this one because I read about the actor's contract and stuff, also this happened in the book, so that one is gonna die/live, which is good/boring / My fave? Oh right yeah they could die but here are marketing-based reasons for why they probably won't / *character dies* Niiice *actually claps in the movie theater*

INTP: I want to see important characters dying, my fave included if necessary / Actually it would be awesome if my fave died in this, this or that way, tear my heart apart, rip me to pieces, make me feel miserable hahaha / I don't want to spoil myself with contracts or book references nope :') / Glad we agree your fave should die as well HAAHAHA they could suck turds outta my ass c:

INFP: I don't care about most characters' deaths or fates except when I do, which is rare and unexpected / My fave gives me problems and if they are going to die, the planets must align in a specific position so it happens in a certain way. Actually sometimes idk if I want my fave to die. Oh gods why dis / Thinking about it makes me want to hang myself because I just know it won't happen like this / I almost forgot there were more characters besides my fave untill I realized he only fills like 10 minutes of screen time wow

ISFJ: NO ONE SHOULD EVER DIE EVER, EVERYBODY SHOULD JUST LIVE THEIR LIVES AND GO ON DOING THEIR THINGS NO MATTER WHAT / SPECIALLY THE CHILDREN PLEASE LET THE CHILDREN LIVE / OMG NOT THAT ONE FUCK'S SAKE THESE ARE THE TEARS OF A MOTHER / I'M GOING TO DRIVE MY CAR AGAINST THOSE STUDIOS AND RUN IT OVER EVERYBODY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HOW DARE T H E Y I'M SO M A D F UCK

[fineconversations]

INFP: *makes a stupid mistake in a game* Ah, fml, what did I expect. Dumbass. It's MY fault because I'M a dumbass. Who the hell would do this. Aw well, let's just... erase this from my memory and pretend it didn't happen lol bye bitch

-A few days later-

INTP: *coincidentally makes same mistake in the same game* OMFG INFP THIS SHIT JUST HAPPENED AND I JUST KJSHDFKAJS

INFP: *BSOD's really hard* LOL OH GODS WHAT WAHTS HFBKJF THAT'S SO STUPID BECAUSE I DID THE EXACT SAME SHIT AND IT WOULD NEVER FUCKING OCCUR TO ME YOU MIGHT COMMIT THE SAME FUCKING MISTAKE THE EXACT SAME WAY LIKE, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASJKDFHHB I should have warned you beforehand. lol fuck

INTP: What WHY, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME SO YES INDEED, BUT THEN WHYYY THE FUUUUCKKKKK

INFP: IDK MAN I'D NEVER GUESSED IT, but now I suppose great minds think alike or some shit :'v

INTP: Welp, let's just blame it on the game because the game is fucking stupid

INFP: Yeah man like why the fuck would they do it like this

-And then both agreed on dissing the game-

[fineconversations]

Anyone: So what is your thesis about?

Me, a high Ne user:

[fineconversations]

How I follow recipes

What is written: FLUFFY SCRAMBLED EGGS FOR TWO: 5 Large eggs; 1/2 tsp salt; 10G unsalted butter; 1/5 tsp freshly ground white pepper; 30ml milk (optional); In a small bowl, beat the eggs with the salt clockwise for 45 seconds or untill (......) Season with pepper and serve.

What I read: SCRAMBLED EGGS: some fucking eggs obvsly, a pinch of salt (in case you remember, no biggie), butter or olive oil or any other fat I have nearby... wtf is a tsp anyway... whatever pepper I have, which is surely black, durr milk nope thx. Durrrrr AND ALSO OREGANO BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT. Actually I'm gonna mix butter AND olive oil. And onions too. I'll fry them in olive oil, add some herbs, and then the butter and the eggs. ANYWAY Beat in a bowl, etc, tralala (.....) Eat from the pan and spare yourself to the dish-washing. Alright, looks easy. *closes tab, never looks at it ever again, does the cooking*

[fineconversations]

INFP (learning about instinctual variants): I think I might be sp-dom because *hits against a random place and gets hurt* I'm all about self-preservation and *showers with cold water because gas bill wasn't payed* I think I can handle surviving with basic human needs *befriends a stranger* and I trust no-one *almost gets hit by a car* I am aware of my weaknesses in dealing with my surroundings so I am extremely careful *is constantly broke* I try to save money and make plans *college tuition is overdue* ... *hits head against random places 5 times a day* ... *makes do with just about anything* ... *postpones worrying about important things* ...

INFP (reading on what sp is about): nvm I'm sp-blind lol

[fineconversations]

xgyara reblogged your chat and added: “Someone INFP cares about: *feels sad, stressed, etc and vents* INFP,...”

Wait, so you’re telling me other INFP don’t go...

That happens with me too. Except my jokes are usually 3/4 bad actually. But I guess we don’t always react the same way, do we? We process them internally indeed, sometimes it just feels automatic, but there may be times when the system crashes and we just go like... “fuck it, I haven’t washed my face in a while anyway so wtv”. Whacha say?

[fineconversations]

Someone INFP cares about: *feels sad, stressed, etc and vents*

INFP, who's perfecly fine: *sheds tears* fuck

INFP: what are you doing brain, these emotions aren't even mine, and nOW I'M CRYING BECAUSE?? :'U

Brain: They are, now. You know why.

INFP: Ok?? Thanks, I look pathetic now and the other person will think I'm a fragile wimp and won't ever vent to me again becAUSE THIS IS NOT HELPING THEM EVEN

Brain: Hmmm, good point, here's "I'm sorry, this is ridiculous of me" playing on repeat now, maybe it will help

INFP: ...wow

INFP, on the outside: I'm sorry, this is ridiculous of me, like,...

[fineconversations]

I can't Fi with this

INFP, when something doesn’t feel right

[fineconversations]

INFP: *farts inside ISTJ's car* gASP omg did you hear this?? :0 :0 :0

ISTJ: YEAH. I HEARD IT.

INFP: Your car seats are in need of repair, this one in particular just made this really strange noise...

ISTJ: M-HM, WEIRD HUH.

INFP: Maybe it's broken...

ISTJ: YEAH, BROKEN.

INFP: I fear for my safety, you need to fix this...

ISTJ: You're the one who needs to be fixed.

[fineconversations]

INFP and INTP pass by a man walking his dog. Dog walks towards INFP. INFP pets dog happily.

Man: Hahaha she just can't resist it haha

INFP: *awkwardly* INDEED I surely can't resist this haha *keeps petting untill dog and owner leave*

INFP: Hahaha oh man the dog is so adorable even the owner joked about me insta-petting it, I'm such a dog-creep ait lol

INTP: He was referring to the dog, not you. Apparently she runs to other people for pets, that's what he said afterwards.

INFP:

INFP: :'D

[fineconversations]

when I get mansplained during a Te-grip