Christmas/Winter Starters:
âGuess who signed us up to go Christmas caroling?â
âSorry, itâs not me, itâs the eggnog.â
âDonât get mad, but I think I set the Christmas tree on fire.â
âWhat must Santa have been smoking to think his reindeer can talk?â
âIf me and Santa got into a fight, who do you think would win?â
âI guess someoneâs not getting any use out of that slutty Santa outfit they bought.â
âAll in saying is no one would catch us if we chopped down a tree.â
âI tried to buy one of those singing Santas but I spilled water on it and now it sounds demonic.â
âYou know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.â
âPleaseeee? Nobody else wants to play Santa!!â
âI forgot how much work gingerbread houses were..â
âDonât tell me this is your first hot chocolate?!â
âI swear if Frosty the Snowman doesnât melt in the next five minutes, Iâm shutting it off.â
âUmm just so you know, Iâm kind of stuck in the Christmas lights.â
âLooks like youâre getting coal this year.â
âI just took an online quiz and it said I was on the Naughty List!! If it was you I could see it, but not me!â
âAre you seriously crying over Rudolph..?â Â
âWeâre not watching Hallmark Christmas movies.â
âCancel all your plans! Weâre watching Hallmark Christmas movies!â Â Â
âWhat the hell kind of Charlie Brown Christmas tree did you buy?â
âI lit the fire because I want to make sure Santa knows whoâs boss when he comes down that chimney.â Â
âWhat did you ask for this Christmas?â
âWill you help me go Christmas shopping?â
âHave you seriously never eaten a candy cane?â
âIs there some kind of old woman shop where they sell those weird Christmas trees made of strawberry candy?â Â
âHey, I bought a paint your own ornament kit. Letâs make some!â
âIs this your first time getting/giving a present?â
âI just called to tell you Merry Christmas!â
âWill you drive around with me to look at the Christmas lights?â
âPlease stop singing Christmas songs.â
âWhy arenât you singing along to the Christmas carols?â
âIf you ring those dumb jingle bells one more time, I will wring your neck.â
âOh my god is that a mistletoe..?â
âWhat kind of Christmas would it be if we didnât play in the snow?â Â

















