keep going

If you're going through hell, keep going. There's no one that can stop you other than your own motivation.

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

Hearing his voice crack as he spoken only made her chest ache more. Once she would have loved to hear him sound so broken, maybe when he’d first said goodbye to her, but now it only made her want to reach out and cradle the blonde boy in her arms. She loved Finn, truly loved him with every ounce of love she had to give, but she couldn’t just forget the last few months with a simple I’m sorry and brush of his thumb against her cheek. She held her breath as he rested his head against hers, willing herself to look away from his eyes and instead focus on her bare legs that peaked out from underneath her shirt. “I don’t care.” She managed to say in a small voice. Reaching up to cup her hand over his, Greta finally took a step back as she broke from his embrace. “I can’t do this, Finn. I can’t just─take you back as if nothing ever happened. Why would I? So you can just fuck off and do it again?”

[finley-gray]

"Because that’s what love is.” He answered, his hand dropping to his side and hanging there limply. “Its making mistakes and going to the ends of the earth to fix even when you know you shouldn’t be forgiven. Its the tears on your pillow when we’re apart and the way your eyes just light up when we see each other again.” He stepped back and bit down hard on his lip, not wanting to cry anymore, he wanted to tell her everything in his head but he was struggling to put all of it into words. 

“Its not about finding a perfect person who you’d never fight with or upset you but its me, its the person who has always wiped away your tears and has come back no matter what. I was broken after you left me in Paris but the moment you came back I needed to hold you in my arms again, I constantly feared you leaving me but I refused to believe that you might.” He dug through his pockets and pulled out a folded paper with an address written on it. “I love you so much. I’d not do that to you ever again, it was the worst thing I could have done.” Holding the paper out for her, he gave her a tired smile slipping it into her fingers and taking a step away from the door. “Its my address and phone number, I’m staying at my sisters right now while I.. get back on my feet. I know I shouldn’t have just turned up.” 

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

Greta wanted nothing more than to shove him away, to step out of his embrace and slam the door in his face, to run where she couldn’t be found and be left alone with her breaking heart. She didn’t like the way her body gave into his, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as the tears fell against his chest. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” She attempted to say in a wavering voice, she couldn’t let herself choke out the sobs that wanted to spill, instead she stood silently crying into his shirt as she shook hear head. “I can’t─I can’t do this again, Finley.” She moved in his embrace, forcing herself to take a step back, pressing her palms against his chest to put some space between the two since she couldn’t think of anything other than pressing her lips to his when he was this close to her. “I don’t want to this anymore, Finley. We had our chance…this is done. We’ve been done.” Her voice barely above a whisper now as she looked down and caught her bottom lip between her teeth.

[finley-gray]

"No." He forced his voice to sound stronger than it actually was, his hand coming up to lift her chin so she was looking at him one more time. He ignored the tears on his cheeks but instead wiped hers away with his thumb as he studied her face, able to see the pain he caused over the years. "If you had meant that, if you truly meant that we didn't have a chance you would have slammed that door without a moment of even talking to me. I know I have fucked up Grets, but I still love you and I know that you still have feelings for me." Brushing back a few strands of hair, Finn stepped closer to her and rested his forehead against hers, feeling the fight leave his body. "I'm so sorry." 

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

Those words were the only three words she had dreamed about for months. There’d be a time where had wished with everything she had to have the scene that was currently unfolding before her. She had missed him, so much that it would make her chest ache and her tears would make her entire frame tremble as she sobbed into her pillows. Finn had been the only boy she’d ever loved, more than she loved anything else in the world and when he left even breathing proved to be too much of a difficult task on her own. She hated seeing him like this, his tears strolling down his cheeks and her fingertips itching to take a step forwarded and wipe them from his face. She wanted to take his face in her hands and press her lips to his and tell him everything would be forgotten but it wasn’t that easy. 

"It’s not enough." She said softly, looking down at the boy who once had her heart in the palm of his hand only to set it down and walk away. "You can’t just apologize with a diamond and few words and expect me to just forget." Her voice cracked towards the end, her own vision blurring as she felt the tears sting in her hazel eyes. "Things are different─you broke my heart, Finn." There was a part of her that felt hypocritical even saying those words when she had done the same to him. But she’d been a child then, barely 16 and still trying to sort through her feelings. Finn had known she loved him, she had said it to him daily, he was everything to her and he knew it when he chose to walk away. "I’m sorry but I can’t just─" Her words were cut off by a hiccup, her body shrinking as she wrapped an arm around her delicate frame. "I can’t just forget." 

[finley-gray]

His eyes were rimmed red when he finally lifted them to look at her, his chest tightening as he felt like he was unable to breathe. "I know." He choked on his words and dropped his eyes back to his hands. When realizing his world had been ripped from his hands, Finn went into a state of shock, he wouldn't talk to his friends, his family or even turn up to the shows that he had contracted himself into. He had once fought so hard for Greta and lost her in an instant, one decision which changed everything was one that he had regretted from the day he chose. 

His head shot up when he heard her voice break, his own tears and pain forgotten when he realised the pain he was causing her. Shakily getting back on his feet, he took a cautious step toward her before finding his feet and striding toward her. He should have respected the space she wanted but he needed the embrace as much as she did and wrapped his arms around her, one arm wrapped around her torso while the second had his hand stroking her hair, a motion he hadn't been able to do in months. "I broke my own heart as well." He mumbled in her hair, squeezing the tears from his eyes. "I can't turn back time, but I regret everything. I regret not phoning you when I should have, regret not forcing you to move with me, regret breaking your heart every single day. I fell in love with you the day you gave me that chance and I hate myself more than anyone ever could." His voice was strained by now, the lump in his throat becoming less bearable before he had to give up and just allow the rest of his tears to escape, tightening the hug he had with Greta which was the only thing keeping him on his feet. 

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

It was alarming what time could do to a person, what it could do to one’s feelings. In the beginning there were days where Greta wanted nothing more than to see him showing up on her doorstep. She imagined what it would be like to hear him say her name and what it would feel like to wrap her arms around his neck as he spoke her name over and over into her curls. She had wanted it all, stumbling over furniture as she tore away what seperated the warmth of his skin against hers. She had wanted nothing more than to forget the time when they hadn’t been together. But as the days went by she found herself willing those thoughts away. One month in she hated him. Two months in she loathed. Three months in and she wished to never have to see his face again. This was a result of his silence and now what had once tugged at her heart strings made her seethe with anger. As he handed her the box and small parchment, she felt a heavy weight sink into the pit of her stomach, riding up her throat and making her tongue feel thick, watery, as if she could vomit at any given second. 

Her own curiosity was always something that she struggled with and while she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to see what was in the letter, she didn’t want to give him any of the satisfaction. “No, I don’t care about your letter and I don’t care about your diamonds.” Her bottom lip trembled with her words as she forced herself to look away. “I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t want to read anything. I don’t want anything. Not from you. Not anymore.” Her voice growing smaller as she crossed her arms over her chest and took a step back.

[finley-gray]

"Greta please." He begged her, his voice breaking as the tears finally ran down his cheeks after months of him keeping them in "I love you Greta please don't do this, please read this." He croaked, his eyes flicking down to the letter as he desperately tried to wipe the tears away, but to no avail. Over the months he was away from her, Finn had come to his senses and constantly reprimanded himself for leaving Greta, punishing himself for being so stupid as to leave her for a part on a stage. He refused to go out some nights but rather just nurse a bottle or two of whiskey while staring at the TV which never showed him what he wanted to see.  If his sister hadn't found him when she had, he would have probably poisoned his body and mind with the whiskey but she had taken it from him and filled his nights with his niece instead, replacing her with the whiskey so he found that little piece of happiness that he had lost.

As Greta took another step back into her apartment, Finn felt the tears roll down his cheeks even worse than before but he pulled his sleeve over his hand so he would be able to use it to wipe them away from his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Stepping back himself he went back to the staircase but couldn't find the strength to stand anymore. Falling onto the wall, Finn sat down against it and bit down on his knuckles, not wanting to make a sound while he was there, he felt so weak and even more broken than he had felt before going there. He felt like a small boy again, trying to hide away when his stage fright hit, trying to find the smallest hole to fit himself in so he wouldn't have to deal with the day.

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

Hearing him say her name after not hearing it for the last couple of years nearly knocked the wind out of her, she stumbled back, gripping to the door to keep herself from crumbling down. She didn’t like hearing his voice, she had nearly drank herself into a coma almost every night trying to forget it all and now he was back without even so much as a warning. The silenced stretched on between them and Greta didn’t know what to say, there were no words to form on her tongue, no solid thoughts that could leave the deep confinements of her mind, she couldn’t seem to fully grasp what was going on. She pulled the door open a bit more, allowing more of the cool air to hit her exposed skin, soothing her heated frame.

"Finley─" She breathed, barely even audible over the sound of a passing car. She didn’t know what to say but when he finally spoke, she found herself feeling angry. Two years later and he was finally back, standing on her front steps finally admitting that he’d made a mistake. She had never asked him to quit for her, she simply wanted to be more involved, to be taken into consideration before he jumped into whatever offer was being placed before him. It was the only thing she’d wanted and now he was back finally saying the words she’d only daydreamed about. "What?" She spoke again, the anger now visible in her voice. She knew it wasn’t fair to suddenly feel this angry about it, not when it had been her to walk away last time, but last time they had been children and now? Now things were different. Her hand moved to the door once again, going in to close it before he continued to speak again. "What are you doing here? Did you think that you could show up here and say a few things  and I’d be running back into your arms? What’s the point of all this? I never asked you to quit─you need to leave."

[finley-gray]

He didn't like the way she called him by his full name, it was as if they were strangers again, like the time they spent with one another meant nothing. He knew that this was Greta that he was talking to, probably one of the stubbornest girls he'd ever encountered in his 22 years but none the less, the only one he'd loved. In his back pocket was a letter and a jewelry box he'd taken a while to find, or rather put together. Looking up at Greta, Finn bit down on his bottom lip and he just wanted to reach out and hug her, wrap his arm around her and just pull her into his embrace so he could show her things would be okay even though nothing seemed like it. 

"Grets, please." He spoke, stepping forward so he could stop her from closing the door. "I was a selfish bastard and I can't make up for the two years, I know this." He sighed and slowly brought out the two gifts he had for her. The letter he'd spent days writing, he could never get it right at first, he wanted to tell her just how much she meant to him, that he was sorry for everything and he hoped there was a chance for them but if not, he wanted them to be friends. She meant too much for him to let go. "I wrote this, please just read it." He begged her, looking into her eyes before bringing out the second, a jewelry box. "I once promised you all the diamonds in the world, I tried Greta, I really tried, but I managed to get one from nearly every continent." Placing the box in her hands, Finn just gave her a sad smile before slowly stepping backwards. "I'm sorry. I'll go." He ran his hands through his hair and tried to will away the tears which were already running down his cheeks. 

[finley-gray]

love like woe

[gretamorgensen]

The clock on her bedside table had stopped working sometime around 12:34 pm. With a groan Greta pushed the covers back, her black shirt riding up to her ribs as she ran her fingers through her tousled hair. Her head felt heavy and her mouth dry, throat burning when she reached for the bottle of what she thought to be water only to spit it back up when the taste of vodka hit her tongue. She hadn’t remember what time she’d gotten back last night, or early morning, she wasn’t sure which it had been but she remembered coming home with a friend or two, both of which were nowhere to be found now. Lately it felt like every night ended up like this, dancing until she couldn’t anymore, drowning out everything the world dare throw at her, stumbling drunk out of whatever New York City club offered to have her there for the night. She blinked back a couple of times as she moved towards the window of her Manhattan brownstone apartment, as she expected the sun had already set which meant it had to be around 6 or maybe even 7. 

She made her way down the stairs, legs peeking out from the black shirt that stopped mid-thigh, a gift from some band she had seen a couple weeks back. It was far too big and made her look smaller than she really was. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she stopped for a brief moment to take in her reflection, hair a mess and mascara still dusted on her cheek, she reached up to rub it away a little too hard as she made herself wince. Seconds later she heard the knocking a door. Without any hesitation the girl moved towards the door, expecting it to be a friend who had left something behind. It was her expectations that made her brush past the door without bothering to look through the curtained glass.

Still in a half sleepy daze, she pulled the door open with words already on her tongue. It wasn’t until she took in the person standing on her porch that she felt her stomach drop into the pit of her stomach. Instantly the girl took a step back and slammed the door, fingers shaking as she brought them up to curl into the fabric at her chest. Her breathing grew heavy, taking another step closer to the door before pulling it open once more. “Finley?” His name tumbled from her lips in a gasp as she pulled the door close to her, unsure if she wanted to shut it once again.

[finley-gray]

Finn didn't know what to expect when he knocked on Greta's door, he definitely didn't expect her to run into his arms though he did hope that she would. When the door was shut in his face, Finn felt as if his heart broke but kept his head up even though he felt like hiding. He had turned to walk away when the door opened again, his breath catching in his throat. Turning his head back round to meet Greta's eyes, he let his lips pull up into a lopsided smile and cocked his head toward her as he did so. "Hey Greta." He replied softly, not wanting to jump in at the deep end if there would be no one to pull him back out. 

Just by looking at her, he knew he had made the wrong decision by leaving her, this was the girl who he had sacrificed so much for and he threw that away. He wanted to know if she still had the ring he bought her, promising himself to her those years ago when everything was going right. They had fought back then over the most trivial matters but they would have buried it hours later when one of them, mostly Finn, apologized. He knew neither would be able to bury the hatchet that quickly now but he wished he could do something to make things better. 

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Finn stared down at the floor before finally getting the courage to look Greta in the eye once more. "I quit." He told her, wanting her to know exactly why he was there. "I've quit the stage, I made a mistake Greta, the biggest and worst mistake in my life. I should never have chosen the stage over you." 

[finley-gray]

love like woe

Time always flies when you forget that you're actually against the clock, that was the one thing Finn found when he was sat on the subway with his hands clenched so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. He had just visited his sister and niece, the bracelet she had made him still secured around his wrist. He was a sucker for his niece, now nearing the age of three, the toddler had him wrapped around her little finger. He let out a breath and looked down at the note in his hand which had an address scrawled on it. 

His leg shook the entire subway journey, giving away just how nervous he was, it had been two years after all. He had never wanted it to get like this, he still sent her messages but there was no reply to any of them. He just needed to see her again. Getting off the subway, he began to make the journey to her house, stopping in front of a window so that he'd be able to sort his hair out and pull the jacket tighter around him. Walking up the stairs, Finn cautiously walked up to her apartment and lifted his hand to know, freezing for a minute before eventually knocking. He just hoped Greta was in. 

[bittersweetrph-blog]

[trinitygracegray]

I love you, you know that?

[finley-gray]

I love you too

[trinitygracegray]

You meant some of those things, Fin. Don’t tell me you didn’t.

[finley-gray]

I was angry, Trin, all that anger was directed at you but all meant for our parents, I forgave you years and years ago, you're my older sister, I wouldn't want anyone else to even try to take your place.

[trinitygracegray]

I…I don’t want to.

[finley-gray]

Then don't!

[trinitygracegray]

Do you think the boat will take us to New Zealand?

[finley-gray]

I don't know.. please don't leave Trinity

[finley-gray]

We're finally going home!

[gracelouisethomas-deactivated20]

sweetest goodbye | finn and grace

Grace needed her things from the hut. In the past few days she’d spent as little time there as possible, only going in to sleep really. After running into Greta that day, she was more determined than ever to keep her distance. However if she was going to sleep in one of the other huts tonight, she wanted to keep her bag with her. Walking in, she headed straight across the room and started putting her things into her carry on bag, only noticing Finn when she span around to leave again. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.” This week had strengthened her, removing some of the uncertainty from her voice. Grace had had enough now of being manipulated and having her feeling disregarded.. And it showed.

[finley-gray]

Finn needed a day away from everything so decided to stay in the hut most of the day, allowing himself one lazy day where he did next to nothing, something which he would usually hate doing. He'd been drifting in and out of sleep most of the day but woke up when hearing the door open, Finn couldn't work out who it was out of Grace and Greta and unsure of who he would have preferred. "Oh, Grace, its you." Finn spoke, a yawn escaping his lips as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. "Its alright, I've been asleep most of the day."

[finley-gray]

moonlight sonata // finn&greta

[margaretmorgensen]

Hearing him blame it all on the girl who had sent them off to the wrong island only seemed to add to her anger, she knew it was unfair considering she was playing games that no one would have thought possible, holding something over each and every one of them. But after days in the scorching sun, even someone’s rationality was bound to be affected in one way or another. However, despite being stranded on an island away from all civilization, she liked to think that everyone, including Finn, was able to make his own decisions. Things were already bad, she didn’t think there was else could she do to them if they disobeyed her.

Feeling his fingers reach for hers, Greta pulled back as if his fingers had burned her skin. Even after hearing his words she was unable to shake that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Stop giving me so many excuses.” Greta’s voice was cold as she shook her head in reply. She would have been more inclined to believe it had it happened once, but she had seen it clear as day when she pushed back up again to his lips. She knew she had no reason to react this way, Finn had been nothing but faithful, at least she liked to think, but her anger was mostly aimed at the other girl and Finn just happened to be the first one she ran into first. Tearing her eyes away from his, Greta curled her fist at her side. Ignoring the box he attempted to hand her, she turned towards the hut where the girl was probably sleeping. “First she tells you she’s in love with you, something which you never mentioned, and now this? It’s ridiculous.” She scoffed, finally allowing herself to meet his eyes.

[finley-gray]

When she snatched her fingers away, Finn felt like his heart nearly broke into two and he allowed his hand to move back onto his lap again. "I love you, Greta, I don't love anyone else, especially Grace." He spoke, lifting his eyes up and looked at her determinedly. "I didn't tell you because it didn't matter, I told her there was no chance at all between her and I. I've only ever had my eyes on you Greta, I've practically waited two years for you and I'm not about to throw that all down the drain for someone else." Threading his fingers together, Finn began to clench his fists together until they nearly turned white. He wasn't happy at all with how this conversation was going, he needed her to stay in his life more than anyone right now, it was her that was keeping him grounded. 

[finley-gray]

"I just..." she started nervously, fingers fidgeting in front of her as she crossed the room, coming to sit on the edge of his bed. "Which did you really mean?" Her voice was soft, barely audible even as close as they were together.

"I meant the apology, Trin, more than anything." Finn whispered, looking up at his sister once feeling himself wake up more. "Arabella made me do it, I needed something in my luggage, something for Greta, but she said I had to say all that stuff to you to get it." Sighing, Finn reached over to where his luggage was placed and pulled out a box. "Its a promise ring." He told her, opening the box so Trinity was able to see the ring on the necklace. "I wanted to give it to Greta in Paris but I wimped out so I thought I'd do it in Tahiti.."

[finley-gray]

"Fin?" she asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper as she walked up to his hut and found no door to knock on. "Hey, are you in here?"

Lifting his head, Finn rubbed the sleep from his eyes, realizing he'd been asleep for most of the day. "Hm? Wassup?" He asked, his voice slurring due to tiredness before he noticed his sister standing there. "Trin?" He questioned, confusion laced within his voice as he tried to focus on his sisters face.