Findiana Bones #117

Musings of a roller derby playing NHS worker

[finnbones117-blog]

I detest driving in an inner city and its turning me into a horrid person.

I've been internally raging about this for a while and externally with my husband but I'm just too angry after my morning commute. I commute 9.6 miles from one side of a large city to another, it takes me 45 to an hour and there's lots of traffic. As such things happen and they always do buy it's getting to be that it's happening on multiple occasions every time I get in my car (car is called Rodger btw lol). I don't know if it's because I am a slightly more timid driver (I had a few incidents on a moped as a teen so made me cautious) or if it's because I drive a cheap ford focus or if it's some form of inbuilt misogyny and sense of entitlement but predominantly men in fancier cars than mine treat me like shit. I had a scenario a few months ago where a younger gent was in the wrong Lane and I was running a bit late so didn't stop to let him pull out in front of me, because of this he proceeded to shout obscenities at me calling me a "desperate f***ing fat b***h" and that this must be the only pleasure I get in the day having him talk to me. He then over took me and kept brake checking me then started throwing bottles of pop/urine at me out his car window. I ended up going a different way to work from that point and pulled over and had a little cry. I also was very anxious about running into him again the rest of the week. And this is just one scenario, the people who are in the wrong Lane or wanting to overtake and ASSUME that I will relegate my place to let them do that. And the stupid thing is I do because I'm scared they will hit me and then they will blame me. That is was my fault for not letting them in. And the contrast between driving on my own and being a passenger in my husbands car is shocking. For my husband, at 6 foot and with shoulders the size of a small country in his Land Rover. He gets called a "w****r" or a prick and has people tail him but that is it. He does not seem to be subject to the same abuse I am. It is slowly turning me into a horrible, bitter, cynical person. Unless there is a merging point I try very hard not to let people out in front of me. I'm in traffic too and why do they deserve to get ahead. So when people do undertake me without indication or go in the wrong Lane and try and cut in it makes me so angry I feel physically sick. My husband has said ever since we've lived in the city I've slowly become an angrier person with a shorter fuse. So much so that I almost beeped and swore at a learner last night. A learner driver. I was disgusted with myself. Maybe I'm reading to much into it, maybe it's just city driving and I need to get used to the pressure of it all but I'm genuinely concerned I'm going to get out of my car and become one of those psycho screaming people. And now when I see videos of them doing the rounds on Facebook or YouTube I pity them.

[finnbones117-blog]

Do you REALLY think all Health Visitors do is weigh babies?

Because that is the impression that is being given.

Last night I read this article

http://www.nursingtimes.net/news/workforce/birmingham-health-visiting-under-threat-from-integrated-service-budget/7006440.fullarticle

Health Visiting in Birmingham is unique, it is a vast, multicultural and diverse city all governed under one trust, not even London has the problems thrown at it that Health Visitors in Birmingham do. 

Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME2wmFunCjU about a girl who was sexually abused.

Read these samples- :https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/273183/5730.pdf- The Victoria Climbie Report

http://northumberlandlscb.proceduresonline.com/pdfs/kyhra_ishaq_scr.pdf -Serious Case Review into the death of a little girl.

http://www.haringeylscb.org/sites/haringeylscb/files/executive_summary_peter_final.pdf - Serious Case review into the death of a little Boy

http://www.staffordbc.gov.uk/live/Documents/PolicyAndImprovement/Serious--Case-Review---Daniel-Pelka.pdf - Serious CAse review into the death of a little Boy

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-36781681- Article about how the death of a baby should lead to MORE services and help for postnatal mothers. 

And these are happening with the current levels of staffing ad reduced services. And you want to cut more?

The Governments 1001 Critical Days manifesto ( http://www.1001criticaldays.co.uk/the_manifesto.php) outlines that 

“ Why is the Conception to Age 2 period so critical?

Pregnancy, birth and the first 24 months can be tough for every mother and father, and some parents may find it hard to provide the care and attention their baby needs. But it can also be a chance to affect great change, as pregnancy and the birth of a baby is a critical ‘window of opportunity’ when parents are especially receptive to offers of advice and support. 

From birth to 18 months, it has been calculated that connections in the brain are created at a rate of a million per second! 

The earliest experiences shape a baby’s brain development, and have a lifelong impact on that baby’s mental and emotional health. 

A pregnant mother suffering from stress can sometimes pass on the message to the unborn baby that the world will be dangerous, so that as a child he or she will struggle with many social and emotional problems. 

The child’s response to experiences of fear or tension have been set to danger and high alert. This will also occur at anytime during the first 1001 days whenever a baby is exposed to overwhelming stress from any cause within the family, such as parental mental illness, maltreatment or exposure to domestic violence.  

International studies show that when a baby’s development falls behind the norm during the first years of life, it is more likely to fall even further behind in subsequent years, than to catch up with those that have had a better start. 

Attachment is the name given to the bond a baby makes with its caregiver/s. There is longstanding evidence that a baby’s social and emotional development is affected by their attachment to their parents.

Babies are disproportionately vulnerable to abuse and neglect. In England they are seven times more likely to be killed than older children. Around 26% of babies (198,000) in the UK are estimated to be living within complex family situations, of heightened risk where there are problems such as substance misuse, mental illness or domestic violence. 36% of serious case reviews involve a baby under one. The best chance to turn this around is during the 1001 critical days: conception to age two period. At least one loving, sensitive and responsive relationship with an adult caregiver teaches the baby to believe that the world is a good place and reduces the risk of them facing disruptive issues in later life. 

Every child deserves an equal opportunity to lead a healthy and fulfilling life, and with the right kind of early intervention, there is every opportunity for secure parent infant relationships to be developed. Whether out of concern for an individual baby’s well-being or safety, or for the costs to society of poor attachment, it is imperative that how children are raised is guided and influenced by this principle and the evidence.

Health visiting is so much more than just “Weighing babies”. There;s health checks,parental mental health support, feeding support, weaning support, safeguarding, signposting and referrals for assessments for eye problems, hearing problems, developmental problems, learning disabilities. Health Visiting is HOLISTIC, we look at families and communities as a whole to try an benefit our community. We are Specialist Community Public Health Nurses, that’s the course we do that the job title we have.

With the gap in health inequalities ever increasing, the number of families struggling is also increasing putting more and more pressure on health and social services to provide the support and as can be seen in mental health services the thresholds for intervention are ever increasing. The pressure is so great that community services across the board are being required to look after sicker, more complex patients and families in the community and as such that takes a lot of man hours, reducing time and resources for patients and families stuck in the middle, not ill or complex enough to meet thresholds for intervention, but too much to cope with the primary services available. 

I genuinely feel we are letting people down. Children, families the whole kit an caboodle across the scope of community services. There’s evidence to show that early intervention helps. Early support helps. (https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/224989.pdf

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/David_Macphee/publication/225908344_DARE_to_be_You_A_family-support_early_prevention_program/links/5411b4fd0cf29e4a23297e56.pdf

http://analisicomportamentale.com/media/Smith%20Groen%20and%20Wynn%202000.pdf

http://reseauconceptuel.umontreal.ca/rid=1NFNY8QZG-9VPZJS-V3/GAGNON_Marie-Pascale.pdf

http://www.ctfeat.org/articles/smith99.htm )

They stopped doing the biennial reviews of serious case reviews in 2011 because they found that the recommendations were always the same, 

More inter-agency communication

More early help services.

Do we want to raise a generation without giving them the tools to to succeed? My discriminating against children whose parents are poor or whose families live in the wrong area. Children are innocent and they are the future. Can we truly sleep at night knowing we’ve failed them ?

[finnbones117-blog]

My current GoT theories

This contains spoilers…obviously.

. . . . . . .

1)Arya could claim Riverrun as her own. She killed that arseweasel Walder Frey and is the daughter of a tully….why the heck not.

2) the battle for the iron throne will be between women Think about it Danaerys Targaryen Yara Greyjoy Sansa Stark Arya Stark That Dornish woman and her sand snakes(forgot her name lol) Olena Tyrell Lyanna Mormont Cersei Lannister GIRL FRIGGING POWER

3)Jon snow is not a targaryen. Every single targaryen is blonde with purple eyes. Full stop. But also we know Rhaegar kidnapped her but she may have already been pregnant at that time. Pregnant with Robert Baratheons bastard, think about it, the producer/writer people made a big deal about how all Robert Baratheons bastards had dark hair in the first series when Ned was snooping. This leads on to……

4) After the dust settles from the iron throne Queen off. Everyone will remember that winter has come and the night kings armies are knocking on the door. Danaerys is the only person who can really fix this as she has the dragons; fire will probably destroy them and if not dragon glass does so why not dragons. However, to get the help Jon will have to sell himself off in a strategic marriage to Danaerys, something that would not be able to happen if R+L=J (well targaryens like incest but shed be his aunty and I don’t think their generation are down with banging family)

5) Cersei will die. But it won’t be Danaerys who does it. The prophecy she got as a child said that she’d be killed by a valonquar (?) which is high valyrian for little brother so their are 2 scopes of thought. Firstly, seeing that his Sister has gone all uber bitch and destroyed hundreds of people with wildfire, Jamie (the younger twin) who we know is going a little soft (The Brienne thing) will take it upon himself to again rid the kingdom of a mad ruler. OR Tyrion gets to do it in some form of rightful retribution.

6) Arya Stark will kill the Mountain. Not 100% on the details but I suspect the Hound and Arya to reunite, the Hound to get into a fight with the Mountain and Arya get the killing blow in.

7) Littlefinger either gets his comeuppance from the newly empowered Sansa Stark or the weird breastfeeding Arryn will chuck him out the moon door. OR he will rise from the Ashes of a destroyed Westeros to rule all (unlikely though)

8) Bran will become Lord Commander of the Nights Watch or at least stay near the wall. He’s the only person who has any chance of strengthening the magicks already in the wall and or taking on the builder role (after his namesake) to make new, shiny, magical Wall.

9)Tormund and Brienne get married and make giant ginger babies.

10) Tormund has a six-pack and wears a kilt toilets whilst cuddling kittens and reading poetry…..because why the hell not lol, he’s beautiful and epic.

So those are my theories, random as they are. Now I may be able to sleep as it’s out my brain.

Bones out x

[rellerderber]

Me: Can i have a Coke?

Waitress: We have Pepsi, is that ok?

Me: Sorry but Scald Eagle only drinks Coke

Waitress: Wh-

Me: *KAKAW*

[finnbones117-blog]

Disney store gender woe

Today is my monster in laws birthday ( I love her really,she let's me call her that) and as such on Friday we went into town to buy a birthday present. Once we bought said present we had a wander for things for us; Game to get rid of some crap games and boots for some goop for my allergic rash. Eventually we ended up in the Disney Store and here the issues begin, I'm not often one for getting involved with things but the whole experience really upset me. Star Wars us obviously massive, there was pretty much a whole wall dedicated to it, pretty epic you'd think. There was only 2 different types of Rey toy, 2! Both under 6 inches tall. WTAF Again WTAF There were more storm trooper toys and Poe Dameron toys than there were Rey Toys. For pities sake there were more toys for the bloody droids than Rey. And one set of fancy dress clothes compared to about 5 of Finn and Poe and Kylo Reno etc. Do Disney genuinely think girls don't like Star Wars or something?? Rey is the main bloody Character!!!!!! I'm perplexed as to how they think that is good representation. How many times do you see on social media pictures of Darth Princesses or Star Wars Princesses or just girls with Star Wars stuff on? Loads if you're on my social media so clearly there is a market, and when parents are having to make their own Pink Sparkly Vader masks it's quite clear the franchise isn't meeting the needs of a population. Just as there's no Flynn Rider fancy dress costumes or Prince Philip, Disney seems intent on forcing gender roles on to kids at a very early age. As I mentioned before this is not an issue I tend to get involved in because I don't have kids so I haven't fully worked it all out in my head yet but dammit what if I wanted a Rey toy???!!!!! What if my Daughter wants to dress as Rey or Glamora or Black Widow??? What if my son wants to be a mermaid?? Just seems highly suspect if you ask me -_- Bones out

[finnbones117-blog]

Debyversay

My one year debyversay is coming up in March so I thought I'd look back on my year as a Blitz Dame. I have met the most amazing people. The Dames are seriously wonderful, we've celebrated together, encouraged each other and cried together. Despite the fact that I've barely managed to train over the year they still all care and support me in all aspects of my life. My minimum skills has gone to pot mainly due to work and and injury so until I start my new job on the 22nd Feb I've just told myself I'm gonna just skate and be happy on 8 wheels again. I'm only 23, I've got enough time to pass my minimum skills, reach A team, meet scald Eagle etc all before I start having kids right???? This year I've become involved in something new and exciting and despite sucking at it I'm happy. I'm looking forward to a new year and new challenges. I'm trying to promise that I won't take things so seriously, be more happy and less grumpy about it all an accept that some people can just do their min skills in a few weeks. New me, New Findiana Bones

[finnbones117-blog]

Dear Politicians

I'm scared. I'm scared of what is happening to this country and only you can help fix it. I'm a nurse locally, I work long hours, nights, weekends, Christmases and birthdays looking after children and families at the worst time of their lives. As a team we work endless to save their lives or ease their passing however each day go into work there's one less nurse or there's one more patient and all the things you would want to do qith your patient. Plait their hair, do hand and foot prints for Mums birthday card, wash glue or antiseptic or cradle cap off them so they look as close to normal as you can make them; you can't do these things as your so understaffed you don't have the time. There's talks about privatising health care, as someone who is involved in the process of telling families there's nothing more we can do for their child. Hearing their screams and cries and trying to comfort them. Imagine now telling them they cant afford to save their child; that if they were rich their child would survive. What monster thinks that that is acceptable? Children don't choose the circumstances they are born into and yet they will suffer for it. If it comes to that stage I will no longer be a nurse. I won't support a society that allows you to put value on the life of a child. The country is in debt. To combat this debt the government is taking money from all the people to downtrodden to do anything about it. The disabled, working families, and uniformed services. My mother in law is disabled and her husband her carer. They barely have enough money to survive, living off pay day loans and any money we can spare them. ATOL told her she was fit to work, she can barely walk 20ft and requires assistance in regular toileting. She didn't choose to get cancer that would destroy her body, but she mow struggles to afford to feed herself. A lot of the girls I skate with receive working tax credits, they have their own businesses or work multiple jobs to support their families and these tax credits help them provide for their children. You take that away they will have to take on 4th jobs or close their businesses to get 9-5 jobs that pay less but have childcare. There are less police and fire officers. People don't feel safe, there's more crime/fires, this then leads to increased needs I'm Doctors times, there aren't enough GP’s so the go to A and E who are understaffed, the waiting times are long and the service substandard as the staff are so ridiculously expensive busy. People get angry, there's more crime. The vicious circle continues. Everytime a budget is cut the sphere of influence of these circles increases. I skate with med students and junior Dr's whose new contracts will mean that they will probably kill someone in the first 2 years of them working. Not because they are untrained, but because the hours they will have done to earn enough money to live will have exhausted them to a point where they make a mistake. I don't want to make this about money as it seems so crude but why should anyone have to work themselves to ill health to earn enough money to survive? Why should they have to work 3 jobs or give up their livelihood? We pay taxes and as such expect a service in return. If you went to the hairdressers, paid them, watched them do some fancy hand movements but didn't get your hair cut you'd complain. We're paying for our health service to keep us alive, police service to keep us safe etc. Yet all we are seeing is a reduction in service. As a consumer that's abysmal. MP’s have recently got a 10% pay increase to £74,000. Half of them don't even turn up to the houses of parliament to do their jobs!!!! If you want to get thus country back on track look to your own. Do you as an MP deserve this money, what are you actually doing? And done people will deserve it, but a huge percentage won't. There's multimillion pound companies who owe millions in tax avoidance. Stop taking money from people who need it. Stop helping yourselves get more wealthy. Think about where this country is going! Please help us!

[finnbones117-blog]

Skating with an injury

Christmas 2014 I fell down the stairs and broke my fall by grabbing the door frame. I then worked a temp job in a cosmetic shop over Christmas (it was manic). Skip to Summer 2015, a few months after starting skating and we're jumping over boxes, I fall funny landing on my elbow and sending shocks up my shoulder, September I fall asleep on the bus and miss my stop after a night shift so jump up, forgetting the bus is still moving and fall. This has culminated in months of constant shoulder pain. As of this week the pain has spread down my elbow and the back of my shoulder blade, my GP told me it was a trapped nerve as well as either a tear or strain injury to my rotator cuff. I got referred to physio September 19th, still no news. I've skated for most of this injury however it's getting to a point where I'm at a crossroad. I've had to take time of work this week due to the pain, I can't pull syringes or roll patients without it hurting, I can barely open a door without it hurting. Now the issue is, everytime I fall or lose balance and throw my arms out I get horific shooting pains up my neck and down my arm to my elbow. But skating is the only thing that makes me happy right now. I've been having some issues with work and my home life balance as well as not sleeping great. I haven't had chance to rest my shoulder due to work so I think my logic was it's not gonna get better so I'll skate anyway. Between the lack of sleep and Streczema and pain I think my brain has addled. I wanna skate but the question is should I? Now I know the answer. Yeh answer is no, don't skate, heal and rest. Any health professionals worth their salt would say that, hell the Nurse on me says that. But I'm terrified that actually, my shoulder is pretty bad and might need surgery. Putting all my minimum skills back and making me the even more perpetual newbie. Gah Bones out

[finnbones117-blog]

Intra league baby!!!!!

Yesterday was our first intra league game and whoever thought of the team names is a genius XD We are; Jewellery Slaughters Bournvillians Kings Heathens

If any of you know Birmingham that’s pretty epic XD

I jam timed for the 2nd official time and for the second time I lost or gained about 30 seconds from the score board. How I do it I really don’t know. Another thing I established was that actually, seeing as I have a bad shoulder and struggle to lift my arm above elbow height I probably shouldn’t jam time for a bit haha XD

Whoever split the teams up did very well as they were very evenly matched and the score was very close, it was great to see so many people trying things outside of their comfort zones like Jamming, bench managering and for some guys it was their first bout XD (yay for them)

The calibre of Derby was so good. I’m literally brimming with all the happy proud feels for my derby family.

We celebrated each others achievements and it was awesome. We are awesome !!! Bones out

[finnbones117-blog]

Ref school and Skating ruts

I made the decision that I was going to join the referee school my league was running.

I made this decision because: A) I do shift work so any extra chance I can get to be on skates is a bon(e)us for me really. B) it will improve my game of Derby as I will understand the rules better. C) I quite fancy the idea of giving penalties XD

The ref school is ran by a level 2 ref close to the league and we have such fun, we end up digressing into massive tangents about the craziest of things and I’ve learnt so much.

I have already admitted to myself that I will never pass my minimum skills and be a proper skater, my dreams of A team glory and D1 playoffs against Skald Eagle will never be.

But zebra-ing could be a thing for me? I dunno, I had a go at scrim night after one of the session and although i saw penalties I didn’t call them, only because by the time I’d remembered the hand signal and the call etc someone else had already done it XD.

I’ve been in a real skating rut at the moment. I’m doing lots of random shifts and missing out on training so I really don’t feel like I’m improving at all. My body is letting me down; I have hip displasia in my right hip, going derby direction is OK as for crossovers etc the weight is on my left hip but as soon as we go none derby direction it hurts to just skate let alone try and crossover. And then the newbies (who are wonderful and Keen and I love them) just whizz past me with no issues.

I’m proud of them for progressing and learning but at the same time I’m so bitterly heartbroken and disappointed by my own failure. I think I could be pre-mins for about 5 years :s

I know previously I’ve talked about utilising the amazing A and B team skaters and motivation and teachers but I’m at the point where I’m embarrassed to ask the same question for the 1 billionth time or fail at the same technique they’ve been trying to help me with. I feel like I’m letting them down.

I’ve done a lot of night shifts recently as well , 6 in 10 days to be exact and I’m so disorientated that I don’t even know what day of the week I’m on to be quite frank and after a big tipsy rant with my mother a few weekends ago I’m trying to establish if I actually hate my job. Which is fun.

I’m so sleepy and confused and sad at the moment, blargh

Bones out.

[revolutionaryeye]

Nurses speak out against Tories’ health lies

The Tories’ plans to ram through “seven day working” in the NHS will hit health workers and patients hard.

Ministers are ramping up the propaganda war to justify an attack on pay and conditions with talk of lazy workers and lack of access for patients.

Sakina is a nurse at Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital NHS Trust in south London. She told Socialist Worker, “We’ve always had a 24-hour, seven day a week NHS. I work night and day shifts, and on the weekend.”

The government’s attempt to make staff work longer for less will affect patients too. The staffing crisis in the NHS and rocketing workloads are already hitting patient care.

Sakina said, “Health workers are already being driven out of the NHS, and we’re heavily reliant on agency and new staff. The quality of the service is not as good as it was.

“You’re constantly rushed. You’re compromising the patients’ care and lives. If you’re tired, looking after lots of patients and having to help agency and new staff, then your concentration will go.

“This opens the door to errors. They’re not paper errors in the NHS—we’re dealing with people’s lives.”

Fractured

Tory justice minister Michael Gove was supposedly left out on a limb recently when he couldn’t get an X-ray for a fractured foot on a Sunday.

But he went to a minor injuries unit, which don’t have 24-hour radiology because of underfunding. Another hospital just a mile away did.

The Tories now want surgery and outpatient clinics to run on weekends. Sakina said this was “unrealistic” as bosses “won’t get the staff.”

The Tories want to scrap the unsocial hours pay that’s essential to many workers. The pay review body instead recommended pushing the start back from 8pm to 10pm and possibly scrapping Saturday pay.

But the attack is still coming—and it isn’t just about pay. The Tories hope lower wages will make the NHS more attractive for privatising firms (see below). Their attacks are a disaster for patients.

East Kent Hospitals NHS Trust said last week that chemotherapy patients in Ashford will be forced to get their treatment in mobile buses in the car park. The hospital’s own chemo unit was closed due to a staff shortage.

Staffing is critical for patient care. Sakina said, “Patients are brought to us sedated and it’s our job to wake them up. They’re disorientated and don’t know where they are—many don’t even realise they’ve had the operation.

“This is the moment when you need to sit down with them.

“You can’t just say, ‘We’re keeping an eye on you because of your heart’ and then just walk away. Patients aren’t medical people. Every bleep on the machine worried one of my patients last week—they thought that they were dying.

“When I sat down and explained their situation to them, they said they wished someone had done it before.

“With the ‘seven day’ changes it will only get worse—there will be no humanity in the NHS.”

Source:- http://socialistworker.co.uk/art/41014/Nurses+speak+out+against+Tories%E2%80%99++health++lies

[finnbones117-blog]

....not sure how blatant white extremism and islamophobia isn't hate speech?

[finnbones117-blog]

Nurse Burnout

I have man flu. And before I am told I can't have man flu as I'm not a man, man flu is a state of mind where you whinge and complain about a cold. So yeah I have man flu. It started on Wednesday after coming home from a round about trip to see family and Thursday I went to work. My mother text me Thursday night to ask me how I was feeling; my answer "I dunno this is the first time I've had chance to sit and think about it. Had a really poopily busy day." And then I thought about it. About my aching back, my aching shoulder, my sore feet, sore knees, sore hips. Pretty much every part of my body hurt in some way and I looked back on my day. My patient was quite poorly overnight so as such when I arrived at 7.30am alot of things hadn't been done. Myself and the nurse next to me spent alot of time trying to catch up, including everything they wanted from ward round. At 7.30am my patient has soiled itself, at 10.30am I managed to get round to cleaning them as unfortunately it hadn't been a priority. We just managed to catch up then the nurse next doors patient has to have a procedure that she wasn't aware of. We rush to get things ready and then I lose both registrars and the consultant and 3 nurses to that procedure. I struggle to get my drugs checked and they're late as a consequence. My patient now needs a procedure that has been due all morning but I wasn't ready for. Luckily it only requires myself, one reg and a surgeon. Just as we're finishing up the patient next door starts desatting. There's some suction done and suddenly the BP plummets. Cue emergency event requiring alot of us to help. That all gets sorted, I give my drugs (late) then try to sit down and write my notes. A nurse from the other side sees me sat and comes and asks me to help her as she has 2 patients and is very busy. It's the first time I've sat down really all day but I know the unit is short staffed. A nurse practitioner has come to help and there's a transport nurse aswell as some of our nurses that have arrived at about 4pm for emergency twilight. I feed her baby then go back to my notes. Suddenly it's 8pm and I'm handing over. Mr B has had a bad day too. Car has broken and he's been messed around at work. We eat the day before leftover tea and watch a film in bed. I am exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally. I now understand nurse Burnout. The experience I had was hard, and it's not even a rare occurrence. NHS staffing is poor, and yet they want to cut down on foreign nurses. They want to reduce pay and increase hours for junior doctors, that will mean fewer registrars. Something has to give somewhere This is a ticking time bomb and at some I think there will be a day when we all as a collective just stop and say no more. And there will be no more NHS. And that's terrifying. Bones out.

[finnbones117-blog]

Motivation or a lack of.

I've hit a hump. A hump in my general life that tells me maybe my job isn't right, maybe I'm not happy, maybe I can't skate, maybe I'll never pass minimum skills and maybe all our new fresh meat will progress much faster than me. Suffice to say I've had a bad week. 3 very busy and intense shifts at work pushing me to my very limits physically and mentally. I'm in agony. I finished my last shift Monday morning and 2 days later, the morning of my next shift, everything still hurts. It hurts to stand, walk, lift and turn. So another shift like the others tonight could really be difficult. I think this is like the "6 months itch" where I've worked at my job for a certain length of time now to have worked out what's good about it and what's bad about it. Mr B hates my job. He hates that every week I work something different, he hates the nights, the fact I have to work Christmas etc. He's not a fan. And although currently I'm re-evaluating what I want from my job I know what I don't want; boredom. I have the attention span of a 4 year old and get bored very quickly so I personally don't feel certain types of nursing are for me. So I trawl through nhs jobs on a regular basis just waiting for the perfect job to appear. So that's work. In regards to roller derby I feel I will be a rookie for the next 5 years. I've been skating now since February and I can't crossover. I think if I could master crossovers I'd feel I've achieved something but I definitely feel I've plateaued. And then that gets in my head and I over think new skills so much I convince myself I can't do them. Then I get upset and it's all poopy. Our team has a 66% attendance requirement for rostering to A and B teams. At this point that's not an issue as I'm not there yet but I'm worried that my job will make me miss out on these opportunities. I think I'm just very grumpy because I hurt so much :( Bones out.

[finnbones117-blog]

Whistle fear

So last scrim night I learnt how to jam time. Initially it was confusing, I felt very in the way and very unsure of what I was doing. There were many zebras in a very small space and after the initial, "Oh my gosh someone's going to plow into me", I realised that for the first time I could hear what they were saying. No asking other spectators what was happening or just guessing. And suddenly things started making a whole lot more sense, out of bounds and cutting calls, being able to see the pack formation closer. I know I could just pay more attention but if you're not NSOing there are very few "spare" people that can explain things with you. I'm not gonna lie I feel that all newbies should jam time and/or penalty wrangle at some point; being able to overhear reviews and the small conversations as well as calls has taught me so much more than watching YouTube videos. Something that occurred to me when jam timing is the importance of the whistle. As any of the refs or jam timer you're whistle is pretty important. It's got to be audible and it has to deliver the right message. In a loud sports hall people need to know when the jam is starting or a review has finished or else mistakes could be made. You gotta commit to your whistle blowing skills, with meaning and intent. As I warmed into the jam timing my whistle blows became more purposeful and direct. I think I didn't fully appreciate the role that the Jam timer has in helping the refs know about timings. You need to not be afraid of your whistle!!!!! With great whistle power comes great whistle responsibility and I did get a bit whistle happy a few times but I'd rather apologies to my team at a scrim night then embarrass myself at a bout. Ultimately, as a newbie my job is to learn and if you can't make mistakes with your team then when can you. I blew my whistle hard! It was very empowering, very therapeutic. I may even become a Zebra, who knows? Bones out.

[roller-boom]

When someone asks me what my skating style is

And I say “penguin”: 

[theweekmagazine]

The grit and grace of roller derby

Get swept up by the action of the female-dominated sport

[finnbones117-blog]

Fab article