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Sitting here with herpes like these tight jeans ain’t hurting. Yes, I said it. HERPES. Let’s go one step further and say that I have GENITAL HERPES. Now, any reaction to that says everything about you and nothing about me. People don’t understand what it means to have herpes. By mentioning the virus, most people get flashbacks to Sex Ed where some teacher made them watch a PowerPoint presentation of all the worst case scenarios, terrifying you and planting the seed of shame so that you never see yourself as an example displayed on a slide show.

The reality is so different. It’s really just a skin condition, a rash that comes and goes, sometimes more frequently than others. That is it. 1 in 6 people have hsv-2 (aka genital herpes) and 2 in 3 people have hsv-1. One strain is not necessarily better or worse than the other. Yes, it’s uncomfortable but it’s really not a big deal. What makes it a big deal is people too ignorant to see past the stigma and see the person. People too afraid of what they don’t know, never daring to ask a question or do some research, not once looking past the word “herpes” and actually attempting to understand the condition and the person who carries it.

In the strangest turn of events, I have actually loved myself so much more with herpes than I ever have without it. It’s become a filter, sorting through people who respond with “gross” (if you do that, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.) “Gross” should never be a response to anything, especially not something that you first of all, do not understand and secondly, something that a person has to carry around with them until science finds a cure. Until then, don’t say “gross”, instead just ask them what it’s like to have herpes or, and this might seem crazy, don’t say anything at all! What also gets filtered out are men whose only focus is sex and the stigma attached to herpes is too frightening for their shallow personalities because their sexual endeavours mean more than the other person.

The people left behind once herpes has done its filtering job, are people with curious minds, people who speak with empathy instead of judgement and people unafraid of stigma. Be one of those people. Understand that it is a skin condition and that the stigma attached to it carries way more weight than the actual virus. See the person who is opening up to you and sharing that they have herpes, look past that word. Once you understand what herpes actually is, talk about it! If you have herpes, talk about it, write a blog, post it on Instagram, take a cute picture and attach a speech to it (hehe). Break the stigma. X

Do you think I'm pretty, sir?