Super Moon Warning
Hey y’all, it’s a Super Moon out tonight.
You all know what that means.
Keep yourselves and your partner (or staff) safe.
Everyone comes home.
See you out there.
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Keni

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almost home

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@firedevin15
Super Moon Warning
Hey y’all, it’s a Super Moon out tonight.
You all know what that means.
Keep yourselves and your partner (or staff) safe.
Everyone comes home.
See you out there.
There’s so much suffering going on in the world right now, there’s not only one place to think of, let alone mention here. My heart is with everyone who may need it.
🌎🌺🌍🌻🌏💐
And to everyone in the U.S. not affected by the hurricanes, if you see a Military Veteran or Active Duty person, Fire Fighter, or Police Officer, please thank them for their service. September 11th, 2001 forever changed our country, and they were there to protect us.
“Something about his job made him wonder about his own God-given sense. Normal people don’t climb over broken cars at accidents and run into burning buildings. They don’t pick up sawed off body parts at construction sites, rinse them off, put them in a bag of ice and speed off to the hospital where hopefully they could be reattached. Regular, everyday people don’t dodge rotor blades while pushing a patient inside a helicopter. All in all, normal people don’t do this kind of thing, and you have to be just a little bit crazy to want to.”
— Twenty-five at the lip
Your Experiences Matter- Mental Health in First Responders
Afternoon, everyone.
I’m about to go into work, but I wanted to take the time to say something:
Your experiences matter.
I read a post by someone I follow, and it billed down to this: “What I’ve seen isn’t that bad, it’s not bad enough to seek help, I’m too new/young to have seen REALLY bad things.”
And here’s the thing: I think that’s wrong.
There’s no such thing as too young. There’s no such this as being “just an EMT”.
The moment you start comparing yourself to others is the moment that you are denying yourself closure, the right to feel that your own experiences are valid.
Trust me, I do it all the time,
People in our line of work see some pretty fucked up things. We see child abuse, death, pain and suffering.
You can be the newest EMT in the state, ink still wet on your card, or you can be the saltiest medic who’s been doing this shit for 30 years and has seen it all, what we do takes a toll.
The first time you see someone die, especially if you’ve never been exposed to it before, isn’t an insignificant event. It can either haunt you, not bother you at all, or be somewhere in-between.
You can go on a call and see something horrible but brush it off no problem and never think about it again. Your partner may never stop thinking about it, and it can be the very last thing they see when they close their eyes at night.
Everyone experiences the world differently. and we all cope with different situations differently.
Wanna know one image that still bothers me? It isn’t even particularly “bad”. Not a terrible trauma, a pediatric arrest, nothing that “usually” bothers people.
It was a kid. He had some form of cancer, and was getting very sick. He came into our ER, was treated, and admitted to the hospital. Now, he wasn’t my patient. Someone just asked me if I could do them a favor and transport this kid upstairs. He was 4. An only child. His mother was there with him, and at one point he coughed up some green sputum. The mother reached down with the most defeated look I had ever seen and wiped his face off. It was the face that said “I know my child is going to die, and there’s nothing I can do about it”. After I dropped them off on the ward and took the stretcher back downstairs, I took 5 minutes, went outside, and cried.
That’s one of the things I think about sometimes.
I see a therapist. I’m not ashamed to say it. Mainly for unrelated things, but if I have a tough call I go there and talk about that. I talked about a dead kid I saw a couple of months ago, and although thinking about it now makes me a little sad, with the help of my therapist I was able to talk about it and express my feelings about it, and work through it in a healthy way.
Don’t let anyone tell you that “it wasn’t that bad”. Don’t let them say “you’re too new”, or “too young”, or that you don’t have it that bad and they’ve seen a lot worse.
Don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it”. Some things are hard to get over.
We all need help at one time or another. We have to be strong enough to seek it out.
Whatever you have seen, whatever you have done, your feelings about it are valid. Don’t push them aside, don’t deny them. That starts you down a bad road, and it’s hard to come back from that.
We all make jokes and make a big show about acting all tough, showing that the daily stresses and the big incidents don’t get to us.
It’s all bullshit, isn’t it?
Our mental health, as first responders, is more important than any tool or drug that we carry.
If we are not ok, we cannot help those who call on us in their worst moments.
Reach out. Talk to a friend, a family member, if you’re worried that they won’t understand talk to a coworker or someone else in the same field. Maybe talk to someone who was on the call with you. Talk to your dog if you don’t want to talk to a person. Just talk. Don’t bury it.
You are not alone. Reach out.
“I’m a paramedic, but nobody taught me how to sit an 86 year old gentleman down to tell him his wife of 65 years has died in her sleep. Nobody taught me how to watch as the desire for life leaves his eyes the moment I break the earth shattering news that would change his life forever. Nobody taught me how to accept a torrent of abuse from a complete stranger, just because they have been drinking all day and want a lift home. Nobody taught me how to reason with the aggressive patient I’ve just met; overdosed, but needing my help to breathe. Nobody taught me how to talk to someone so depressed that they have just slit their own wrists, panicked and called for help. Nobody taught me how to respond when they turned to me and said “I can’t even get suicide right”. Nobody taught me how to bite my tongue when I went 2 hours over my finish time for someone who’d been ‘generally unwell’ for 24 hours. Nobody taught me how to accept that I would miss out on things other people take for granted; birthdays, Christmas day, meals at normal times of the day, sleep. Nobody taught me how to hold hands with a dying person as they take their last breath, how to hold back the tears because it’s not my grief. Nobody taught be how to keep a straight face whilst a young man explains exactly what happened to the end of his hoover. Nobody taught me how to act when a patient pulls a knife on me. Being a paramedic is so much more than swooping in and saving lives; it’s about dealing with the most unique, challenging experiences and just going home at the end of the shift, being asked ‘how was your day’ and replying ‘fine thanks’. Being a paramedic is about constantly giving a bit of yourself to every patient, because although it’s our 5th patient of the day and we can’t remember their name it’s their first ambulance, their loved one, their experience. It’s about the bits that nobody taught me how… It’s about providing pain relief and reassurance to a 90 year old lady who’s fallen and hurt her hip, and despite all the pain she turns and says “Thank you, how are you?”. It’s about a hug that you give someone on Christmas Day because they haven’t spoken to anyone for days, they have no relatives or companions but you’ve brightened up their day. It’s about climbing in the car next to someone and saying ‘Don’t worry, we’ll have you out of here in just a moment’ It’s about everything that we do that the media doesn’t publicize, It’s about knowing that we couldn’t attend to the dying man because we were dealing with a drunk… who then assaulted one of us. I’m a Paramedic, But Nobody Taught Me How…”
— Julia Cornah
Sacred
I have been trying to make this post for a while now, but the words have not come to me in the right way. This post is about the ever dreaded question of “What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” The topic was brought up by a former coworker of mine a few weeks ago on the phone. He had just returned from a first date. After discovering his occupation, that was her first question.
It’s nothing of a surprise for us. If you have been in public service for more than two seconds you have probably been asked this question. I can understand getting frustrated with it, but I do not understand why we get angry about it. Someone was curious, so they asked a question about an otherwise obscure occurrence. They do not know the horrors of what are happening behind the walls of their neighbor’s home when they see flashing lights out front, so of course they ask. I thought I would make this post to explain to some civilians why it is that this question is not the most appropriate way to strike up a conversation with us.
It has everything to do with death itself. When a patient dies, the call itself becomes an artifact of their life. The final page of their book of life has been turned, and the cover has been shut. We were the ones there to experience those moments with the people, but there is something beyond that. Even though we may have done absolutely everything we could have done, we still failed our responsibility as first responders. We failed to stop, the probably inevitable, death. This weighs on us at a personal level. This is why things stick to us for a long time, even though we did nothing wrong.
This is why we hold those last moments sacred. Unless I trust you very much, I will not describe to you what I have seen. You do not deserve to have access to someone’s last moments on Earth, and I feel humbled that somehow I did.
So next time you consider asking that question, remember what you are dragging out of us. Even if we do not answer, we are thinking about it now. So maybe ask something else, ask how we liked it, ask what the job is like, but don’t ask about someone’s most sacred memories.
Don’t be Patriotic today (9/11)
Don’t be patriotic today. Patriotism is a celebration of ones devotion and loyalty to their country. Patriotism is about the idea that you are loyal.
Today is not about patriotism. Today is about remembrance.
If you want to display your pride in what happened on 9/11, specifically for the responders who were there; then go to your local firehouse and thank them for putting their lives on the line every day. Give them a hug, bring them dinner. Donate to your volunteer fire department, or volunteer yourself (you dont have to be a firefighter to volunteer). Show them that you care about them whether their saving your life or not. Show them that you remember their brothers and sisters who did not come back from New York that day.
If you want to be patriotic today, thank a police officer that does good in your area. Acknowledge that although there is bad cops making a bad name for them, that you know that there are also good cops, most of whom have their hands tied by the system because “ratting out” another cop will get them a lifetime of pain, or worse, a bullet in the back. Show them that you remember the police officers who responded, and the ones who died on the line helping people that day.
If you want to wave the flags today, wave them for the Military. The members of the Coast Guard, National Guard, Reservists, and more that not only came to the response on that day, but continued to put their lives on the line and died for years afterwards in the “war on terror”. Show them that their dedication is not in vain and that you will always remember.
If you want to remember, then remember the dispatchers, sitting in their protected building, able only to pick up the phone and hear the anguish and pain on the other end. Spending as long as it took to assure the caller that help was on the way, that they will not be left or forgotten. Dieing a little bit every time the line went dead, or the person on the other end audibly expired while the dispatch wished their very will could transport them to someone that could help. Listening on the radio as their comrades on the street were trying to get help… as their last words went out over the air… “Mayday…. Mayday…. Mayday” experiencing all the pain and anguish of the day, and unable to do more than take a breath and answer the next call for help.
Don’t be patriotic today.
Be thankful. Take the time to let them know you appreciate them.
Set aside the hate, the anger, the racism, the stereotypes and just remember.
Remember the day that for a little bit, we were united as a people, coming together as one to help each other through to the next day.
Remember that day that we were truly the UNITED States of America, and not the petty groups at each others throats that we have become. Remember the countless lives that were lost because of hatred, racism, and religious intolerance.
Remember…. and never let it happen again.
Remember…. and STOP it now.
Remember.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?
Let me start by saying that I think as a society we are generally caring and considerate to first responders. At least for the most part.
The last time I was asked this question, my response was
“You’re the kind of asshole that asks veterans if they’ve killed anybody, aren’t you?”
Luckily he took the hint and shut up, realizing it was kind of a dick question. Like I said, most people are considerate, if maybe a little uninformed. I guess that’s why I’m writing this; to inform. Not only for non-emergency responders who may be tempted to ask stupid questions, but also for emergency responders who don’t have a more polite response than mine.
We talk about our bad calls all the time. It’s one of the things we keep “in the family”, only really talking about it with other emergency personnel. I get how that can make it seem like a double standard, but it really boils down to one simple point.
You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what it’s like to do everything in your power to try to save a life, just to watch it slip away after being told not to do anything. You don’t know what it’s like to have a dead child placed in your arms by a sobbing mother who expects you to fix him. You don’t know what it’s like to begin treatment on an accident victim and discover it is one of your best friends. No amount of explaining could give someone else that experience, and the cost of each explanation is re-living all of the emotions of the worst day of someone’s life. I don’t think that anybody truly belives that their personal entertainment is worth that cost, but not everybody realizes what they are really asking.
Emergency Services Mythbusters
We all hear misconceptions about our jobs on a regular basis. Rather than moan about it, I thought I would make this post debunking those myths to help educate the general public. So listen up!
Myth 1: If an ambulance takes me to the hospital I won’t have to wait (EMS) Wrong! The speed at which you are seen at the ER is based upon your condition, your symptoms, and whether anyone else around you is more urgent. This isn’t a first come first serve situation, this is one where the urgent patients, who don’t have time to wait, are seen first. If you don’t want to wait and don’t have life threatening symptoms, I recommend waiting to see your doctor or visit an Urgent Care. I have wheeled many a patient into the waiting area on a gurney, we are not a free pass to a room.
Myth 2: Go to the ER when you run out of medications (EMS/ER) Wrong…usually. If you run out of medications you need to contact your prescribing physician or your pharmacy. If you have mental health issues, run out of medications, and feel you are a risk to yourself or others, absolutely take a trip to the ER. They will make sure you stay safe and evaluate your condition.
Myth 3: First Responders judge patients (EMS/LE/Fire) Wrong! I guarantee you we have seen worse/more ridiculous things than you are calling for. Sure, we may chuckle about some things later on, but we are not judging you personally for what you called for. You are our citizens and if you feel you are in an emergency situation we will be there and do our best for you. You aren’t the first naked patient we have seen, not the first weird object in an orifice, and you are not bothering us by calling.
Myth 4: Firefighters are just firefighters (Fire) Wrong! In many jurisdictions your local Firefighters are also EMTs or Paramedics! Ever wonder why you get a fire truck when you called for an ambulance? That’s why! Firefighter/Paramedics are some of the smartest people I know!
Myth 5: Taxpayers have to pay for groceries and televisions (Fire) Wrong! If you see your local Firefighters shopping at the grocery store alongside you on duty, that food is coming out of their pockets! Usually the crew will each put down x amount of money for the day and then cook together. Aside from the basic necessities in the living area, most of the contents are either donated/bought by Firefighters or by the Union. This includes the televisions, lounge chairs, mattresses, etc. And if we are going to bring up the taxpayer argument, we pay our taxes too(;
Myth 6: You can sleep all day (Fire/EMS) Depending on your department/response area! There are some departments out there who are both not busy at all and are lazy, and they probably do sleep all day. However, the vast majority of us are either very busy or fill the downtime with training and continuing education! Where I worked, we generally ran between 16-20 calls in a 24 hour shift. If you average each call out to about an hour, that leaves us 4 hours of downtime to sleep and eat. Sleep is a precious luxury for Fire/EMS.
Myth 7: You have to be heartless (Fire/EMS/LE) Very wrong! You do not get into, or last, in this career without caring about people. I don’t care if you are a Firefighter, EMT, Paramedic, or LEO…your basic job description is to serve the citizens. Sure, we know how and when to shut our emotions off to do our jobs. When your child is sick the last thing you want is a sobbing, bumbling mess of a responder. That being said, we definitely feel empathy for our patients.
Myth 8: You are basically doctors/You are basically a taxi (EMS) This myth tends to go one way or another. Either people think we are unskilled morons, or they think we are directly out of General Hospital and can cric someone with a ballpoint pen and a pocket knife. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Even EMTs (The entry level certification for EMS) are trained in life saving measures and are fairly knowledgable about medicine. Paramedics are jacks of all trades. They can give you medications, take over your breathing with a tube down your throat, monitor and read your heart rhythms, and many other things. That’s even more than RNs in many cases (Apples to oranges y’all, just for reference).
Myth 9: I bet your job is really exciting (Fire/EMS/LE) Yes and no. Our job can be very exciting at times. You have your days or your calls where the adrenaline is pumping and you get to feel like a hero. You have other days where all you run are BLS falls, fire alarm activations, or social-worker-like calls.
Myth 10: First Responders cannot get PTSD, they aren’t soldiers This one is thankfully on its way out of this list, but it is still present. There are genuinely plenty of people, who don’t understand our jobs, that believe only our military members can develop PTSD. PTSD can come from being involved in any traumatic event, and if affects each person differently than the next. The reality is that almost 40% of us have been diagnosed with a mental health disorder secondary to the things we see on a daily basis, and that’s not including all those who refuse to get help. Don’t worry though, we are all very highly functioning individuals who you can absolutely trust with your emergency. We just have struggles in life like everyone else!
I hope this has helped educate some of you on your Emergency Services! Just remember we are always there to help and be safe! Please feel free to reach out to this page if you ever have any questions about what we do!
Why lovers can’t be friends.
When you break up with a person, you don’t lose just one person. You lose a lot. You lose a lot of things, a lot of people. They take away the moments you spent with them. They take away that time you put in to build that kind of life. They take away friends -their friends whom you had started liking and some who had become good friends. They take away those songs you used to listen when you were together. Those lanes where you used to walk. Those movies you watched with them. And the ones which you didn’t but were going to. They take away the person you had become when you were with them. Your identity you had associated yourself with. You were theirs for so long- being someone else’s was a part of your identity. They take away those small things you had saved- now you have no use of the ticket from your first movie or the gift wrappers you managed to save. They take away those smiles you smiled when someone teased you with their name. They take away those Facebook tags and photos and status updates which are now meaningless. They take away those tears, because you will never cry for the same things again, not for another person. And with all this they take themselves away making sure that you hate some of the things you loved including them. - Ridhima Shukla
I wrote all of those words myself, but as soon as it happens, I acted differently from how I wanted to. I acted like an ignorant person. I really regret it. You were there for me but when you seemed cold and distant, I suddenly pulled away without trying to know why or comfort you. It’s not how it should have worked. I promised myself I would care for you and I will. I’m sorry. I won’t tell you all of this but it’s high time for me to take care of you, it just wouldn’t feel right to let you fix me while I can’t do anything for you at all.
(via tranquilist)
“How are you doing?” The question kind of stops you. Because you’re okay. Your world is still spinning and you’re still smiling and you’re okay. But then sometimes you’re not okay. Not even one little bit. And you don’t really sleep at nights because your bed is as empty as your arms. And there’s a space on your wall where his photo used to hang. And sometimes you can’t even eat because he’s gone and the sick feeling in your stomach just becomes a permanent part of you. And when you kiss someone new their lips are wrong and their hands don’t tug your hair and their body doesn’t feel quite right beneath your wandering hands. And sometimes you cry and you don’t think you’ll ever stop. But you don’t say that. They don’t want to hear that. You just smile and say, “I’m okay I guess.”
Even when I’m okay, I’m not, 08/10/2016 (via afadingdancer)
I can tell that I’m in love with you and don’t just miss being loved. Because if it was anyone else that left, I would have missed someone giving me attention, but I wouldn’t feel like half of my soul is missing and the other half is falling apart. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t miss them every moment of everyday. I wouldn’t think of them when I did the things I love. I wouldn’t have to do the things I love just to keep my mind off of them. I wouldn’t have felt like I was dying since the second they left. I wouldn’t have to get used to the “new normal” which is basically life without you. I wouldn’t be so enraged. I wouldn’t be changed.
The New Normal // Life Without You (via infinity-and-dreams)
Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.
Stephen King (via lazypacific)
That night when my eyes first met yours, I knew you would either complete me or completely destroy me.
K.N.B. (via learningtoliveagain7896)