heard the essek malfina post got a good amount of notes so here’s a pt 2

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@fjordsbighat
heard the essek malfina post got a good amount of notes so here’s a pt 2
unhinged
He is my favorite character. If Chetney has a million fans I'm one of them. If he has one fan I am them.
heyo remember when the nein were in a flesh tunnel in an abomination of a living city, and their worst enemy lost friend was like. regenerating or swallowing the somnovum one flesh room away, and they were VERY POSSIBLY GOING TO DIE, and the world with them. and jester was like. okay you assholes. sit down, we’re eating a feast.
and they sat down. in that flesh tunnel. and Jester created some soup and chicken satay and pineapple fried rice and grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes, and they ate bread and soup and talked about last wishes and last words and regrets. And had conversations swinging from “if you die, what do you want us to tell your family?” to “well yasha, i think you made a big mistake going with beau when i was available-” to “if we die, i don’t have any regrets” to “what do you MEAN you don’t like soup-”
(essek. is making a joke.)
anyway. thats all. clustered in a grotesque flesh tunnel, floating in the astral sea, metres and minutes away from your potential doom, eating food and soup with people you love, people you trust, people you would die for, people you would live for. you know. thats all.
You should never have to walk into the storm alone
stress levels during keyfish: highest to lowest
1) matt, who had to use his phone to roll 100d6 and tell his girlfriend she got 363 points of damage and died because she jumped off a fucking cliff
2) liam, the only person who fully grasps that one of them just fucking died
3) ashley, shocked and offended at travis laughing about this
4) laura, laughing occasionally but very stressed
5) sam, who appreciates both the gravity and the humor of the situation
6) taliesin, mildly concerned but mostly amused
7) marisha, arguing with matt about physics, shaking with laughter for five minutes
8) travis, who is actively cackling throughout
Some of my most favorite completely pivotal, campaign-changing moments from Critical Role Campaign 2, in no particular order:
-mail fraud
-walking through a literal, not-space-related, massively long tunnel-like worm hole from one continent to another
-blueberry cupcakes
-almost killing a weird purple dude with a weird geometric object, letting him go only for him to get killed by the government an instant later, and then being like “well I don’t want the GOVERNMENT to have whatever that is” and stealing it back on a whim. and then just. carrying around a powerful magical relic of unknown significance. for months. just jangling around in their bags and occasionally being whipped out for a once-a-day reroll. this thing started a WAR and then disappeared from under the noses of TWO NATIONS and these random adventuring chucklefucks had it the whole time
-appearing for an audience before a queen of a foreign land wearing BDSM gear and whipping out one of their lost religious relics
-The Wildmother loving her weird pink son enough to give him THREE successful divine interventions
-relentlessly attempting to become best friends with a war criminal even after learning that he started a war
-accidentally stealing a pirate ship. not ~accidentally stealing~, actually on accident stealing a pirate ship with no intentions to do so prior to stealing the pirate ship. and then going “I guess we’re pirates now.”
-Fjord flipping off a sea god and destroying his weird sea sword and then refusing or forgetting to get rid of the weird sea orb inside him and then going out to sea after he pissed off the sea god. multiple times.
-Yasha cannot make a wisdom saving throw to save her life her free will and it changed the course of the story. multiple times.
-negotiating peace between warring nations, and then dipping out to go organize and attend a cult convention
-going to their first ever big city and being like “what do we do now? crime? is crime what we do now? crime?” and committing treason and conspiring to murder a city official and joining a crime syndicate led by a wet dude who later turned out to be Jester’s dad
C3E17: ashley and laura reacting to laudna’s story (requested by anonymous)
“focus your brain forward. it’s not worth being sad about what can’t be changed.”
There's something I feel is very important about Chetney that I think might be overlooked because it's perceived as simply holdover from his conceptual roots in Critmas: Chetney is a toymaker.
He works in a specific craft that isn't about creating pragmatic and useful items. These items are, non-judgmentally, frivolous. And primarily for children! He makes toys. Really, he makes objects whose sole purpose is to make someone happy, objects most often gifts people intend to give to someone else in the hopes they'll be happy.
And he deeply enjoys doing that work. He takes pride in it, and he is openly delighted to be doing it. He takes suggestions made to him very seriously, he carefully listens to what people describe they want. For those in the party who didn't make a request, he makes the decision to assess the way they present themselves and craft something based on that, rather than creating something random. He gives Artana Voe a tiny rocking horse, gives an unnamed guard a wooden coin—there's a generosity in that.
I feel like this is important, that he is someone whose chosen line of work is to create objects without a purpose other than bringing joy. They're objects that are, ultimately, sentimental. For years, centuries, he made objects of sentimentality.
It makes me feel like Chetney must really like people, and that feels especially true after how he speaks to Orym and Imogen and even that man who rented them the horses this week. He must really like sheer concept of people and the way they find small happiness in such things and the way they want to make other people happy. There must be an understanding that all people are sentimental creatures who find meaning in and attach significance to small things, who find happiness in simple things—all simple and small things, from little gifted objects to whatever else it might be.
It just.... it feels to me significant and informative to his character to remember that Chetney is not just a woodworker. He is a toymaker.
stress levels during keyfish: highest to lowest
1) matt, who had to use his phone to roll 100d6 and tell his girlfriend she got 363 points of damage and died because she jumped off a fucking cliff
2) liam, the only person who fully grasps that one of them just fucking died
3) ashley, shocked and offended at travis laughing about this
4) laura, laughing occasionally but very stressed
5) sam, who appreciates both the gravity and the humor of the situation
6) taliesin, mildly concerned but mostly amused
7) marisha, arguing with matt about physics, shaking with laughter for five minutes
8) travis, who is actively cackling throughout
content that we'll never get again because critical role has become an incredibly high-budget production: a set so poorly designed that the players are ostensibly trapped during the game and laura has to snake her way underneath the table in order to go to the bathroom
he's so beautiful.......... and these tweets are so cute..... uhu uhu
In case you were wondering what it looks like when someone takes psychic damage in real life
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