oozey mess
JVL
One Nice Bug Per Day
Peter Solarz
ellievsbear
tumblr dot com
todays bird
Misplaced Lens Cap
Product Placement
★
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
we're not kids anymore.
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ojovivo
Sade Olutola
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@flannelsandbirks
Has anyone seen those tweets going around where people are like “I wasted my skinny years thinking I was fat.”
And holy shit do I relate to that. I wish I could go back and give myself a hug and tell myself that I was beautiful and fit and healthy.
And then I realized that future me probably will feel that same way about present me. I need to stop being so hard on myself. I’m at where I’m at and I’m beautiful right here. I think I’m starting to actually believe that.
Two Teddy Bears, Many Years Later
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit. ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
ugly sobbing
Right in the childhood….
My nana used to always read me this story and I completely forgot that it existed until just now. Wow, tears.
I never post these but maybe I’ll start because who cares
Hopefully
YOU GUYS LISTEN TO MY BROTHER’S EXPLANATION FOR WHY HE GOT CAVITIES
Ya girl is down 30lbs and deadlifted 165lbs today. Feelin good.
What up Tanya Gold
Making some progress.
299 to 274lbs. Feelin good
“So, here I am. I weigh 258.6 pounds. I cannot even run a mile. Honestly, walking a mile was harder than it should have been. But, I am going to lose this weight. I am going to get my life back, and I am going to be healthy again. I am excited. I am excited to be able to go shopping with my friends. I am so excited to be able to try on clothes and actually have them fit. I am excited to feel confident enough to flirt. I am so excited to wear normal sports bras and a swimsuit. I am excited to go wake boarding, and actually enjoy being at the beach. I am excited to get to the point where exercise is fun again. When I crave the release of dopamine. I am excited to go to bed and feel tired because I have worked out that day. I am excited to be able to go backpacking and to adventure. I am excited to get back into cross country skiing, and to like sledding again. I am excited to get ALL NEW clothes. Cute clothes. I am excited to feel normal. To feel like I can join the dog pile. To be able to jump into someone’s arms. To not get a knot in my stomach when people want to build a human pyramid. I’m excited to be flirted with. I’m excited to have enough room on the couch, and to feel like I can sit on someone’s lap without crushing them. I am excited to not cringe when we take group pictures because I am always the biggest one in the picture. I am excited to not dread team building exercises. I am excited to feel comfortable sitting on the ground. To be able to sit criss-cross-Apple sauce. I am excited to try yoga. To maybe even hate yoga, but hate it for reasons other than that I am too fat to do it. I am excited to look back on my 20’s and be able to say that they were the best years of my life. I am excited for college to be the best time of my life. I am excited to be healthy. To be fit. To look good again. To feel good again. To enjoy life again. And, if those things aren’t worth the amount of work I’m about to put in, then I don’t know what is.”
—
Me 71 pounds ago (via thehistoryofmystory)
So, friends. In a year I got down to 167, and in the year after that I got back up to 240 and sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I feel like such a failure. How could I sacrifice so much, to stop when I was at a place where I was happy? But then I realized I stopped because I got discouraged. I felt like I would never make it to my goal of 140, and I was destined to always be the “fat friend”. But, looking back at old pictures, I now realize that 167 looked pretty damn good on me, and that I wasn’t the fat friend. I was just the friend. And I now weigh 240 pounds which is about 70 pounds more than I want to weigh. But today I realized something. It isn’t about the number, it is about being excited to go to active things because I am in good enough shape to keep up. It’s about all of my clothes actually fitting and not having to wear the same thing over and over again because I know that it fits. It’s about not dreading the weekends because I don’t have an excuse to say no to snowshoeing. It’s about wishing that I had enough self control to not eat that desert everyday. But here’s the thing, today I am not going to eat that dessert. I’m not going to commit to forever. Forever made me too tired last time. But today, I am going to commit to today. And tomorrow I will do my very best to commit to tomorrow. And, slowly, I will get to a place where I am happy again. You just wait and see.
My weight is something that I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’ve never left like I was good enough. My accomplishments always seemed a little less sweet because I was too heavy to really enjoy them.
Weighing in at 284.8lbs today. I was 299lbs. Working my way back down. To be honest, this is the first time I’ve ever lost weight on my own (without a personal trainer or my parents cooking all my meals). I feel very proud of that and I feel like it is going to be sustainable for the first time in my life.
Every day (no matter my weight) I am going to remember what I wrote here. I want to make that younger version of me proud and live my best life, always. I’m tired of carrying around the shame of my weight. I’m letting it go. I don’t want it anymore. It’s heavier than the weight has ever been.
What up Tanya Gold
Oh how I adore Kate McKinnon
the big gay kate gifset
“even in high school, i thought maybe there was a chance it would go away and i wouldn’t have to tell the world about it. once i knew for sure i was going to be this way my whole life, it became necessary to have everyone know.”
chubby lesbians are cute. fat lesbians are beautiful. butch lesbians are amazing. hairy lesbians are radiant. trans lesbians are gorgeous. unfashionable lesbians are superb. older lesbians are powerful. lesbians who aren’t considered attractive by society are brilliant. you don’t need to fit the standards of what men find “hot” in girls to be valid as a lesbian, a girl out there is going to think you’re the best person she’s seen in her life and that’s what matters.
(anybody can reblog)
Girl who are passionate make my heart jump. The more they share their brilliance with the world, the harder it is for me to breathe. God damn.
Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out
Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..
Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend
Bro: touche…
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Bro: so you like girls?
Me: yep
Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?
Me: maybe
Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??
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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?
Me: sure… $10?
Bro: okay
Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three
Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….
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Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU
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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?
Bro: yeah?
Friend: what’s that?
Bro: basically she’ll date anyone
Friend: think she’ll date me?
Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..
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Bro: so…how was narnia?
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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too
Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has
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Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED
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Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?
Me: ew no
Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS
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Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type
Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type
Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce
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Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?
Me: hopefully
Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??
Me: no?
Bro: dammit…
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Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur
Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you
Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!
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Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?
Me: what?
Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food
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Bro: aw fuck
Me: what?
Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!
Me: no thats okay-
Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???
