psychological striptease

flashbulb memoriae n. highly detailed,exceptionally vivid, precise, concrete. It's all in the mind.

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An open letter to my students

My dearest students,

I hope when you look back to the time when you took Psych 1, your minds would be filled with fondness. That when you think of Psych 1, you will remember it to be a fun subject and also a bit challenging. I hope, with what I know of psychology, I have shared information that will be put to use for the rest of your lives.

This may just be a general education subject for you, but with the five months that we have been together, I hope you realized the practical use of what you have learned in this subject. I also hope that at some point, I have offered relief from stress whenever I would crack jokes in class or give ridiculous examples.

As we are about to end the semester, let me leave a few words for you:

First: never stop learning. Your brain is the most important part of your body, don’t ever forget that. You know this (see also: physiological basis of behavior). Take good care of it. Nurture it.

And of course, always choose what makes you happy. Make happiness one of your top priorities. Always, always choose to be happy or find ways to be.

Lastly, I’m excited to see who you will become in the future! Please know that I will be among those people who will wait for PRC to release the results of the different board licensure exams a few years from now. I will be among those people racking their heads in anticipation to see your names on the list. Maybe, the next time we meet, you will have Arch., Engr., RMT, RPh, or even Atty. or MD attached to your name. Or you are on your way to becoming one. I hope this brings comfort.

I hope when you finally go out there, to your chosen fields, you will serve people with a good heart. As I’ve said: never ever get tired of people. And choose to be a good person. Be the better person than you think you are.

To end this, always remember: I am rooting for all of you. You are all full of possibilities, be excited for that! May life lead you where you want to be.

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. . After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to leave you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure; You really are strong, you really do have worth. And you learn, and you learn With every goodbye you learn. ~ Veronica A. Shoffstall, After a While

Sincerely, a teacher who did the best he could with the talent he had

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They say if you look close enough, you will see the marvels of the sea. So I sat on the bow to get a closer look.

I looked but only saw fragments of myself staring back at me.

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gender role, n.: I’m still in the process of stripping myself away of all conditioned ideas I have of gender. Growing up, I have been told not to play with dolls because dolls are a girls’ thing. That it’s a no-no for boys to cry. And that a lot of things are gender-based. But you know what? Fuck gender roles! I can do whatever the fuck I want and choose whatever the fuck I like because I enjoy these things. And at the end of the day, what matters most is my happiness.

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Always.

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Gods, I’ve been neglecting this blog since forever. As much as I’d want to post stuff regularly, I really don’t have the time for it like I used to. Ha, spoken like a true adult busy with “matters of consequence” and responsibilities!

Here’s a photo of when I was trying to convince myself into thinking that I'm actually preparing for my Advanced Abnormal and Clinical Psychology exam. Bringing notes around gives wonders, no? It gives me the illusion that I’m getting some studying done which makes me feel at ease and lessens my anxiety.

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This is a long overdue post of our visit to Bataan literally before the semester started (because who knows when I will be able to spare a whole weekend for a vacation). As it had always been, I was the one who looked for possible places to go to, and I fell in love with the things I saw on travel blogs and Instagram.

Of course, the Dambana ng Kagitingan is first on our list. It is a shrine that was erected on Mt. Samat in Pilar, Bataan dedicated to those who fought during World War II. I was looking forward to going up the shrine but the elevator was under construction when we went there. Bummer.

After which, we headed for Bagac to look for a place to stay. Along the way, we stopped by the Bagac Friendship Tower, a tower that symbolizes the renewed friendship between Japan and the Philippines after the Second World War.

Just a few steps away from the Bagac Friendship Tower lay the Zero Kilometer Death March Marker. It makes me sad that there weren’t anything protecting this landmark and no information whatsoever about its significance.

We found a place to stay near the beach, and the caretaker was so kind to help arrange our boat ride the next day. She even offered to make arrangements so we could also go to the heritage park called Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar.

Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar was the highlight of our visit. The park is a collection of old houses from the Spanish era. The houses were disassembled, transported to Bataan, and were carefully rebuilt piece by piece. It was a very beautiful place; every corner is Instagram-worthy. The red brick house was my favorite!

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I've been wanting to visit Ilocos for ages but since I work six days a week, it seemed impossible to go there during the semester. So while school was out during the holidays, my family decided to go for a three-day vacation in Ilocos before 2015 ended.

We spent the first day at Saud Beach Resort and Hotel in Pagudpud. The waves were calm when we went there, and there was a lot of *~white sand~*. We had lunch at the resort’s restaurant and I fell in love with their bagnet!

After which, we traveled to Laoag, which is located somewhere between Pagudpud and Vigan, to look for a place to stay for the night.

The next day, we went to Iglesia de San Agustín de Paoay (Paoay Church)--a church that was built in 1710. And of course, our visit to Paoay wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t eat at Herencia Restaurant, the birthplace of Pinakbet Pizza. We also visitied the Malacañang ti Amianan (Malacañang of the North). It was where former President Marcos stayed whenever he visited his hometown.

And for the last leg of our Ilocos trip, we went the lovely city of Vigan. Gods, Calle Crisologo was beautiful regardless of whether you go at night or in the morning! But if you want less people so you can take photos, I’d recommend going any time before 10 in the morning. Also, natural lighting! Aside from Calle Crisologo, we also went to Baluarte and Bantay Bell Tower.

There were still a lot of places to go to, but since we just allotted a day for each location, we weren’t able to go to all the places on our list. Oh well, there’s always a reason to go back!

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Wherever you are now, I hope you are reading Harry Potter with a big smile on your face. Always, Alan Rickman, always.

Thank you and good night. Rest in Peace.

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“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect; but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.”  ~The Doctor

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The 28th Oath Taking Ceremonies of Professional Teachers was held in Saint Louis University last December 20, 2015 which was also my mom’s birthday.

This is the culmination of two months and three days worth of anxiety of waiting for the LET results. And the nerve-wracking moment when I was looking for my name in the Roll of Successful Examinees. I was very lucky to have someone hold my hand while I was doing that! (If you’re reading this: I love you~)

I offer this to my very first teacher: my mom. For always pushing me to be the best person I could be and for always supporting my life choices. What could be a better birthday gift than to see your child take oath as a professional teacher?

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Because we were boys, I could only touch you in the dark. Where we pretended the sins promised by our fathers could not find us. In the path of trembling hands, the hair on our thighs rose against the night, and I dreamed the extraordinary things light would do to the parts I touched: tuft of hair, silk of foreskin, the wet pearl emerging from its sheath. As I tasted myself inside your mouth, the breath’s warm blooming, as those fig leaves lay torn by our feet, somewhere, someone was beginning to sing. I had to touch my lips to know that hymn was mine.

Ocean Vuong, “Revelation"  (via heavyvision)

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Bæsic.

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On pursuing graduate studies

I contemplate on my choices (a little over) two years after taking a detour from my plans to go to law school. I've been in this detour for almost three years now and I’m still not sure if I've had enough experiences to pursue graduate studies. I guess going into graduate school or law directly after getting my bachelor’s degree would always be my biggest “what if”.

Some of my friends immediately went to grad school after our college graduation and it kind of makes me jealous because they are almost done or are already halfway there. And then there’s me: 0 units of grad school or law. 

Aside from that, I’ve always had a dream school in mind for my graduate studies and it’s one of the things that significantly affected why I have not enrolled in grad school yet.

The Christmas break gave me time to reflect on things, and I've realized that:

Taking a detour was still a good decision because I was able to try working in the different fields of psychology. I administered and scored psychological and personality tests as a psychometrician, planned and executed trainings as a human resource assistant, and taught psychology in the university.

I have to do things at my own pace. I need to stop comparing myself with other people and start doing things the way I want them to and not because I feel pressured to do so. That the best time to pursue graduate studies is when I’m ready, not because all my friends are already pursuing their MAs.

It does not really matter what school I enroll to; because at the end of the day, it would all depend on how much I’ve learned and developed as a professional, and not how well-known the school is. Of course, a change of environment would be good, but I have to consider the practicality of my choices.

At this point, I’m still not a hundred percent convinced if I’d like to pursue M.S. Psychology. Having been exposed to a lot of possibilities with the different jobs I’ve had makes me think that this is a good plan. Psychology is my first love and I want to explore the why’s and how’s of human behavior more.

The dream to become a lawyer is still there, but that dream will have to wait. I don’t like to think of it as stalling because I’m still doing something worthwhile. I just hope that I’d still have the will and energy when I eventually decide to go to law school.

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Early last month, I was invited to give a talk on adolescent stress management at Baguio Patriotic High School.

I was hesitant to accept the invitation at first because I wasn’t sure if I could handle high school students and if I’d be able to relate with their stressors. Surprisingly, the talk went well. And while I was preparing my presentation, I realized that teenagers also experience a lot of stress (e.g. transition from childhood to adolescence, etc.).

Also, the students were really participative, so the learning was two-way. Some of them even had good and healthy coping behaviors for stress.

Yay, another thing crossed off my bucket list.

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Two of my poems got published in the 14th volume of White & Blue’s (official student publication of Saint Louis University) literary folio–Kuwaderno! Gods, it really felt good seeing my babies printed on fancy paper.

I have already posted Adverb of Time on this blog before, and I intend to post Seven Wonders (Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes) soon as well.

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One cold day in October, I decided to put on some layers because the temperature in Baguio was lower than usual.

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Life update: Yep, still alive. I just had a lot on my plate. And the anxiety of waiting for the results of the Licensure Exam for Teachers (LET) took its toll on me. Forty-eight working days. Over a month of waiting.

Oh well, I’m back.