FloaPS: Incorrect(ish) Quotes

[autism-autobot]

Flower of a Poisonous Seed Master Post!

📢Will be updated with new content!📢

Chapters:

1 + 2 & side note, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94,

Chapters continued

FloaPS Facts and Bonus Chapters

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FloaPS Bonus Content Masterpost 1

FloaPS Bonus Content Masterpost 2

If you make fan art/fan content, please @ me! I may even put it here!

Ask box is open too!

Things that you can participate in:

OC Naming:

Wukong's Kids

Celestial Soldiers (AKA Nezha's troop)

Color schemes for the house

FloaPS: Incorrect Quotes blog:

@floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes

I also have a role-play blog for Nezha:

@third-lotus-princes-posts

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Fanfic this blog is created for

@istopaskingmemate @weaverpop @ainnur @cutvdo @poisonblob @vivyainou

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

MK: So, if the problem was with Nezha's new body not working, why don't they, I don't know, make him a newer one that actually works?

RS: I asked a similar question. Apparently, doing so would actually increase the chances of a newer body being even worse. It also creates a chance of damaging the soul in the process.

RS: I'm told that's how most body-and-soul combo reincarnation disorders are gained.

MK: Oh.

MK: Yeah, that sounds like a good reason.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

So nobody really educated the Li Brothers (aside from Nezha) on different aspects of female and non-human bodies...

... which leads to Wukong filling in the blanks for them.

Muzha: Wait... the womb and the uterus are the same organ?

SWK: *seemingly appears out of nowhere* *makes a very particular clapping pattern*

Muzha: Wait, no!

SWK: 🎶Dun-da-dun-dun!🎶

Jinzha: Please, no!

SWK: It's time for: 🎶Anatomy Class!🎶

Jinzha & Muzha: Nooo!

It's too late, Nezha already locked the doors and brought out a whiteboard and charts.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Wukong, explaining what happened to the elders that "advised" him at the start of his reign:

"Technically, preventing someone from gaining immortality does not qualify as murder! ✨️The more you know!✨️"

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Nezha cried about Pokopia.

It was inevitable.

He cried to Wukong about it.

Wukong cried with him.

True love is crying over post-apocalyptic Pokémon together.

Wukong genuinely had no idea how sad the game would get.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Nezha: Mushroom! Mushroom! Wake up!

SWK: *annoyed* What is it?

Nezha: I have something to tell you!

SWK: Did someone set our yard on fire again?

Nezha: No.

SWK: Then what is it?

Nezha: There's a new Pokémon game coming out soon.

SWK: ... You woke me up from my mandatory afternoon nap for that?

Nezha: I'm sorry, I was just so excited to tell you. I really like Pokémon. Sorry.

SWK: *groans* What are the starters?

Nezha: :D!!!!

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Wukong talking about Macaque: "Why did I think this one was a good idea?"

Wukong talking about Ao Lie: "This one was pretty good."

Wukong talking about Nezha: "Upgrades, people! Upgrades!"

She loves her newest husband. :3

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

TW: mentions of death, murder, corpses,

RS: How did you and Ao Lie become best friends, anyhow?

Nezha: Well, you see, he was the only kid who kept trying to lick his elbow, and then I was the only kid with a body count, so...

RS: Oh...

Nezha: Naturally, none of the other kids wanted to play with either of us. So we played with each other.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

TW: mentions of unhealthy beauty standards, abuse,

SWK: And then those ladies commented on my stretch marks saying they know "a way to get rid of them and get rid of all of my 'extra fat' at the same time"! Can you believe them? I seriously can't understand Celestial beauty standards.

Nezha: ...

SWK: Nezhie?

Nezha: *getting visibly angry*

SWK: Nezha?

Nezha: I'm going to go show those ladies a trick I learned from my father.

SWK: Nezha, no!

Nezha: No one judges my wife like that!

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

TW: racism,

Random Celestial: And to have that Demon Ape in your home-!

Nezha: *calmly* He is not a demon, and he is not an ape, he is a monkey. If you're going to be racist, at least get his race right.

SWK: Darling, the incompetent barely know their butts from their mouths, let alone the difference between a monkey and an ape. Save your breath, this one isn't worth the oxygen.

RC: *jaw drops*

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Nezha: So my wife said-

Random Guard: Wait, I thought you had a husband?

Nezha: Well, she was my wife this morning.

Wukong's out as genderfluid, but she and Nezha have found many ways to joke and explain it to people.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

SWK: *dropping his kids + Red Son off at school* Bye kids! I love you!

Wukong's kids: Love you Mama!

RS: Hmph! *pouting because his parents forgot about him again*

SWK: Red Son, you gotta say it back!

RS: No! *stomps*

SWK: Say it or I will publicly embarrass you with my love!

RS: You're bluffing!

Qi: She's not. I suggest you do it.

~ten minutes later~

SWK: *hugging Red Son* *sobbing loudly* I love you so much!!!! I wish I could keep you in my arms forever!!! *sobs continue*

RS: All right! I get it! I love you too, Auntie.

SWK: A little louder for the people in the back.

RS: I love you too, Auntie!!!!

SWK: I love you too!!!!

SWK: *stops fake crying* And don't you ever forget that. *kisses him on the head*

~~~

*present day*

SWK: Hey, remember when I made you say "I love you" in front of everyone?

RS: *groans* Yes.

SWK: You didn't forget that I love you, did you?

RS: ... For a while... I did.

RS: But looking back, it is clear that your love for me never wavered for even a moment. You may have been the only person in the universe that did back then.

SWK: And I always will. Don't you ever forget that again.

RS: *laughs* Are you going to publicly embarrass me again?

SWK: Absolutely!

RS: ... Looking back, that was pretty funny.

SWK: Wait until I tell your Baba about that!

RS: Don't give him ideas!

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Nezha: Oh, gods!

The Entire Heavenly Military: ...

Pekoe: Why do you say that?

Nezha: Say what?

Liang: You say "Oh gods" as if you aren't a god yourself.

Yi Min: You are literally one of, if not the, most famous and most popular gods in all of China!

Nezha: Oh! Um... I've been saying that since I was a mortal boy, so I guess the habit kind of stuck.

Saying "Oh gods" isn't a common phrase in the Celestial Realm, and it's usually only used by mortal-born deities.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

(At the Celestial Army's Mess Hall)

Liang: So, Nezha, what's your favorite gym?

Nezha: *wasn't paying attention to the conversation* Uh... If I had to choose, I usually end up liking the Water Type gyms. They usually have unique set ups and double battling. I like double battling.

Yi Min: ... Are you talking about Pokémon?

Nezha: ... Are you not?

Pekoe: We meant the real-life gyms, Nezha!

Nezha: Oh! Yeah, I just train in my backyard.

Liang: -_- Dude.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Chapter 158 be like:

This is Nezha:

Nezha likes his personal life.

This is Li Jing:

Li Jing also likes Nezha's personal life.

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Jinzha: Where should I put this?

Nezha & SWK: *look at each other knowingly* In the square hole.

Jinzha: ...

Jinzha: I beg your pardon?

Muzha: Little Brother, you've been hanging out with that monkey for too long.

Nezha: You mean my boyfriend?

Context:

[floaps-incorrect-ish-quotes]

Jinzha: Father! Muzha picked a fight with the crippled people!

*sounds of fighting coming from the other room*

Jinzha: And the crippled people are winning!

Muzha: They're not winning!