Abby

Ask and messages are always open :) Talk to me

[pukicho]

hey puki will a little pspsps calm you down

[longseasons]

[babybear]

newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence

[notkatniss]

Im a bit drunk, its 3;00am. But Why does Bebe yoda give the uppy arms.. Why does mister mandalorian immediately pick him up .. why does no one involved with this production car e about my well being

[notkatniss]

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

[thebootydiaries]

i’ve been having way too much fun on twitter lately

[skincarelair]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[anthropologyofwater-deactivated]

from now on i’m only referring to people by their last name so we can have an emotionally charged moment months later when i finally use their first name 

[javcdi]

me, listening to Hadestown, knowing full well how the myth of Orpheus goes

[beaky-peartree]

captain hook: arrrg i miss vine. twas me fav’rit app

smee: but capn! there’s a new app! its not exactly the same but it’s very similar!

captain hook: what’s it called?

smee: um

[rickygoldsworths]

buzzfeed unsolved: *is literally about unsolved cases*

ryan bergara: but for now the case will remain … unsolved

me:

[moved-to-transzoemurphy-deactiv]

me: has watched deh over 20 times

me the second i hear the first notes of good for you, every single time, without fail

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,

[wuackamole]

hate to burst your fantasy, but

1) vampires don’t show up in film

2) vampires can’t cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

you’ve got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you’re wrong, but on the other hand, saying “you clearly didn’t read twilight” doesn’t exactly make you look like the bad guy here

[theevilanonblog]

You wanna get killed by the Vulturi? This how how you get killed by the Vulturi.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

what’s the guy in the volturi who tracks other vampires gonna say when they’re looking for me???? “yeah I have visual on her….she’s…underwater. really deep there aren’t even any fish around her. yep, she’s definitely somewhere in the ocean.”

like cool get started see ya never

[thoodleoo]

some people today complain that having the internet at our fingertips has spoiled millennials but like, i’m so glad i can look shit up whenever i want to. like can you imagine what it’d be like living in ancient greece and having to rely on herodotus when he says shit like “lions can only give birth once bc their cubs claw their way out of the womb”? i’d have to be like “o damn, guess that’s true” before going back to farming and dying of malaria bc i just thought my neighbor was cursing me again and didn’t go see a doctor

[tricktster]

a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.

[unnameablethings]

op u live up to ur username