flowerish_cherry_blue

future-to-be book blog | writer's blog

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

welcome to my book blog!

actually, the idea itself was very spontaneous, but i would welcome anyone who might be interested!

you can expect the following on this blog:

🎼 book reviews

🎼 quotes from books

🎼 recommendation lists.

i'll probably add some playlists from time to time, and you can always ask me anything!

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2025 reading wrapped: part 2

careful, spoilers ahead!

the second part of my 2025 reading results, not so many stories left, but still, enough of them to look through!

🎼the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry | 1943

month: august

my rating: 5/5

my all time favorite, the first classics book that i have read as a child and keep re-reading years later. didn’t plan to read it that summer, but got a special edition from a friend of mine. simply love it for the lessons it teaches people – responsibility is important, you cannot abandon something or someone that you took under your power.

also, i always thought that it shows the duality of wealth and the way that it rules human cognition. most of the people somehow cannot see wealth and responsibility separately. and one more thing to mention is the nature, the planet of the little prince is rich in trees and that one rose, but other things that the story incorporates like sands and stars, the animals were … don’t know how to explained, but i would say that they are essential part of the book.

🎼check&mate by ali hazelwood | 2023

month: august

my rating: 5/5

i have posted my review as soon as i finished it back in august and my opinion hasn’t changed a bit. it was the only modern romantic novel and not a fantasy which doesn’t happen often in here. The story was set in the world of chess which is an all the time interest for me as some other topics, it covers relationship of people from the same field however with the different background.

ali’s books are great pieces of writing in my opinion even though i read only check&mate and love hypothesis, but the sense of humor, the language and style are so awesome, don’t think that i will ever regret reading her books.

mallory and nolan were great, they had troubles that people of their age usually encounter – the unclear vision of future, entering adult life and romantic/platonic relationship. most of my thought were already explained earlier, honestly, nothing more to add, wish to see an adaptation one day.

🎼bred in the bone by cassandra clare from better in black | 2025

month: november

my rating: 5/5

as soon as i received the better in black file i wasted no time to go and read the stories on my favorite couples. bred in the bone is a story about julian and emma encountering someone unexpected – emma of thule.

not going to lie, during the period of the dark artifices i wasn’t a fan of julian and emma’s couple since the half of lord of shadows, i was much more interested in kristina&mark&kieran loveline. i understood my mistake years later – julian and emma were actually dope, that is why i loved coming back to the secrets of blackthorn hall and bred in the bone was no exception.

have plenty things to say on this one beginning with the title - the second i took it in i got goosebumps, literally and i was intrigued how the story conveyed it. The obstacles in the relationship that emma and julian faced were an example to show that doesn’t matter how long you are together and how well you know each other you might have second-thoughts and doubts because of your own vision and personality. meeting emma of thule, seeing julian calling real emma sweetheart – i missed it, greatly and whole-heartedly, felt nostalgia and strong desire to go and re-read lady midnight.

🎼the time of two by cassandra clare from better in black | 2025

month: november

my rating: 5/5

that one was about clace, really missed old couples of the tmi and tid, i was happy to see them. i even was a bit shocked by the choice of clary and jace because we see them almost everywhere and we know that we will see them in twp, but never mind. that one tells about their preparation for the wedding and the story of maryse and her brother - max.

the topic of the shadowhunters who decided to turn away from the world is some kind of a secret and to see the reasons behind these decisions is interesting. i loved to see jace and clary finding out about max, the story of his life and the hardship of his decisions.

the time of two does not relate to jace and clary only as a title, it is also related to maryse and max – one day the time will set them again, together, to reunite, to pick up on everything that was lost and that way, the time of two will come again. their relationship was described by cassie as trustworthy enough at least before the circle, i would love to see the further development of their background.

🎼too wise to love by cassandra clare from better in black | 2025

month: november

my rating: 4.5/5

god damn, never expected, but always wanted. about thirteen years ago, when I read tmi, it was really interesting, how the relationship between sebastian and the seelie queen started, what it led to and how it finished. the two of them are antagonists of the story, however, sebastian represents a bigger evil and the seelie queen felt fear along with the attraction at some point.

from the side of sebastian it was an option that looked clary-like, so no questions. the love, if it can be called so, was based on the personal benefit and nothing more – the goal of queen was to get an heir, hoping that sebastian will stay, however, she was the one to make a mistake and really fell in love. sebastian has never seen her as equal or as betrothed, he used her, again, for the personal benefit, so when he died the suffering came to ash.

there, i want to talk about the title, too wise to love is not only about the queen and sebastian as a romantic couple, but also about ash and nene as a platonic couple or mother-son dynamics. it contains a lesson – one should be wise to not love blindly; love blinded queen’s eyes and she didn’t realize her situation sooner and love blinded nene, as she forgot her role and took everything too personally.

🎼city of broken hearts by cassandra clare from better in black | 2025

month: november

my rating: 4.5/5

The title and the sense of nostalgia are so strong i just can’t. was waiting for that one so much because sizzy’s story in tmi had a complicated ending. i know that they had some further development in tsa but we haven’t seen a lot of them since the announcement of the marriage. i thought that it will be something more like going to disneyland, confessing love and finding demons, but hey, that was far better than any of the expectation that i had.

The story of simon and isabelle show the moment of a crisis that people somehow might go through at some points of their relationship and it features the demoness ajatara, introduced in the other story. izzy still possesses this aura of a coldblooded person and simon has his shyness on, that way to see the struggle because of the curse was sad as it hinted on some kind of crisis that occurred. really adored how cassie tried to show different stages that we can go through in relationship that are already established.

🎼the beautiful ajatara by cassandra clare from better in black | 2025

month: november

my rating: 3/5

the most anticipated and the least liked story, unfortunately. don’t want to judge too much because i am not cassie and none of us, except of her, are. for sure, she sees better how to develop the story, but the beautiful ajatara became my personal disappointment. as far as i know, before publishing, fandom thought that the story will feature james and corldelia’s exchange of second runes, instead we got another relationship, or marriage, crisis.

cordelia feels like she is stuck and being stolen by the ajatara, she has only chance which is james, who has to save her and not only. his mission was to show that stability isn’t bad – it is actually a very good thing which keeps you at bay when facing troubles. why lucy became the storyteller for it no one understands and knows, but okay. can’t tell much, just, didn’t expect it to be that way.

🎼lady chatterley’s lover by d.h. lawrence | 1928

month: december

my rating: 1.5/5

finished it on the december 30th, felt like the last second disappointment. had big hopes on it, wanted to read it for many years, but never thought that i would regret it that much.

the story is about connie, young lady chatterley, a wife of an upper-class baronet clifford, who was paralysed after the war. i didn’t like the language, hated the repetetion without reasoning, hated mellors. gosh, oliver was such a nothing, honestly saying. if the author had put more efforts into the story and emotional part of it, rather than trying to tell in each and every line that sex and money are all that people have on mind, it could have been better.

at some point, i got a glimpse of idea of social class inequity, which was good, like the contrast between upper- and lower-class, okay, nice. everything else was shitty – the character being sex-obsessed or sex-focused only, poorly written outside of it, connie wanting love, not realizing she meant sex by love, oliver was a nasty man, mrs. bolton was a rat. nothing good, just plenty of bad memories, poorly written comparisons and euphemisms, hadn’t hated the book that much since kafka on the shore.

to conclude everything, 2025 gave in total 21 stories, some were good, some were average, but i would say that it was worth it. each and every book leaves its blueprint on our lives and that, in my opinion, leads to some changes in our worldview.

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2025 reading wrapped: part 1

careful, spoilers ahead!

finally, i am ready to present my 2025 reading wrapped! as a full-time MA student and a part-time teacher, i didn’t have that much time to read, which is sad, but i still got something to write about. some of the stories were just re-reading, some were new, so, let's get on it!

🎼a wild sheep chase by haruki murakami | 1973

month: january 

my rating: 4/5

honestly, picked it up randomly as a christmas gift, so, did not expect much, but subconsciously knew it would be good (sorry, i am murakami biased). only after some searches got to know that it was a final book of the rat series. i am still having thoughts on reading first two books, the story of the rat himself is intriguing me to do so.

can't say too much about it as it was a year ago, i have definitely forgotten some key points of the book. generally, it was good, and somehow, still felt that it was among murakami's first works because you can see it in the style and language (but in my opinion it was more murakami-like comparing to his 1Q84 series). all in all, it was a great start for the year.

🎼a sea change by cassandra clare from careful of books |2025

month: april 

my rating: 3.8/5

the story follows matthew as he journeys on an ocean liner in 1904, where he encounters an infestation of vampires. i have shared my thought earlier in 2025 just as i read it, twice, and after some overthinking and oversharing, i guess my opinion hadn't changed.

i was actually excited to read it for a long time, was literally living online in twitter/x and tumblr, waiting for the info on it. also hearing and reading all the assumptions on it, the main topic of which was matthew's love interest.

still got the feeling like it was a lame excuse from cassie's side (not offensing and not judging) to couple our dear matthew with the copy of james, but i am kinda good with that, even though was hoping it would be lily, the dearest vampire babygirl of ours.

🎼in fire foretold by cassandra clare from careful of books | 2025

month: may  

my rating: 3.5/5

oooof, that one. got so many thoughts on it on my tablet that i still remember (partially). can't say that i was disappointed by it, at the same time might say that cassie might feel pressured because of it. i mean she's been doing the shadowhunter chronicles for so long and in fire foretold is like a fresh air for her, from my point of view.

few things that i wanted to mention, first of all, it had jude×cardan vibes almost each and every page, like alix bickering with her friend's brother, with the teacher and so on. also, the mix of the themes in the story - magic, royalty, portal romantasy - felt a bit too much.

the last thing was the one that i loved the most - a father figure. might sound weird, but hear me out - throughout all the stories and books that cassie had written the fathers were either dead or evil or almost-dead. and it is very important because the relationship within family builds up a personality, and here, we know that alix's father really cared about her and he is probably alive and i hope must be looking for her. in the end, i got some mixed feelings from that story but who knows what the final version, the book, will be like.

🎼once upon a broken heart by stephanie garber | 2021

month: june

my rating: 4/5

that was a hard period of studying year, but somehow i made it, literally devoured the first book, next two came slower cause i was busy and hella scared to be a uni dropout…

the whole trilogy is not bad, but it looks like miss garber was in a hurry and there are those lame excuses as a result. all the tropes except of evajacks are forgotten, friends come and they go, for example lala. all the background characters, chaos/castor, lala, luc, marisol (hope it is correct name of eva's sister) - they were underdeveloped. i would really love to see the lalachaos arch, and also the evolution of evajacks, thanks god stephanie announced new book on them.

so, i would love to rate each book within series separately and that way first comes once upon a broken heart.

honestly saying, took me about three of four tries to finally start it. still remember how i tried to read it on my third and fourth year of BA, but it never went well, just couldn't continue. but this time i had a paperback (finally!) and it was now or never situation. the first book has gone really well, loved the plot (haven't read the caraval series btw), always wanted to read something cupid-themed, don't know how to explain it properly, but the way that story flowed and things changed, the tension between jacks and eva just got me. first few chapters were kind of a nonsense for me because what do you mean a girl came to pray for her lover and next thing she sees is a saint alive and next thing happening to her is becoming a stone? all in all, the first book was great, loved it a lot, gave that strong ya aftertaste, which i was missing lately. literally re-told it to each and every girly at my workplace and to my friends as well, got them listening with the mouth wide-opened. 🎼the ballad of never after by stephanie garber | 2022

month: june

my rating: 4.5/5

might even say that it was my most favorite book in the trilogy. read it for a bit longer because of being in mid-exam state. what i deeply loved in this book was the story of royal families, valors specifically, as soon as they introduced aurora i knew she was the bitch lol. but generally saying, i couldn't stop reading their background trying to figure out who was who, who related to whom. finally, i saw the friction develop between jacks and eva, like finding stones because of personal goals, but jacks using them to save eva (i cried my eyes out).

the time they spent together in the hollow and the whole archer-fox curse - they did it to me. can't even explain it, because my memory was of a golden fish. but hell, i cried and laughed, i kicked my pillows - i did it all. nevertheless, the second i finished i was like "what have i just read?!" - it was really complex for me to sum up everything i got from this book, but it was actually amazing. loved how stephanie developed jacks and eva's relationship, the plot with fates and the family of valors, the curse and the tragic end (hate apollo), all the fanarts that i saw - they all were just perfect.

🎼a curse for true love by stephanie garber | 2023

month: june

my rating: 2.5/5

honestly saying, didn't like it. it felt like stephanie had a five-years gap between tbona and acftl and the good half of it was a hell of a ride for me. boring, with the lame excuses, nasty apollo and all this amnesia trop. talking about apollo, hate him with my whole heart from the reader's perspective, but stephanie gave him a good development as an antagonist. the whole curse story… should i even start?

it was pretty clear from the start that jacks was the archer. but the way that its true nature was found out? no, thanks. because blaming it on the magnificent north... emmmm… ewwwww? aurora is still the bitch, she and apollo are a perfect match. but the scene where eva kisses jacks and doesn't die with the "oh, i just forgot that i need to breathe" thing - my smile has never faded that quickly, i swear, it was soooo baaaad. but I don’t want to be a judge, it is just my personal opinion. One of the advantages was the option with multiple epilogues, that was a nice idea honestly.

🎼the folk of the air series by holly black | 2018-2020

month: july

my rating: 6/5

don't have too many things to say about the folk of the air, have read it about five times with a couple of my friends. always loved it because it’s just the best example of enemies-to-lovers trope and i still can't find anything as good as it was. jurdan are still one of the best for me in the mentioned trope but each and every time i notice something new in their dialogues and actions, just simply love it. no more, no less. still hate lock and tarin, but i guess i started to be more attentive to nicasia as her story is about to come.

🎼how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories by holly black | 2020

month: july

my rating: 5/5

never picked it up fully before, just read a story or two from the collection. that time i had a chance to read it full. Not so many things to tell about it, but there were stories of cardan’s childhood and I wanted to thank holly personally for showing this part of him.

because it all builds up from childhood, I mean the personality shaping, and the way that lady asha and eldred, as well as few siblings, treated him was quite… nasty. and if he struggles to get through it and still be himself, i would say that nicasia and lock’s relationship changed him completely.

that is why i am pretty satisfied with the relationship between cardan and jude, it is based on true faces (as much as it was possible) and honest fears, maybe disgust they share towards others – those emotions are quite vivid. and the last story of the collection is the exact perfect ending, but his story is not over, i hope.

🎼the stolen heir duology by holly black | 2023-2024

month: july

my rating: 3.5/5

ahhhh, that was a pain in my neck. the first book was hobbit-like journey as my friend called it and i absolutely agree, thanks it was short. loved some moments, of course, and i would say that oak grew up with cardan as an example and a father-figure (not literally!), it can be seen in the way he acts and the way he speaks - like father, like son they say.

relationship between oak and wren felt a bit weird, didn't get the idea of their love, because shared moments of childhood that were shown in jude's series never felt like a beginning of love, more like an understanding. when it came to the prisoner's throne i was like "what the hell is going on there?" - the path from a charming prince to disloyal puppy took less time than i expected.

nevertheless, liked the ending with the witch and the heart secret, scared my ass off when cardan was hurt, was shocked with the ghost's fate, loved how everything ended up between hyacinth and tiernan, wren having wings, like hello?! but the last chapter or two felt a bit … strange i would say. i mean oak and wren plotline, i don't quite understand what they will do, like marry, become lovers, consorts, kill each other, which one is right one; it is obvious, of course, but the way that it was given to readers is blurred.

🎼the darkest part of the forest by holly black | 2015

month: july

my rating: 3.9/5

wanted to pick up that one for a long time but was never brave enough. the story tells about twins - ben and hazel who had once found a coffin in the midst of the forest, as soon as some strange things start to happen the body in the coffin goes missing.

don’t know why it took me so long to read it but actually cannot say much about it. severin is an interesting character, was always interested about the story of his life and the king aka father kicking him out of the court. i was amused by the key problem - love, because there are difficulties about ben’s feelings towards severin and the same about hazel who admired jack. outside of it, the plot with hazel being a daytime schoolgirl and nighttime knight, sounds like jude duarte’s dream.

guess i have some regrets about not reading it earlier – it might have changed perception of the further stories and also it was refreshing for me. i would dare to say that the written language, because it was in the period of developing, reminded me of my favorite book from holly – the coldest girl in coldtown.

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currently reading better in black. god, i missed my babies sooo muuuch and it's literally the only thing making me smile and laugh nowadays.

like the poem citation before jemma story??? the bittersweet aftertaste of clace trip??? they really got me.

next stop is re-reading lady midnight 'cause this julian blackthorn yearning won't pass by itself.

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book review: check & mate by ali hazelwood | 2023

careful, might contain spoilers!

summary:

mallory greenleaf is done with chess. every move counts nowadays. after the sport led to the destruction of her family four years earlier, mallory's focus is on her mom, her sisters, and the dead-end job that keeps the lights on. that is, until she begrudgingly agrees to play in one last charity tournament and inadvertently wipes the board with notorious "kingkiller" nolan awyer: current world champion and reigning bad boy of chess.

nolan's loss to an unknown rook-ie shocks everyone—especially mallory. what's even more confusing? His desire to cross pawns again. what kind of gambit is nolan playing? the smart move would be to walk away. resign. game over. but mallory's victory opens the door to sorely needed cash prizes and, despite everything, she can't help feeling drawn to the enigmatic strategist….

as she rockets up the ranks, mallory struggles to keep her family safely separated from the game that wrecked it in the first place. and as her love for the sport she so desperately wanted to hate begins to rekindle, mallory quickly realizes that the games aren't only on the board, the spotlight is hotter than she imagined, and the competition can be fierce(-ly attractive. and intelligent…and infuriating…)

my opinion:

to begin with…. i'd like to confess, that i haven't read a novel, even more a ya novel, for that long, it felt so freaking good and right. also, was never into chess and even had to go google chess board to remind myself positions and figures.

starting with the story, we follow mallory as she struggles to understand her future perspectives of life - being both a burden, as she thought, and the caregiver, again, as she thought, for her family; being unable to continue studies as most school graduates do and in need to work, to keep everything working and running at her place. i think she is a great portrait made of all the problems, insecurities that people have at this very age. i saw many readers saying so and can't help but relate myself.

therefore, being fired from her job, she gets to the point that no other option except for chess will give her at least the sense of stability in the financial matter. but she has never thought that it would become enormously tough because of the nolan sawyer - world number one player who is low-key into her, and even more, the sexism and gender inequality within world of chess, especially in the face of malte koch. also, she seemed to see that maybe, it was time to let go of what happened in her family, her father - all because of chess.

talking about male characters, honestly saying, nolan is the personification of all that girl desires - sugary sweet, mannered as a gentleman, well-built, hella rich and head over hills for this one girl. but i still felt him being a bit hollow just because of some issues with expressing his emotions: when mallory feels as if she has gone to moon and back, he seems to be extra calm. but who knows, maybe i'm imagining things.

malte koch - a damn bitch no one likes. i understand the role of this kind of character quite well, and it is not simply about him being misogynist - he is the very mirror of gender inequality and the glass ceiling that male and female both face. from time to time, i forgot about this very problem mentioned in book, but when mallory was the first female to win world championship it gave me some food to think. like how many more areas of human activity are the same. i thought about sports in total, after about medicine (have read the love hypothesis and also thought about that), mining, engineering, education and other fields where we come face to face with obstacles in the form of stereotypes and presumptions people carry in their minds.

and those are the reasons why i like ali hazelwood's books - they are easy to get through, they are relevant to current problems and issues, they are so… real, like you can see yourself in characters, can relate, isn't it amazing?

the thing i did not like, but understood on plot-matter-level is sabrina. oh gosh, this giiiiirl. when mallory called her bitch, i was that much satisfied, could have motivated her into a slap as addition. at first, sabrina was all "i can helps" and "i can works", but mallory as the preson who sacrificed her teen-age didn't want the same for her sister. and after that, she became the pain in the neck. i know that being a teenager is not that easy, but damn, can you try to be more … i don't know… grounded? what i mean, is that she should be grateful and not complaining about her elder sis - who is ripping her ass off - playing a parent. and that last thing was when she started whining about dinner. i know that mallory's reaction to that is the unhealthiest, but i would do the exact same thing as a person who does a lot for family myself, but never being even thanked.

the next is easton-mallory friendship. when i say the book hit me hard i really mean it. has gone through this type of friendship twice - once successful, once unsuccessful. and i am a mallory type of friend, that always feels like disturbing people from their life, intrusive. but the difference is that my friends at least tried to text me back, not leaving me on read, they made time for me. but the way easton treated mal was too hurting for me. i mean, she is the one who pulled her back into all that chess thing, who pushed her face to chest into meeting sawyer and then…. then she ghosted her. and came back like nothing ever happened and i felt soooo bad when she made mal the one to blame: never told about hot guy you are dating, never told about starting chess as job again and winning. girl, c'mon, you were the one ignoring, you were the one never ever telling about hottie you are into, mallory tried to keep in touch. tanu was more of a friend, that easton was, honestly saying.

speaking of secondary characters, defne and oz, tanu and emil, darcy - they were extremely nice. oz was one of my fav with his behaviour and defne giving this dangerous woman vibes, shish, loved it. emil with his smiles and jokes got me so well, and tanu being the support for both mallory and nolan is amazing, darcy being the biggest fan of her sister.

and last to mention, the sense of humour that ali hazelwood possesses is chef's kiss, loved it in the love hypothesis, loved it even more here. remember, doesn't matter how bad the ideas and plot twist are, the great sense of humour does a lot.

so, to sum things up:

family topics as well as family trauma are so well-expressed. maybe some moments need more work, but, unfortunately we need to accept that a lot of people around the world go through difficulties in their families, and some may see the issues they experience reflected, like making people feel that they are not boiling alone in this pot.

the love trope was said to be enemies-to-lovers, but i would say that it's more of she fell first, but he fell harder… never mind, tags are not that important. relationship between nolan and mallory were so good, the way he never positioned it as just one night stand at first, he always said "i want to play with you", like she was the riddle unsolved, equition to which he had no answer - yet. he was interested to learn about her, but the only way he knew was through chess. it literally gave me shiver.

friendship sucked a little, even though, i got the idea why it was that way. still, easton was not the friend mal told something special, it was either nolan, or darcy, or tanu, but not easton - the bff.

the topics hidden deep inside the book made me think a lot: the misogyny, the sexism, the prejudice we carry in our minds, in our education and culture are so terrifying. makes you wonder if there is a safe place for women and men, where they won't be judged, won't be suppressed by stereotypes and biases because of what they chose to do. looking back at my career and education, i see so many examples of it, makes one question why are people so angry with each other…

in the end i dare to say that it was not just a book, it was the book. because this year was hella reading swamp, managed to finish wild sheep chase in january and picked next book only in june. i've read/re-read 12 books in total since june.

but only check & mate made me giggle, kick my sheets, slap my palms on my thighs, it even made me cry, which i did not expect at all and it was good, it was for the first time in this two months, that i hurried to finish book because i was interested, and not because i felt somehow obliged. because all these hushed interactions, hidden secrets, mind-games were something.

p.s.: the second i finished the book, i remembered that once i read about people initially taking chess as something intimate as sex is, and that thought made the aftertaste thousand times better.

my rating:

5/5

“weren’t you the one who chose kasparov over getting laid?” i say, petulant, whiny. when i open my eyes, his smile is faint.

“and you think it’s because i want to play you less than i did kasparov?”

“of course. why else— oh.” i close my eyes again. “oh.”

“can i kiss you?”

“but our game— ”

“i resign. you win. can i kiss you?”

“no! i mean . . . why?”

“because i want to.” he’s being patient. why am i being a total wreck while he is being patient? “you don’t?”

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

still trying to get through «in fire foretold». gosh, it's either i will finish it, or it will finish me...

[flowerish-cherry-blue]

book review: a sea change (short novella from careful of books) by cassandra clare | 2025

careful, spoilers ahead!

summary (none of it in fact):

the story follows matthew as he journeys on an ocean liner in 1904, where he encounters an infestation of vampires.

my opinion:

long story short, guess i would say the same things others say - the story was nice, too short and made me cry twice ('cause i read it twice).

but that would not be interesting, so let's go to the long discussion.

• honestly saying, i didn't have expectations about it, i was just waiting, as a hatiko, for the story drop, because i wanted to know what has happened to matthew, he was one of my favourite characters and the evolution of his from drunk and martyr (in some way) to happy and loved person was something like a must have for me.

i have no clue why, but subconsciously i understood how much i related to him, like indecisiveness, feeling like you are the core of all the problems - due to this, i wanted to know what will happen to him next.

so starting with the plot, i can say that it was intriguing me since i heard about it, but once again, i was relying too much on the promise of boy finding a true love finally. as many fans who have read the story, i would agree that it was too short, and it was quite hard for me to adapt/dive back into the world of shadowhunters withing only 70-something pages. when i was reading it for the second time, i understood that i missed a lot of detailes within first two chapters, and i felt like the love line was a bit hurried. literally, one minute ago, matthew was choking (after nightmare and generally being choked) an next they are already kissing and everything. (also i was waiting for magnus to appear out of nowhere in the most «needed» moment as usual) and that is what i really want to talk about

• a lot of people might hate me after this, but i thought that his endgame would be a vampire girl. btw, as some fans suspected, i thought that maybe matthew would end up with lily, but timeline was wrong. don't get me wrong, sylvain is a perfect match for him, but pairing matthew with the boy seemed to me as such a lame excuse. yes, he failed twice with girls - being rejected at first by lucie, his parabatai's sister, after he was rejected by cordelia, his parabatai's wife(!!!). so when i understood that sylvain was endgame (second page lol), i had a thought, if he looks so much like james, maybe matthew just wanted to be coupled up with james? because literally, almost in each description of sylvain we have remarks like "as james", "darker than james' eyes" an so on.

• another thing is that i got the feeling, accompanying me for these two read-throughs, that sylvain was a stalker in some way. for sure, matthew has been to paris so many times, the possibility of our french guy seeing/meeting him was quite high, but just this passage proved me right, because math was also shocked that someone, a stranger to him, knows that much about his life.

• except of this, i liked sylvain, god knows how long i've being waiting for a french protagonist, if not as the main lead, at least as the secondary main. and when he spoke some french, oh, it did me, 100% it did. one more thing is that i had some troubles visualising sylvain because of constant "like james" but smoking. all in all, he was a good idea, and here i would agree with others, in case he appeared outside of this story, maybe within tlh, or in his own novella, he would be hella popular. the stories of his tyrant father, his parabatai loss were so sad to me, they left me welling up.

• the secondary story about hardship of being a vampire was very nice, i felt some sort of sympathy towards melody and her case, the way her brother turned away from her. can't say that there was something extremely interesting for me, but i would say that it gave me some sherlock holmes' investigation vibes, and that's why i simply liked it.

• last but not least, the path of redemption. it is closely connected with matthew coping up with the guilt and loss of christopher. that was tough, honestly, each and every nightmare of his about kit made me cry. even though i read it twice, at the second time i cried even harder. when kit died in chot, i guess it didn't get me that much, for sure it was sad and everything, but i cannot recall myself crying about it. but now i felt it all, thanks to our boy's dreams. just image how much pain did he experience after kit's death. when he talked to sylvain about his guilt in case of lucas, i immediately thought, «but matthew, isn't it the same for you with kit?», because he did not kill him, he just couldn't save him. so why be so harsh with yourself, when you tell everyone that in the same kind of situation they should let go?

• the last dream about christopher left me in tears, for something about 20 minutes, i had difficulty coping up with my emotions, because it hurt me. even though i have never lost a friend in that way, i lost someone dear to me, i have to let go of some people and i still blame myself for what has happened during the times we were friends and etc. that is why i wanted to see where it will lead matthew, because i wanted to know that this type of thing may occur to me one day as well.

to conclude everything, i want to say that a sea change hit all the right spots. it gave me the needed happy end of matthew's story, knowing all the things that has happened in his life, while he is still so young. once again, a lot of fans related to him, and i hope that in him, they so the possibility of their own happy ending. also, i understood how much i missed cassie's writing, her language and humor implemented within works are one of a kind indeed.

my rating:

3.8/5

«what if,» he said to sylvain, «we discover that the first time we are on land together, we can no longer stand each other? maybe we only work when we are bouncing around atop the waves.»

«then i shall buy us a very large bathtub,» said sylvain. he pressed his lips to matthew's temple, and matthew half-closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from smiling. «or drag you off to live with me on a succession of boats. because i am not going to be without you, matthew fairchild. you, ot your ridiculous dog.»

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obsidio by amie kaufman & jay kristoff

«i was thinking,» he murmurs. «there'a billion different versions of you out there, in a trillion different universes. and i still can't get over how lucky i am that, out of all those versions, you're the one that's mine.»

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book review: five feet apart by rachael lippincott | 2018

summary:

can you love someone you can never touch?

stella grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. at this point, what stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. six feet apart. no exceptions.

the only thing will newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. he couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

will’s exactly what stella needs to stay away from. if he so much as breathes on stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. either one of them could die. the only way to stay alive is to stay apart. but suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. it feels like punishment.

what if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

my opinion:

to begin with, i have a history of getting to know this book. of course, i heard about its existence only after watching the movie. but my hands came to her almost 5 years later, and how many times i stopped by its shelf in stores… it's hard to count.

so here it is! as for the book itself, i was satisfied, i will immediately note a kind of happy ending, which i lacked in the movie and the emotions that i felt myself.

although i won't gloss over the mediocrity of the plot, in terms of the exhaustion of such a theme, the love between ill people, i saw such a thing and later i will tell you. at the same time, none of the characters did not cause me irritation, i empathized with all of them and honestly, with pleasure, watched the development of the book from both sides of will and stella.

the language is lame in places from time to time, and i'm not sure if this was the author's first work, but practice makes perfect, ya know?

now, let's have a look at the next few points:

• as i mentioned above, the book reminds me of something and that is the fault in our stars by john green, and no, i'm not trying to compare them, but these books have a similar underlying theme of doomed love. that why i think i liked five feet apart more, again due to the fact that the beloved characters are alive by the end.

• the book made me cry and that's fine, i understood very well the situation described in the book because i have experienced somethimg like in my live and those feelings and things still terrefy me.

• i think the author went a little overboard when she made stella such a control freak, yes i understand what it was about, but still. control yourself, but not everyone around you, sweetheart.

• i also want to say a word about the parents in this book, i mean we are shown two models of family and they are not the happiest - a single mom and a divorced couple that broke up because of tragedy. honestly, i am very happy with the attitude of the parents towards their children, even though they were the very templates of their types.

• poe's death shocked me, it was not so easy to bear, as stella herself thought that death just follows her around and takes away her beloved ones. in some ways it was comparable to augustus' death in the fault in our stars.

• as i noted earlier, in some places the writing was a bit tempestuous in terms of descriptions, but i haven't encountered this very often and i'm glad i didn't.

so, i want to say that I really enjoyed this book, i think that all the time i waited to read it was worth it. and it brought me some relief because i cried and was able to let my emotions out

my rating:

4/5

«If i’m going to die, i'd like to actually live first.»

«don’t think about what you’ve lost. think of how much you have to gain. live, stella.»

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clockwork prince by @cassandraclare

«you speak of sacrifice, but it is not my sacrifice i offer. it is yours i ask of you,» he went on. «i can offer you my life, but it is a short life; i can offer you my heart, though i have no idea how many more beats it shall sustain. but i love you enough to hope that you wil not care that i am being selfish in trying to make the rest of my life - whatever length - happy, by spending it with you. i want to be married to you, tessa. i want it more than i have ever wanted anything else in my life.» he looked up at her through the veil of silvery hair that fell over his eyes. «that is,» he said shyly, «if you love me, too.»

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book recommendation list #3

• howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones [fantasy]

• the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry [french classics]

• mort by terry pratchett [sci-fi&fantasy]

• sturdust by neil gaiman [ya&fantasy]

• five feet apart by rachael lippincott [romance]

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an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir

all the beauty of the stars means nothing when life here on earth is so ugly.

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howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones

«i think we ought to live happily ever after,» and she thought he meant it. sophie knew that living happily ever after with howl would be a good deal more hair-raising than any storybook made it sound, though she was determined to try. «it should be hair-raising,» added howl.

«and you'll exploit me," sophie said.

«and then you'll cut up all my suits to teach me.»

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book review: the beautiful by renée ahdieh | 2019

summary:

in 1872, new orleans is a city ruled by the dead. but to seventeen-year-old celine rousseau, new orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in paris. taken in by the sisters of the ursuline convent along with six other girls, celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. she soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as la cour des lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic sébastien saint germain. when the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of la cour des lions, celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

when more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, celine and new orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose — one celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. as the murders continue to go unsolved, celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface.

my opinion:

wow, it may have taken me a little while to read it, but geez, that was good. the author's style and language surprised me, all the descriptions, the intrigue... It was something.

i didn't immediately realize where this book was supposed to be about vampires, as that part was revealed almost at the end. and overall I started reading because it was in top rated for vampires. gosh, and that raft twist about the killer － i know that so many authors who write about that time use that trick, kind of making the killer look like jack the ripper. and even though it sounds fullish, I like it a lot, it adds a kind of detective flavor that i sometimes miss in books.

as i noted above, i enjoyed the language and writing style of renée ahdieh, for those who are non-native speakers like me, I think this is a great opportunity to improve vocabulary, honestly.

by the way, i want to note that before this, i did not come across books with a setting in new orleans - i think it's a pity that i read the story about this city so late. as someone who is obsessed with french culture and writing stories about it, i was incredibly happy to get a taste of how french culture permeated this city, which seemed to me to be a direct embodiment of melting pot.

perhaps i should point out the following, because books always have two sides, just like coins:

• as i said, i liked the author's language, it will help those who are learning the language. but at the same time, that was the problem. as a non-native speaker, it was sometimes very difficult to wade through the pages of descriptions. just imagine, four pages, of descriptions of some closet. !not literally!

• the plot, this is going to sound strange, but it was a little primitive. just a little bit. and i don't see anything wrong with that in this case. but literally from the introduction chapter of the killer, i knew it was a jack the ripper protégé. when celine and bastien crossed paths, i understood who is with whom, and i also get who pippa will be with, literally one meeting of the four was enough for me.

• again, i really liked the new orleans setting - how many times have i read about london, paris and new york? it was something new to me that i really enjoyed and i can't wait to read more about the history of this city.

• i was a little disappointed in the choice of character who turned out to be a murderer. i swear i thought detective grimaldi or nico saint germain was the killer: michael is bastien's nemesis, nicodemus － why not. I was saddened by the introduction of an unknown character as the killer, and certainly his puppet didn't seem like a good choice at all.

• you can kill me all you want, but nicodemus saint germain is not a pleasant character. i was waiting for him to show up after the description odette provided, but here he is and the first thing he does is threaten celine, trying to intimidate her. then he refuses to save his own nephew, literally the whole court of the lions was built to protect sébastien and here, he twirls his nose, saying that if he helps, all his efforts will go to waste. oh man, i thought better of you and now, are you kidding me?

finishing, i highly recommend reading this book. seriously, I haven't read such a good vampire book for a long, well except for the coldest girl in coldtown, that's the number one favorite, but we'll talk about it next time maybe. this book has everything i love, from enemies to lovers, vampires, magic, and most importantly humor, it was really entertaining to read this book.

my rating:

4.4/5

«a snake?» pippa squeaked, looking for all the world as if she wanted to melt into the paneled wall at her back. «what kind of person has a pet snake?»

«lucifer,» celine said in a flat voice. «lucifer would have a pet snake.»

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coraline by neil gaiman

fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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the coldest girl in coldtown by @hollyblack

«and if i never change back? if i’m not human enough anymore?»

he smiled; she could feel it against her skin. «then we’ll go hunt vampires together and you’ll drink their blood.»

«the lady or the tiger,» she said.

«my lady, the tiger.»

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book review: the sorrows of satan by marie corelli | 1895

summary:

the setting is london, 1895, and the devil is on the loose. he is searching for someone morally strong enough to resist temptation, but there seems little chance he will succeed. britain is all but totally corrupt. the aristocracy is financially and spiritually bankrupt; church leaders no longer believe in god; victorian idealism has been banished from literature and life; and sexual morality is being undermined by the pernicious doctrines of the "new woman." everything and everyone is up for sale, and it takes a special kind of moral courage to resist the devil's seductions.

my opinion:

well… it wasn't easy, honestly. i confess that the first 10 chapters i thought i would die of boredom, although the most boring novel i've read so far was dracula, in terms of writing style, i mean. i really struggled to get through the intro where all geoffrey does is talk about how poor he is, don't get me wrong, i think it was important to make it clear what kind of character he is, but i think it could have been done in a more interesting way.

after i got over the opening of the book, i will say right away that it was all clear and obvious to me who was who. that is, from the first only mention of lucio i understood that he is satan, when lady sybil appeared i understood that geoffrey would decide to marry her, but there would be no happy ending for them and that mavis clare is the author's alter ego, and in fact the real love interest of the character. there weren't any interesting plot twists in the book, maybe a couple literally when they were sailing on a ship from england and perhaps the first death of that poor man from the gambling club.

overall, if you close your eyes on the predictability and boring writing style, i liked the book just for its moral and message that those who have everything may not appreciate the little things and be spoiled, like geoffrey, to whom money overshadowed the view of the real world, and that those who lack something in life learn to appreciate what they have, like mavis clare. this is what i appreciated in the book, and there were also some very beautiful moments, for example the discussion of balance in art, the scene where lucio sang while playing the piano and of course his monologue when geoffrey realized that he was satan.

of the whole book perhaps the following can be highlighted, as every book has pros and cons:

• despite the rather boring beginning, the book becomes interesting in the aftermath, even when you're just watching geoffrey try to find love or lucio pulling the strings like a puppeteer.

• although i said the plot is pretty predictable, a couple of moments still pleased me because i wasn't expecting them.

• i was invariably pleased with the morals and message of this book and i think this is a major plus, it was probably the best way to teach everyone a lesson with an example like this.

• in places the book reminded me of something in the style of edgar poe, and this appealed to me because there was some kind of dark vibe.

• the development of the character of geoffrey made me happy, he went from poverty to riches to a kind of stability, i think he is a good example for people today of how in one moment you can gain and lose everything.

perhaps this book is recommended to read for a reason, for the millionth time, i will say its meaning is what people today should remember - appreciate what you have and don't forget, that's why i liked it, so i would advise you to read it.

my rating:

3.9/5

sleep, my beloved, sleep!

be patient! － we shall keep

our secret closely hid

beneath the coffin-lid, －

there is no other place in earth or air,

for such a love as ours, or such despair!

and nether hell nor heaven shall care to win

our loathed souls, rejoicing in their sin!

sleep! － for my hand is sure, －

the cold steel bright and pure

strikes through thy heart and mine

shedding our blood like wine; －

Sin's sweetness is too sweet, and if the shame

of love must be our curse, we hurl the blame

back on the gods who gave us love with breath

and tortured us from passion into death!