Am I required to do this? I think I may pass.
Tim almost got us both killed. I think it’s drugs and blood loss.
I- WAHT WHAT WHAATTTTTT?!
Stubborn batfreak.
We are acting like jerks right now. It screwed us up. Says the Cadmus experiment....
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Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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Am I required to do this? I think I may pass.
Tim almost got us both killed. I think it’s drugs and blood loss.
I- WAHT WHAT WHAATTTTTT?!
Stubborn batfreak.
We are acting like jerks right now. It screwed us up. Says the Cadmus experiment....
Alfred smiled gratefully at Dick’s attempt to lighten the situation. It seemed to fade just as quickly as it had appeared, as Dick’s eyes met his own. The humor seemed drowned out and replaced by…a plea?
Then, Alfred could hear himself almost yell…
Damian? This was because he had been filled in by another?
Alfred stayed silent while the two talked. With every sentence, the fog seemed to scatter slowly, revealing the surroundings.
He smiled knowingly at Dick when he mentioned Jason. He let his thoughts wander as he listened to Dick give his explanation to Tim. The boy had grown up so well. In the midst of all the tragedy he had encountered, Dick had matured to become a wonderful older brother to the others. Alfred was proud of him. He was proud of all of them.
Then, Alfred’s ears perked up. Oh, Tim was not done yet. He could see in the boy’s eyes that he was trying to reel himself back in and not lose control. But that’s exactly what Tim needed to do. Let it all out.
There. He sat wordlessly as Tim started to open up. He sat and he listened to every word, every exclamation, every syllable that echoed with pain. Oh, Tim.
Alfred’s heart hurt. The poor boy. They were traveling back in time to a dark era for all of them. Alfred remembered. He was dismayed, depressed. Bruce had been gone, and Alfred spent many of his days worrying. Tragedy had struck all of them but Tim had been the worst off, riding on a whirlwind that never seemed to cease. Nothing he could do comforted the boy. A soul that young should have never felt that much pain.
He snapped back into the present, as Tim continued. Trust. That was it. Hard to earn, too easily lost. And it seemed as if Tim had lost any he had for Dick. That was the worst part of it. Dick, the one he had the strongest bond with, seemed to have sever that bond in Tim’s eyes. Things made sense now, unfortunately.
This was such a difficult issue. So fragile and delicate that Alfred didn’t really know what to do or where to start. He and Dick were holding the shattered shards of glass that remained of Tim’s trust, and now they’d have to arrange them back together without cutting themselves.
“Oh, my dear boy.”
If he were to describe in exact words what he felt when Tim laid it out on the line, it would have been akin to someone reaching into his chest, grabbing hold of his still beating heart and squeezing it between their fingers until it popped open, sputtering and wheezing to a stop. His throat went dry, his mind screaming. How could he have been that stupid?
"I screwed up. I screwed up big time." He ran his hand down his face. "Tim, I'm sorry. I thought I was giving you strength. There was this opportunity there to give you the strength to go forward and find footing as your own hero. I wanted you to know what it was like, and how it felt to get that break away from Batman..."
He hung his head, guilt consuming him as if it were smoke rising into the room and slipping tendrils into him for a slow, agonizing possession. He'd wanted to help Tim but instead he'd hurt him, made things worse than they had been. He'd failed his brother and he didn't even realize he'd done it.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, or leave you floundering." He sniffled. "I thought it was going to give you the push you needed to believe in yourself. But I never stopped being your brother, or someone you could come to. I'm sorry..."
Dick felt the tears, hot and stinging his eyes and nostrils before he even realized it was happening. A few of them slipped down his cheeks and he turned to Alfred. He'd know what to do. He'd be able to mend them wouldn't he.
"You sure I'm cut out for this leader thing? Because I don't seem to be doing so well."
YOU SUCK
I appreciate the re-enforcement of the character analysis.
YOU SUCK
Thanks for the feedback, Anon.
I'll work on that.
Alfred took a deep breath. Steady. He was treading through a minefield and if he didn’t watch where he was going, track his steps, plan his way accordingly, then this whole thing might just blow up without making any progress. That wouldn’t help any…
Alfred smiled gratefully at Dick’s attempt to lighten the situation. It seemed to fade just as quickly as it had appeared, as Dick’s eyes met his own. The humor seemed drowned out and replaced by…a plea?
Then, Alfred could hear himself almost yell out “Eureka!” Everything pieced together and was presented in the light. How could he have been so nearsighted?
Something else was going on. But what?
The butler wouldn’t make any guesses. This was obviously something that didn’t just graze the surface. No, this was something that had sunk to the dark depths below and it was only now being brought up. He could sense both boys were being plagued by it.
His ears picked up Tim’s curt reply while staring down at the floor and he almost winced. Oh dear. This needed to be resolved. Whatever it was.
The air was still. Silent. Alfred felt tense. It was suddenly a little uncomfortable. He glanced over to Dick, who was looking weary. And then Tim, who looked like he was keeping an explosion at bay.
He had an urge to just groan and bury his face in his palms. This was getting a bit frustrating now for him. Enough was enough. He really didn’t care if he threw caution out the window. Whatever it was, it needed to get fixed right now, or Alfred would be up all night.
“Good heavens! What on Earth is going on?”
Dick felt as though he'd just been rammed through the heart with another knife. Tim never barked at him like that. It was so raw and bitter sounding and it made him ache. He didn't want that. No matter what happened in this line of work, in this messed up family, they had always been able to count on each other.
"Tim... look, I know you're still pissed at me about picking Damian. I get it. And I don't know how else to explain to you that this wasn't meant to hurt you." He stood up, wincing at the decision to do so.
He walked over to Tim, putting his hands on the other's shoulders. He wanted to meet his eyes, he wanted to really see him. This couldn't keep going, and even though he understood that Tim felt betrayed they had to move on. He knew what it was like to be angry over something like this.
"I spent a lot of wasted time being angry at Bruce because I thought he replaced me with Jason." He glanced back at Alfred. "Isn't that right Alfred?"
He turned back to Tim. "But I left. I had no right to be mad. Jason was there, the same way you needed to be after Jason. I am so proud of who you've become, of Red Robin and the work you've done as a solo hero. I am honored to work at your side, whether I'm Nightwing or Batman... I am humbled to have mentored you."
My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!
Let’s all just post pictures of Kon.
…I’m okay with this???
Are you still dating Sphere?
She’s… not my type?
You’re weird. You shouldn’t be surprised about my nightblogging in the batcave being weird. Carry on my half Kryptonian son…
Uh… ok… call me when you recover from whatever head trauma you’re suffering from, ‘kay?
Am I required to do this? I think I may pass.
Tim almost got us both killed. I think it's drugs and blood loss.
Let’s all just post pictures of Kon.
…I’m okay with this???
Are you still dating Sphere?
She’s… not my type?
You're weird. You shouldn't be surprised about my nightblogging in the batcave being weird. Carry on my half Kryptonian son...
“It shouldn’t be too life threatening if we can get it addressed.” Alfred started to disinfect the wounds, starting with Dick.
“Was it an issue of not doing all of your homework beforehand and jumping in when you thought you had acquired enough…
Alfred took a deep breath. Steady. He was treading through a minefield and if he didn’t watch where he was going, track his steps, plan his way accordingly, then this whole thing might just blow up without making any progress. That wouldn’t help any of them.
He listened to Tim’s words carefully, attempting to dissect the emotion behind them. He was detached, cold. It was times like this when he could use some tips from Miss Cassandra. Frustration, guilt, disappointment, embarrassment? It was all clouded, and Alfred had a bit of a hard time trying to navigate his way through the fog. He supposed he’d just take the plunge and hope he didn’t step in the wrong place.
“Timothy.” He moved to stand squarely in front of Tim. Just as he predicted, Tim’s head lifted at the sound of his name. Alfred looked into the blue with a soft but steely gaze.
“Human. That is what we all are. That is what you are. From the start of all our lives to the very end we learn that perfection is unattainable. It is not in a human being’s nature to be perfect, even when he strives for it. Conclusively, you will never be the degree of perfection that you aim for. I know that you know this - you are a smart man. Perhaps right now, that knowledge has been buried under guilt or whatever emotion you are feeling at the present time. I do not care that you were distracted or unfocused. Master Richard does not care. And if Master Bruce was here, as much as you might try to deny it, he would not care. You must understand that these things happen. You must accept them.”
I should have handled it on my own. Alfred tried not to lose his composure. Careful. Calm. He steadied his voice and quietly spoke.
“Timothy, that mentality is flawed. Look at yourself. Look at Master Richard. What do you suppose I was thinking when I saw the two of you struggling to get here? Can you imagine handling this all by yourself? If both of you were dripping blood coming home, I don’t even want to think about what scenario would play out if you had gone solo.”
Alfred could feel the whole conversation turning on him. He was trying to console Tim, and here he was getting tangled in his emotions. He had to swallow the knot forming in his throat and blink mistiness back before continuing. ”I’ll be damned before I have to drag any of your corpses back home.”
Without really thinking, he softly wrapped his arms around Tim. What he said was severe, but it was true. Alfred would be lying if he said he never feared for each of their lives once they came home in a bloodied pulp. It was emotionally nerve wracking for him, and honestly the hug was more for his benefit than Tim’s.
He pulled back and mentally told himself to pull it together. He hoped he got his message through.
“Please try to understand Master Timothy.”
Dick was silent to allow Alfred his time to talk to Tim. He knew that Tim needed that pep talk more than he ever would. Dick would move on after this, when the next thing came up or even as early as an hour from now. He wouldn't dwell on it because sometimes mistakes happened in this line of work, and they had to take solace that this time a mistake hadn't cost them a life. He knew anytime they survived, it was still a win.
He slid off the table now that he was patched, because it was Tim's turn and moved to finish getting out of the bat suit. He gave Tim a soft smile after Alfred hugged him.
"Alfred's right. If you'd been out there alone, you might not be coming back to patch up. And we don't want to lose you. Don't be too hard on yourself. I mean that. If I had money for every time I went into something solo and half cocked, I'd be richer than Bruce." He grinned, hoping Tim would laugh.
Then he paused. The distraction for both of them was hanging in the air like a fog between them, and he knew exactly what it was. It was why they'd screwed up tonight more than anything else. And maybe having Alfred here to buffer their fight.
He gave Alfred a weak look that almost begged for help. Then he took a deep breath.
"Look, I know that me going back to the cowl brought up some stuff we never dealt with between us." He rubbed the back of his neck. "We need to deal with it. And now is as good a time as any. Maybe Alfred can help."
There once was a prick, named Dick, who thought he was real fucking slick, but Jason came back and didn't put up with his sap, cause Dick smelled like a jockstrap.
...What is with all the poems. You and Joker both...
I am not engaging.
No, you're still little bird. ;)
No, woman. I am the night!
Let’s all just post pictures of Kon.
…I’m okay with this???
Are you still dating Sphere?
Let's all just post pictures of Kon.
It's so hard to communicate over the stupid internet. I was giving it back to you, little bird.
I'm Batman.
Oh wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Maybe you don't get your gift now.
You used to be sassy and take jokes.
You know, I don't think I said anything to you on your special day. Sorry about that, darling. Happy very belated Birthday, little bird.
Thanks, Selina.
Where's my present? Did you steal it yet?
“Master Richard, whining does not look acceptable on a full grown man.” Alfred lugged Dick onto one of the tables once they got into the medical room.
He left the boys to go fish around for the antiseptic. And gauze. They’d need quite a bit of that.
“It shouldn’t be too life threatening if we can get it addressed.” Alfred started to disinfect the wounds, starting with Dick.
“Was it an issue of not doing all of your homework beforehand and jumping in when you thought you had acquired enough information?” It would have been a foolish mistake, but at least it was a mistake that was very easily fixed. He stopped what he was doing and put a hand on Dick’s shoulder.
“Master Richard, I would not weigh yourself down. Slip ups occur, yes, but you have handled them with care. Being a leader does not mean being perfect. I can’t tell you how many times Master Bruce would come home being lectured on his rash decisions. You are still learning, Master Richard. The position of authority is not one of ease or privilege.” Alfred glanced at Tim occasionally to let him know he wasn’t just talking to the older man.
He went right back to cleaning wounds. Hopefully Dick wasn’t beating himself black and blue on the inside. His words were supposed to lighten any guilt felt by either of the boys.
The readings from the corner of his eyes told him differently. Tim had remained silent after Alfred’s lecture to him.
Now, Alfred knows from experience that it isn’t the easiest task to get one of the boys or girls to go from disappointed to accepting, but he can usually get it done. No doubt, Dick will still keep some of the blame but it won’t be as potent.
Tim was an entirely different story. After two Robins, here came a third. Alfred had become stellar in the care for battered up boys, and so he assumed his prior knowledge on the situation would be more than sufficient. He quickly learned that the knowledge would be thrown out the window, as Tim was a contrast to the others. This was a boy that was observant and calculating, one that never missed a detail. On one hand, a bit like Master Bruce, but in reality not at all. The “You made a mistake, but it is alright” speeches never worked quite as well on him. He’d have to incorporate a few words of reason with the comforting ones.
So, Alfred learned a new technique. Give the ball to Tim, and let him hit on Alfred’s side of the court. He would have to be cautious, because with Tim, Alfred never knew what he was (or wasn’t) going to get.
“Master Timothy,” he started with a softer voice hoping he might get something from Tim, “What seems to be occupying your thoughts?”
"Thanks Alfred. You're probably right." He smirked. "You are right. You always are."
Dick laid back as Alfred cleaned up his wounds. How many times the man had done this, Dick couldn't even count. He wondered if he ever thought of throwing in the towel, stopping all of this crime fighting and insisting they go back to being normal people. Alfred had pulled bullets out him, set bones, sat as he recovered. His heart ached with the thought of this man...
And here he was giving pep talks to send them out again. Just like he always did. He didn't know why these thoughts had plagued him now, of all times. Maybe it was because it had been so long since they'd failed so phenomenally. And maybe it was because that blade had come very close to his heart.
"Tim, relax. It's fine okay... no need to clam up over there." He shrugged. "We just weren't prepared and Alfred's right, we learn from the mistake next time."
Bruce wasn't here to be pissed about it, but some how he figured Bruce was going to find out anyway, and when he returned from his trip he'd have words with Dick. And that was fine, because Dick would take it. He always would take it.