Sooah was always way too self-conscious. It happened all the time during practice and the instructor would always call her out and tell her she shouldnโt be always checking on what others were doing. She should build her own confidence and believe she was doing what was right. She liked to think that compared to when she first joined the company, she was doing way better now with five years with Fuse, but there were times still, in which she would fall back into old habits.
A concert was always fun. Despite not being so sure about her place as an idol, she still enjoys the feeling of being on a stage as big as the one they were planning for this concert. Sheโs also very aware of the responsibility so itโs kind of unconscious that she starts paying more attention to her fellow members, itโs just to check if sheโs doing things the right way. Of course, it doesnโt go unnoticed by Kyunghwa. She closes her eyes for a second or two more when she hears the older woman call her name. Her arms seem to move only to fix the strand of hair that was falling on her face and she looks at some spot by Kyunghwaโs shoulder instead of looking at her in the eyes, โlack of practice I believe? It always takes me longer to memorize the choreography. Iโm sorry,โ she says with a sigh. Sooah tilts her head to the side and the words come out of her mouth before she can really process the request, โwould you help me? I donโt want to screw this up.โ
there are quite a few aspects to dancing that donโt necessarily involve the dancing itself. some dancers are good at making up choreography and rehearsing it to perfection while terrible at improvising โ or vice versa, for instance. kyunghwa is neither one or the other. sheโs never been the best at creating choreography from scratch, always needing at least a solid base to go from there even if she can if she at least put in extra effort, and sheโs too self aware to be able to freestyle the way some people are. to compensate, at least, the woman is really good at learning. it takes only a couple of runs for her to know it by heart which leads to her feeling overly frustrated when people canโt keep up with her. unnecessarily so.
she feels bad once sooah replies to her โ the girlโs words are too soft if compared to the way kyunghwa had approached her but thatโs the worst parts of her personality coming through and kyunghwa knows it. she lets out a sigh, tries to remember the song the other was struggling with is one they hadnโt performed in a while. โ itโs just that the transition depends that you keep up with how smooth we perform the first song, โ be natural and automatic are dances she could do in her sleep but she often has to remind herself not everybody has it as easy as her. โ especially because for automatic there are less people on stage, without the dancers. itโs only us. you know what i mean? โ
slice of life au feat @fmdandy, @fmdjoohwan & @fmdjeonghwa
kyunghwa and andy meet fairly young in this verse and become friends. in true kyunghwa fashion, sheโs unaware of her sexuality โ or simply fighting against it โ and still going through the time when she pretended to like men or forced herself to act like she did. as it happens in most verses with cherryandy, they end up sleeping together and having a type of friends with benefits relationship. itโs nothing serious at first โ nothing meant to be serious, especially because kyunghwa slowly realizes that the feelings she has for andy are not romantic feelings per se, even if she does love him at one point โ but then kyunghwa gets pregnant.
sheโs not against getting an abortion but she also is left to her own mind to think about how much she does want to be a mother. itโs a very unique verse, since thatโs usually not the type of thought that goes through her mind, but here she does want it, she does want the experience and she doesnโt know when thatโs gonna happen for her again.
so kyunghwa plans on telling andy sheโs pregnant and she doesnโt expect him to help her. but surprise โ andy does want to and he suggests them getting married so she wonโt have to do it alone.
their baby daughter is born a few months later and they name her opal. as good parents as they do manager to be together, itโs a given that their relationship is just not bound to work whatsoever considering she doesnโt like men that way and andy only loves her as a friend.
before opal turns two, kyunghwa asks for a divorce. it pains her to do so, if only because her and andy are not bad together, they are just not good either and although kyunghwa enjoys how comfortable she is in their marriage, she doesnโt want her life to be just based on comfortable.
they get divorced and a couple of years later andy meets hwan, who moves into the apartment above his.
kyunghwa is both thrilled for andy and also a bit jealous because he also wants what the two of them end up having.
not long after that she meets jeonghwa. the girl is a bit younger than her, which frustrates her to no end because she canโt believe she became the type of person to date only people younger than her, but sheโs bright and genuine and kyunghwa falls in love faster than she expected.
they both at first struggle a bit in their relationship since they have some different feelings on it but eventually everything works out.
however the better their relationship gets, the worse jeonghwaโs health does and itโs too late by the time jeonghwa decides to be honest and tell kyunghwa about her condition in full.
itโs a given that itโs a total shock for kyunghwa, who doesnโt know how to react to the news that her girlfriendโs death is inevitable. it takes her days before she can even remotely bring herself to do anything but cry and lament, grief hitting her hard before jeonghwa even goes.
before she does, though, kyunghwa wants them to get married and they do, in the chapel inside of the hospital, with only the people closest to them attending.
jeonghwa passes away a week later, and a piece of kyunghwa goes with her.
eventually, kyunghwa does fall in love again but it takes her quite a while for that to happen.
location: seokchon lake cherry blossom festival
date: april 4, 2020
word count: 427 words
Kyunghwa hates Spring.
Itโs nothing against the season particularly, per se, as much as it is due to her body and its reaction to the season. For as long as sheโs been alive and aware of herself, Kyunghwa has been allergic to pollen, as well as dust, shrimps and a wild variety of berries, and a few of those are particularly prominent during Spring. She was born during Summer, so the heat that starts coming with the Spring is definitely not much of a bother to her, but my goodness the pollen.
As if it wasnโt enough that the allergy is present, it couldnโt be some minimal allergic reaction, like most people do. Some can get away with just sneezing, with being mildly inconvenienced by some itching around the body, but not Kyunghwa. Instead, not only does she get those two symptoms, but her entire face gets completely red and hot, and her eyes tear up in a way that makes it obvious thereโs something wrong. No amount of make up can cover it up, can make her pretend to be anything else but bothered by the circumstances, yet sometimes thereโs no escaping.
She makes a beginnerโs mistake by not taking her antiallergic before leaving her house. Itโs usually the first thing she does during this time of the year but somehow it had escaped her extremely busy mind to do just so.
It takes her only half an hour after arriving at the festival to start feeling the symptoms. They come easy at first, just a reminder, that she ignores if only because sheโs having fun walking around without a proper schedule to adhere to, at least not today. Yet itโs not long before it gets worse, before the sneezing comes more often than not and her body starts to itch all over.
Thatโs when she tugs on her managerโs arm.
โ Unnie, โ Kyunghwa whispers, dragging the woman to the side, somewhere pics are not likely to be taken. โ I forgot to take my antiallergic. โ
The older woman just sighs, shaking her head at Kyunghwa. It makes the idol wonder how many times a day managers think about how their job is just being a babysitter.
Without a pause, she reaches for her bag, pulling out the pouch she carries around. Kyunghwaโs allergies and other health issues arenโt unknown to the company, so they arenโt unknown to her manager. Antiallergics are shoved at her, together with a bottle of water, and Kyunghwa just smiles, kissing the older womanโs cheek with an excited thanks.
๐๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ; ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐. in this universe, instead of auditioning for a company and following the idol route, kyunghwa enrolls for a ballet academy instead. from there, she gets the chance to participate in the school of american ballet summer intensive. sheโs given the opportunity to enroll full time in the school of american ballet, remaining there until her โgraduationโ. she stays in the new york city ballet for two years as an apprentice and after thatโs over, she joins the royal ballet as a member of the corps de ballet. through the years, she goes through all the ranks, from the corps to soloist, first soloist and principal. this is a playlist with some of the variations she dances through her time there.
i. romeo and juliet, op. 64: no. 14 juliet's variation
ii. giselle / act 1 - variation de giselle
iii. raymonda variation (act 3)
iv. kitri variation act 1
v. sugar plum fairy variation
vi. esmeralda variation
vii. odile variation 1 (act 3)
viii. swanilda variation (act 3)
๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ฒ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ.ย again, kyunghwa doesn't care for the reasoning behind having a favorite season. she doesn't see things as being bad for an entire period of three months or being good. she's not one of the many, many people affected by seasonal depression, so she doesn't quite understand it. however, she does appreciate the warmth that comes with the spring. as someone born during the summer, kyunghwa feels more comfortable with hot weather than cold weather. her music taste doesn't change but the tone of the songs she listens to is definitely more on the brighter side.ย
i. sofia - clairo
ii. je sais pas danser - pomme
iii. peppermint smiles - tiffi
iv. peach pit - peach pit
v. memรช robe qu'hier - pomme
vi. really - mimi bay
vii. she knows - hollie col
viii. wait a minute! - willow
song kyunghwa is born the daughter of a high standing noblewoman and an army general. it leaves a sour taste in both of their mouths that their first born is a woman but her father is quick to make deals and arrange for her, even as a baby, to be engaged to marry the future king. with that settled in place, and a formal arrangement made, they relax a little until her brothers are born and they have someone to carry on the family name and legacy.
since she was a child, kyunghwa is raised with a lot of expectations. sheโs technically supposed to be the future queen, the one to one day give birth to whoโs going to be a future king and so on. thatโs a lot of responsibility they plan to throw on the shoulders of a girl whoโs not even old enough to walk.
thereโs an expectation of perfection from her. literacy, musicianship, sewing โ sheโs supposed to learn it all.
for the first few years of her life, sheโs allowed to behave like a child. much like every other kid of very high standing, kyunghwa is raised around the kids of the royalty โ both the future king and the bastard son of the king who, for no apparent reason, is raised as if he was legitimate.
there comes a time when sheโs old enough to understand sheโs supposed to marry yunseo, the future king, but sheโs still a child and sees him as just one of her friends โ also a bit like a stinky boy.
they have a teasing friendship that easily develops into them becoming best friends.
at one point, itโs expected of her to stop playing and start acting like a noblewoman. her and yunseo still sneak around with the intent of hanging out yet their parents assume itโs because they are in love with each other, which makes them hopeful for an easy marriage.
(they are not)
by the time the two of them get married, kyunghwa knows she has no real interest or love for yunseo, not in the romantic way. she also knows she doesnโt look at men then same way she looks at women, even if she doesnโt have the words to explain what that might mean.
once married, they share a bed yet nothing physical happens and, if it depended on the two of them, nothing physical would actually happen.
instead, kyunghwa sleeps with the women who are supposed to be her husbandโs concubines. yunseo is aware and approves of it, and everything is kept behind closed doors for everybody involved.
at one point, however, itโs expected of her to give yunseo an heir, if only because he has no legitimate siblings and the reign could end up belonging to a distant family member, something yunseoโs parents arenโt interested in.
it takes a bit for the two of them to manage but at one point kyunghwa does get pregnant and does give birth to a healthy baby boy who lives to be the next king after his father
cherry carries the same louis vuitton bag with her pretty much everywhere she goes. itโs already a thing between the fans to joke that sheโs only going to stop when and if the bag rips. she wonโt bother defending herself but, if she had to, sheโd argue that itโs a reliable, big bag, that carries everything she needs without her having to give it away to someone else or leaving something behind. worst case scenario she might carry a smaller one, if she canโt take her usual bag with her but she tends to stick to that one, especially since then she doesnโt have to keep switching things from one bag to another.
the essentials she takes with her everywhere are:
her phone. unlike most idol/most celebrities, cherry stopped using iphones a couple of years ago, if only because she was gifted a samsung galaxy by a fan and decided to give it a try when her iphone 8 stopped working and it ended up being more functional for her. she currently owns a galaxy s20+ in light blue.
earbuds. she carries the bluetooth samsung ones with her.
a book. at the moment, kyunghwa is finally reading the vegetarian, but before that she was reading one of murakamiโs books.
her ipad. kyunghwa loves to doodle. she used to carry sketchbooks with her but after she started drawing digitally she realized it was much easier to carry the ipad with the pen instead of a bunch of different sketchbooks with a pencil case. it occupies less space. it doubles as a way for her to watch movies in a screen bigger and easier to watch than her phone, so it was one of the best additions to her bag.
nintendo switch. kyunghwa, much like a bunch of people in the planet at the moment, is addicted to animal crossing. so itโs a given that she also makes sure to carry her switch around with her so she can play whenever she has some free time.
make up bag. itโs fairly empty, just some basic essentials because she canโt do make up on herself to save her life, and shouldnโt be trusted for anything but mascara and maybe some lip gloss. she still does, just in case something smudges and some retouching needs to be done when the staff isnโt around.
umbrella. unnecessary, most of the time, but itโs something she simply canโt keep at her house when she leaves.
toothbrush, toothpaste and floss. itโs a given that idols canโt go around looking like a mess, so kyunghwa also carries those around with her.
wallet. sometimes her manager holds onto it for her but itโs more often than not in her bag, especially when she goes somewhere she might want to buy something.
glasses. both prescription and sunglasses, even if she mostly wears contacts.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: pink party || ๐๐๐๐: apr 2 2020 || ๐๐๐๐:ย open
itโs not that kyunghwa hates pink because hate would be too strong of a word. she has nothing against the color, like she doesnโt have anything against any color โ itโs just not one she thinks suits her well. fuseโs most recent comeback had been pink galore, the entire concept asking for bright colors and gold star going for the obvious choice of putting all the girls in pink a couple of times. again, kyunghwa didnโt really mind it but itโs not a color sheโd choose to wear on an off day. and of course, because life tends to hate her a little bit, pink and white is the dress code for one of the parties sheโs supposed to attend.
the woman chooses to wear a completely white tube dress, one that shows off her body in a way that makes her want to crawl of it โ but a pretty one, regardless. the only thing pink about her outfit are the shoes sheโs wearing, the ones that she knows are going to make her ankles sore the next day but that make her long even taller. they are far from being reliable though, and thatโs proven truth once she loses her balance for one second and manages to spill the red wine in her glass down the front of her dress. โ shit, shit, shit, โ kyunghwa feels the tears welling up in her eyes out of sheer frustration as she tries, in vain, to wipe her dress clean.
jeonghwa wouldnโt deny she enjoyed dressing up. playing the part of a neglected trophy wife with only credit cards and fancy galas to keep her company was one of her favorite pastimes. she didnโt have tooย many opportunities to play, not like she had the time or place to go to a million galas, so while she had the chance, she wasnโt going to let it slip away. besides, in a dome full of idols, it was likely at least some of them were looking for something more fun to do than stand around chatting about stocks, or whatever rich people talked about.
she meandered along a path of trees, until she found an idol that seemedโฆ of interest. โhow up for a game would you be?โ jeonghwa spoke as she approached, leaving little room for pleasantries. an eyebrow raised as she faced them fully. โwe can see how many drinks we can schmooze off of these rich fucks. say, whoever loses buys ice cream after?โ jeonghwa refused to feel badly for the way the smile in her eyes shifted to slight puppy eyes, and her teeth found her lower lip. if it was a littleย manipulative, she could deal.
often kyunghwa wondered if her penchant for being friends with people who enjoy a little bit of trouble is just something that came with even after she stopped hanging around those type of kids at school. it felt like she attracted people who saw every event they attended as an opportunity to do something they werenโt supposed to โ who felt exciting to break the rules that were well settled for them. she was far from a prude or from the type of conservative person who could not find that type of thing fun yet it was still a bit of a shock whenever someone was so willing to risk getting into trouble.
taking all of that into consideration, she really shouldnโt be surprised that jeonghwa of all people would approach her with this proposal. kyunghwa did nothing but laugh, however, amused by the youngerโs antics.โ โ are you bored, babe? โ she smirked at the other woman, glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to them. โ arenโt i one of the rich fucks you could try schmooze drinks off? surely iโm better company than those middle aged men? โ
location: gold star building
date: mar, 2020
word count: 460 words
Kyunghwa arrives to rehearsals in a bad mood.
Granted, the woman has been arriving to most places in a bad mood lately, as the lack of satisfaction in her life seems to be following her everywhere. Itโs particularly blatant whenever she comes from a meeting with the creative team of the company as they seem to care about her opinion on whatโs to come for her career even less than usual. Most of the time people will be told with a month or so of advance what their next activity is going to be yet Kyunghwaโs been aware of the contents of her May comeback since late February, and as she records the song over and over again, sheโs only reminded of how much itโs going to suck.
Itโs a given that sheโs not the most positive person in the world once she arrives for the tour rehearsals. Itโs a shame because Kyunghwa enjoys touring, she enjoys getting the opportunity of meeting the fans and giving them a night of entertainment but itโs difficult to find any type of happiness from this when she knows sheโs also supposed to perform her next comeback during the group tour. For once, the woman almost wishes Gold Star went back to ignoring her existence.
She keeps a straight face during it, not talking as much as she usually does and happy to leave most of the leading to the choreographer, whereas on a normal day Kyunghwa tends to take her position as the main dancer seriously and steps up to help lead the rehearsal. Everybody seems to notice how tense she is but if anyone wants to comment, they choose not to. It helps that, by now, everything is mostly muscle memory โ choreography always came easy to her and even more so when Kyunghwa is forcing herself not to focus on anything but. It means sheโs extra harsh on herself though, whenever sheโs not busy correcting everybody else, the perfectionism turns to her own skills. Itโs unacceptable that the main dancer still gets some steps wrong and she fixates over it even after the rehearsal is done.
Kyunghwa doesnโt ask but people seem to understand she wants to be left alone for a while longer, to have the room to herself so she can focus on what she needs to get right. Her manager is the only that sticks around, always acting like the babysitter Kyunghwa knows she doesnโt need but that Gold Star would beg to disagree. On times when sheโs not predisposed to be a brat, Kyunghwa understands.
โYou can leave, you know?โ She asks but the older woman just huffs, scrolling through the phone from where sheโs sat near the door.
as the oldest sister, even if not by a lot of years, it had always fallen on cherryโs shoulders to look after her brothers. their parents were neglectful in their own way โ their father, although loving when possible, was out more often than not, busy as he was with his work and putting that as a priority instead of his family. whereas their motherโฆ it was a laughable thought for cherry to even see her as such; a mom. many were the times she had had to be the one to pick yul and iseul up at school because their mom had simply forgotten it, chosen to stay with her friends chatting about their seemingly perfect lives with their seemingly perfect families. cherry had much preferred it though than to subject her brothers to that womanโs presence more than necessary.
all of that meant though that when any of her brothers did something stupid, it fell on her the responsibility to answer to their parents for it. it was cherry that was called out if yul ended up being mentioned negatively or if iseul did less than stellar in school, as if she was their mother. this time though the ear lashing she got had ended her patience completely. โ samsoo, โ she called out for the man, stepping in front of him. โ have you seen my dumbass brother? โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: vogue korea cocktail party || ๐๐๐๐: mar 31 2020 || ๐๐๐๐:ย @fmdjulieโ
perhaps the only annoying part about finally being given some attention by the company and getting more opportunities than in the past is the fact that now itโs expected of kyunghwa to attend as many events as she possibly can to keep her name out there. wherever thereโs a photographer, itโs expected of kyunghwa to be attending. luckily the woman doesnโt mind having pictures of her being taken but, at the same time, she knows sheโs bound to feeling shit about her appearance as soon as she sees the pictures. itโs never flattering enough and there are days whether she doesnโt know thatโs because the cameras didnโt capture her on the right angle or if she simply doesnโt have good angles at all. itโs a constant, inevitable battle to be fought whenever you struggle with your own appearance.
kyunghwa forces herself to focus on other things โ itโs a vogue korea event, and she knows her mother expects nothing but for her to be looking pristine and maybe walk out of here with a magazine cover. unrealistic, for sure, but still a nice dream to have. she knows she must, above all things, look good for the cameras and interact with the right people, hence walking up to julie as soon as she sees her โ itโs not a bad thing to be pictured next to a member of one of the most famous girl groups, is it?โ โโ hey babe, โ kyunghwa goes in for a hug. โโ are you enjoying the party? โ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐:ย gold star practice roomsย || ๐๐๐๐: mar 2020 || ๐๐๐๐: @fmdsooahโ
tour rehearsals offer such a different dynamic that it often doesnโt even feel like itโs part of the job, not for kyunghwa at least, especially because itโs something she enjoys. the constant dance practices, the new choreographies, having to polish the older ones, the new stages, the new music. everything is as much of a surprise to the girls at first as it is to the fans, and itโs always a thrill to be able to put everything together. if life as an idol can become dull and repetitive at times, touring breaks with that. she knows that if she toured as much as origin does, sheโd most likely hate it, but as it is, itโs a welcome change of pace.
as the main dancer, it often falls on her shoulders to be in charge of the rehearsals while the choreographer is busy with the dancers. not that kyunghwa minds as she knows sheโs good at it though she knows she can be a bit too harsh at times. โ sooah, โ she calls out the younger girl, wiping the sweat off her face as they are called for a break after getting through the choreography of bing bing. โ youโre still off beat. whenever i look at you, youโre always two beats behind all of us. whatโs the issue? โ
song kyunghwa is born the daughter of an army general and a socialite and always expected to be able to enlist, when time came. a policy forbidding lgbtq+ people from being part of the armed forces comes in the way of that dream when kyunghwa is caught with another woman. she gets kicked out but doesnโt want to let all her training goes to waste โ her father then makes it financially possible for her to become a vigilante under the name of batwoman.
origamiaround
titsay
gummygunk
blakekathryn
janainaart