( ❛ FATE┊haneul )
fmhaneul:
( ... ) ( forget seongha, he himself is dissppointed in himself. ) there is another silence, one that is a little too long. he knows he must be freaking this guy out at this point, but he can’t help himself. he feels so much embarrassment he can barely breath, not to mention the suffocating weight of the emotions meeting the other and being caught brings on its own. finally, though, he breathes. walking closer to the other. “ uh, ” he starts out, speaking through breaths, looking at jay’s shoes rather than his face. “ i didn’t need to read it, i wrote it, and i’m really sorry for scaring you, or whatever kind of weird shit i made you feel. i’m kind of just having a major fucking panic attack, but uh, yeah, anyway here is the letter, uh, yeah. i’m really embarrassed that i write these letters or whatever so please don’t make fun of me lying or any of that shit, i know it was weird as fuck but just— ” instead of finishing, he breaths after the rant, holding out the envelope, still not looking up to actually see the other.
jaeeun’s patience grew thinner and thinner the more the minutes ticked by. if they weren’t in a public place, where he was sure cameras were watching and people could pass by, he would have snatched the letter from the dude. he hated how this was dragging on for longer than it should be, with him spilling out the importance of what the stranger was holding. he felt embarrassed, cheeks stained a harsh red. but he stuck his chin out, daring the other to disagree with his question.
he didn’t.
noticing how odd his breathing was, the young idol would have offered for him to sit or to get him water. but not when he was acting so suspicious. why was he acting like he was the one who had something to hide? jaeeun was about to open his mouth when he heard “i wrote it” amidst the jumble of words he was speaking. excuses, that’s what he thought they were. however, upon further listening, he could hear the sincerity in his voice. and it’s like a switch was turned on in jaeeun’s mind, his whole body sagging and his facial features softening. his fists loosened, letting his hands fall to his sides as he really looked at the boy in front of him.
many times he had imagined how their meeting would be. jaeeun thought that he would be the first to suggest it, having grown tired of simply talking through letters. they would eat out and talk about real life. overcome with emotion, he would hug the person who wrote such beautiful and encouraging words to him that no one else can ever make him feel safer.
jaeeun’s instincts took a hold of him and he jumped, closing the distance between them and enveloping the other in the tightest hug. he buried his face against the other’s shoulder, finally experiencing his warmth in the flesh, not in words. and jaeeun could tell at that moment that the bond they shared wasn’t simply in written form but physical as well. surely, he should be tearing up like the dramatic scene he had made in his head. but instead, he just clung onto the other male, relieved and happy at their meeting.
“thank you,” he whispered, tightening his hold. “thank you.”
