my private life

my lil journal

[coquette-club]

isaaccarranzaa

[hermajestyimher]

Read the full text here.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[fmlimsad]

so am i delulu or?

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[fmlimsad]

oops

[feminineenergylife]

[fmlimsad]

reposting this and saying ‘but ___’

[matchagirl]

[theambitiouswoman]

Holding hands is one of the deepest forms of intimacy because it communicates safety. In ancient Persia intimacy was created through alignment. Holding someone’s hand meant trust, presence and pure intention. Neurologically, holding hands is tied to trust and emotional regulation, so when someone holds your hand, the nervous system reads it as you aren’t alone. That’s why it can feel more vulnerable than kissing. Kissing can be desire, but holding hands is permission. It says that someone is there and won’t overwhelm you. Real intimacy lives in that steadiness. Two people grounded enough to walk beside each other & choosing closeness that is mutual & unspoken

Such a simple thing that often gets taken for granted now because we validate scenarios by explosive feelings. But it’s the little things that are the big things (or maybe I’m just too wholesome for my own good 😝)

[ruminate88]

The Fixer Who Broke Herself 🩹

“You had to repair yourself alone” 😢😢

If you grew up as the family caretaker or the fixer, everyone used you and depended on you, but there was no room left for your own pain. This was especially true with my ex-boyfriends.

Often I was in the middle of my parents trying to be the buffer. I was raising my older brother’s kids and even standing beside my brother through every single thing he faced for so long. I rescued my brother every time he was drowning.

My grandma could yell my name, and I was right there asking if she was okay and what she needed. Mind you, you don’t just stop taking care of people. It’s so deeply ingrained into every fiber of who you are. People still believe they can depend on me… which they can, but I now make myself less accessible on purpose.

It’s been a struggle to give myself the same love and importance I give to others. Understand though, not everyone can reciprocate the same love back to you. Not everyone is a caretaker like you.

Truth is, you do feel special when folks brag on you for how helpful you are, and I absolutely love to make people feel good and smile. Mostly because it’s something missing inside of me. You don’t just quit caretaking because it’s so ingrained into who you are, but **it’s not your identity.**

I now take longer to reply to people and stay to myself more because I need to get better. ❤️‍🩹 Healing isn’t when the pain stops, it’s when the patterns do.

11-24-25 at 12:00 p.m. (111) (222)

[fmlimsad]

it makes me feel so good when i can make people happy or i can help them

[nolosses]

you really gotta say how you feel and move on about your life. don’t ever beg someone to rock with you. the biggest no in life.

[fmlimsad]

why is this shit so hard for me to understand

[scorpionlafemme]

[ruminate88]

The Ocean and the Ghost: Decoding the Avoidant Heart 💔

Understanding why that man won’t show up for you… he’s lived his whole life in survival with the narrative that he’s inherently broken and can only fail you. Maybe he does care about you, but his ego and pride protect him from getting close with you.

It’s all about self-preservation and nothing to do with your worth and love. He knows you love him, and he will not surrender and lose control in your love. It’s not your love itself that scares him. It’s the willingness to submit to your love.

He fears your love is the ocean that will drown him, and he spent his whole life just learning to keep his head above the water. He most likely will only want to admire the ocean from a safe distance but is scared to jump in.

He convinces himself that he doesn’t need or want the ocean, but deep down, he can’t help but be captivated by the idea. In his mind, he’s swimming in it, feeling safe and happy. However, his fears tell him that it’s just a distant, unreachable dream. His insecurities prevent him from believing that he deserves to experience the ocean. Meanwhile, you are unmoved by his fears. You stay grounded and flowing.

It’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the tragic truth. You may even try to shrink your love to make him less afraid, but he knows you’re capable of taking over his heart and emotions. ❤️‍🩹 Just accept the truth and take a deep breath. Learn to be the ocean who can flow and remain beautiful. You have worth, and you just can’t cross the shoreline.

11-21-25 at 1:24 p.m.

[fmlimsad]

needed to see this right now 😭

[dearblackwoman]

Dear Black Woman,

You're in the middle of building something beautiful, even if you can't see the full picture yet. Trust that every small step is moving you closer to where you're meant to be. The work you're putting in, mentally, emotionally, spiritually it's all adding up. Don't rush the process. Your timing is divine.

With love,

Your reminder to trust the journey

[kosmogrl]

I will get there

[fmlimsad]

i will also get there

[her-written-thoughts]

when something’s not for you, it will hurt you until you understand it.

[scorpionlafemme]

Mmm yup, this the one

[scorpionlafemme]

[fmlimsad]

maybe my feelings are okay

[scorpionlafemme]

[fmlimsad]

maybe it IS okay to have feelings

[scorpionlafemme]

[fmlimsad]

i’m just a curious girl 😭