Getting back to a routine
One thing that I’ve struggled with since my symptoms returned is being consistent. Sometimes getting out bed feels like a massive achievement. And on other days, when that’s the most I’m able to do, I feel like I’m slowly disappearing.
Because it all starts to look the same. Days blend together, and you can hardly tell where one ends and the next one begins.
Even an outline of a routine, though, can make such a huge difference. Sticking to a routine was really emphasized to me toward the beginning of this journey, but I had so little energy that organizing my day seemed impossible. But I understood routines differently then — strict, committed, firm. Nowadays, my routine is just little things that I can count on during the day.
Like Elizabeth in the morning. She’s an early riser, and she makes me look forward to greeting the day, too. She pushes her little cold nose into my face, a polite little alarm clock.
6 a.m., I drink coffee, watch the morning news with my mom, feed Elizabeth and remind myself to take my medication. It’s quiet and peaceful — inside my heart and body. I love the mornings now more than ever because of Lizzie.
I have classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays and meetings for my internship and research assistantship scattered throughout the week as well. Sometimes I worry that I took too much on this semester, that my desire to stay constantly busy was something that I could have left in my old life.
But being remote helps alleviate some of the stress. I’m surrounded by things I love and being home feels like the only way this year could have gone.
I make a lot of lists, too. Most days, I put easy tasks in my planner just so I can cross them out. Simple things like, “Post a tweet for your social media class,” which is something that typically takes about 3 minutes. But gliding my red pen across the page, knowing that I’ve done at least one thing with my day, is like caffeine. It gives me energy and purpose.
But just as easily as a routine can be created, it can be abandoned too. Guilt-free. That’s another thing I learned. Just as important as it is to get things done, it’s important to not be so rigid. Eat before you finish your homework. Drink water before you read that next textbook chapter. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will come.
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