julian, 24, he/him, personal blog. adults only. a pox on all who come here with bad intentions. catboy permakid piloting a grown adult meat mech. i started T on 4/28/26 🕺✨️
There's way more red tape surrounding how and when you're allowed to modify your own body than there is around how and when the president can drop bombs on other countries.
This country has been having a ten year debate about who is allowed to wear a skirt in public, but Congress didn't even have to approve a whole fucking war with Iran for it to happen.
You are not free. Your freedoms are just dangled above your head like collateral, so you don't dare interfere with all the war your taxes paid for.
This Doonesbury abortion cartoon was originally written by Gary Trudeau in 2012, in response to a Texas law requiring women to have an ultrasound before an abortion. It was banned from many major newspapers, and they ran syndicated cartoons in its place.
Now seems like an appropriate time to bring these cartoons back, with the passing of Texas’ new law requiring the burial or cremation of miscarried or aborted fetal remains. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Trudeau decides to write the sequel.
Alr, even ignoring the obvious horror of everything Texas has done over the years, I must ask.
Who’s paying for the cremation? My pa wanted to be cremated when he died, and he got that. It was like $1,300 for the cremation, plus cost for each box and the engravings, came out to about $1,700 all in all here in NC and his sister, my aunt, paid for it. I have a small urn of my dad, so does my aunt, my gma, and my other gma, plus a main box at my with my gpa’s grave. Let’s go with cremate and no box, who’s paying? Tax payers? Or the individual? This includes miscarries too, so if I woman can’t afford it and miscarries, what then? What if she gets an abortion precisely because she can’t afford to have a child? If it’s the tax payers, then that’s a fucked up way to spend tax money, and if it’s the individual, you’re just begging for more “off-the-record” abortions and home-births incase of miscarries.
"Remember when [evil thing] happened and no one cared??"
Actually, many people cared. Thousands if not millions of people cared a whole lot and talked about it and tried to help. Sadly, [evil thing] was drowned out by ten other calamities or crises or human rights violations within a week. And I'm genuinely sorry, but I only have so much energy to give for every new horror popping up constantly these days.
Actually I think there's a nonzero chance that due to the geological makeup of the land Washington DC and the White House specifically is built on (swamp), high temperatures and high humidity at this time of year, the still-flowing underground waterways enclosed by some of the city's sewer systems (Tiber creek etc), frequent large&invasive construction projects happening co-currently around the national mall area for the 250th anniversary (that may cause ground vibrations and changes of normal water runoff/landscape composition), the total destruction and excavation of the east wing of the White House to construct a massive new underground peoc bunker topped by a ballroom, AND mere feet away a ginormous very heavy octagonal+arched structure being set up on the south lawn for Trump's birthday UFC fight which will be attended by about 4000 people (significantly adding up to change the weight ratio on top of the land right next to the massive hole in the ground) I believe he and the whole White House could be swallowed up by the earth on his 80th birthday in a narratively appropriate commentary on the nature of the hubris of tyrants in which case his claim that this spectacle will be "the greatest show on earth" would be perhaps one of the only factually accurate things he has ever said, possibly ever
If you add this to the "jd vance killed the pope" rumors and Francis dying on Easter Monday at the numerologically significant age of 88 only to be replaced by Leo (Latin for lion) who has rebuked Vance and will not yield to his version of Catholicism and how if true that would mean JD fell for the same plot twist as the not only the lion the witch and the wardrobe AND CHRISTIANITY, both of which he claims to love dearly, without noticing the parallels, which seems like a subtle but clear rebuke in to itself indicating JD Vance is being called a fake fan
it seems the moral arc of the universe may indeed have some trajectory to it
It's so weird to me when people are like 'but that will cost the government money!' So what? They're the government, they're supposed to be spending money. What, you want them to take your tax dollars and then do nothing with it? Lock it all up in a big government vault and just look at it? Why are you so scared of giving a third grader lunch or a homeless person a house.
nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.
I was going to write this up in a reply to a specific person, but I thought it would make a better standalone post.
I think Paralives is a case where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing - if you're coming from a Sims background, some of the subtle differences can leave you way more confused and stumped than someone coming to the game completely fresh-eyed.
But having sunk the past few days into the open access, I truly feel like it has good sandbox life sim gameplay, so here are some tips for anyone coming to Paralives from a Sims background who doesn't know how to quite approach this game!
(It's very long, because I cover a lot of stuff, but I tried to make it clear enough that you can skip around to the parts that interest you:)
Quick tip for the Paramaker: In my opinion this is a really great character creator, BUT if you're coming to it from The Sims 2 or even 3, you'll need to alter your mindset. It's a lot closer to The Sims 4's CAS in that to achieve certain features you to pick a preset that's closest to what you want and edit it - you won't be able to reverse-engineer every feature from every starting point.
Visual example: If you want a rounded nose closer to the one on the left, don't start with a pointed nose like the one on the right, and vice-versa.
Below: Some more examples of features which are only or most easily attainable through presets; cleft and bulbous chins under the "chins" presets, cheekbones and jowls in the "cheeks" presets, etc.
Basically, if you're having a hard time wrangling a Para's features into what you want, double-check the related presets for a better launching pad.
Unlike The Sims 4, though, you still have the benefit of manual sliders; here's the eye modifiers for example - if I were to click and hold the button for "eye position", I could drag the mouse around to move the eye around the Parafolk's head. HOWEVER, if you click on that modifier, you can see sliders for the parameters I'm actually controlling when I do that - namely, how far apart the eyes are (width), and how high on the head they are (height). So you have the benefit of being able to sculpt your Para's head in broad strokes, and then manually edit the sliders to make very fine alterations.
And if you make a mistake, don't worry. At any time during gameplay you can open the cheat console (CTRL+SHIFT+C) and enter "editcharacter" to open up the Paramaker again and edit them as much as you want, so you aren't locked into anything.
Another Paramaker or outfitting tip: When selecting clothing with layers, check for the layering icon (outlined here in red). This allows you to swap out the clothing underneath, which you can also customise. Secondly, the tucked/untucked icon (outlined here in green) allows you to choose whether some pieces are- well, tucked in to pants or not, lol.
I like big households in The Sims, so I picked a household with 3+ Parafolk in it for my first playtest, but in retrospect I think it would have been better to start by playing a single-person household. The core mechanics of the game can take a second to get used to and there's so much in the world to explore that I think it would've been nicer to worry less about multiple Parafolk while I was still learning to walk.
The skill system in Paralives is nested: There are broader "knowledge" skills, and then other related but more focused skills under them; for example, "music" is a knowledge skill, under which are the skills "guitar", "piano", etc. Practicing a specific skill - for example, playing the guitar - will not only raise your guitar skill, but your broader music skill, too. And if you then start learning how to play the piano, your existing music skill means you will pick up the piano faster. Sometimes your Parafolk will not be able to increase the base knowledge skills, usually because of something like being in a bad mood or having low motives. So a Para who's really tired when they're practicing the guitar might still raise their guitar skill, but it won't raise their broader music skill.
Parafolk have "wants", but you get to/have to pick them, based on their emotions. Emotions in Paralives work in a similar way to moodlets in The Sims 3, in that Paras can feel multiple emotions at once, and to different degrees. These impact various things; your success rate at certain social interactions (see below), how effectively you gain skills, whether your Paras will even agree to perform actions at all, etc. Randomly, these emotions will get little exclamation marks next to them, which means your Parafolk wants to choose how they "react" to that emotion. This is a want! Click on the emotion to choose from a little list, which is decided by their personality, recent actions, hobbies, etc. The option you select from this list becomes one of their wants and the rest are discarded. Wants reset when Paralives sleep and at the end of the day, but you can pin one want to hold onto it until you fulfill it (or un-pin it).
Fulfilling Parafolks' wants earns them personality experience points. When they level up, you get to choose upgrades along trees based on their personality (vibe), social perk, and talent (hobby). These perks are less like personality traits and more like the Aspiration benefits from Sims 2 Freetime, or the Professions your farmer can choose from when skilling up in Stardew Valley. IMO they don't dictate your Parafolks' personalities or railroad them into certain behaviours. This system is definitely still being worked on and some of these perks aren't very useful lol (while others are VERY useful), but it's a neat system so far. IIRC I also had the option to add to one of my Para's Physique/Mind/Creativity/Charisma points during one level-up? I presume they might add other ways to increase or change these stats in the future, because there are some things like jobs that require you to have them to a certain level.
Socialisation in Paralives is like a series of mini event cards, and increasing friendship with other Paras is not the only or even the primary outcome. It is not like the Sims, where socialisation is a pretty shallow and easy grind until Sims achieve the relationship you want. In Paralives, the most immediate outcome of talking to other Paras is that you have the chance to improve (or dampen) your Para's mood and the mood of the Parafolk they're talking to. What mood you want your Para to be in can depend on their personality, perks, wants, goals, and the direction you want to take the conversation/relationship.
I kept falling back into the thought process that a "good" outcome from conversation cards was the same thing as 🧑🤝🧑➕➕, but that's not what a positive outcome (usually) achieves. And a "negative" interaction does not necessarily lower your relationship. Think about it more as if you are trying to keep a game of cards going: avoiding bad cards, playing neutral/bonus cards, until the card you REALLY want comes up. This might sound tedious until you realise that the right card can immediately make your Parafolk friends, or romantic interests, etc. and then the way it scales with socialisation in The Sims makes more sense. Play your (together) cards right, and you could befriend another Parafolk within a short conversation. I really enjoy the feedback loop of socialisation in Parafolks once I got the hang of it!
Your Parafolk's personalities and interests matter much more in how well they get along with other Paras. You can't just force a friendship between two clashing Paras the way you can force a friendship between any two Sims by spamming social interactions. Find a Para with a personality closer to yours and you'll have a much easier time befriending them.
There are other bonuses to conversations, too. There are cards that give you the opportunity to learn more about the Parafolk you're talking to, such as their relationship status, family, job, personality, etc. You also sometimes get options to boost your and other Para's moods, and my favourite part: talking about skills increases that skill for all interested Parafolk! (Uninterested Parafolk get bored instead, which is another good way to learn more about them.)
In The Sims, group activities - playing games, watching TV together, WooHoo, etc - often require one Sim to initiate the action, then call the other to join, or to interact with the other Sim first and ask them to start the activity together. In Paralives, similar activities are usually initiated by selecting multiple Paras and directing one of them to start. For example, click and drag to select two Paras, then click on a couch to get them to sit together and chat, or a bed to get them to "get intimate". Parafolk are also experts at body doubling and a lot of actions can be done "together"; cooking, eating, showering, walking, etc. The entire time counts as raising the conversation bar to get new together cards, so socialisation doesn't have to be a static thing like in The Sims; see how far your Paras can get going about their lives without breaking a conversation!
This gets interesting with certain needs. For example, I had two Parafolk in a group and directed both of them to use a toilet. I expected one of them just to kind of hang out while the first one did their business (gross but socially efficient), but the other Para actually hunted down a second toilet on the lot to use! Can be useful when managing multiple Parafolk's needs in a hurry?
Speaking of selecting multiple Parafolk - you can also hold down shift, then click and drag over individual Paras to add them to the group, kind of like computer files, lol. This helps you avoid including other random Paras. CTRL+U also automatically selects all the Paras in the household you're currently playing (useful with smaller families).
Parafolk not only automatically wash their hands after using the toilet, but also after cleaning and repairing objects, so keep this in mind when queuing actions 👍
Books do still exist in Paralives, but computers kind of better fill their role. Basic skilling and other grunt work is better handled by a computer than a bookcase, so if you have to choose one, choose the PC.
Careers in Paralives seem to make a LOT more use of lateral motion than The Sims, and most jobs have much higher application requirements than anything in The Sims. What I mean by that is that it makes a lot more sense to just find any job your Para qualifies for, then use that time and experience to gain skills necessary to qualify for the job they actually want (and they can suggest wants or long-term goals for certain careers, usually talent/hobby-based, which can be worth pinning and working towards). Sometimes experience in one field can allow you to qualify for a job in a different field; for example, you can work in the service industry to get enough experience in service to get a job as a waiter, which also gives you experience in the food industry, which you can use to qualify for jobs in the kitchen. You should also have your Parafolk manually apply for a job in a higher position in the same career after earning experience in their entry-level position rather than randomly waiting to get promoted from, like, a fast food line cook to a restaurateur.
If your Parafolk works in a store (e.g. the salon), then the front door is a rabbithole during their work hours. I didn't know how to best prepare my Parafolk for work so I sent them directly into the shops ahead of their shifts, but if you're doing that it's better to just let them loiter around outside; they will disappear at the front door when their shift starts and reappear when it's over, so there's no point in being actually inside the building, or even loading it at all.
Make use of the bus!! I thought the map was small enough not to need them unless I was going from one opposite end to the other, but they really are a life saver, especially for moving multiple Parafolk at once (click and drag to select all of them, then direct them to catch the bus - voila!) Learning the bus "zones" helped me break the map up into smaller chunks to get a feel of where I need to go. (Some bus stops are only the sign, not the whole shelter, for example at the base of the hospital.)
Calling Parafolk on the phone is currently borderline useless, but it's obviously something that will be fleshed out as the game grows. Instead, when you check on a Para's relationship - you see this thing here where it says "Find Parafolk"? The part that looks like a nothingly header between a banner and some actual stats?
Yeah, that's a BUTTON. Click it.
It will immediately show you on the map where that Para is so you can hunt them down like a conversation-seeking missile.
This is currently the best way to try and seek out specific Parafolk to befriend, because they're almost never home. It ALSO glitches sometimes unfortunately, but it usually works if I wait and try again later.
On the flipside you can break & enter into any Parafolk's house and they won't care. This is surely a bug and not a feature so take advantage of it while you can and just use everyone's furniture while they're out and about👍 Then bother them as much as you like when they arrive home at like, 12 AM.
Parafolk can check if they're pregnant via peeing on a stick on the toilet.
If you're lost on what to do next, check the newspaper (the one you the player read, not your Parafolk - look for the button in the top right corner of the screen) and one of the request noticeboards (there's one by the train station, usually with an exclamation mark above it). The newspaper will tell you about interesting events going on that will generally attract other Parafolk, allowing you to meet new Paras, take advantage of objects like computers or exercise equipment, etc. They also showcase areas of the map you may not have paid attention to before. The request noticeboard is a good way to befriend new Paras, earn Paradimes, and learn about mechanics such as hunting for collectibles, etc. (Note that these can sometimes be a bit glitchy, especially in befriending Parafolk I've noticed, but it's still a nice way to explore the game.)
Photo mode is super interesting and I can see how it will be incredibly powerful for machinima & storytelling, especially as they continue to iron out the kinks. But for casual gameplay screencaps I found it more useful to hit CTRL+H to hide the overlay. The navigation (click/dragging the mouse, etc) also seems to work closer to photo mode in this mode. It's kind of like cameraman mode in The Sims. The game doesn't tell you about it except for when you're in photo mode, and even then it doesn't explicitly tell you that CTRL+H still works even outside photo mode, so it's good to know early.
When it comes to decorating, a lot more objects are modular than you might think! Many can be lengthened, shortened, widened, and scaled up/down, while retaining functionality. Single beds can become queen, double, king size; bookshelves can be shrunk up or down; you can stretch one counter to size rather than placing multiple; the same table can be a tiny two-seater or a family dining table; desks and standing clothes hangers can be as wide as you want them; windows can not only go wherever you want on the wall, but be whatever dimension you need! Try it with a BUNCH of different buy AND build objects to achieve the vibes you want.
Also, this is specifically a tip for people coming from The Sims 2 since this became a lot more normalised in other Sims entries, but check objects for these three dots:
It means that object has variants, such as these matching corner, island, and cabinet counter pieces.
SAVE OFTEN! This game is in open access and bugs are inevitable. Do your part by making sure you save frequently so that you don't lose too much progress when something unintended happens. Edit: The bugs are also the reason I do not currently recommend using the game's autosave feature, because bugs aren't always immediately noticeable, and if it auto-saves after something particularly annoying or even game-breaking, that would be bad! For now I recommend double checking all the Paras in your household are "safe" (especially in places where it's easy for them to get stuck, like halfway up staircases) before saving, and saving manually.
That's it for now! I have played Paralives pretty much every day since I got it because I've wanted to, so if you have any questions, I can try my best to offer my advice from the perspective of a Simmer. 🫡
I think a lot of people who are complaining about the lack of content in Paralives are forgetting just how fucking bare bones the sims 4 was at launch.
romaincrisis
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