Okay, so remember​ how MyDude played You Are Not The One by The Grouch the other day? Yea, well, it doesn’t end there, actually..
See, idk if you recall but when the song bit went down, MyDude and I were en route to drop Dre n Jackie off at Hunter’s apartment, on our way to the clinic that morning. Yea, well.. it wasn’t too long after MyDude played that excruciatingly hurtful song at me, that Jackie ran a her low-key batting her lashes bit at MyDude- gushing over every other song err artist that he chose to put on. Then proceeding on to go back n forth with him about who they have seen live && gushing all over every single one he shared. All from the backseat where she sat bitch next to Dre who was behind MyDude. Then as we got to their stop, they came up to a low-key dramatic situation that was shittiest for Jackie, having gotten into a big built up fight with Hunter the day before + her ex bestie, MissMe.inaction whom fucks with Dre, I guess, was also there && completely outa no where she all of the sudden starts persistently pushing to get MyDude to go inside with she and Dre, completely refusing NickBlunten’s eager offer to go up with them for her. But no, she aggressively insisted that she be accompanied by MYDUDE.. && you know i can’t even beg, guilt err bribe MyDude to back me up in similar situations. But there I was, stunned by what I was watching this girl run right in front of my face, as if I was not even seated right there the entire time.. my jaw finally dropping as I continue watching as he starts moving and reacting / responding to this whole situation in sucha way that immediately showed me that he was preparing himself to get out of the car asap. I responded without even thinking at all whatsoever, and casually got his attention, and privately expressing my perception of Jackie’s behavior and how it’s absolutely absurd to believe that she’d make that happen in sucha way. She clearly doesn’t properly understand who she’s been fuckin with; who I truly am.
Anyways, since then, I have more elaborately discussed everything with MyDude and increasingly fucked with him / gave him shit for his ‘new GF, Jackie Robinson’ (oh, ughh - I called him Christopher Robin- ugghh fuuuuuck..=|) && still, every time we spend time with her, she clings to MyDude’s nuts in all kinds of various ways, all of them cliche n obvious af that she whole heartedly believes that she is being sneaky and succeeding lol Eventually I told MyDude that if we are guna be around Jackie any more that I need him to not behave in ways that promote, condone or encourage her inappropriate actions towards, about and to him by any means. He needed to not only shoot her advances down, but also make a firm point to express his love, respect n loyalty to me in response to her every single time. So he was not only consistently rejecting her but proudly repin me n us at the same times too. He firmly agreed with me saying that he totally understood and was capable and willing to do so, being present and solid in his personal role within the entire situation. I immediately challenged him entirely, calling him out on prior situations that went down exactly like we just had before.. with him convincing me that he will absolutely act and behave a particular way within a previously​ predicted n anticipated situation with another individual whom I was beefin with at the time && how every single time did he not only betray me completely by not backing me up n behaving as he previously promises but furthermore, blatantly choosing to back up the opposing person and fighting against me, entirely on my own. He stayed unflinching, swearing promises of going to bat for my team this time around. And so, one a fuckin gain, I surely can’t truly hardly believe in an ounce of a single damn thing that he says.. but I don’t think I can live the rest of my life wondering what if he really has finally learned the error of his ways n is genuinly assuring me this time, with complete sincerity of what he is saying he’ll do. So, knowing all too damn well by this point that the probability err likeliness of this time being any different from each of the last times is slim to none.. Therefore, it’s beyond highly doubtful that MyDude is guna ultimately choose to simply invest, even the teensiest amount of himself into MY happiness n well being. But I hold onto the hope within the possibility n giving him the opportunity to completely fuck me off in the same exact way all over again n wait, watching in hopes of any kinda sign that this was really it this time afterall. Damn, fuckin a, man, how embarrassingly pathetic, ykno? Shit man, fuck! Ugh!
But yea, so.. the next time we spent with her was last night. She whined some dramatic shit about Dre being a dick to her n fucking her off n over n ’ leaving (her) for dead ’ so I immediately discussed the whole bit with MyDude n confirmed his solid promised word before hitting her back to say we r on the way to swoop her. She was right back at it from the very millisecond she entered into our presence. MyDude obviously wasnt all in err fully committed, if you will, but there was a definite improvement on his part none the less which lead to my overall choice to cut him some slack while enjoying the legitimate progress he’s made despite that we were most definitely not completely in the clear just yet, by any means. But I bit my tongue n stayed smiling anyways. It was late already as we picked her up so we were all together back at the pad for a very short legnth of time before we MyDude and I said goodnight n made our way to our bedroom together. We slept in uncommonly late the next day (today) ultimately leaving Jackie out in the garage until late this afternoon lol MyDude was quick to agree as I asked him to go wake her up as I finished up getting myself ready to head out to the clinic, taking n dropping Jackie off where she needed on the way. I mean, yes, I did ask him if he would please wake her so I could finish getting ready.. that’s completely true. BUT MyDude didn’t have to accept err agree. Not by any means. I mean, even tho we have not experienced this particular issue with each of our roles reversed like, I haven’t had to make any of the specific promises that he has had to make to keep me yet in the same situation vice versa, I would have automatically replied back to him saying, ’ no, he’s a guy, you wake him up, please?! If it was a girl I’d do it for the same reason of respect n loyalty but I’d totally appreciate it if you would handle the one on one kinda stuff whenever it’s another dude that we are kicking it with, ykno? Im not trying to make you mad or refuse to help you out when you specifically asked me to but I just think it’d be much more worth it to handle this this way, ykno? Is that okay? && Is there another way I can help you out right now? ’ .. all I’m saying is that there is absolutely no valid reason that MyDude wouldn’t be able to reply to me in a similar nature, right? Right. N the way that I see it, if he truly felt for me as he so consistently swears up n down to, then he should, naturally keeping me in his mind, find himself identifying the specific things I have talked to him about, afterwards, in real life, ykno? N when such situations arise again, he should be making a legit point to be handling everything differently then before in efforts of improving overall, to benefit me and my life n my overall well being. But whatever.. all in all, he chose to promptly agree to wake her as I asked n went right out n did it. Staying silent as he came back into our bedroom with me. Soon after that we were all back in our usual seats in my mom’s whip, dipping out to drop her off wherever on our way to the clinic together. As we made our way onto the freeway the song I Got 5 On It began playing on the station my lazy ass had left the radio on focusing moreso on finishing my makeup. As the song played I remembered the last time that we were making the same drive around the same time of day with Jackie n Dre, and how Jackie had made an obvious attempt to ’ unintentionally’ showoff how she knows all of the words to the whole song, as it’s a classic crowd pleaser, no doubt. She wanted to impress MyDude, having just recently run her first 'music match made in heaven’ bit on him right in front of my face. I mentioned out loud to him that I’d noticed how the song had played last time we were driving to drop her off n MyDude agreed without saying much but obviously thinking deeply in his head, sitting silent to my left. He soon began bursting out in little fits of laughter and Jackie would echo each and everytime without fail, n he continued to add little bitsof commentery with his laughter, that quickly let me know that the radio station had censored the song, slaughtering the lyrics up with super funny alternative lines n rhymes. So he and Jackie listened intently to the song, laughing together at every last little change as I stayed quiet, not knowin all of the words, thus not knowing when to laugh.. just stuck being left out while MyDude makes a point of obviously silently telling the braud who’s been crushing on him, that he likes and knows all the words to that song too n sits listening to keep on laughing with her over n over again, right in front of my face even though he’d just recently assured, promised, swore n even confirmed to me to reject her while reppin his love, respect n loyalty with me, remember? Yea.. && I knew the probability of this kinda outcome but I still held onto that stupid little hope within possibility, ykno? Ugghh!
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