The things? I destroy them.

Sometimes i'm a delicate flower princess and sometimes i'm a fierce dragon prince. Either way, my name is Michael.

[forever-counting-sheep]

Are you alive

Yea i'm alive i just don't use tumblr anymore

[forever-counting-sheep]

I love you

ty i love you too

[forever-counting-sheep]

krakatoa

wot

[babyanimalgifs]

[literarysext]

I can’t stop laughing

[lamaenthel]

okay but corgis are the wildest baseline doggo, u breed a corgi with any other pure bred and the dog will look like a short corgilicious version of the non-corgi breed

husky:

german shepherd:

dalmatian:

they’re all so beautiful thank you for your time

[catastrophiccharlie-deactivated]

I’m hyperventilating a little bit

[hollowedskin]

they’re all corgis in cosplay

[snarkymareep]

@the–smol–prince

[flirtyscorpio-deactivated201708]

Omgg

[kosmikkitten]

OMFG WUT

[x192]

[ultrafacts]

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

[maggiemunkee]

I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.

[vitiateoriginator]

that is one sadistic bird 

[mentalhealthfemme]

I am slightly afraid now.

[syndonic-deactivated20160709]

I love birds?

[toshio-the-starman]

African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.

I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.

Parrots are awesome.

[whatswrongwithblue]

I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.

He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.

Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble. 

Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours. 

If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!” 

If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.

But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all. 

[buggery-approved]

Parrots are people.

[countess7-deactivated20210515]

@oneshortdamnfuse

[theofficialvincenzo]

African Greys are like the greatest animal on the planet

[outragedbird]

When I was a kid, we had a rescued african grey called Dodi, and once I was arguing with my mum about my bed time, and the parrot (who had some very foul mouthed previous owners) just shouted at me “for fuck sake go to bed!” also whenever we hoovered he’d call us “yoooou dusty cunts” best thing was he had a scottish accent

[nuttyrabbit]

Reblogging for Scottish swearing parrot

[pati79]

I almost died choked with a piece of cake because of the last one.

[azcrowleyfell]

@farragoofwires

[fatherphillip]

@starlass

[blacberries]

my mom sent this text when i was late for our breakfast date and it sounds like text posts tht yall make

[axebombah-deactivated20150404]

[steveisnotonfire]

This has been in my queue for four months.

[marianascosta]

Here are all the garden witches I’ve ever drawn! 

(of course, redistributing any of these images publically is Bad, but the last 3 witches are commissions, so please don’t even take them personal use, thank you!)

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

That point in a piece of fanfiction where you can tell something embarrassing is about to happen so you start fucking around on tumblr because you’re a huge baby with a crippling overabudance of empathy.

[kvotheunkvothe]

I do this with every media I consume. I pause movies and have to walk around and prepare myself for second-hand embarrassment sometimes.

[chillsexual]

This is mE

[ladyprydian]

Secondhand embarrassment. I’ve got it. 

I sometimes mute movies or tv shows to avoid it. Especially if I know it’s coming. 

[justgot1]

I TOTALLY DO THIS.

[comedycentral]

Click here to watch more of Jordan Klepper and Jessica Williams’s safety tips for college students from last night’s Daily Show.

[itsnotjustpms]

Yeah, but… we’ve achieved equality????

[hrosanna]

Yeah. ‘Equality’. Hahaha funny.

[bee-suggest]

how to help sick bee!!

is bee on ground? is bee not moving much?? is bee tired??? help sick bee!!!

use paper to pick up bee! slide slowly under little bumbly legs and little bumbly body until bee is fully on paper

bring bee inside to open window or open door!!! when bee is better, bee will fly out!

make sugar water for bee! mix two (2) to three (3) tablespoons of sugar (can be normal sugar or organic sugar! no artificial, no diet sweetener, no sweetener, just sugar!!!!! no honey either!!!!!!) with one (1) tablespoon of water! stir until sugar dissolves!!!!

put sugar water on plate or spoon for bee! give to bee! put bee on clean parts of plate or hold spoon near bee! if bee gets stuck in sugar water, use paper to help them get unstuck!

let bee drink and rest!!!!!

can put a bowl / plate / container of sugar water outside for other bees!!!!! use same two to one (2:1) or three to one (3:1) ratio for mix!!!!!

[zestyzelda-deactivated20190110]

I tried this but the bee wouldn’t drink the sugarwater. Then I had the brilliant idea “Flowers” so I went out and picked some wildflowers and placed them near it. It didn’t have much energy, but it was able to crawl into one and start drinking the nectar. After sitting on the flower and chilling for a bit, it had the energy from the nectar to fly away.

[bee-suggest]

!!!!! more idea for helping bee friens!

[stability]

when will this happen to me

[thebutterflybabe]

I’ll be posting this week’s shop update tomorrow at 7pm eastern time 🦋 . you can turn on post notifications so you don’t miss out ••• . Love & Bugs - Sarah

[chaz]

“i saw this shit coming and i still did nothing about it” - the story of my life

[onlytwitterpics]

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

ME

[ruinedchildhood]