We may not have a release date for OFMD season 2 yet, but we still have big news:
Announcing the first ever Izzy Hands Bingo! Sign up and receive a unique bingo card, then use the prompts to create fan works all about our favorite first mate. Fic, art, podfic, moodboards, poetry—be creative!
Signups will be open June 2 and remain open until June 16. The event itself will run from June 23 to October 31, 2023. We also have a discord! A link to the server will be posted starting May 28.
If you have any questions…Your co-captains are here for you! There are a few ways to contact us: send us an email:
This was originally created as a side-blog, but it has now grown its own legs! Please follow any to-do with the Izzy Hands Bingo event at @izzyhandsbingo
Oh my god. This fic blacked out my SECOND Izzy Hands Bingo bingo card. I wrote so many words for this challenge...
Mind the warnings and see the author's note for more info on the warnings!
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Recovery, Myths & Legends, Royalty, Dubcon, Pegging, Stripping, Breath Play
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 7,538
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands
Characters: Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Fang (mentioned)
Additional Tags: alternative universe, Light Hurt/Comfort, Stede is hurt, Stede is a siren, Royalty, dubcon, see author’s note about that, trans izzy, Stripping, breath play, Anal Sex, Penis-in-Vagina Sex, Marking
Series: Part 9 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: “Well, fuck me sideways,” is what falls from Ivan’s lips when they haul up the fishing nets for the day, and for once, Izzy is absolutely inclined to agree.
There are fish in the nets, sure, but the catch Ivan is commenting on is definitely not something they’d usually haul up: a blond-haired, fish-tailed person is tangled in their nets. The mer-person doesn’t seem to be thrashing but instead seems intrigued by what’s going on, their head cocked and a serene smile on their face, and they are humming softly.
It’s almost like they want to be caught.
Or: Ed and Izzy are pirates, and they catch a mer-person. Or do they?
[No s2 spoilers here]
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Recovery, Myths & Legends, Royalty, Dubcon, Pegging, Stripping, Breath Play
The first ever Rizzy fic was followed up with my first Izzy/Lucius fic. This turned out pretty dark, so please MIND THE TAGS on this one.
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Lucius, Nightmares, A Ring
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 3,205
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Israel Hands/Lucius Spriggs, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands (past), Israel Hands/Benjamin Hornigold (past), Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet (Background)
Characters: Israel Hands, Lucius Spriggs, Benjamin Hornigold (Mentioned), Blackbeard | Edward Teach (Mentioned), Stede Bonnet (Mentioned)
Additional Tags: Modern AU, Trauma, Nightmares, Dreams, Dream Logic, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Violence, Implied Torture, Cuddles, Turned darker Than Expected, Implied Previous Sexual Assault, Scars (both mental and physical)
Series: Part 8 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: Izzy watches the ocean, a sense of calm running through him as he listens to the lapping of the waves against the hull of the ship beneath his feet. The sun is high in the sky, and he’s clad in his signature black leather, and yet, he feels comfortable. He remembers a time when he wasn’t comfortable, when he was stowed belowdecks and wasn’t allowed to come out, but he pushes that thought, that memory away, and instead thinks about the water below him. Imagines the waves. Imagines whatever it is that’s swimming below them, all creatures great and small. Imagines the rest of his day going just like this, calm and quiet and uninterrupted, and he hopes it will be one of those days.
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Lucius, Nightmares, A Ring
First ever Rizzy fic! It's mostly friendship but mayyyy be more. Writing Roach was a blast, to be honest!
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Magic, Candles, Roach
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Word count: 3,208
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Israel Hands & Roach (Our Flag Means Death), Israel Hands/Roach (Our Flag Means Death) (implied)
Characters: Roach (Our Flag Means Death), Lucius Spriggs, Oluwande Boodhari, The Swede (Our Flag Means Death), Black Pete (Our Flag Means Death), Wee John Feeney, Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet (Mentioned), Blackbeard | Edward Teach (Mentioned)
Additional Tags: Magic Rituals, Roach-centric, Light Pining, Pre-Relationship, post S1, Just a silly little thing, Olu & Roach bonding moments
Series: Part 7 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: Roach has always believed in magic. Not in that stage kind of magic, where someone pretends to find a coin behind someone’s ear, or the one where people pretend to catch a bullet between their teeth. Or you know, literally anything. No, he believes in the magic that is unexplainable, the kind of magic that is just there. The kind of magic you don’t want to or should not mess around with. That kind.
“Sooooooo, that’s a no on being part of a ritual to see if Blackbeard is still alive?” Lucius drawls and Roach wants to bury his face in his hands. Instead, he just groans.
AKA: Lucius decides that the way to find out if Blackbeard is still alive is a magic ritual, Roach disagrees and finds himself missing Izzy.
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Magic, Candles, Roach
Sometimes something niggles your brain so badly that it wants out. So: we're putting Izzy with Anton and Viago to see what happens!
This is an OFMD x WWDITS (the film) crossover :D Tentatively a series because I might at some point write more of this
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for squares: Time travel, Crossover, Witchcraft, Swallows, Free Space
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Word count: 6,082
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Anton/Viago (What We Do in the Shadows), Israel Hands/Anton/Viago (What We Do In the Shadows) (implied), Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet (mentioned), Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands (implied)
Characters: Israel Hands, Anton (What We Do in the Shadows), Viago (What We Do in the Shadows), Blackbeard | Edward Teach (Mentioned), Stede Bonnet (Mentioned)
Additional Tags: Crossover, Time Travel, Witchcraft, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Steddyhands, Relationship Discussions, Feelings, emotional discussions, Izzy’s mostly confused here, Viago and Anton talk some sort of sense into him, David Jenkis School of Historical Accuracy, (but also for like modern accuracy)
Series: Part 5 of Izzy Hands Bingo, Part 1 of Temporary (dis)placement
Summary: Izzy doesn’t know what happened, if he’s honest. One moment, he is trying to figure out where the fuck Bonnet and Edward had gone in the mess of the market, turning corner after corner in sort of hopes of finding whatever dark alley they’d found to make out (and also desperately hoping they hadn’t been taken since Bonnet tended to forget he was a wanted man, now), the next, he finds himself near some kind of water that definitely wasn’t there before.
(Or: Izzy accidentally travels through space and time and arrives in Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand in the twenty-first century.)
Fill for squares: Time travel, Crossover, Witchcraft, Swallows, Free Space
When one of the prompts is flower shop au/tattoo shop au and you can't help but combine them and also somehow write 15k. Whoops.
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Tattoo/flower shop AU, Semi-public sex, Mutual pining, Enemies to Lovers, Dirty Talk, Roleplay, Hate/Angry Sex
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Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 15,410
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Characters: Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Lucius Spriggs, Fang (Our Flag Means Death)
Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, flower shop au, Tattoo Shop AU, Edward cannot google to save his life, established Stede/Izzy, Dirty Talk, Fantasies about Edward Teach, eventual polyamory, Mutual Pining, david jenkins school of accuracy, (Look I have run a store but not a tattoo parlour or flower shop? Grain of salt pls), Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Semi-Public Sex, Oral Sex, Roleplay, Angry Sex, Power Dynamics, They’re all horny for each other, Begging, light degradation, light domination, Light ass swatting
Series: Part 6 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: If you had told Izzy he’d co-own a flower shop-slash-tattoo parlour at age fifty, with someone he met at a local business owners’ meeting and then fell in love with, he’d called you a cunt, a twat, and a liar to boot.
(Or: Izzy and Stede are partners in every sense of the word; they co-own a flower shop and tattoo parlour. Then, one day, a new store opens across the street, one that does exactly the same thing as they do. What will happen when one of the most famous tattoo artists settles across the street from a small, locally owned store?)
Fill for Izzy Hands Bingo squares: Tattoo/flower shop AU, Semi-public sex, Mutual pining, Enemies to Lovers, Dirty Talk, Roleplay, Hate/Angry Sex
We finally have our results for you! After much hard work from our 97 bingoers, we have 7 full blackouts, and 1 double blackout!
Ed/Izzy may have taken the top of the list for number of works, but the good ships Rizzy and Sprizzy made our top 5 list as well!
Over two hundred works were submitted, wow!
Thank you all for bringing this event to life; we're so happy to see so much creativity as a result! A link to the collection can be found here where you can perceive many of the lovely things created for Izzy Hands Bingo 2023.
Thanks again to everyone who participated, and let's continue celebrating our indestructible little fucker!
My favorite ultra-specific character type is "this fucked up little man clearly just needs a consensual BDSM relationship and some therapy and he'd be fine, but that is very much not what happens in this story."
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for squares: Crack, Car sex, Car crash, Break It, Free Space
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 5,332
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Characters: Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach
Additional Tags: Road Head, Crack, crack adjacent, Car Sex, ed and izzy are married, Open Relationship, Polyamory, Fellatio, (Accidental) Edging, Daddy Kink, Izzy and Stede ganging up on Ed, Under-negotiated Kink, mild dub con, Cunnilingus, Penetrative Sex, Penis-in-Vagina Sex, Dirty Talk, Trans Stede Bonnet, Trans Character, Poly-V to Circle Nearly Closing, if that makes sense, Car crash(es) mentioned, (Accidental) Outing
Series: Part 1 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: The second Izzy opens the door to the car and is met with Edward’s grin – mischievous and cocky – Izzy knows this is a bad idea. Whatever Ed’s plan is, it’s bad.
“Hello, Israel,” Izzy hears from the backseat, and oh hell, he’s going to murder Edward.
Fill for squares: Crack, Car sex, Car crash, Break It, Free Space
[Read it on AO3]
This was a lot of fun to write; a different read on why Izzy went to sea!
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for squares: Ivan, Origin story
——–
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Word Count: 1,061
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Israel Hands & Ivan (Our Flag Means Death)
Characters: Israel Hands, Ivan (Our Flag Means Death), Original Male Character
Additional Tags: Origin Story, How Izzy Came to the Sea (Happier edition), Izzy & Ivan friendship, OMC as captain
Series: Part 2 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: Israel Hands is 12 when he decides that working the docks isn’t remotely what he wants to do, that it isn’t close enough to the sea, that he needs to actually find a ship and board. He’s 12, and he’s smart enough to know that his parents would miss him and he’d be abused on the ship, but it’s hard to let go of that thought. It’s pervasive in everything he does, it underlies most of the decisions he makes, but he doesn’t go.
Israel Hands is 14 when he tries to look at these thoughts driving him to sea again. His dad has died, his mom is remarried, his stepfather doesn’t care but keeps every single one of his brothers and sisters fed without complaint. Still, he sees the strain, sometimes, and he wonders if going to sea would lessen that strain. He’s still working the docks, still thinks about the ocean, but he still doesn’t go.
Israel Hands is 16 when a young man, probably around the same age as Israel is, approaches him and clasps his wrist, and changes the trajectory of his life.
(Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t Edward who first drew Izzy to the ocean. It was Ivan.)
I love getting to put this many bingo squares together into one sort-of-coherent and way more emotional fic than I thought it'd be.
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for squares: 5+1, Edward Teach, Obsession, Hair Pulling, Nipple Play, Blood, Oral Sex, 69, Scars, Tattoos, Cock and Ball Torture, Ooh Daddy, Fluff
——–
Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 16,951
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet
Characters: Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet
Additional Tags: 5+1 Fic, Submissive Izzy Hands, dominant Edward Teach, Switch Stede Bonnet, Blowjobs, Oral Sex, 69, Hair Pulling, Kneeling, Dom Drop, Sub Drop, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Communication, Pain Kink, Aftercare, Checking in, Voyeurism, Knife Play, Blood, Scars, Bondage, Restraints, Begging, Praise Kink, Tattoos, Nipple Play, Cock and Ball Torture, safety pins, alternative universe, mention of a stabbing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Polyamory, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, More Emotions Than Expected, Annoying Colleagues, Stede Bonnet Has a Big Dick
Series: Part 3 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary:
Izzy knows he’s obsessed, and he knows that obsessions are generally bad, but he can’t help himself. The first time he saw his new Dom, he was absolutely sold, and that quickly turned into adoration, then obsession.
Really, he should be glad that he’s still welcome at Blackbeard’s Dance and Social Meets Club. It’s probably because he tips well and is polite when needed. He just... may be a little obsessed with Edward. With Blackbeard. The man who came up with the idea of masking a BDSM club in a dance club and running with it – as if people can’t put two and two together and see that the ridiculous name on the front of the building and think, huh, that looks very much like B-D-S-M Club.
But it’s not Izzy’s role to critique Edward Teach’s choices. No, it’s his role to submit to Edward Teach.
AKA: 5 times Izzy wants it to hurt and gets what he wants, and once he doesn’t.
Fill for squares: 5+1, Edward Teach, Obsession, Hair Pulling, Nipple Play, Blood, Oral Sex, 69, Scars, Tattoos, Cock and Ball Torture, Ooh Daddy, Fluff
Holiday fic but write it during the summer whooooooo (also Stede's a slut for Izzy's dick). This fic ticked the last squares, and I've got a full blackout for the Izzy Hands Bingo :D
Written for the @izzyhandsbingo
Fill for squares: Secret dating, Holidays, College AU, Flowers, Winter
——–
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 2,917
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Characters: Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands
Additional Tags: holiday fic, College AU, College Professor Stede Bonnet, Student Israel Hands, Age Difference, Secret dating, Bottom Stede Bonnet, Top Israel Hands, Table Sex, Dorm Sex, Name-Calling, degradation kink, Needy Bottom Stede Bonnet, Light Spanking, Begging, Ripping Off Clothes, Stede Bonnet Is A Whore For Izzy’s Cock, Come Leaking Out As A Kink, Light crack, #bottomstedeweek
Series: Part 4 of Izzy Hands Bingo
Summary: Stede didn’t think that he’d ever have to sneak anything behind anyone’s back, but here he is: a college professor in his forties, halfway through incredibly messy divorce proceedings because both his wife’s and his own parents wanted to get involved, secretly dating one of his students.
Or well.
Israel Hands isn’t technically one of his students anymore, but that’s where and when it started, and so that’s how Stede still feels about it.
AKA: Stede and Izzy are dating in secret, and Stede makes Izzy Christmas dinner. Fucking ensues instead.
Fill for squares: Secret dating, Holidays, College AU, Flowers, Winter
aka i picked a random square off my @izzyhandsbingo card for inspiration and got sports au. which I thought would be the least inspiring square because I'm not into sports, but then I figured maybe ballet counts and blacked out for 45 minutes. this also (or at least) ticks off the trans box. I should post my card probably.
disclaimer I don't know shit about the ballet world. I did do ballet for ten years but I've forgotten most of both the technique and the terminology.
***
the line of dancers moves in diagonal, balanced perfectly on Izzy's axis as he twirls them and lifts them across the centre, one by one. where skin is just skin, other bodies just white-lycra bundles of muscle, passing through his body like lightning bolts hungry for the black mat under his feet. his heart is beating, alive and grounded, but a charge is building, a climax not written into the choreography but ringing alarm bells in his every fibre. girl by girl it approaches, until his hands close on Ed's waist and ribcage, join their flesh into one thrumming movement, a soaring where he, too, leaves the ground. the glow of Ed's brilliant, focused smile lingers, and Izzy finishes the scene in a daze, comfortable enough after weeks of habituation. he only stumbles when he reaches the stairs backstage.
he watches Ed's final solo from the wings, a water bottle by his elbow. Ed flies through the stage en pointe, graceful and effortless, transformed, so that Izzy almost forgets it's Ed at all, that he's himself at all. he returns to the stage to bow beside her, transferring the beginning of the movement from her hand to the hand of the girl on his left, a staggered swing of arms sweeping them into a bow to the left, centre, right.
"you're tempting fate," he says leaning by the stage door in tights and a fleece. it's a crisp, clear night, raising two sharp points under Ed's threadbare black sweater, too thin for October. which she was probably counting on.
"life is for living," Ed shrugs and blows stark cigarette smoke in his direction. she's never as beautiful as half an hour after a show, in sweatpants and full makeup, pearls glittering in her long fake lashes, still bouncing a little from the adrenaline. she slithers closer with purpose, rests her cigarette-holding hand on Izzy's shoulder. he imagines leaning into it. he has already fallen open by the time Ed bends down to kiss him.
in her dressing room, she presses Izzy into the door, tears off his fleece and t-shirt, arches her back when his hands find her tender budding breasts under the ratty sweater. he's overwhelmed by her smell, sweat and hairspray and smoke. overwhelmed by permission to grab her and hold her and seek her, suck a bruise into her chest, low enough that the leotard will cover.
he staggers when she prances backwards, stripping off her shirt. she leans into the dressing table like a suggestion, and like something more fragile. Izzy swallows, follows, like a lamb who for the wolf will even play the wolf. he's hungry enough; mouth on her nipple and hand charting the long hard line of her cock he's enough. he pulls down her pants, pushes her back onto the narrow ledge of table, and she spreads her thighs, leaning against the mirror. he sits down on the makeup stool, sinks it low with a hissing pull of the lever.
Ed flutters under his tongue, grasps his head close like she's convulsing, flexing him like another muscle. he laves and sucks and licks into her, one hand massaging the head of her cock, until she's trembling and keening.
"Izzy," she moans, and it's always a shock. he rushes back into his body, hot and pulsing between his legs, breath stuttering in gulps, too much. he pants against her taint, leans his forehead on her thigh.
"Izzy –" she whimpers and he knows. his body knows before him, maybe. he pulls her to the lopsided armchair, curses when he realises he's still trapped in his tights and briefs, fumbles them off to fall into her lap, and she's at his opening and she's at – and she's in him – the perfect fit, so smooth, so full, he's almost – they're moving but it feels like being still, wrapped up in each other, skin much more than skin and muscle much more than muscle.
"I'm –" Ed pants and "can I –", as if it's up to Izzy to grant or deny her anything, but he whispers a thready "yes" into her hair, "please, Ed, please." she shoots inside him and he squeezes, grinds his cock into her pelvis, and he's so close he could cry, shoves a hand between them, and whites out on his own fingers.
she twitches when her cock slips out, but doesn't let Izzy go. their flesh is flesh again, damp and heavy and heaving. he lets himself shudder just a little.
