Summary: You were having a really bad day. Conner decides to help cheer you up and make sure your drunk ass doesn’t face plant on the side walk.
a/n: Special thanks to @anothertimdrakestan for helping with the ending and helping with editing! Love you, Elle!
warnings: alcohol and swearing and author does not know how alcohol works. No one is under the drinking age. This may benefit from more editing.
“Mosht people are jusht the careful scaffolding of complexshesh,” you slurred, your face red, head half buried in your arms, and golden ear cuffs winking under the dim bar lights.
“You somehow still sound like a fucking nerd even you’re when drunk,” Conner laughed throwing his head back, handsome face stretched with a cheeky smile. “You look like a mess,” he said softly, reaching out for your cheek.
“Fuhk you! Not eberyone can be born too pretty for their own guhd- how did yah evehn know I was here? It was Tim wasn’t it! ”
“Good guess buuuut it was actually Bart” Conner explained casually taking a seat next to you as you lifted your head momentarily before plopping it back down to stare at the amber gloss of the drink. The light from the ceiling seemed to dance so elegantly in your eyes even as you wrinkled your brows. “That rat,” you cursed miserably into your arm.
Across from you, a pretty brunette shot you two a wink and without looking you could tell Conner flirted in kind. Normally, you’d have the audacity to steal the girl’s attention away before Conner could even make a proper move but tonight you were in absolutely no mood to be charming. In fact, you were sloshed. You didn’t know whether it was the fourth or fifth drink that did it but there you were sitting next to one of the most attractive people he knew with your makeup smeared and eyes still swollen and puffy. You kind of just want a portal to open up and swallow you.
The brunette made a motion to her friends which indicated that she was gonna try her luck and you wished her the best of luck. You bit your soft lips before pressing them into a pout. It took everything in Conner not to kiss you on the spot. Be the responsible one they said. It would be fun, they said.
“Have fun,” you said, patting him on the shoulder, cutting him off curtly; placing some cash on the bar before leaving. The buxom brunette approached Conner placing a hand on the shoulder you’d just touched moments before. He didn’t seem to notice her, his mind still lingering on the warmth of your hand. Before she can say anything, he pivots and runs towards you .
The casual slump in your shoulders in place of your usual elegance was a pretty good indication that you would probably fall in a gutter before you got home. Conner highly doubted you could see straight.
“I can’t believe Roz let you get this sloshed without checking on you,” He joked bringing one of your arms over his shoulder and slinging his own arm around you for balance. You walked like a newborn horse. It was incredibly embarrassing and you wanted to die. Conner, on the other hand, just found it incredibly hilarious.
"She’s out getting into her own brand of sloshed at a bachelorette party,“
"Huh. Didn’t know she was the wedding type. Thought she hated going to those,”
“She’s the stripper,” You deadpanned, sounding abnormally sober. With that Conner let out a genuinely hearty laugh. You would trade all the martinis, dackories, and margaritas in the world just to get drunk on that laugh.
“That reminds me,” Conner drawled, adjusting his hold feeling just how shaky you were from the late October Metropolis weather pressing you closer to his warm body. You kind of wanted to melt into his side but you had too much pride. “Bart never said why you were out here getting shit faced,” You frowned at him but couldn’t really muster any sharpness into your expression.
There were lots of reasons to get ‘shit faced’ even in shiny Metropolis. You twitched your nose and mouth side to side gathering the makings of a sentence. Where do you even start? Your little sister got suspended, your mother (who somehow found out you were in Metropolis) is either demanding money or for you to drop everything to go back home to help around the house (translation: help out with the bills while babysitting your siblings), Bats and some other league members were on your ass for the last mission (probably the only thing on this list you found reasonable), this morning, you got fired from your library job so they could hire Marco’s girlfriend (who is in fact a perfectly nice person which means you can’t really hate her), or the dozens of little annoyances such as Bart not being able to keep his trap shut.
“This week was just a little much,"
A long moment of silence passes between you. Uncharacteristic for Conner but it was cute that he thought silence would make you fess up.
"You know I could have gone home on my own. That brunette looked like she was up for a good time,"
"Yeah right. Also you’re welcome."
"You’re right. Thank you for getting blue balled this fine evening to escort me” you didn’t want to be prickly but Conner was being too nice and that made your skin crawl. Why couldn’t he be mean to you right now like a normal person?
“First off, she wasn’t even my type-” You raised a brow.
“Kon, her tits were the size of Jupiter-"
"Did you really just say 'tits’?"
You threw him a scowl clearly sobering up from irritation.
"Shut up. Point iiiis, you didn’t have to-”
“Oh for the love of- yes, I said tits. Speaking of which you should be staring at some instead of having to lug my sorry ass around on this fabulous Friday evening." Your hand fluttering, gesturing vaguely in the air.
"Eh. There’ll be other Fridays” Kon shrugged. Pulling you closer and some selfish part of you felt relieved.
Much to your surprise (you really ought not to be), Roz wasn’t home yet which meant you had to dig out the keys from the secret hiding spot- another hassle. You reached out peeling a hilariously well concealed hole in the wall and fished out the set of jingling keys. Conner looked like he was between amusement and bewilderment. Good enough. At least, this stopped Conner’s 30 minute TED Talk about the new 70s sitcom he’d found.
You two entered the shoe box apartment clumsily thanks to your disastrous limbs.
You blew out a breath and muttered a thanks as Conner helped you plop onto the couch. Though, it was more like gravity decided to magnetize your body to the couch and Conner just let it happen.
You shut his eyes for a moment wrapping a ragged blanket around you. You made a mental note to raid the thrift store for a new one. Preferably one void of holes.
“So what’s up and don’t you dare say it was nothing. I’ve never seen you this hammered before,” He said handing you a mug of steaming hot chocolate.
“Does it occur to you that I might get hammered like this often and you might just not see it? Who knows maybe I’m actually a functional alcoholic?"
"Ok, first off, you are barely functional. Second, that might be your weakest deflection yet. Try again,"
"I didn’t mean it lite- just tell me what happened. Everyone’s worried,"
You stared at the steam rising from the fresh cup of cocoa. It was none of Conner’s business. It was no one’s business. Your friends were too goddamn nice. Blowing out another breath, you said "You might wanna sit down too,"
Conner takes his own mug of hot cocoa and sits next to you because for some reason eye contact made you a better liar and Conner for all his dumb decisions wasn’t gonna let you off the hook that easily. You shifted uncomfortably and muttered about either Cassie or Roz ratting you out. He assumed it was the eye contact thing. Conner felt a little offended. He might not be Tim but he’s smart enough to figure it out on his own. Despite his hurt feelings and bruised ego, he decided to table that and focus on the current issue or, likely, issues.
"Do you want it in alphabetical order?"
"Please tell me you can actually do that,” Conner teased with a wide grin. You couldn’t fight off a smile forming on your face. “Sadly, I am not Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. My brain cells work like a normal person’s,”
"Death only fixes stupid when you stay dead. You’ve seen Red Hood and whichever other Ex-Robin has been to the pearly gates,”
“You say that as if Jason wouldn’t tell the big man to fuck off,"
You blinked and turned your head up to the ceiling. "Ok that’s true,” You conceded, your mouth twitching rapidly from side to side making you look like an exasperated rabbit. Cute.
All the good mood from the past few minutes dissipated in an instant. You looked down solemnly at the still steaming mug. You were silent for what felt like an eternity.
"It’s family- Immediate. And the source of all evil-"
You snorted a shy tired smile cracked across your face. You shook your head. Those little gestures just make Conner feel a little warmer. You, on the other hand, cursed at how easily Conner could make you laugh. You were supposed to be sad damn it.
"Money,” Conner knew immediate family was always a sore spot for you. No one knew the specifics except Roz but that was inevitable when you’re cousins. Money was also a sore spot and based on your near dead tone. You’ve either lost a lot of it or you’re in a tight spot but not ready to elaborate.
“Wanna try buying a lottery ticket?”
“Who knows you might get lucky?"
"You could have gotten lucky you if you-"
"Are you seriously gonna keep bringing that up?"
"Yes, most likely. Depends,"
"On whether I can think of something funnier to give you shit about or if you can convince me-whatever the fuck you’re thinking of doing stop!"Conner’s cheeky grin did not disappear nor did the faint flush on your cheeks.
"I wasn’t thinking of anything, you sick pervert” he laughed. You really should have been exasperated with Conner. You tried damn it. You looked at him skeptically before violently letting his head rest on Conner’s shoulder causing the other boy to fall over.
“Aaaaaaawwwww babe , if you wanted to cuddle you could have just said so,"
You wanted to. In fact, both of you wanted to. But unfortunately neither of you were martian and neither of you was willing to say jack. You closed your eyes trying to pretend Conner wasn’t a little shit. Conner radiated too much smug for that though.
"Shut up,” You mumbled into Conner’s shoulder already feeling sleep pull him under. You clung to him. Maybe just for tonight you can indulge in this. Just for a little while you can cling to Conner’s warmth. Maybe in the morning your head will ache too much to remember this. Waking up alone wouldn’t be too painful then. Hopefully.
You woke up feeling like a troop of Can Caning hippos decided to host a live performance all over your head. You sighed remembering that you had in fact run out of Aspirin just days before so you decided on just lying there and praying that Roz also needed Aspirin and had more energy to run to the store.
You settled in nuzzling in to the warm-
Nothing in the apartment should be warm.
Then, you heard it. A LOUD snore. It honestly sounded more like the roar of an engine than anything. Everything else followed. The slow rising and falling of the chest beneath you, the press of stubble against your forehead, and the strong arms loosely wrapped around you.
Yeah. You died again. Yeah. You finally went to heaven. Yup. You were ok with that. You were definitely 100% A Ok with this if this was heaven. Being held tenderly by the guy you liked while you got a good night’s sleep was definitely heaven. God, you were such a sap.
How the hell you missed all of that baffled you.
Oh wait. Dancing hippos. Fuck.
Your head felt like it was threatening to crack open but somehow you honestly could not mind even if you tried. You were laying on top of a hot (literally and metaphorically) guy mutually cuddling. You nuzzled into the junction between Conner’s neck and shoulder in an attempt to steal more warmth. Sure, you were probably gonna go deaf from the snoring. Sure, you were definitely irritated by the stubble pressed against your face. And sure, you would probably die of embarrassment once Conner woke up. You could worry about all that later. All you could think about was how nicely your arms fit around Conner’s neck and how Conner’s arms wrap around you a little tighter in return.
You could hear the distinct sound of your own camera shutter. Each sound chipped away at your peace of mind. You lifted your head only to see Roz holding your camera.
Your cousin was nothing if not a petty opportunist.
“I would tell you to get a room buuuut the only bedroom iiiiis preeeeeeetty occupied,” Roz drawled smugly way too pleased with herself. You opened his mouth to ask but you’d already made the mistake of walking in on Roz and a guest once and you were pretty sure you needed more therapy for that than you did for your murder. You just sighed as Roz took another picture.
“Come on, (y/n), smile a little,”
“I’m not smiling for your blackmail material,”
Roz gasped trying to sound scandalized. She failed, only sounding amused beyond belief. “It’s only blackmail if you’re ashamed of it. Personally, I think you’re scoring big time,”
“Roz please just fuck off before you wake him up,”
“Too fuckin’ late for that. He’s been awake for awhile,”
You could feel Conner smiling into your hair and his arms wrap around you a little tighter. You tried to straighten up. To tower over him. To look intimidating.
But…. you couldn’t. You were kind of trapped because, yanno, super strength.
You were seething and threw a scowl at Conner who only chuckled at you in response.
“You’re never gonna let me live this down, are you?” You snarled, clearly exasperated and feeling the hippos start their encore performance.
“ Mmmmmm, it depends,” Nope. The hippos did not only come back for an encore. They brought friends. Based on the absolutely smug look on Conner’s face, you were in for an entire parade.
You let out a breath not sure if you wanted to play this game but not really seeing any other options. “On what?“
Conner paused and hummed and hummed and hummed some more as if he was actually thinking but you knew from the crook of his lips that he had this planned out. Maybe not this exact scenario but something close“Go out on a date with me,”
You blinked then rolled your eyes theatrically enough that your head rolled along with it. “And be seen with you in public?” You teased, an almost sheepish smile tugging at your features.
Yeah, Conner wasn’t exactly expecting you to say yes.
“Yeah. Sure. Why not?” You said playing it off as casually as possible but you couldn’t help but mirror the absolutely goofy grin plastered on Conner’s face. His happiness was infectious. You felt weightless. It was probably the fact that you were floating with him but you were pretty sure you were just on cloud nine. You were doomed. Definitely, inevitable, indubitably doomed. Even though everything has been shit up to now. The happiness radiating off of Conner was enough to make everything feel a little better.
Thank you so much for reading!
@batarella (I thought you might like it?)
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