Kirbystander

23 | He/haw

[foxchasesneither]

Spiderman basically unlocked the avatar state.

And his eyes going black instead of glowing is a subtle nod to him being broke and not being able to pay his electricity bills.

[foxchasesneither]

One must imagine the itsy bitsy spider happy

[foxchasesneither]

Monday a pigeon falls

Just an ordinary pigeon,

Did his work, ate his bread

Lived a life of labour

Now, breathing laboured

lies limp, broken wings

The kind men all gather around it

Sympathy on their faces

They take it in their hands

Cursing such untimely ends

Stroking its head, stroking their own

They pass it around,

Soothing it, soothing themselves

Until it reaches the hand of a devil,

Tears in his eyes,

He breaks the pigeons neck

Wednesday, if another pigeon falls

Everything will be fine

For, on tuesday,

The kind men broke the devil’s spine

-KS

08.06.26

This is inspired by misinterpretation of the work of a really cool person I recently met

[foxchasesneither]

One day we will turn to ash, but we are stories forever

We are just kindling, books and people alike

-KS

25.03

[foxchasesneither]

Outside my window,

Leafless branches shake in the wind

Dark clouds rush by, in the grey skies

And Inside,

A pale imitation of the summertime Sun

It hurts my eyes, the cold flourescent light

But no bleak clouds can cover the Sun

and no biting wind disturbs the flowers

that I doodled on my bench,

on that sunny afternoon

a couple weeks before winter begun

A promise of summer, an upcoming recollection

-KS

10.02.2026

Seasons on my desk/ doodles in the sky: 02 Winter

[foxchasesneither]

Leaves of the tree

that I drew on my bench, last summer

with a permanent marker

have finally begun to fade

It seems, autumn has finally made

its way inside

-KS

10.02.2026

The seasons on my desk/ the doodles in the sky : 01. Fall

[foxchasesneither]

Just finished stranger things and not enough people are talking about the right things.

LIKE- HOW ABSOLUTELY BADASS THE WHEELER WOMEN ARE

Holly the heroic slugs-vecna-in-the-face-with-a-fire-poker Wheeler

Nancy-which-one-of-us-is-bait-NO-FUCKING-HESITATION-I-am Wheeler

And Karen rips-out-her-goddamn-IV-takes-out-the-goddamn-“laundry”-while-basically-half-dead Wheeler

[release-the-sheep]

[metamorphesque]

One of the heaviest misconceptions we grow up with and one that becomes a deep well of frustration in adulthood, is the idea that 'in the end, Good defeats Evil'. As you age and learn the inner workings of the world, you notice the impossibility of that statement. Evil is far more resourceful, for it is not limited by moral codes or 'red lines'. To Evil, everything is permissible; it holds nothing sacred and knows no conscience.

Good, however, is defined by the lines it cannot cross. There are deeds that cannot be committed without sacrificing the very qualities that make Good 'good'. Once those lines are blurred, little remains to differentiate the two. Thus, the arsenal of Evil is inherently richer.

'In the end, Good does not defeat Evil'. Yet, this does not mean Evil stands victorious. In the end, it is Evil that defeats Evil. This is a lesson I am learning through Professor's writings: it was foolish to think the Fellowship (and all that was good in Middle Earth) could have defeated Sauron through strength alone. As we saw, it wasn't Frodo or Sam who destroyed the Ring; it was the greed and malice the Ring breathed into its 'slaves' that brought its own demise. But this was only possible because of the very goodness of many. The mercy shown by Bilbo and Frodo toward Gollum stayed the hand of fate just long enough for Evil to trip over its own feet. Had Good acted 'resourcefully' and killed Gollum when they had the chance, they would have removed the very instrument of Evil’s self-destruction. This does not mean we wait idly; the Fellowship did everything 'humanly' (hah) possible to reach the Cracks of Doom, but it was the inherent rot within Evil that finally finished the task.

It is terribly painful to admit that, in this world, Good is not as 'powerful' as Evil in the way we typically measure strength. A significant part of me shall never accept this and will continue to fight against it with every fiber of my being. It seems a cruel joke that Good must win by the self-destruction of its enemy, while Evil wins by design. But if the only way to gain that 'power' is to become as ruthless as the Shadow, then the price is too high. I will continue to rage against this imbalance, even as I try to hold onto the mercy that infuriatingly is our only real hope.

[foxchasesneither]

Maybe the world just needs a little bit more of-

[foxchasesneither]

Once more, once again,

It’s dark, I can’t move, I can’t breathe

I know there are patterns that led me here,

Signs that I see, but I don’t, not really, not clearly

I’m scared to look more closely

So, could you see them, for me?

Or could you lend me your eyes?

Lend me your hands, legs and mind, while you’re at it too

I’ll keep my heart though, even if sometimes it beats too fast

Who knows, without my mind, it may do what it’s supposed to

And then things will be alright, right?

Your thoughts, my emotions

My love, your directions

And then, maybe they’ll finally point at me

And all that love I have to give, I’ll learn to keep some for me

And then maybe I’ll finally be free of this critique, inside of me

Maybe then, I could see

The patterns that lead me here? Probably no, not really

But at least, the love, the beauty that’s all around me

Then maybe I’ll return your eyes, look its bright outside

Maybe I’ll go for a nice walk and return your legs too

I’ll keep your mind though, till i feel sane

I’ll hold me with your arms, till I can breathe again

Till this feeling in my chest is gone,

Hey look, my favourite show is on

Here, I’ll return your arms, I’ll even return your mind

For it may be selfish to hold on to it for so long

But I’ll keep holding your hands, if I ever need you-

Once more, once again

- KS

29.05

I know this though, I’ll have to use my own mouth to ask for help

[foxchasesneither]

Oh to be able to fly

- Me looking at birds fly, riding my bike, listening to Romantic Flight from httyd by John Powell

This movie had great music

- Me shortly after still listening to the song on loop

I should rewatch it

- Me less shortly after.

Oh to be able to fly

- Me after- shortly after- now watching httyd

This movie had great music

- Me still watching httyd

I should rewatch it

- Me shortly after finishing the movie

( I didn’t rewatch it coz law of diminishing marginal utility )

[foxchasesneither]

In that reflection, Maybe narcissus wasn’t looking at his own face

Maybe he just faced, the world through a watery image

because he was afraid of facing it head on

Maybe he wasn’t vain and proud,

maybe his ears just preferred echoes over sound

Maybe he tried to look up, to get up from where he sat

But maybe it was just too vibrant and blinding to look at

the blue of the sky, the yellow of the flowers

Or maybe he just liked the way they moved in the water, the stars

And while all the heroes went about seeking glory,

maybe Narcissus alone was content with his story

And maybe he’s just a bit misunderstood,

Maybe he’d get up from the edge of the pond, if he could

Maybe he’d get strong, and not be so subdued

And he’d stare at all things the red, green and blue

But could he ever look a person in the eye, and not look for his own reflection?

I wouldn’t know, only he would

-KS

01.02

[foxchasesneither]

Narcissus’s reply

I would if I could

I did try, to look her in the eye

But then why, all I saw echoing back at me were my own flaws

all the falls that I was, all the highs that I could never reach

I used to be so afraid what the world would think of me

that I hid, and thought more about me than they ever did,

About what I should and shouldn’t be

I sat for so long and reflected, at the edge of that pond

I thought I learned slowly to love myself, enough to try to be better

And that’s precisely who I saw in the reflection of that water

Not me as I was, but the me I could be

And thats who I loved, and thats who I chased

It was not my reflection, even if it was my face

And after what felt like passing of an age,

I grew tired and weary of that chase

And I realized, maybe everyone else might be just like me

They may not have a pond, but maybe

They too pondered more than I could ever see

Still I sat, at the edge of the pond, the same one that, for so long I had looked at

And I took a deep breath and for the first time I really saw,

The clear water, its gentle flow

the tiny fishes in the water, the round stones below

some big rocks covered in moss, a couple dry leaves floating across,

And I thought maybe again I’d give it a try, to look her straight in the eye

Though she may very well see me flawed and broken,

and I’ll never really know what she thinks,

But this time, I’ll see the color of her eyes

And for now that should suffice,

That should suffice

-KS

17.04

[foxchasesneither]

In that reflection, Maybe narcissus wasn’t looking at his own face

Maybe he just faced, the world through a watery image

because he was afraid of facing it head on

Maybe he wasn’t vain and proud,

maybe his ears just preferred echoes over sound

Maybe he tried to look up, to get up from where he sat

But maybe it was just too vibrant and blinding to look at

the blue of the sky, the yellow of the flowers

Or maybe he just liked the way they moved in the water, the stars

And while all the heroes went about seeking glory,

maybe Narcissus alone was content with his story

And maybe he’s just a bit misunderstood,

Maybe he’d get up from the edge of the pond, if he could

Maybe he’d get strong, and not be so subdued

And he’d stare at all things the red, green and blue

But could he ever look a person in the eye, and not look for his own reflection?

I wouldn’t know, only he would

-KS

01.02

[foxchasesneither]

I’m smart enough to know what the blank canvas in front of me signifies

But still I’m too afraid to pick up the brush, too afraid to decide

What painting would look the best, what colours should I use?

Will I dislike it so much that I throw it out myself or will it hang in the louvre?

I’m smart enough to realise that if I don’t

move, as a blank canvas I’ll die

But still I’m too afraid to try, and slowly but surely time is passing me by

Blank Canvas

-KS

06.07

[foxchasesneither]

Drapes and shades separate my brain

Not letting pass, even a single beam

For the idealist in me is afraid to dream

In front of the the cynic, with his words unkind

Who resides, in the back of my mind

Even though, scoffs and snickers

that’s all the cynic has to offer

A sour milkshake, a relentless tease

Afraid of truly living, a distasteful brain-freeze

-KS

31.07

[foxchasesneither]

Dark, my room

Rusty, my pen

Dry, the ink in it

Stormy, the weather outside

And so, a deep sigh,

and the thunder outside

Clear away the dust

on the shelves of my mind

A deep sigh,

and the thunder outside

wakes me up

from this slumber of mine

I look down at my desk

As my joints crack

I take a look, at the book

in my lap

The title reads

‘It’s good to have you back’

-KS

25.05