Michael Afton fictive

he/it follows from @jargonfile

[foxrottn]

If there was a better way to go, then it would find me

Michael • he/it • agender

Michael Afton fictive • otherkin +more

I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

stamps by zresp

[phantomrose96]

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

[phantomrose96]

people killed: 0

direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1

ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2

[phantomrose96]

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

[aka-blaa]

You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.

[phantomrose96]

Official addition to this post.

[orchardsys]

I know this might feel unnecessarily emotional to people but it means a lot to me/us. I miss being able to do things without worrying if I’m going to be in pain the rest of the day or the next day. It’s hard to not miss those ugly years where things were nightmarish yet easier

[the-lunacy-system]

Hm that's probably not good

[the-lunacy-system]

Oh shit I moved my mouse and that thing is my fucking cursor wtf

[the-lunacy-system]

Oh thank the gods it fixed itself

[molluscappreciator-deactivated2]

[vexx-the-egg]

[dirtbrunch]

[aromanticx2]

am i crazy for thinking thjs

[robotblues]

the brothers Area

[friend-crow]

[birds-in-posts]

Kelp gull (Larus dominicanus)

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[nibeul]

if u think poc talking about fandom racism is ruining ur fun and putting a strain on the community, I wish u a very shut the fuck up

[anteaten-deactivated20220228]

[bobacupcake]

video game rocks

[orcboxer]

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

[mmoonju]

HOA is probably the most bullshitty bullshit i've ever heard in my life what do you mean there's the house police that can tell you how tall your grass is allowed to be before you get kicked out of YOUR HOUSE

[stars-and-scribbles]

yk cis heterosexual sex GENUINELY confuses me. like. why? specifically how it's represented in media. everything is so damn cock-centric. like, tv shows and movies genuinely depict it as if women enjoy just getting used like a human fleshlight and that's all sex is? the clit is joked about as smth men can't find and yet the Media's act as if it Doens't Matter????? Why do the women in my shows have sex with men, genuinely. Having his thingy inside you cannot feel that good, I KNOW you have a better time by Yourself than with the Male, cuz you actually Care about What You Like, which he doesn't.

[goofballproximitysurveyor-deact]

[a-maiz-ing]

The voice acting didn’t have to hit like that

[macademmia-deactivated20260103]

you have to unmute the voice acting is Oscar worthy

[slashercatz]

he sounds like an anime villain

[ralzei1997]

this is just the guy from that game slave 2 episode of invader zim

[do-not-u-dare]

oh my god

[xmajordumps]

guys,

[checkyourasianbias]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[renthony]

It's wild to watch the phrase "tumblr sexyman" morph into "man that tumblr thinks is sexy," because when I first saw the phrase come into use, I always saw it used in reference to the phenomenon of "when presented with a wide array of fictional characters, tumblr will always pick the skinny white man to obsess over, and if the fan-favorite character has no canonical human appearance, the fandom will inevitably create a popular fanon of the character as as a skinny white man."

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

"Tumblr sexyman" is, like. An insult. I DON'T want any of my blorbos to win a "tumblr sexyman" poll. "Tumblr sexyman" is the exact opposite of what I want my own OCs to be. If any of my characters ever get called "tumblr sexyman," I will have to immediately re-evaluate myself and the art I'm making.

[renthony]

Things I think of when I hear "tumblr sexyman":

Cecil Night Vale, as previously mentioned.

Oncelercest, because if there aren't two skinny white men to ship, tumblr fandom will start shipping the skinny white man with himself.

Bill Cipher inexplicably being fanon'd as a white twink despite being a fucking triangle.

Everyone fawning over Marvel Loki while shoving every woman and Black person in the MCU aside.

The way nearly every single character in Hazbin Hotel has the same "tall and skinny" body type, along with all the criticisms Black audience members have made about the issues with Alastor's design.

The way tumblr got obsessed with the white man villain in Sinners.

[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications