Plus ultra that fucking dick - BlankW0lf

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ He/him 20 Gay  Call me Zare. I swear I don't bite. Just a shy and socially awkward nerd.

[fuks]

[toastbutteregg]

if I can’t unsee this, so cant you

[shimanosimp]

Miles running from the Prowler while that dope theme music is playing:

[complacentmoon-deactivated20180]

“Is there friendly fire?” I ask to my teammate who is about to get very mad

[valtsv]

i wish sleep worked like it does in minecraft

[valtsv]

*slaps my bed and blacks out for 12 hours*

[sangodono]

ah yes, the furi bosses. with their vague names and moral righteousness. or as i like to call them; that fucker, traffic light, grandpa, sewer guy, my dad, mercy, sniper bitch, parry central, waifu, and i robot.

[americanfrontier]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[littletetra]

When you’re stuck in a point and click adventure game:

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lowbutt]

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

[chaosquotient]

I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS

[flailmorpho-deactivated20171007]

I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?

[lyssalovescookies]

#my environmental science teacher was demonstrating how pumice can float#so she just went around the room dropping them into people’s water bottles#but one of them didn’t float#so then she lit a match and dropped it into the bottle#and it blew up#that’s how we found out that the kid was drinking alcohol at school x

[quinn-silversmith-deactivated20]

Teacher: … “So to demonstrate how pumice floats, I’m gonna drop it into some of your bottles - don’t worry, it’s non toxic.” 

Goes around, dropping pumice into bottles: Splish, Splish, Splish, clink.

Teacher:….

[algrolo]

Scars are really cool and sexy but in this day and age how do you even get one without it being an accident

[algrolo]

Looking for a sparring partner for various sword/knife/blade fights. Must be okay to injure each other, but not maim or kill. Looking to acquire some cool scars. Professionals or unskilled are both fine. Bonus if you too are looking for cool, new scars. Bring your own blades.

Contact me with solicitous offers

[duckbats]

You, broke: straight up shipping spider ham and spider noir

Me, woke: in spider noir’s universe he falls in love with a radio host he saved who looks suspiciously like John Mulaney

[dollygale]

JM:

spider noir, tearing up, already thinking about the reception venue for their wedding: i

[dilfgmancoolatta]

JM upon meeting a talking pig who sounds suspiciously like him:

[king]

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

[sjw-bot]

right: bring back the racism

left: can sonic be trans?

centrist: sit on me

[soloontherocks]

the tumblr bots are passing the turing test now

[dsm-wannabe-linguist]

[trashwizard]

[sethalapod]

[canadiangold]

best thing i learned today: “The Loud American” role in Japanese businesses

[canadiangold]

nobody asked but imma explain anyway

no idea how it came up, but my programming prof was talking about his friend who works for Nintendo Japan who’s secondary role is The Loud American, and my prof explained what that was and how it came about

see, in Japan you do not talk back to your boss. you just don’t, even if they have stupid ideas and want the company to act on them. Like Nissan did sometime back. But since the other employees couldn’t do anything about this terrible idea that would ruin the company, they called in an American who had no reservations about telling the boss that their stupid idea was a stupid idea

and that’s just become a role in Japanese businesses, where they keep an American on staff who plays up the American stereotype and tells the boss what the Japanese employees can’t or won’t out of societal norms

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

dream job.

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

How much do they pay per hour for me to sit around and every so often storm into the bosses office and call his ideas stupid as fuck?

[roonilwazlip-deactivated2022021]

how to get the d

[bloodmagehwk]

i think i don’t want it anymore