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@fraagmented
as usual, i’m back here when i’m feeling down
i’m just so confused. and I hope that things work themselves out because that’s what I’ve always believed and if they don’t then i feel like i’ll be completely stuck and that might be too much for me to handle
i don’t know that anybody cares about this blog, but in case someone does
thank you for still watching out for posts here. i barely ever post but i love this blog and it’s still a huge part of who i am. i love the feeling writing brings and i consider it a success if even one person feels something from what i put out into the universe. and if they don’t, that’s okay too. i am proud of what i have done, where i’m going, and most importantly, who i am. the good and the bad. if anybody needs advice, i’ll try to be more active on here.
Are you a relationship advice blog? I'm curious.
nope! i’m not even really an advice blog (unfortunately i don’t use this as much as i used to or as much as i want to) but i always try to answer what i can :-)
depression sucks
just in case you guys didnt know
seriously, it’s like i can see all this ridiculous stuff happening. i can see myself chasing people away and telling them to leave me alone even though that’s the exact opposite of what i want. and i’m so used to people getting tired of me and my disease that i just kind of expect people to drift away from me eventually. i just feel so far away from everyone and i can’t wait to get back to college and see people and go outside again. even my boyfriend, who is perfect and is telling me all the right things, i still can’t manage to convince myself that things won’t end eventually. i’m so scared he will realize one day that i’m not this bubbly person, even though he knows i’m not and he doesn’t care. i hope i don’t chase him away; i don’t think i will ever recover if i did that. anyways, the point is that some days i am just really fucking sick of this disease. i wish i could feel normal for once in my life. but i wonder, even then, if i would feel normal. if i weren’t depressed, i’m afraid i still wouldn’t be happy with my life. i don’t really even know what i’m saying. i just hope someone out there understands they aren’t alone in this, me included
How do I deal with people wanting me to be something that I’m not? It feels like they want me at a 10 when I’m at a 6 (which I’m okay with because it took so much effort just to get there). Like they want me to do backflips when I just learned to sommersault. I’m really trying to work on myself and I’m making an effort I swear, but they don’t see that even to the point of making sly comments. Its like my achievements aren’t enough and its tearing me apart cos I want to be good for them and me
Okay, I know from experience that this is easier said than done but you shouldn’t surround with people who want you to be any more than you are. Who you are is who you are, and you should never have to feel like you have to change for someone. You are trying and that is the most important thing. If they aren’t happy with that, then screw them. If they keep demanding more and more from you, just tell them to leave it alone because you’re trying your damndest and if that’s not enough for them, they’re incredibly selfish. I’m sure you’re a great person and you don’t deserve to be around this at all. I’m sorry :-(
Hi there :) I'm in a situation where my friend and I both kinda have feelings for one another. Things are pretty vague at the moment but it could be something. Maybe even something great. The thing is that we're roommates, and we'll be living together for at least another year and a half. I don't know if I should go for it. I could just let it go and we could keep what we already have going without making our living situation complicated. Thanks xo
I’m honestly a little biased because I just started a relationship where we had something and it took a while for either of us to confess, so obviously I think you should do it. Honestly you’ll never know until you ask and I don’t know if it’s the BEST time to since you live together and will live together for a while, but someone told me that if it’s the right person, then anytime is the right time. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but good luck in whatever you decide to do!! Let me know how it goes 💖
I met this boy. We went on a few dates he even slept at my place once. 2months later he messaged to meet up again, so we met. We both knew we lived far from each other so we stopped seeing eachother. 1year later he contacts me. He wanted to see me again. We started seeing each other. We were really close now, until he started ignoring me and saying he was confused. A half year later i get a really long message saying he’s sorry and that he was stupid for letting me go. Should i forgive him?
That’s up to you; personally, I wouldn’t, but don’t let this sway your opinion. There’s a lot of things that go into making a relationship work, and if this is something that you and he both really want, then you will find a way to work through it. Just make sure you’re comfortable with whatever you guys are doing. Best of luck :-)
I was talking to a boy and we went on a few dates (like 4 or 5) and even slept at my place once! We didn’t do anything cause i was too scared to make a move and waited for hil to do so. It was like this for 3 or 4 months. A while ago i sent him something again but he never opened it and idk why??? He never sent anything again & we don’t have contact anymore wich makes me sad :-( what would u do and do u know why he ghosted me like that? It makes me sad
I really don’t know, I wish I could give more than the “people are weird” answer, but that’s what it is. Maybe something happened in his life; there could be thousands of different reasons. Maybe try to reach out again and see if he’d be willing to meet up and talk. I know it sucks not knowing, but there’s always a lesson to be learned, and if he doesn’t respond, he’s not worth it. One day someone will come along. Just make sure you are always comfortable with whatever you do, and let me know how things go!
This girl and I have been talking a lot lately. I have a crush on her and I feel like she might like me back. But all of a sudden she won’t respond to me anymore and idk if I did something wrong or what to do. She’s all I can think about. I rly liked what we had going on. What do I do
Sometimes people really just get busy, and it’s soooo nervewracking wondering what they could be doing but truthfully, the only way to know how she feels is to tell her how you feel. Maybe try to reach out again and see if you guys can hang out face to face and just ask her if everything’s okay. Good luck!
Myself (m) and a friend (f) were romantically involved for a few months, with her not wanting to enter another relationship just yet, so we went back to being friends even, is there any chance in the future we could be romantic again?
i think there could be! There’s a lot of factors that go into someone’s decision to want and then pursue a relationship. I wish I could say more but it’s really just a game of chance. Best of luck and let me know how it goes!
how do i approach a shy person after an argument? i’ve always been somewhat attracted to quiet people. this person and i have confessed but aren’t dating. we both wanted to talk more often, but i made a mistake while trying to. i often get flustered when i am the only one speaking. i didn’t realize it would be hard to get a closed off person to start conversing. we ended up not talking after a fight. things are awkward but i don’t want things to end like this. pls send help
honestly, if you’re both shy it’s going to be tough (but not impossible by any means). Personally speaking, I would honestly wait for the other person to reach out to me, so you might just have to reach out to them and ask if they’re okay and apologize for whatever you did that you think is wrong. Arguments happen in any kind of relationship and what’s important is how you handle things after it happens. Best of luck, and let me know how it goes!!
how far into my (f) relationship w my gf should we hold hands and / or kiss
that’s really up to you!! personally i don’t think it’s a big deal to wait to kiss or anything but other people put a lot of importance on it, so if you do as well then take things slow until you both feel comfortable!
So i just got a new therapist, and unfortunately I’ve developed a huge crush on him. I’m 19, male, and I’m not quite sure how old he is - my guess is mid 20’s or early 30’s. Either way, it’s clearly inappropriate. I can’t switch therapists for some external reasons, and I have no idea how to focus on the therapy itself when I’m constantly checking him out and getting super flustered. What should I do?
There’s a thing called transference which is actually a manifestation of your feelings for someone (from childhood or otherwise) onto your therapist. Since you are already talking about pretty personal stuff, that also seems to form a connection between the two of you. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what to do but i think just focus on getting through your problems first and foremost, and if you’re really brace tell him about it. It’s an awkward position to be in but I’m sure that he’ll know how to tackle it if the situation ever arises. I’m sorry i couldn’t be of more help :-( but please update me and tell me how things go!
Hey! First of all, I hope you're doing well. So, about your best friend..I was in quite a similar situation. I had a huge crush on my best friend but he liked someone else. A couple of months back we had a fight so we weren't speaking to each other. During this time, he told my other friend he had feelings for me. Now we've sorted stuff out but we're still just friends. So what I'm trying to say is that if he really is a true friend he'll understand. Tell him how you feel. Hope this helps.
thank you so much, i’m hoping all goes well :-) if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me!
january second
last year was one of the most transformative of my life. i hope that in 2019, i will continue to grow and learn from my mistakes. i want to be happy, and stay happy, and surround myself more with the people that i love and that love me in return. i want to take more walks and learn to accept people as they are, even if i may not agree with everything they do. i want to become a manifestation about what i’ve learned. i want to capture the beauty that i see in life and i want to hold on to what makes me hold onto life. when i was fourteen, i cut myself for the first time. when i was fourteen, i thought i wouldn’t live to turn twenty - i didn’t want to live. but here i am, a little less than six years later, excited for what the future brings, excited to turn twenty, and the happiest i’ve ever been. last year taught me not just to act strong, but to be strong. i learned to love completely and to trust. I’m going into this new year happy, for the first time in so many years. i will continue to work every day to stay happy, but i will not deny the days that i am unable to be happy. everything we do is a choice, and i choose to work harder in academics, in friendships, in romances. i know it will not be easy, but for the first time in my life, i am excited for what the future holds and excited to tackle the obstacles that i will face this year.
Take some time every week to look back at yourself. Make sure you're still okay with what you're doing and be proud of who you are. If something in the back of your head is questioning your actions, don't ignore it. Don't wait until it's too late to realize you made a mistake.
(via fraagmented)
I miss you so much. I wish I could work up the nerve to talk to you again but every time I see you my heart rushes and I'm afraid none of the right words will come out. I wish I could be in your arms again; I wish things were as simple as they were last year - taking walks, eating blackberries, laying next to you with your arms around me. I think this whole time, I've been afraid to admit it to myself, but I miss you. I really, really miss you. But things can never go back to the way they were. You can never be what you were, and I can never be what I was to you. We've both grown far too much.
toast can never be bread again (via fraagmented)