Free Roaming Blog

Ive been barely functioning since 1997 and now I have the nickname Saburrito for blanket thievery so now there’s a blog about my okest life experiences.

[free-rolling-burrito]

So my parents and I watched the movie My Fair Lady..

Some key points:

My parents and I are VERY different generations. I’m a millennial-ish(1997) and my parents are boomers.(1954 and 1959) My mom had me super late.

I’m 22,a fully functioning adult paying her own bills

And I watched this movie before,when I was about 8 or so. So this isnt my first time seeing the movie,but it’s the first time I’ve seen it since then.

So anyway.. this might be an unpopular opinion but.. am I the only one who noticed that Henry Higgins not only went as far as to bash Eliza Doolittle the entire movie,but really mentally,verbally,and emotionally abused her? Let me give some examples:

From the moment they met,he degraded her. Sure she wasn’t prim and proper,but he thought of her as dirt underneath his feet;less than human.

Even when he did agree to help,he planned on using her for his ego. When she insisted she helped him win the bet,he shot her down and said it was his victory and his alone.

He straight up didn’t care what would happen to her after the bet was over??? (I mean he did later but only after he found her useful to have around tbh,regardless of his “love” for her?)

After the ball was over- that same night- he totally ignored her?? And when he found her crying he encouraged her to marry or “find something” so that she could keep the semblance of wealth she had? Or better yet she could crawl back to her father?

When Eliza left and met up with Henry’s mother,who was told Eliza’s POV,she sympathized with Eliza. Someone who in my eyes..didn’t care either way for the girl and had nothing to gain. So I see her as a less biased character,and she even told Eliza what happened was horrible.

When Eliza wanted to be independent and argued she’d become a teacher or an assistant for another man(granted his rival I believe?) Henry literally WENT TO CHOKE HER. he stopped when she called him out on it.

How many times did he turn things around on her? How many times was it her fault?

Basically these are a lot of red flags that personally happened in my relationships. I thought I was at fault for being abused. I had done something wrong. It was perfectly normal for a man who told me he loved to call me names or degrade me because he loved me,right?

With all that in mind,the convo between my mom and I went like this:

Me: So.. after all that bs fighting.. she still went back..?

My mom: Of course! This movie is a classic. True love..

Me: but he was abusive?

My mom: that doesn’t matter as long as he loves her. She was ungrateful and did things to make him mad and worried on purpose.

Me: so if dad says he loves you but he calls you a bitch,it’s okay because he loves you?

My mom: that’s not the same thing. He truly loves Eliza. You millennials are all like that. Abuse this abuse that. You’re such snowflakes. You gotta judge everything and ruin a classic,don’t you?

Me: ok boomer

My mom: *absolutely triggered* go to your room how dare you call me names I’m your mother you need to respect me

[free-rolling-burrito]

Look at my cheese noodle!!! He’s gotten so big!!! Ahhh 😍 P.S his name is Chairman Meow.

[free-rolling-burrito]

Story Time: Racist Client

Okay I know that if this gets ANY attention it’ll probably be negative because Racism is taboo but HEAR ME OUT,OKAY?

So my family,by heritage- is Hebrew/Jewish. Which means for me and my family history; that when my family came to America,it was to flee the holocaust. My mom is American born,and so am I. But we also look pretty white. So unless I tell people “hello my family fled the holocaust for being Jewish” or “my family is jewish” most people assume I’m English or something. (Don’t get me wrong,complaining about being white isn’t the point of this story,but this info is important to my story)

So one day,a few years ago now, I was working a quick Thanksgiving shift(I work as a caregiver). So my work had called me on the day I requested off and asked me to pull a quick two hours to help this lady (who we will refer to as Miss T from now on) get ready for thanksgiving with her family.

So I get there and clock in. I had been there before and she was known for being mean. Like,really mean. Making her caregivers stand there with their hands behind their back waiting on her in one spot during the whole 6 hour shift kinda mean.

Ms.T: I hope you can work quickly. I need my hair and makeup done in the next six hours you’re here. And a bed bath. Don’t forget to transfer me either,girl.

Me: Actually my name is *name* and the office sent me out here for 2 hours to help you get changed and transfer you.

Ms.T: I don’t understand why you can’t just stay over to help me.

Me: Because not only is it against company policy,but I have plans with my own family today.

Ms.T: Who cares about you? Ugh you millennials are all so selfish and lazy. Just hurry up and give me a bed bath.

Me: yes ma’am. *Gets supplies and starts giving her the bed bath she requested*

Me.T: NO NO NO YOURE DOING IT WRONG! You have to start with the left arm first then the right arm,then do the legs. I don’t want my legs washed first! Also you grabbed two wash cloths and I specifically always ask for 4 green ones. Those aren’t even green. And where are my wipes at? You need to wipe me down with exactly 8 wipes-

Me: *exasperated and not being paid enough to be yelled at for not caring about wash cloth colors* Look,Ms.T. I’m here for two hours- *looks at clock* now an hour and 20 minutes. If you want to be bathed,clothed,and transferred by then,I won’t have time to do this your way. Either let me do my job,or you can find someone else,with all due respect.

Ms.T: HOW DARE YOU. You know what? I don’t care. I’m calling your manager! And you’re staying those extra hours,whether you like it or not!

Me: like I told you,it’s against company policy,and I’d go without pay for it.

Ms.T: why should you get paid for this? *on phone,dialing my manager*

Me: because I could be at home with my family on my day off. But I came in today to help you. And since you insist on calling my manager and will be busy for the next few minutes,I’m going outside to grab my water bottle I left in there.

Ms.T: *my manager has picked up,and is listening from the point I said I was stepping outside for water* HOW DARE YOU? You don’t deserve water!

Me: pardon?

Me.T: You heard me!

Me: water is a human right. You can’t keep me from getting a drink out of my own water bottle.

Ms.T: YOURE NOT A HUMAN!!!

Me: excuse me??

Me.T: You’re white! And you use all your white privilege! You don’t deserve water you didn’t even work hard for it!! You don’t know what it means to have hardship! To be discriminated against!

Me: *quietly* actually I’m Jewish.. and I got made fun of a lot because of it •_•

My manager: ExCuSe Me you can’t talk to her like that!

Ms.T: this white little whore won’t stay over!! And she won’t follow my rules or instructions!

My manager: *meanwhile I have left and came back inside,listening to the conversation which is on speaker as I look Ms.T dead in the eyes and drink my water.* You can’t talk to our employees that way,especially as she is there doing a favor to you,and isn’t obligated to be there today.

Ms.T: *continues to be racist to me,then cries that my manager and I are racist for making an older black woman cry,as she starts fake crying over the phone*

So I basically ended up walking out to my car because I was boiling and didn’t want to lose my job. So my manager rings my phone and tells me to just leave because she’s being racist and won’t calm down. So I do. I get in my car,pull out of her driveway and park across the street,putting my directions home in my gps. Oh but it gets better.

Not 30 seconds later, Ms.T’s sister who also lives there storms up to my car and rapidly knocks on my car window. I crack the window a tiny bit.

Me: yes? What can I do for you?

Ms.T’s sister: GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THAT HOUSE NOW AND FINISH HELPING HER. SHES CRYING AND UPSET BECAUSE YOU JUST UP AND LEFT HER FOR NO REASON.

Me: no.

Ms.T’s sister: I WILL DRAG YOU BY YOUR HAIR BACK IN THERE.

Me: *rolls window back up*

Ms.T’s sister: IM CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU FOR HARRASSMENT

Me: *Drives away*

So yeah. Needless to say I wasn’t allowed back there ever again. Not that I’m complaining. Fucking crazies.

[free-rolling-burrito]

10 reasons why my mother can’t cook and why I won’t eat her cooking:

1. What do you mean you made white cheddar shells and cheese but WITHHELD THE CHEESE.

2. So what is the sauce you ask? Why it’s(I can’t believe it’s not butter: which is basically whipped heavy cream and hydrogened oils),and milk.

3. She says: why not just add some Ragu jar Alfredo sauce to it to fix the no cheese problem

4. My mother HATES salt. She won’t add it to anything she cooks,and won’t cook with anything “containing” salt.

5. My mom refuses to use any other seasonings other than garlic or onion powder. Why the powder? Because my mom says there’s no need to spend the money on the actual stuff,because the powders work for everything just fine.

6. Don’t forget she hates pepper and sugar too. No pepper and will only use Splenda.

7. Did I mention she cooks burgers without seasoning and simply grabs it from the package,makes a ball with it,and put it on a George form and then proceeds to SMAASH all the liquid out of it. She then sprinkles those powders on it after it’s cooked 😩🙏

8. Her favorite way to cook kraft Mac and cheese is to wait for the pasta to turn to mush and serve it all goopy together with the mixed powder + skim milk + water.

9. My mom actually doesn’t know how to cook,not that she doesn’t put effort in it. She once spent 3 hours making donuts for my boyfriend and I. She took raw flour and mixed it with water and fried it. Needless to say,there were inedible and I couldn’t look her in the eyes and tell her how they were.

10. My mom will absolutely NOT listen to,research,taste,or read about how to cook or how food is actually made.