MY NAME IS BILL @freedomangle-blog - Tumblr Blog

TA-DA!

“THIS IS WHAT PUPPET BOY HERE IS DOING. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT’S TOTALLY WRONG. LOOK AT THAT. THE BROWN BULLSHIT PART ISN’T EVEN A TRIANGLE. HOW MUCH MORE WRONG CAN YOU GET? BUT YOU KNOW, OF COURSE, HE THINKS HE’S DOING THIS-”

“I THINK WE CAN ALL SEE WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS, RIGHT? I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE. I MEAN, LET’S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE “CROSSING THE FANDOMS” THING. ANYWAY, HERE’S A MORE CORRECT PICTURE - OBVIOUSLY DUMBED DOWN TO SUIT MORTAL UNDERSTANDING.”

“YOU SEE? MUCH BETTER. OF COURSE, THAT'S NOT INCLUDING MY HAT, MY ARMS, MY LEGS, MY INDIVIDUAL BRICKS, MY EYE-MOUTH SEPARATE FROM MY EYE, MY ASTROPHYSICAL FORM, EVERYTHING INSIDE ME- MAN, THIS COULD REALLY TAKE FOREVER. POINT IS I’VE MADE MY POINT.”

#bill cipher #anatomy of bill #why dale is wrong #who does he think he is #the hero of time #dale you're no link buddy

WHAT WENT DOWN TODAY

“SO, TODAY, I HAD TO DEAL WITH ONE OF MY PUPPETS SASSING ME ABOUT THINGS HE DOESN’T REALLY KNOW ABOUT. FOR INSTANCE-” Bill transforms into Dale ( @dalearmitage ).

"I know that HALF the time you're bullshitting, a fourth of the time you're guessing based on the numbers, and the other fourth of the time you're trolling deliberately to manipulate the outcome to change it to a more statistically favorable path for YOUR desired outcome." Bill transformed back into himself. “SO I SAID, YOU’RE REALLY BAD AT MATH.” Bill transformed back into Dale. “So, he said, also no, a fourth and a fourth is a half and a half and a half is a whole so. Yeah. Not bad at math. Maybe bad at mixing metaphors." Bill transformed back into himself. “SIGH. PUPPETS TODAY, AM I RIGHT? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED IN THESE SITUATIONS? HELPFUL PICTURES LIKE THE KIND YOU SHOW TO BABIES TO TEACH THEM WORDS.”

#dalearmitage #the beginning #helpful pictures incoming

pine-dexter:

freedomangle replied to your post: “I got you a present.”

“BUT I PUT IT IN A BOX. IT HAS A BOW ON IT. THERE COULD BE ANYTHING IN THIS BOX.”

“That is not, by any means, reassuring.”

“WHO KNOWS WHAT UNTOLD SECRETS ARE IN THIS BOX WRAPPED UP IN PRETTY RIBBON? IT COULD BE AN ANSWER YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SEEKING. IT COULD BE SOMETHING HEART-WRENCHINGLY TERRIFYING. IT COULD BE BEAUTIFUL. IT COULD BE STRANGE... WHO KNOWS? WHAT’S THE HARM IN A LITTLE PEEK?”

#pine-dexter

@goldendorito

#goldendorito

sixfingersixtails:

@freedomangle

“At least I don’t take it and seek you out looking for more.”

“YOU’RE DEFINITELY TAKING IT. YOU’RE TAKING IT RIGHT NOW. YOU’LL PROBABLY BE TAKING IT LONG AND HARD FROM ME AND OTHERS LIKE ME FOR YEARS TO COME. IT’S IN YOUR NATURE, SIXER.”

“I AM KIND OF WONDERING HOW LONG YOU CAN GO BEFORE YOU DO START WONDERING ABOUT ME.”

#sixfingersixtails

dalearmitage:

BullSHIT you haven’t done anything to me personally. I’d call sniping at my mind from across the astral plane pretty damn well doing something to me personally. Face it, I’m JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, Bill. I know it’s HARD TO IMAGINE for someone with a supposedly LIMITLESS IMAGINATION, but I’m ALREADY ON ANOTHER LEASH, and I actually do stay loyal to MY boss, so go play with whichever me you pulled out of whatever craphole you found him in and stop coming after ME for your daily snort of schadenfreude.

Geez now I know why Ford’s such a drama queen about this you’re so fucking IRRITATING

“WHAT’S A LITTLE SNIPING BETWEEN FRIENDS? IT’S NOT LIKE I KILLED YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THEN AGAIN, I GUESS IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANY FOR ME TO KILL, ANYWAY. MAYBE THAT’S A BAD EXAMPLE. LET ME START OVER. IT’S NOT LIKE I FORCED YOU INTO A SITUATION WHERE YOU HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE AND BOTH CHOICES RESULT IN EQUALLY DREADFUL OUTCOMES FOR YOU. YEAH, THAT’S BETTER.”

“IF YOU’RE NOT THAT INTO ME, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STOP MAKING THE COMPARISONS TO OLE FORDSY. I’M SURE YOU’RE WELL-AWARE THAT ONE OF THE REASONS ME AND OTHERS LIKE ME ARE DRAWN TO HIM IS BECAUSE HE IS SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.”

#dalearmitage

dalearmitage replied to your post: SHE THINKS SHE CAN UNFRIEND ME AND EXPECT THERE...

SULKangle

“ACTUALLY, IT’S MORE LIKE STALKANGLE. I’M GOING TO PUT HER THROUGH HELL AND SIP ON THE AGONIZING PAIN OF HER SPECTRAL REMAINS LIKE IT’S A TINY FRUITY DRINK WITH AN UMBRELLA IN IT.”

#dalearmitage #yikes

SHE THINKS SHE CAN UNFRIEND ME AND EXPECT THERE NOT TO BE CONSEQUENCES.

#ic #petty feud with a random spectre named felicia #seems legit

dalearmitage:

freedomangle replied to your post “(Blindfold) HEY, PUPPET PAL DALE. MISS ME? I’D MAKE WITH THE OMINOUS…”

FUN FACT: NOBODY FUCKS ME OVER LIKE I DO. AHAHAHA. BUT YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME. YOU KNOW YOU DO.

I really, really don’t, Bill. Some of you are okay, but you specifically? YOU you? You can go jump off into the Bottomless Pit.

“I HAVEN’T EVEN DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PERSONALLY YET. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? DID I MAKE YOU JEALOUS WHEN I BEGAN MEDDLING IN THE AFFAIRS OF ANOTHER DALE? THOSE ABANDONMENT ISSUES MUST REALLY BE GETTING TO YOU IF YOU’RE ALREADY THIS ATTACHED TO ME THIS QUICKLY.”

“BY THE WAY, FELICIA WANTS YOU ALL TO STOP CALLING HER JUST TO SAY GOODBYE. SHE DIDN’T ASCEND FROM THE REALM OF THE LIVING AND INTO THE ASTRAL PLANE FOR THE EQUIVALENT OF JUNK VOICEMAIL.”

“YOU SHOULD TOTALLY SEND HER ONE OF THOSE SCAM EMAILS, THOUGH. SHE’S GULLIBLE, AND IT’LL BE HILARIOUS.”

#dalearmitage

pinecalties:

“So you never fought us in your world? Wow! So you didn’t get spraypaint in the eye! Or kittens on you, or music annoying you? Probably a good thing.” A really good thing, it means he has never experienced fighting the twins then. If push comes to shove, and if he became an enemy like the other/ Well they might get a better chance!

“Yea he would much rather shoot you again I think, Dipper said he had shot you. Missed, but he went for it. I guess he has a really bad past with you, er, the other you. It’s in his journals, all sorts of warnings about you.But back to the point!” She hops up and offers her hand to him, excited again. “I’ll help you make things better, we both can try! Oh, and if you want to warm him up, he loves sweaters. I made him one actually with his symbol thingy on it. Never seen him smile so much hahah.”

“IT’S LIKE THEY ALWAYS SAY THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME. EXCEPT WHEN THEY DON’T. I’M SURE ONCE YOUR GREAT UNCLE REALIZES I’M DIFFERENT, HE’LL COME AROUND. THEY ALWAYS DO. EVENTUALLY.”

Bill blinked, a slow, exaggerated gesture. He looked at her offered hand for all of two seconds before reaching out and grabbing it. His eye glowed an eerie, ethereal blue, and blue flames flickered out and enveloped both of their hands. The flames did not burn, and in fact, felt almost cold against the skin.

“IT’S A DEAL, THEN, SHOOTING STAR. YOU’LL HELP ME MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE! BOY, THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.”

#pinecalties #bill is reserving mabel for future use #LOL

nowitsdecaf:

“WELL, WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT! IT’S MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE: ME!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY! THE MORE, THE MERRIER, AND YOU CAN BET WE’RE GONNA MAKE MERRY!” The entirety of the human race probably wouldn’t appreciate the two of them ‘making merry’, but since when did humanity’s opinions ever matter on anything? Never. Humanity’s opinions have never mattered. Humanity doesn’t even know how to party!

“AW, SHUCKS. YOU’RE MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE ENTIRE MULTIVERSE, TOO, EXCEPT WHEN MY FAVORITE BEING IN THE MULTIVERSE IS A CAT FROM THE SPARKLER DIMENSION THAT BREATHES FIRE AND DEVOURS THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT. YOU KNOW, NORMAL CAT STUFF.”

“I’M KIDDING. PROBABLY! ANYWAY, YEAH, BILL PARTIES ARE THE BEST KIND OF PARTY. LET’S TURN IT UP IN HERE. I’LL BRING THE ALCOHOL IF YOU BRING THE SNACKS. SO, WHAT’S COOKING IN YOUR NECK OF THE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL WOODS?”

#nowitsdecaf

legalizingeverything-deactivate

@freedomangle liked for a short starter!

“BILL!? How are you– you’re DEAD! You’re supposed to be DEAD! Grunkle Stan punched you so hard your face exploded into eighty shmillion different pieces and then you died!”

freedomangle-blog

“WOW. MAKE SURE TO BREATHE THERE, SHOOTING STAR. I’M PRETTY SURE HUMANS NEED TO DO THAT.”

“ANYWAY, RELAX. YOU’RE LOOKING AT A DIFFERENT BILL. THERE’S A WHOLE MULTIVERSE OF POSSIBILITIES, KID. INFINITE YOUS, INFINITE MES, INFINITE STEVES THAT EVERYBODY HATES. THE BILL CIPHER YOU KNOW AND HATE PROBABLY IS SHATTERED INTO EIGHTY SCHMILLION DIFFERENT PIECES WHICH TOUGH BREAK FOR HIM, BUT HEY, THAT JUST MEANS I CAN MOSEY ON IN AND SETTLE DOWN FOR A SPELL.”

#legalizingeverything

Seduction style!

in honor of v-day! ( link. )

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people fall under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

tagged by: @goldendorito

tagging: anyone

#lol #this was fun

dalearmitage:

freedomangle:

“YOUR BODY WOULD BE A LOT LESS STUPID WITH ME IN IT. ALSO, WE COULD STILL GET DRINKS. I KNOW A LITTLE HOLE IN THE WALL OF A FAR-CORNER DIMENSION THAT HAS KALEIDOSCOPE RUM.”

My body is rated for single-occupancy only, sorry not sorry.

… Okay, now I’m listening again. What’s kaleidoscope rum? That sounds pretty appetizing.

“THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR ONE MORE.”

“BUT OKAY, MAYBE I’LL BE NICE TO YOU JUST THIS ONE TIME. HOW ABOUT YOU DO ME A SORT OF UNOFFICIAL FAVOR IN RETURN FOR INTRODUCING YOU TO THE MAGICAL DRUNKEN WONDER THAT IS KALEIDOSCOPE RUM? NO HANDSHAKE REQUIRED. I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO ASK THAT MUCH OF YOU. YOU MIGHT EVEN ENJOY IT.”

“HEAR ME OUT, STITCHES.”

#dalearmitage

dalearmitage:

(started to reach out but)

Heeey, wait a second. I just want to go get drinks, not hand over the deed to my stupid body!

“YOUR BODY WOULD BE A LOT LESS STUPID WITH ME IN IT. ALSO, WE COULD STILL GET DRINKS. I KNOW A LITTLE HOLE IN THE WALL OF A FAR-CORNER DIMENSION THAT HAS KALEIDOSCOPE RUM.”

#dalearmitage

weird-space-deactivated20181218

But where has the rum gone?!

Bill! I’m sober. SOMEONE drained my liquor cabinet. Help?

freedomangle-blog

“WELL, NOW, THAT IS AN EMERGENCY.”

“BUT DON’T WORRY, I HAVE AN IDEA. QUICK. TAKE MY HAND, AND I WILL GET YOU DRUNK, AND WE WILL GO ON DRUNKEN ADVENTURES.”

“YOU’LL NEVER BE IN YOUR RIGHT MIND AGAIN.”

@nowitsdecaf

“WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. IF IT ISN’T ANOTHER NEW BILL ON THE BLOCK. BOY, WE SURE ARE POPULAR, AREN’T WE? ONE TASTE OF OUR GREATNESS, AND THEY JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH.”

“AH, WHO AM I KIDDING? I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF ME, EITHER.”

#nowitsdecaf #hello bill #it's me bill

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MY NAME IS BILL