lorem Ipsum

it is scientific fact that pumpkins cannot feel remorse

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[parkchanwoohoo]

At a restaurant with my dad and grandma and people in the next table are talking about how the coach for the South Korean team should be deported and my dad leaned over and I was like oh god he's talking to strangers again th-- the way I do nm.

And he was like "Excuse me. I disagree completely. He should be shot to death in the airport" and they started laughing and agreeing

[parkchanwoohoo]

[parkchanwoohoo]

Oh my god the president commented on the loss lmfao

[parkchanwoohoo]

[parkchanwoohoo]

My god he actually did it. Unsurprising given that there are already people making plans to show up at the airport with eggs (here are some more shop signs banning him from entry)

[henstomper]

everywhere i go everyone compliments me on the particle cannons i attached to my body. they say things like "those look effective against armored targets, and also very precise" and then i blush cutely and obliterate a scrap car

[jp-nichts]

"thanks I installed them myself 😊💜"

[jp-nichts]

[theehorsepusssy]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[cognitohazardous]

fire was invented by the grain industry

[muzantropic]

Hippo, fart, milk battle, crème brûlée harvest capybara raccoon cows original after the battle they harvested the crème brûlée because nothing goes to waste in the jungle Travis Chapman

[croaksac]

the complete and total defeat in the prosecutor's voice at the very end..... im 💀💀💀

[bogleech]

Havent seen a lot about this on tumblr so maybe not a lot of people know:

He was wrongfully raided by police in 2022

He used footage and names of the specific cops in posts, videos and songs making fun of them

The cops sued for defamation and cried in court about the songs ruining their lives

He won anyway

[cerothenull]

the music video in question

[bogleech]

Thats the gentlest one. He made a whole parody song around the fact that one sheriff did a double take at a cake on his kitchen table:

And this is one of the ones that really hurt a grown man's feelings:

Court cases set precedents that similar cases may cite to basically win instantly, so let it be known the united states judicial system has concluded that if an officer of the law breaks into your house on false pretenses, you have a constitutional right to make youtube videos, using their personal photos, in which you claim to have cucked him 🫡🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

[parkchanwoohoo]

Nosferatu (2024) changed my life. I've nvmever been the same since. I wish I could tell you something about film and art and shit but really it is because to this day I still periodically go "[Nosferatu voice] BOUNCE ON IT..... CRRRRAZY STYLE...." and nobody thinks it's funny but at this point it's less a joke as it is a neurological event

[dippingbirdfursona]

The thing about dunk and egg is that it really is like that when you're mutuals with someone in their twenties

[monidoll]

combining light and dark soy sauce to make morally ambiguous and nuanced soy sauce

[innerchildabortionclinic]

SKEKSIS CALLOUT

• Corrupted the crystal that nourishes life on Thra

• Betrayed the trust of Aughra

• Illegally acquiring essence of life from civilians

• Lied to Gelflings about how Mira died

• Lied about class society on Thra

• Ugly

[fruitytrollroll]

whaaaaat? noooo, skeksis would NEVER do such awful things! skeksis are FRIEND to gelfling!! :) this must just be silly little misunderstanding, yes...? why don't you tell friend chamberlain where you heard such things, so he can go... correct this unfortunate misconception, hmmnnnnnnmmmm?

[freemasonic-yowl]

@dippingbirdfursona leave neelix alone he's just a lil guy he don't know what's going on

[dippingbirdfursona]

Bring back tuvix

"he stopped neelix existing"

[freemasonic-yowl]

what like it's hard? so could a gun

[freemasonic-yowl]

@dippingbirdfursona leave neelix alone he's just a lil guy he don't know what's going on

[ooccouchgags]

[bluestockingbaby]

(via @allieinarden )

[dippingbirdfursona]

I think in star trek world when you want to biphobically bully someone any time they express bisexual attraction you loudly suspect them of being replaced by their mirror universe double

[quasi-normalcy]

The last Calvin & Hobbes comic ran 30 years ago today.