freshman year wizard

@freshmanwizard

he/him // wizard in training if you don't tell the wizard i got a tumblr then i wont tell him you used river water instead of cave water on our freshwater potions project, bethany // ask me anything. i'll probably give you all the wrong answers but i have this sick ass crystal ball and a great desire to use it. support a failing wizard student won't you // don't tell the wizard

127 posts

it’s pride month, minions. you know what that means

galactic-mayhem

do you want us to, like, cast gay spells my leige?

<|:^)

all the spells i cast are gay

#to make up for the fact that i have no gaydar #GUYS DO YOU THINK WEST TOWER KNIGHT LIKES MEN #DO I HAVE A CHANCE #help

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

I mean I have a bucket of them right here do you know any precision disolution spells? Elsewise try and find a necromancer's shop, they often have things like that

im banned from going near necromancers since The Incident but thank you anyways

there was an incident involing necromancers and YOU got the restraining order? WHAT DID YOU DO

<[:)

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

I mean I have a bucket of them right here do you know any precision disolution spells? Elsewise try and find a necromancer's shop, they often have things like that

im banned from going near necromancers since The Incident but thank you anyways

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

so just bones? Herrings cant take that long to decompose, you could just go get some skeletons

i see. do you know where i can find fish skeletons readily available

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

age? I dono but theyre all still moving. Red? No but they can be dyed if needed

drats. still moving? holdon i’ll cast a withering curse- these bad boys need to be at least 8 years dead for my plan to work

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

Does it have to be anchovies in particular? I have some herrings if need be

how old are the herrings. are they perhaps red

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

finally someone said it

reporting for duty sir

#or ma’am #or Being

"do you prefer yaoi or yuri" well i like nothing. i like silence. just me. and the cold, empty cosm[Hears a twig crack] .

,Who gors there

me. do you have any anchovies my homunculus fucking ate them all

boogies down.

read this as boobies down

i cast illiteracy

Everything is haunted everybodys evil and their bugs inside the carpet do u think im frightening organ chords and lightning if I show my fangs will u tell me that theyre cool

panic-at-the-aromantic

haunted mention!

i mean i don’t think EVERYBODY’s evil but yeah i did accidentally unleash 3 cursed specters so it is VERY much haunted up in here

strike-another-match

great day for nosy bitch such as myself. all timer

*casts nose curse on you*

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

justlightmeonfire

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

whimsicalmayhem

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

CURRENTLY. so i have a chance

professionalchaoticdumbass

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

professionalchaoticdumbass

you come onto my post and be funnier than me

skillet issue

evil people interact

evil people. where are my people. I need my partner in crime with the weirdly homoerectic energy

i heard something about weirdly homoeretic energy?

#did we try to say homoerotic #and mess up?#or are we combining homosexual and heretic #because honestly i like that more #wizardposting

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

i can take the mayonnaise off your hands for totally nonsuspicious reasons. promise i will give the mayonnaise a good home and definitely not use it for harm in any way whatsoever

What fucking ritual are you planning with mayo

mud wasnt strong enough to sustain my homunculus so im trying again with mayonnaise. he needs to be better at premeditated murder

whytodaywasbeautiful-deactivate

Dog got him?

30-50 feral hogs actually

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

i can take the mayonnaise off your hands for totally nonsuspicious reasons. promise i will give the mayonnaise a good home and definitely not use it for harm in any way whatsoever

What fucking ritual are you planning with mayo

mud wasnt strong enough to sustain my homunculus so im trying again with mayonnaise. he needs to be better at premeditated murder

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

i can take the mayonnaise off your hands for totally nonsuspicious reasons. promise i will give the mayonnaise a good home and definitely not use it for harm in any way whatsoever

#wizardposting #student wizard #wizard in training

freshman year wizard @freshmanwizard - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag