i have decided to become a horse @freudiandip - Tumblr Blog

What I like about this comic is that it doesn’t “trivialize” mental health problems in and of themselves. It’s clear that the koala IS genuinely traumatized by what’s happened. But it does emphasize that the mental health problems are a symptom of some real tangible problem that needs to be dealt with immediately.

writing-prompt-s

You’re an ancient Greek man coming home from 4 months of war to find your wife 3 months pregnant. Now you’ve embarked on a solemn quest: to punch Zeus in the face.

hermdoggydog

Soon after you begin your quest, you encounter another man in a similar situation. You decide to join forces, as two mortal men stand a better chance at punching Zeus than one. Two villages over, you encounter a woman who had relations with Zeus and was left with a highly aggressive half-boar half-man offspring. She too feels your anger and offers to join your quest. By the time you reach Mount Olympus, you’ve amassed a large and formidable army of cuckolded/ravished mortals, demigods with daddy issues, mythical creatures with scores to settle, and a seamstress who you’re pretty sure is Hera in disguise. Zeus never stood a chance.

lizluvscupcakes

What I find best about this scenario is that the original wife probably expected to be murdered for her infidelity at worst or have her relationship with her husband ruined as he grew to resent her baby, at best.

Instead this man looked at his beloved and said, “who did it?”

And she replied “Zeus,” accepting he probably wouldn’t believe her.

And then he sighed, strapped his sandals back on and said, “I’ll be back before the baby is born.”

“Where are you-?”

“The lord of the sky came into my house, molested my wife in my bed and ate my food. I am going to settle the score.”

“Darling, he’ll kill you.”

“He may try, if he would like.”

theriu

You’re so right, that IS the best part.

therealbeachfox

I’m personally caught up on the seamstress.

“The pathway up Olympus is guarded by dozens of traps and perils strong enough to thwart even the Titans. How are we going to get past all of…” the shepherd boy with golden eagle feathers gestured uselessly at the slopes above them, particularly the herd of eight-legged goats snorting fire.

“There’s a way around,” Yiorgos said, though he was not specifically asked. But he had been the first to begin the march on Olympus, and so felt obligated to take the lead whenever possible, “In the stories there’‘s always a way around whatever obstacles the Gods place in our way.”

He hadn’t meant the words to come out as a question, but they had that lilt to them none-the-less. And even though he hadn’t meant it to be a question, much less a question directed at anyone specific, it was directed at one all the same. Just as the eagle-feathered shepherd boy’s had.

“Way I heard it,” a woman’s voice said. Rough with the Mycenaean Greek equivalent of a backwoods accent, and with the depth of a farmer’s wife who straps cattle to her back to carry to market, “there’s a back path. Hidden behind an invisible door that only one key in the world can open.” Everyone’s eyes had turned to the broad older woman in heavy shawl sitting amidst supplies in the foremost cart. “Least, that’s what my grand-mammy always told me.” she added after a moment of dozens of eyes on her.

“Oh, we were so foolish!” That was Lydia, a lithe waif of a woman, many months pregnant, sitting opposite the seamstress in the wagon. “Of course there’d be a.. a quest. They’d keep such a key in the depths of Tartarus or in the golden chariot of Apollo, or, or-”

“Or”, the older woman cut her off in a voice both firm, but much gentler than she used on anyone else, “he’s like all husbands and has been promising to move the key someplace better for the past three thousand years but hasn’t gotten around to it.” She gestured vaguely to the hillside, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was under, say, that bush right over there.”

It was. Of course. And everyone in the caravan agreed that it had been a very lucky and wise guess from the nameless woman and for the upteenth time since she first sat herself down in the front wagon and announced she was coming along with no further explanation, each and every last member very purposefully gave no further thought to the matter.

therobotmonster

It is painful to keep secrets, especially important ones. Dates and times, hours and minutes, names and places can raise nations or fell kings, if they are the right ones. Those that want those secrets will inflict every cruelty to pry them out of otherwise discreet lips.

Far, far away, Prometheus smiled through yet another liver removal. The bird went upon its way and the wound began to knit.

He kept his secret. The burden of the bigger picture demanded it. Zeus was kinder than Kronos, who was kinder than the primal chaos that came before. The pattern would hold, so long as the titan’s tongue was likewise held.

In the early days, when Zeus would come to interrogate him each day between the bird’s feasts, Prometheus had allowed himself one small slip. Had the Lord of Olympus been less enraged he might have recognized the prophecy when the Firebringer spoke it under the veil of defiant spite.

When Prometheus laughed through gritted teeth and stared the King of the Gods right in the eye, and prophesied.

You wish to know, oh mighty King of Olympus, merciful and just?

Fuck around and find out.

the-haiku-bot

You wish to know, oh

mighty King of Olympus,

merciful and just?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

pattonapologist

I love sanders sides because it is, fundamentally, the story of a man learning to love and accept all the different parts of himself, but all the parts of himself are gay and stupid and he is also gay and stupid

thatsthat24

The two true sides to myself: gay and stupid.

i-am-a-fish

I’m dancing in your inbox lalalalal so much fun

you live your life so joyful and carefree. I'm glad that you're having fun. I hope you live for 1000 years

i-am-a-fish

and may you live 1000 years as well.

prideknights

Stay proud, fellow Pride Knights!

herebegin

I just found this, and I love this account already

zombieseamonster

five year olds having a discussion is literally that philosophers painting

zombieseamonster

5yo a: I found yellow pelican feather

5yo b: no thats from the craft box

5yo a: but it Comes from some where first, the teachers hunted the yellow pelican and put it in the craft box

zombieseamonster

yesterday's philosiphical conversation was:

•monsters dont exist

•i have never seen a monster and thats how i know theyre not real

•ive never seen a frog

•frogs arent real

the-haiku-bot

•i have never seen

a monster and thats how i

know theyre not real

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

corpsegirlforever

>be an 8th grade English teacher

>have an asocial student who draws on all her tests

>hey at least she doesn't do it on scantrons

>start leaving compliments towards her art when i grade her papers

>fast forward a few months

>notice she's drawing on her test as I'm doing my rounds around the class

>ask her what she's drawing

>this thirteen year old emo girl looks up at me with the wettest eyes I have ever seen

>"you if you were in Family Guy."

trekkie-fefi

(¬_¬)

danis-artss

It's himb

Da king

He finally decided to grace us with his presence

(Though csp did NOT want to cooperate...)

luxuki-1

Greyghost my beloved <3

pukicho

This post is for ladies only. If you are a guy, GET out of here.

I bestow upon you this dagger. It is an ancient dagger. Use it wisely.

freudiandip

i'm nonbinary what am i supposed to do

comfybutter

if i had a pussy i would put a right angle in that shit a few centimeters in. twistss and turns abound it becomes a labyrinth as you attempt to traverse deeper

7kqe3j9fzdwm-deactivated2025110

i'm putting a minotaur in mine to defend it

its-funnytwittertweets

janokenmun

eulers-babe

for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

libraryogre

Remember, when you're on the jury, a good "that cop's story didn't add up" will sway a lot more Chads and Karens than "fuck the police."

curioscurio

Watch 12 angry men. You need to be the one person who keeps a calm head. It could change everything.

gatheringbones

“I shall never forget the occasion when I was visiting a school as a writer and the whole place suddenly fell into an uproar because the school tomboy - a most splendid Britomart of a girl - had beaten up the school bully. Everything stopped in the staffroom while the teachers debated what to do. They wanted to give the tomboy a prize, but decided reluctantly that they had better punish her and the bully too. They knew that if, as a child, you do pluck up courage to hit the bully, it is an act of true heroism - as great as that of Beowulf in his old age. I remember passing the tomboy, sitting in her special place of punishment opposite the bully. She was blazing with her deed, as if she had actually been touched by a god. And I thought that this confirmed all my theories: a child in her position is open to any heroic myth I care to use; she is inward with folktales; she would feel the force of any magical or divine intervention.”

— Diana Wynne Jones (via joeyvermeil)