this is a dan and phil hate blog now
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@fridayyy-13th
this is a dan and phil hate blog now
ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not
literally this
yearly remind that this post is real and true and you will get through this #manifest
omg...... the florida...
Fanfiction PSA:
ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!
Hold on i should've been more specific.
First: THIS RECALL IS NOT STATE SPECIFIC. IT IS NATIONWIDE.
here are the specific products and dates:
FDA page on this:
Target is voluntarily recalling Up & Up Fragrance Free and Up & Up Fresh Cucumber Scented Baby Wipes following customer complaints of produc
If you use baby wipes go check them NOW. A lot of Burkholderia bugs are antibiotic resistant so infections can be really difficult to treat.
today is the ten year anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting. a full decade ago, i lost a friend and a coworker. i was lucky. i had friends that lost several people. today, please remember and fight for all those that have died to live the life they should have been free to. i'll always remember you, Cory.
pink socks
The largest mass shooting in American history was a hate crime against gay people. Don’t ever forget that.
June 12, 2016. Putting a date on this for when it gets reblogged months from now by people who think the post is about something from 30, 40 years ago.
I am a survivor of the Pulse nightclub shooting, having grown up in Orlando and just turned 20 a month prior. If you didn’t know, there were several families who refused to claim the bodies of their relatives due to their sexuality. One family even had their relative’s name removed from the memorial. Murdered by the same hate with which their families reject them in both life and death.
Many, many people celebrated Pulse. We were told we deserved it. That it was God’s punishment for our sin of loving the same sex. We are sent messages like these I received in 2018:
We in the community often call the victim count 49+ to include the survivors who couldn’t live with the pain.
The event was never officially declared a hate crime or targeted homophobic attack and is rarely listed as one in databases.
At our vigils for those slaughtered, Extremist Christian groups showed up to protest, holding signs like this:
ID: Me kissing a woman I was casually seeing in front of an angry looking man with a “Sodomy is Sin” sign.
Please understand how much more than just a mass shooting this was. We are still to this day harassed and told we deserved it by some.
This year was the sixth anniversary. The first couple years I received dozens of messages checking in on me on 6/12. Year 5 got enough news coverage for people to think to reach out to me. This year it was my therapist, the woman I kissed in that photo, and a couple of other gun violence survivor friends. People are forgetting already.
With the 7 year anniversary <2 weeks away, I figured I’d reblog this
Tapping the sign.
most important post on the planet btw
you actually feel gaslit when you try to tell white people of a certain age that pewdiepie, with a platform so vast and catering to youth, helped reinvigorate racism and casual dehumanization towards indians because they get all “omg you can’t blame One man for that” like yes i can actually :) we were very incrementally making our way past the gas station indian popularized by apu and indian creatives were finally being given legitimate and serious opportunities (like say what you will about aziz and mindy in hindsight but at the time that was a shift culturally) only for this dumb swedish pig to get online and spark that vile shit right back up. ask any indian with a modicum of pride in their heritage and they can tell you how uncomfortable pewdiepie made us with ourselves
"I'm not skilled at gardening and i don't have the time/energy to learn, but i really want a pretty garden, so i hired a gardener"
That makes a lot of sense, it's nice to experience that beauty!
"I love writing music, and I can play a few instruments, but my playing skills don't cover the breadth or depth of what I want my songs to sound like, and none of my usual partners were available for recording this month, so I hired someone who's good on sax and another musician who plays an upright bass to help me record my new stuff, and they added a lot of depth to the experience!"
Good call, when you really want the right sound right now it makes sense to bring in people who are available and talented!
"I'm a decent cook and my friends love the food i make, but sometimes I enjoy a really high-quality meal in a carefully curated atmosphere or i don't want to do dishes, so i go to a restaurant and pay a chef and cooks and waitstaff and dish washers to make me a fantastic meal in a nice setting without any of the chores."
Of course, we all love a good time without the usual work sometimes!
"I love music and I play the piano really well, but sometimes I want to hear it played by someone who's really dedicated their career to it, or who plays in a style I'm not experienced with, so I go to a concert and pay a musician for their music, or I buy their albums so I can listen to it at home."
Yes, getting to experience an expert in their craft is a real treat!
"I've been way too busy to take care of myself or my living space lately and it's been taking a toll on my mental health, so i hired someone to help me tidy up this week and then went to a salon to get spiffed up so I could feel better about myself, and i paid those professionals for their work and education and experience and skill."
Good on you, self care is so important!
"I'm not very experienced with sex and and would like someone else to show me what it can feel like, or I want to enjoy sex at a time when I don't have anyone available, or I enjoy sex and am pretty good at it but I want to experience it a dedicated atmosphere with someone who takes it seriously, or I want to see what all is possible when someone is really an expert at it and treats it like a set of skills they've spent a long time working to master, or sex makes me feel good and i could really use that good experience in my life right now, so I paid a sex worker to help me achieve that goal."
...
If you think the last one is somehow fundamentally different from the others, that hiring a professional to provide a service that you want or need for any reason is suddenly immoral because it involves sex, you should probably reflect on why. Because really, at the end of the day, it's not.
#note that someone in any of the other professions (esp gardening cleaning and beauty) could have been labor trafficked!#if that's your only argument against sex work it applies to a lot more than you'd be comfortable with
^ peer reviewing these tags.
"Sex work is exploitative and i won't stand for it!!!!! Anyway what do you think of my garden? I just had it redone by a team of undocumented immigrants who worked for a fraction of minimum wage doing backbreaking labor under a landscape company that will turn them in to ICE if they try to find better work or speak out about their conditions or don't do a good enough job fast enough, so i got a great deal! isn't that wonderful? Anyway, try this Driscoll's™️ Fruit Salad I got yesterday..."
Also, if you are worried about exploitation in sex work (which we all should be), do some reseach and see if there's a sex workers union where you live. For example, In Australia we have the Scarlet Alliance:
Scarlet Alliance and Touching Base unequivocally reject Minister Bill Shorten’s public declaration to exclude access to sex work services un
While not every country is going to have one, if yours does it is a great way to be able to engage with sex workers while also being certain that they have workers rights and protections. This goes for all the other industries as well by the way.
Sometimes sex workers are trafficked, denied human rights, and exploited horrifically, that is true. And that's why I'm happy that I live in a country where they have a union to protect them. Because those things aren't unique to sex work, and sex workers deserve the same dignity and protection as all other workers.
finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on
Springing off of my addiction post once more, I am also skeptical at best of 12-step programs, because their framework has just never remotely aligned with my actual experience.
The substance I was addicted to was heroin. While I was actively addicted, it absolutely came before everything else. My life shrank around it. I kept using despite very real, very obvious negative consequences. If you’re looking for something that fits the “compulsion + harm + loss of control” model, that was it.
But what’s always sat strangely with me is what happened when that context changed.
Once my abusive relationship ended and I was no longer in an environment where it was readily available, it was shockingly easy to stop. I’m not saying it was physically comfortable. My body was pretty pissed off for a while. But psychologically, it just didn’t have the same hold anymore. I wasn’t spending my days white-knuckling cravings or constantly thinking about it. It dropped out of my life in a way that, according to the 12-step model, is not really supposed to happen.
And that’s where my issue with that framework starts.
Because 12-step ideology tends to assume that if you have ever had that kind of relationship with one substance, it reveals something fundamental and permanent about you. That you now have a generalized “addictive nature” that will attach itself to other substances or behaviors if you’re not constantly managing it. That you are, in some essential way, always on the verge of transferring that pattern onto something else.
And that just hasn’t been true for me.
I was a near-daily cannabis user for years. When it started consistently making me feel physically uncomfortable instead of good, I stopped. No drawn-out battle, no existential crisis, just “this isn’t giving me what I liked about it anymore” and I moved on.
I drink occasionally, in social or celebratory contexts, and I genuinely find alcohol kind of boring outside of that. It doesn’t have much pull for me.
I tried gambling once, got annoyed at how tedious and overstimulating it felt, and left the casino in under an hour. I have not felt remotely compelled to revisit that experience.
I use the internet a lot, and I play a handful of video games, but I can also go on a camping trip with no signal and be completely fine, unless you want to try and find something pathological about nature photography, in which case you can blow it out your ass. If anything, I generally enjoy the change of pace. There’s no sense of panic or withdrawal or “I need to get back to my computer/consoles immediately.”
So when I hear the idea that addiction is this broad, transferable trait that will latch onto anything with quick reward or low friction, I just don’t see it reflected in my own life.
What does make sense, looking back, is context.
When I was using heroin, I was in an abusive relationship. My environment was unstable, stressful, and honestly pretty bleak. The substance didn’t just exist in a vacuum. It fit into a specific set of conditions where it functioned as relief, escape, and regulation.
When those conditions changed, the behavior changed with them.
That doesn’t mean there was no dependency. There obviously was. It doesn’t mean there were no consequences. There very much were. My grades suffered. I dropped out of college. I lost my apartment because staying out of withdrawal and numbing out from the abuse felt more important than paying rent.
But it does suggest that what we call “addiction” might not always be this permanent, identity-level trait that needs to be managed forever. Sometimes it looks a lot more like a relationship between a person, a substance, and a specific environment.
When that’s the case, then a framework that assumes universality - “if this happened once, it will always be waiting to happen again, with anything” - is going to miss a lot of variation.
I’m not saying 12-step programs can’t help people. Clearly they can, or they likely wouldn’t exist in the way they do. But I do think they’re often treated as the model of addiction rather than a model that fits some people and not others, and when your experience doesn’t match that model, many people who swear by them will assume that you are misunderstanding yourself, in denial, or “not taking it seriously enough.” This paternalistic attitude only serves to make me even more skeptical of the framework.
For me, what mattered wasn’t declaring myself permanently “addictive” or treating every pleasurable behavior as a potential threat.
What mattered was getting out of the environment where that pattern made sense in the first place.
Rat Park, people. Stop forgetting about Rat Park.
i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street
couldn’t leave this in the tags
Rachel Reid if you give us a canonically asexual/acespec character and that character is Luca Haas my life is yours