love is the point.

lina. lovecraft. main rap / sub vocal.

[ftlina-blog]

* kind of funny.

@siyeonft

things between lina and siyeon are good. she feels confident enough to say that to herself as she examines her groupmate’s face in the backseat of the van next to her. the other three girls are in the van in front of them, probably all asleep. lina’s always found it difficult to sleep on these kinds of journeys         something inside of her just won’t let her. she used to get horrible motion sickness of a child, maybe it’s some sort of leftover trauma from back then. she wishes she could though. it’s been a long day, hectic and spent in front of cameras. the kind of day you need to rest after, where there’s not much you can say. 

“ not able to sleep either? ”  lina offers. they’re very different in nature, her and siyeon, and hadn’t immediately gelled the way she and avery had, but she wants lovecraft’s ‘97 line to be close. so, lina thinks, things between them are good, but they could always be better.  “ i think i’m overtired at this point, you know, when you’re too tired to sleep? ”

she wonders if siyeon’s noticed the shift in her behaviour         usually so bright eyed, her smile is more forced nowadays. it’s even in her voice tonight, there’s something missing deep inside of lina kitsuwon, and it’s beginning to show in the airiness of her words, so uncertain and open ended, the only way they could be when you consider the state of her mind, foggy and distracted, flickering between television static and still images of her own body, zoomed in and photoshopped, colour corrected and smoothed over, still images of her own body as it really is, worrying and sharp, covered in as many layers as she can get away with. tired eyes blink at her group mate as lina’s brain catches up with her mouth.

“ never mind me. i’m . . . like i said, i’m tired. ”

[ftlina-blog]

* bittersweet.

one year ago.  /  @ftyeosang

it’s a cold winter night         new year’s eve 2017. in just a few hours’ time, lina and the rest of lovecraft are going to go on stage and perform a summer song at a festival in the dead of winter. she’s okay with that, they’ve given her tights to wear at least, so she won’t be as cold as she could’ve been. but for now, they have some free time backstage, a thing so hard to come by. 

naturally, lina’s got her coat on, a fluffy moschino thing that isn’t on the racks yet and typically, she’s socialising         not because she particularly wants to, no. her brain is begging for her to take advantage of this and get some rest, curl up on a chair somewhere and doze off for an hour and a half. but her heart says something different. paint on that smile she’s so famous for, and use this time to chat to people she likes, people she would never usually get the chance to see.

she can sleep when she gets home. it’ll be precious little sleep, but that’s what she’s used to by now.

her conversation partner is called away for hair and makeup, and lina sends them off with a smile and a wave, before her feet pick themselves up of their own accord, on their path to find a new distraction, before her tiredness catches up with her and she drops. 

within a minute, her eyes land on yeosang, lighting up as she throws him a cheesy grin.

“ is it cold enough for you? ”  she jokes, mock chattering her teeth. it’s awkward, but she doesn’t really know what else to say. there’s no one else around, and she can’t help but wonder if yeosang feels the same tension in the air that she does. 

[ftlina-blog]

hi gang! i just got home LOL so i’m really wrecked  ( it’s 1am ), so replies to dms will come tomorrow! in the meantime, consider this a STARTER CALL!! i’ll either write something random or hit you up for plotting, so hit that heart!

[ftlina-blog]

hi gang! i just got home LOL so i’m really wrecked  ( it’s 1am ), so replies to dms will come tomorrow! in the meantime, consider this a STARTER CALL!! i’ll either write something random or hit you up for plotting, so hit that heart!

[ftlina-blog]

hi everyone!! i’m jess and i’m so pumped for future to be reopening, even though i’m super late! i’m about to go to bed but please go ahead and like this post so that i can slide into your dms in the morning! i also play suhee & sooyeon, but i’ll probably doing most of my plotting for all three of them on lina’s account!!

lina is lovecraft’s main rap, sub vocal and visual! 

a model babe, a cover girl for our times. lina’s true love is the world of fashion, and once lovecraft’s idol careers dry up, she wants to really delve into fashion design.

but for the moment, she’s stuck on the other side of the camera, which is birthing a whole bunch of self esteem and body issues. 

a big movie nerd!! 

basically come shopping and watch movies with her.

i’ll get some plots up tomorrow omg

[fttaewoo-blog]

poison or love,

[ftlina-blog]

T A E W O  O‌:

outgoing ➟ lina 💕 ↻ — we could find some time to meet up, though, if you want? ( deleted ! )

it sounds too much like a date, too much like commitment, too much like something that just might ruin what they have: a friendship. because that’s all this is, he tells himself over and over again.

the fwooshing sound of her last text being sent off into the digital world rings off in her ears, and lina screws her eyes shut, rolling over off of her stomach and onto her back, dropping her phone on her chest. it hits her smack in the middle of her sternum with a soft thump. she’s not the type to watch for whoever she’s texting to start typing. her anxiety about all of this is bad enough as it is without those three little dots staring back at her from her phone screen. 

nonetheless, as soon as her phone buzzes, she jumps straight to attention, picking it up and unlocking it with her thumbprint. she’s going to ask avery for some acting lessons, she thinks, peeking out from underneath her duvet to check on her sleeping roommate. their manager was starting to get suspicious, she was sure. 

outgoing ➟ taewoo ↻ — we probably will have a comeback before the year is out ↻ — but maybe not because of the tour ↻ — oh, the tour!

she sends off the first half of her message without thinking, types the second half out too before she realises she might be sounding too eager about all of this. 

but is there any real reason not to be?

( a )  her career. ( b )  his career. ( c )  their group members’ careers.

she can only imagine the backlash         but she’s been playing everything so safely for years, overly cautious at every step. people sneak around like this all the time, she knows it happens, she’s seen it happen, but lina isn’t people. lina does everything she’s told to do, and yet she sends the second half of her message anyways.

outgoing ➟ taewoo ↻ — we probably won’t be able to chat like this for a while because of all the funny timezones i’ll be in ↻ — it’ll be weird not to talk to you before bed 

[lgcminju-deactivated20200911]

— videography

[ftlina-blog]

A V E R Y‌:

avery blocks the incoming pillow with her arm, holding it hostage against her chest as she sits up on her bed and crosses her legs. she did know his name, but that doesn’t mean she has to say it. she does it all for the effect anyways. “does that mean chris evans and i actually have a chance then?” she looks at her friend dubiously, a bit confused at the fact that she thought a whole american hollywood actor would be easier to date than a boy her age, in the same industry, someone she actually sees once in a while. “why wouldn’t anything happen? i mean, don’t you guys talk? chris evans doesn’t even know i exist. you could just text taewoo.” she knows it’s not as simple as that, but sometimes she feels like it really is.

lina rolls over onto her front, pushing her phone completely aside in favour of propping her chin up on the heel of her palm. her smile is wicked.  “ he can’t be that boring, he’s a hollywood actor         i’m sure he has some fun stories at the very least. and then when he runs out of them? dump him. ”  

her sentence is punctuated by a wink and a laugh, prompting her to entertain the thought that their conversation is childish, but she quickly dismisses it. she never really had the chance to have a first crush, to talk like this, always too nervous of the repercussions or unable to articulate herself back at the age that other girls were going through the motions of first love. she experienced all of that second hand from the television.

before now, that had always been enough for her. lina isn’t someone who likes change. she appreciates having her days planned out for her, she doesn’t really know how to function any other way. curveballs like new emotions throw her off a lot more than she lets on.

“ maybe if you post enough about how much you love captain america on instagram, we’ll get to meet him. ”  lina tries her best to ignore the implications of something happening for her and taewoo, tries as best as she can when she can feel her face heating up, cheeks glowing bright red when avery just comes right out and says it.  “ i could just text him. i have been . . . just texting him. and that’s all it is, you know? just texting. plus, i don’t think he even likes me like that, and even if he did there isn’t any time for it to be anything else. ”

she gives avery a look like all of this should be obvious, lip jutted out and brows knitted together. 

“ just agree with me, please, so i can get over it. ”

[ftlina-blog]

flash.

@ftxleon / polham photoshoot behind the scenes.

it’s with easy familiarity that lina poses in the little faux dorm room set up that they’ve done up for the shoot, an old camcorder in hand as she throws a look over her shoulder. she smiles big and wide when they ask her to, with hair thrown back and cascading down her shoulders. the stylists put waves in it today, but she’s sure that they’re already starting to fall out, to be fixed at the cost of frying her head with even more heat. her hair has never been good at holding a curl. 

this shoot is a little different though. modelling with others is something she’s not a stranger to. she and the rest of v!be have done more than their fair share of group endorsements over the last three years after all, but all of her work outside of with her group members has been by herself         and today, that changes. 

it’s lee seungyeon’s first time on a set like this, but he’s good, lina thinks. she thinks he might have the knack for it, and she likes to think that she’s pretty trustworthy when it comes to things like this. her eye is good. whenever her time runs out as an idol, she’d like to keep working in fashion         behind the camera though, not in front of it. 

it takes what feels like twenty thousand more camera flashes before the staff let them have a break. with a bottle of water in one hand, lina flashes seungyeon her trademark smile, warm and genuine. she’s thankful for the nature of the clothes they’re wearing for the shoot, the crew neck layered over another hoodie keeping her nice and toasty. she always seems to be cold nowadays.

“ how are you feeling about all of this, huh? ”  she asks, head tilted to one side, a genuine curiosity lighting up her eyes.  “       have you peeked at any of the photos? the camera likes you. ”

[ftzone]

TRINIVIBES!! Our time has come!! Have you all seen these photos yet?? We all know Lina is a modeling queen, but isn’t this Leon’s first real solo modeling job? And he gets to work with Lina, a veteran… ㅋㅋㅋ isn’t he lucky? And isn’t Lina lucky, getting to work with our handsome Leon~ This is such a great day for trinivibes… the biggest boy group and the biggest girl group working together, f*ck, KJC and Mobius must be laughing all the way to the bank right now… with all of my money ㅜㅜ

[TriniVib3_]: I never thought the day where we see a V!BE and a NEO member together would come… Everyone, go stream PEEKABOO and District 9 to mark this day~          [NE0nation]: @[TriniVib3] Or you could just stream District 9…            [TriniVib3]: @[NE0NATION] ㅋㅋ people like you are why I’m embarrassed to say I’m a trinity in public [LINAALLERGYMONKEY]: Lina really pulls off every type of clothing, doesn’t she? I wish I had a body or a face like hers, she’s so blessed ㅜㅜ         [s0larne0]: @[LINAALLERGYMONKEY] Good luck with that… If you really want to look like her, give KJC a call, maybe they’ll give you the name of their plastic surgeon ㅋㅋ  [idolstyle1]: Aren’t the colours in the pictures so fresh and youthful? All the yellows and blues they used are sooo nice ㅎㅎ And their faces are too of course~ This generation of idols’ visuals are no joke [L_EON]: My lovely Leon~ I’m going to go shopping for menswear just for him ㅎㅎㅎ Leon, trinity are so proud of you!!          [luvNEO]: @[L_EON] Each member is so special in their own way, let’s hope Mobius let Leon do more modeling and choreography in the future so that he can shine!!

                                    ( load more comments / @ftxleon + @ftlina )

[ftlina-blog]

peekaboo.

@siyeonft / backstage at a peekaboo comeback stage.

lina adjusts the little black shorts she’s wearing as she makes her way out of the bathroom and back into the girls’ waiting room, eyes scanning around the space for the other members. if she’s honest, she doesn’t mind the packed schedules or the sleepless nights all that much. lina is at her happiest when she’s working after all         if only because at least when her mind and body are occupied, she doesn’t have to think about other things. 

the tour, she thinks, will be fun. plane rides and new cities and new faces in the crowds. it’ll be work, but it’ll be even better, an even better distraction from the thoughts running around her mind. 

she lands, ungracefully, on a chair next to siyeon, pulling her legs up to her chest and clutching her knees. she doesn’t mind having her legs out, not with the over the knee boots and the belted blazer she has to cover the rest of her. 

“ you know, ”  she starts, resting her chin on the tops of her knees.  “ i think this is really shaping up to be my favourite concept that we’ve done. maybe. what about you was my favourite before... getting to be a doll was fun. ”  a tiny smile, a tilt of her head. with a face like hers, pretending to be a doll was easy         or so some comments said. others thought it came too easy, that she was creepy.  “ have you warmed up to it yet? i feel like we haven’t spoken in a long while for two people who live together. ”

it’s true, lina’s been going to bed as soon as they’ve been getting back to the dorm lately, she can’t help it when she’s running on empty the vast majority of days. 

[userorgana]

cute lisoo 

[ftlina-blog]

the grind.

schedule 01. wc: 405. + 5 vocal, + 5 popularity, + 5 karma.

this is what lina’s about. she really likes peekaboo’s concept, and the longer she stares into the camera lens and the more poses she does, the closer it inches to becoming her favourite that they’ve done so far.

and v!be have tried a lot of concepts.

that’s something she appreciates. if the company is going to push them until they collapse and work them to the bone, at least they switch it up and do something new every comeback. the rich in colour, glittery pieces and sliced up gucci t - shirts are far more preferable than this past summer’s tiny blue tank tops and matching shorts. lina had felt all sorts of insecure in only u’s outfits         they were a far cry from what she would choose to wear herself.

this is better. demi did a good job, she thinks, as she changes out of her first outfit  (  an off the shoulder rainbow shirt, paired with a pair of black shorts and over the knee black boots, accessorised with a choker  )  into her second  (  a short, bronze - gold dress, cinched in at the waist with a belt  ). she doesn’t feel like she did last time          exposed and on show for everyone to leer at. this time, she feels like she’s in control, even if only a little bit. 

coming back to korea after their brief few days filming their music video in the states, she’ll admit she’s been feeling a little nervous about how the song will be received, but with every snap of the camera in front of her, lina feels more and more confident. this is where she feels comfortable.

or, so she thinks before she sees the teaser images, peering over a staff member’s shoulder at the monitor. it’s a little bit disconcerting, but by now she’s already able to spot the parts on her body and face that will be edited before the photos go out. one eye is a little too droopy, a curve on her nose that the plastic surgeon seemingly forgot to fix. maybe she can blame it all on the weird spooky lighting they’re using for the teasers, but maybe it’s just her face. it’s the same as every other photoshoot         she loves the work, but it fucks with her head, makes her stomach churn as she looks down at a body she doesn’t really feel that she even belongs in. 

[ftlina-blog]

S I W O O‌:

about you.

“lina?” his voice is but louder than a whisper. he seals the approval of invitation with a knock, “how are you doing?”

i heard about the nasty collapse during recordings. must’ve hurt.

it’s better not to talk.

the way she claps her hands together and smiles, never usually being the one given the microphone when it’s time to accept the trophy, it’s all so rehearsed by now. her vision blurs for a moment, and she almost looses her footing         something she’ll blame on sliding on a rogue piece of confetti if anyone asks later on, even if it’s one of her fellow v!be members asking. it’s her job, she always reminds herself, before she’s a singer or a rapper or a dancer, to keep people’s spirits up, to wear a smile on her face. 

her mother always told her she smiled so prettily, and that was before the nose job or the extensive orthodontic work was done. and so, she smiles. she smiles all the way back to their waiting room, it’s no wonder she’s gotten a reputation for looking like a doll, hardly ever blinking. 

even when she collapses onto a chair, she keeps the corners of her lips quirked up, even as they come together to cover her teeth and her eyes droop shut. she isn’t going to sleep, merely resting, which is what she tells the others as they file out to go to the bathroom, or get some refreshments, or . . . lina doesn’t know where they’ve gone, in truth. maybe she’s already halfway to sleep, despite her best attempts at protesting that she isn’t.

it’s not the quiet call of her name that rouses her, it’s the sound of a knock on her door, to which she gently answers a  “ come in. ”

it’s park seyoon.

not a face she sees often, not in real life anyways. the fans have their funny ideas though, so she sees their heads pasted beside each other far more often than she ever thought she would. 

“ oh, me? i can’t complain, why would i? this song . . . ”  she pauses. how are you doing? it’s a dreaded question for lina. as good of a liar as she thinks she is, the bags under her eyes reveal the truth.  “ it’s really sweeping, huh? ”

[ftlina-blog]

                                      lina kitsuwon as JULIET CAPULET.

a happy coincidence         a pair of friends, one too lazy to think of a costume besides the obvious, and the other too excited to finally have the opportunity to match as romeo & juliet not to beg her higher-ups to let them do it.  /  + 5 popularity, + 5 dance, + 5 karma.

[fmdrinaarchive]

offer / lina . demi

[ftlina-blog]

D E M I‌:

“lina…” she started off, coming to a full stop in front of the girl. “are you free?” of course, work had to come first and demi wouldn’t dream of pulling her away from that. “i’m leaving to select the final pieces for your comeback and i wanted to invite you to come with me.” her voice was soft, well softer than the meeting but there was still a slight edge in her tone. demi couldn’t control it, she got it from her company after all. “i see potential in you and i would love to test that theory out.” she would always be up front and blunt about what she said and she wanted to lina to fully understand this for what it was; a test. “would you like to join me..if you’re free.” another test. would lina turn down a offer like this? because she didn’t offer it to everybody. lina had been one of the lucky ones. “of course, i understand if you don’t want too.” and then she would be black-listed in demi’s mind. if someone was silly enough to turn down a hands on experience, they weren’t worth her time.

and her time? it’s very precious.

she just short of jumps when demi stops in front of her, addressing her by name. her posture immediately improves, hands coming to clasp at her front. eyes wide and curious, she nods enthusiastically, cheeks flushing at the mention of her potential.  “ right now? yes, i’m free. ”  she’s exhausted, they’ve been running through their new choreography all morning, and all she wants to do is go home, curl up and sleep away what few hours off from comeback preparations she has. but she would have to be stupid to turn down the opportunity to work with demi. so, yes, she’s free. if she does a good job helping demi out on her shopping trip, then maybe she’ll put in a good word for her, maybe lina will be allowed to at least help out next v!be comeback.

lina has never been one to scheme to get her way, not like so many others she met while she was a trainee, like so many others she’s met even since her debut three years ago, but she won’t overlook chances that present themselves either.

“ would i like to join you? unnie, i would be absolutely honoured to. ”  she says, punctuating her sentence with her signature beaming smile, squeezing her own hands.  “ i thought what you did with the styling on hurt locker and paradise lost was really great. i would love to get to be apart of your process, thank you. ”

she unclasps her hands and allows them to swing at her sides for a moment before they land on her hips.  “ so, where are we off to? would you like me to carry the bags? or a shopping list? ”  lina is the picture of enthusiasm, of sheer determination, with the way that her steely, anticipatory gaze contrasts her bright, shiny grin.

[lgcminju-deactivated20200911]

— videography

[ftlina-blog]

A V E R Y‌:

it’s all speculative, knowing how avery feels about the whole boy situation ( though she’s inclined to believe that she wouldn’t say no to captain america anyways ), but it’s fun to think about. she turns her head to look at the other girl, glancing back at her screen every now and then. “i mean, i know you have heart eyes for what-his-name but god, how do you look at any other boy knowing a whole chris evans exists?” it’s a bit out there, a bit fake coming from her and she knows it but won’t admit it, especially not to herself.

avery’s voice carries over the sound pumping through her air pods, which are pulled out of her ears as soon as her roommate crosses the threshold, hitting the spacebar on her mac book to pause her film         some psychological horror that she hasn’t even been paying attention to. she’s been finding it increasingly difficult to focus on much of anything lately, which isn’t ideal for comeback season, but what can she do, huh? she already had medical leave from promotions already this year, it’s not likely that she’ll be so privileged again. 

“ the captain america movies are the best marvel movies. ”  lina says simply, nodding in agreement. he was cute, she supposed. she cracks a smile at the way avery whines, rolling her eyes.  “ maybe. maybe he’d come all the way to korea for you, just for you to break his heart and send him straight back. ”  a shake of the head, faking seriousness for a second before she breaks out in laughter       

      laughter that quickly comes to an abrupt stop as her cheeks flush pink and she tosses a stray cushion on her bed over to avery, aiming for her head.  “ his name is taewoo, and you know that . . . and i don’t have heart eyes. we just, ”  she pauses and shrugs her shoulders. there’s no point in lying about how she feels, not to avery, who ( a ) knows her better than anyone, and ( b ) has already had to suffer through hours and hours of talk about taewoo. she has the patience of a saint, lina thinks.  “ maybe i do. have heart eyes or whatever. but it’s not like anything is actually going to happen. it’s . . . about as likely as you and chris evans. ”

[fttaewoo-blog]

poison or love,

[ftlina-blog]

T A E W O O:

outgoing ➟ lina 💕 ↻ — really? that sounds exciting and like a lot of fun! your new song seems like it’ll be amazing, i can’t wait to hear it and cheer you on

part of him hated it – hated every moment – because he knew nothing would come of it. besides the obvious elephant in the room of them both being idols (if not forbidden to date by their company, forbidden due to the fact that fans would drop like flies if either so much had a moment on camera together), there was little to no reason for a girl like lina to feel something for a boy like taewoo, after all. he had to constantly remind himself that he was probably nothing more than someone to talk to during her busy schedules – he’d take it, though.

it’s late at night when she sends off the first text         she doesn’t even know if taewoo will still be awake. she’ll take her chances though, and spends far too long composing a message about their preparations for peek-a-boo and how demi’s so graciously allowed her to accompany her while she shops for the pieces she wants them to wear in the video. it gives her hope that the day she’ll be allowed contribute like that will come. she wonders if she’ll even be able to do a good job. just because she thinks she would, and just because she spends day after day on fashion sets doesn’t mean she actually would. she admires taewoo for what him and he members do, envies them for the fact that they get to make their own music. 

it feels awfully juvenile, she’ll admit, lying on her stomach propped up on her elbows, with her duvet pulled over her head so the light from her phone screen wouldn’t wake up avery across the room. her poor roommate has already had to deal with her going back and forth about whether she should even message him in the first place         was she coming on too strong by texting him most, if not every day, for the last couple of months? was it sad? did he even realise?

probably not. 

and anyways, she’s not looking for a boyfriend, she’s not, she insists. the backlog of romantic films in her watch list says differently, as does the way she jumps when she feels her phone buzz in her hand.

a smile spreads across her face as she reads it, breaking her out of her sleepy haze. cheer you on. it’s the plural you, she reminds herself, he’s going to be cheering all of them on, not just her. 

outgoing ➟ taewoo  ↻ — you’re too kind, you clearly give my rap skills too much credit

a jab at herself, the kind of humour she falls back on around her friends, the kind she tends to avoid using in her taewoo texts  (  a trademarked phrase  ). she starts typing again, quickly, getting in a follow up that doesn’t sound so sad. 

outgoing ➟ taewoo ↻ — but thank you!! going abroad for stuff is always nice. ↻ — you’re sweet ( : ↻ — it’s a shame our promotions this month weren’t at the same time

she almost doesn’t send it, feeling like it might be a little risky         but, don’t friends like to see each other too? it doesn’t have to mean anything. nothing has to mean anything if she says it doesn’t.