Since everyone was upset with me for this post, I thought I'd give you
1 Sentence to make a Critical Role fan laugh
"Nancy! Where have you been?!"
"If you're not alone and you're following us, cough once if you're alone."
"We still don't know where the fuck Raishan is."
"You leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!"
"I can tell by the bone structure and the contempt."
(After Tary forgot the name of the Milf he slept with) "What's this mother's name?"
"Why don't you die with dignity?" - "We do nothing with dignity!"
(barely audible through the pain of grabbing a necrotic gem trap 5 times in a row) "Are we the worst?"
"We changed the password. It's now Jenga 1 1000 2 1000 3 1000 4 1000 5 1000 6 1000 7 1000 8 1000 9 1000 10."
"Jenga means: I fucked up, my name is Vax."
"This is Vex'ahlia, you can call her Vex. I'm Vax'ildan, you can call me Vax, some call me Vex."
"Oh my gooood, you sell daggers? I wanted to buy a new dagger!"
"I thought he'd never leave!"
"I have an intelligence of 6, watch me!"
"I'm gonna kill everyone in this motherfucking house!"
"Your secret is save with my indifference."
"Life needs things to live."
"It's okay guys, I've taken one of them out!"
"I want your last words with me to be indignant and irritated."
"I'm not letting Raishan into the mansion!" -"Wait. I'm confused..."
"Should we drop De Rogna's body out of a window?" - "So I'm guessing she's not meeting us there because she's dead..."
"There was a bunch of fucking dwarves singing about what they had for breakfast, about what they had for lunch, tales of mysteries to the north. They had beautiful voices, but they just wouldn't shut the fuck up. One day we got ambushed and they all got torn apart."
"Sorry is a free action, bitch!"
(In the midst of the final frikkin battle) "We could get some fruit salad and get freaakyyyy!"
"I can't do reverse math."
"This is the most privileged thing that I've said that you've heard."
"I summoned this bitch, and we're gonna end her!"
"And it was the metric system!"
"But what about the chair??!"
"I love you! ...and I cast Modify Memory!"
"Sure, I'll bring that back I guess!"
"Help. Help. Help help helphelphelphelp!"
"It's not a cult! It's not a cult!!"
"Eat it, Sprinkle! Eat it!"
"Are you afraid you're gonna turn into sea water?" - "No, that horrible thought hadn't occurred to me, thank you!"
"I ate that meat ball from Scanlan and then I fucking died; I don't wanna make any assumptions..."
"He's married to me and I will cut you."
"What a lovely tree! It casts so much shade!"
"I rolled 37 stealth." - "You become two-dimensional."
"I'm just a candle maker." - "What are you doing on a volcano..." - "They're nature's candles!" - "...with a Zombie?" - "They're human candles!"
"I'm sorry, babe... I gotta real quick take care of those ninjas."
"There is a curse on our family. It's called Diabetes."
"How old are you?" - "14 days!" - "How old do kobolds get?" - "14 days!"
"Don't listen to her, you're not ugly... But you are a bitch and we'll kill you."
"What happened to just prank calling Essek?" - "Welcome to the Mighty Nein, Travis!"