So this whole Mattress thing reminded me of something that happened in 11th grade.
I went to a school that even though had students from five different towns, didn’t have a football team. Instead we had basket ball, and our pep rallies for it were damn good. Of course, this meant that every basketball player was the cream your panties high school gods. There were the sexy jocks, and luckily 90% of them were amazing, upstanding guys.
So this one boy, he’s black, and everyone has been following his high school basketball career. We’d had a big name come from the school already, so it was clear that we were all hoping he’d be the next to go up on the wall (and maybe the driveway would be named after him or something like that).
I was in 11th grade, he was in 12th, and there was barely half a year left to go. The pep rallies for the upcoming games were HUGE! Like, teachers doing penguin slides on their bellies huge. He was going to lead the Varsity team to victory, we all knew it, and you know what else? He was perhaps one of the nicest people anyone has ever met- I never heard him say an unkind word to anyone, and even haters knew he was a good guy.
So. Enter a girl that was in my grade. I’ll give some background information, she was one of 4-5 girls who lived in foster care with a man and woman. She was brought into foster care with her younger and older sister, and luckily they got to stay together. We found out later that they were verbally and emotionally abused (to the point that the eldest daughter eventually committed suicide by jumping off a cliff). She’s a sweet girl, but one of those people that was constantly looking for validation. She was always turned up to 11, never could just sit back and listen. If someone had a story, she had one that was more extreme then theirs. She grappled for the spotlight excessively (though now I understand why), and most weeks ended with someone running into her sobbing in the bathroom because no one wanted to be her friend (which was a lie, she rebuked me more than enough times).
So, long story short, after the major pep rally, she found this guy, this basketball player, and they hooked up. I mean, nothing for nothing, if someone were to come to me in high school after the whole school was rooting for me and wanted to make out and have sex? Like I would have said no! I imagine a lot of people lost their virginity that way.
So they had sex, and I remember having the next class with her. Everyone was still all hopped up and excited from the rally, so studying wasn’t going to happy, and classwork was pretty much a bust. So it was a lot of talking and discussion (and me sitting in the back trying to smile and seem inviting towards anyone who wanted to talk - I was ‘a goth freak’ and seemed to scare people? Iunno). The girl was going around to every table, every group and telling everyone that she had just had sex with him.
Guess who I just had sex with
So big too! What they say about black guys is right!
The bragging was rolling off of her in waves, and the first people she told just sort of nodded their head, yup yup, okay. It was only when she started saying that they were going out now, that another girl laughed at her and said ‘You do realize he’s dating _____. She knows you two were just a hook-up.’ and some of the other students laughed.
It was like someone had just flipped a switch, because the next words out of her mouth were ‘Well you should tell his girlfriend he fucking raped me!’
The silence was deafening.
She burst into tears, and ran out of the classroom. Some girls found her in the bathroom with her panties in her hands, screaming that she was taking this to the office for proof that he had raped her. In a matter of not even 10 minutes, the school was freaking out. FREAKING OUT! The teachers had to close doors and threaten people with detention or suspension if they left their classroom to find out what was going on
Cops showed up, and he was taken away in one of their squad cars.
Everyone was pissed. Students, teachers, janitor, principle. I saw as students tried to yell at her as she kept telling her rape victim narrative to anyone who would listen, I saw teachers hushing their students, because they had no idea what this girl was suddenly capable of doing to anyone. If she was willing to cry rape on a student, what would she say about a teacher?
Cut to a tense day later, and an announcement came that he would no longer be playing the basketball games due to the situation, that the superintendent thought it best to handle the situation this way, until the investigation was done.
You know what she said? After all was said in done? “I was just mad. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want him to get suspended!”. Yet again, crying the entire time (don’t get me wrong, I cry at the drop of a hat, but I was surprised her face hadn’t pruned). She later admitted to one of her sisters (the one I was closer to) that she had lied because she didn’t want everyone to think she was a slut.
He never came back to the school. I don’t know if he transferred, or dropped out, or was able to test out early. But it was a shock. It was amazing how quick someone was to just toss someone under the bus, in hopes that they would look better. So, pardon me if I like to assume that people are innocent until proven guilty. I’ve seen how someone’s future can be destroyed with one lie, and I can’t even imagine what the poor guy who had Miss. Mattress trying to push the whole school against him is feeling.
THIS? THIS is rape culture. Believing someone is a rapist no matter what evidence proves he or she is not, is rape culture. The bloodthirsty witch hunt for anyone who dares not rally with ‘the troops’ to smear the accused (and unproven) rapist, is rape culture. Wanting to do away with due process for men/boy’s, is rape culture. Being able to have completely consensual sex and then when you get embarrassed, or when you find out they are in a relationship, or they don’t want to date you- being able to turn around and scream rape, is rape culture. Creating art about lying about being raped and destroying someone’s future in the process, is rape culture. Refusing to work with the police because you shouldn’t have to prove anything you say about being raped, is rape culture. The utter arrogance of believing what a woman or a man says about being raped, over the other parties ability to prove they did not rape, is rape culture.
I dunno about you, but I’d take being catcalled by every single homophobic pervert in America, over being accused as a rapist any day.
stormborns
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