DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE
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The real conversation, not by a biased Marvel fanboy that has no clue what DC has done..
DC: You mean even after you've pumped Black Widow, she still can't star in a movie even though every other character you've introduced can appear in a movie?
Marvel: Well umm...
DC: Not to mention Avengers only had ONE female character and you have thus far a single female hero in your entire Cinema Universe, and you're bitching at us about Wonder Woman? Really? Wonder Woman had a TV show and a movie already.. Name one female character you've had that's had either? None.
Marvel: Well.. we had a GAY WEDDING on the cover of Astonishing X-Men!
DC: you mean the lowest selling X-Men comic? Awesome. Not to mention that you had Northstar marry the character you guys created SOLELY to be his boyfriend and never once did anything to develop him as a character in any way, so your gay marriage is a huge sham. Also, we did it first. Apollo and Midnighter are married and have been members of Stormwatch and Authority. Oh and Bunker our new teen character? Also married. Oh and The Movement had more LGBTQ characters than you have in your entire UNIVERSE, but you guys cornered the market on gay diversity with your one stunt gay marriage right? Oh and btw, we're not against gay marriage. We don't want any of our heroes married, so we don't have to One More Day them.
Marvel: But But but We've got HAPPY COMICS!
DC: Yeah.. SUperhero comics. Meanwhile, we've had a Western that's lasted 3 years. We've had War comics, Sword and Sorcery comics, magic, science, and tons of different things. You've still only done superhero comics. Congrats. Oh and we have humor titles, you just didn't read them.
Marvel: But WE HAVE GOOD MOVIES!
DC: And we have good TV, animated series, animated movies, games, comics, books, while you're still rocking gimmicks and great movies. So congrats on FINALLY getting some media that we haven't dominated yet.. oh wait, we did years ago.
Marvel: MS MARVEL IS A MUSLIM!
DC: Ok.. the new Green Lantern is a Muslim. Dr. Fate is also a Muslim (Ben-Hassin). Congratulations. Where's Dust again, you know.. you're first Muslim superheroine that you've completely ignored for the last several years and done nothing with?
Marvel: We have a LATINA (which means female.. Latino is male) Ghost Rider that's really a dude!
DC: And we have Vibe and Blue Beetle, both of which have appeared and do appear on TV. Your Latina (sic) Ghost Rider hasn't appeared in anything beyond the comics.
Marvel: WE HAVE ROCKET RACCOON
DC: Nice.. You mean Rocket because he now hates to be called a raccoon even though all through his entire history he has, but now he doesn't. And he's an absolute jerk now. So yeah? We have Captain Carrot and the entire Zoo Crew and they predate your Rocket Raccoon. You're only trumpeting Rocket b/c you're owned by Disney.
Marvel:SHE-HULK! AND FEMALE THOR!
DC: Harley Quinn (currently highest selling female lead title on the market), Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Batwoman, Supergirl, Catwoman, Katana, Pandora, Worlds' Finest, Birds of Prey, We've had several female lead titles and have had them for years. Glad you're FINALLY catching up. Oh and all our our ladies stand on their own, they don't need to sub in for a male hero while he's temporarily out.
Marvel: AFRICAN AMERICA CAPTAIN AMERICA! YEAH!
DC: Umm Ok.. We have: Mister Terrific, Static, Batwing (both Lucas and David), Steel, and we recently introduced our FOURTH (yes Fourth) Black Superman Val-Zod in Earth-2. So glad you can finally play ball with us. Now can you stop acting like you're the masters of diversity because.. You're not.
