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ew

[g4yb0ws3r]

@5qu1dink

[oldinterneticons]

[ozth]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

[musicalhell]

Now this big fella, we've named him Tony the Greek, he was rescued from an illegal goon mill for Runyonland Thugs. This is a very popular breed due to their classically intimidating looks and charming speech patterns, but they are very high-maintenance. The Runyonland Thug was originally bred for debt collection and deterring private investigators, so they need a bustling urban environment to run around in--if you keep him cooped up in your ominous castle or island volcano lair, he'll get restless and start roughing up your other minions. Proper grooming is essential; make sure his suits are nice and pressed and he has a long coat and a hat for when he's going out on errands for you. And they love toys--mostly Tommy guns and brass knuckles, but Tony, you can see, loves his blackjack. Sadly selective breeding has resulted in a tendency towards health problems--alcohol abuse, excessive gambling, getting shot in a police raid--but with care this loyal henchman will bring you joy and your enemies pain for years to come.

[00000066]

[mayadile]

Okay listen everyone. Just the last one please? Just bear with me here and just help me get this last thing. (Urgent 24 hrs)

My phone connection shut off, I'm using my friend's phone. I can't contact my mother which is bad, I need contact with her to know where she is. I still need the $188 yes, but I need our phones on and the phone bill is $78. If you guys could do that. That would be nice so I can make sure my mom is alright.

So in total I need $266 so I can finish paying my mother's week in a hotel and the phone bill to keep contact with her and others. Again I know this is annoying but it's hard out here now and even if I got a roof and all I'm still struggling. But my mom needs a roof over her head and the puppies along with food and feminine products until I'm able to help her get housing or a car.

Now the time limit is 24 hrs I need this until the end of the day. I need this right away! So please I beg you to help with this. It's serious, it's important and for safety :( !!!

PAYPAL WE GOT 24 HRS UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! $266 BOOST THIS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TO ANYONE! PLEASE!!

[mayadile]

Please as much as I beg I need help alot of it. It's hard to grab attention in time and I need help in my recent post, just please don't ignore. I didn't make it for my mother to get a week in a hotel. But I need the help now they're giving me 24 hours. I'm not joking.

[redstonedust]

villain character who has a last minute change of heart and sacrifices their life to defeat an even bigger bad but it entirely does not land as a redemption with the heroes. the heroes are just like "oh hell yeah two birds with one stone. thank fucking god i really didnt wanna have to deal with that guy anymore. good riddance."

[opossumgirltongue]

do you think anyone has a ytp kink . can only get off to sentence mixed porn

[bedsofrosies]

do yoy think anyoyna hasasas a ytpink. can only get off to BOOBS. can only get off to DICK. can only get off to sentence mixed pentence

[blackpyrefly]

fuUUuf. i'm mumming

[volcanows]

my friends keep trying to look in the mirror but i dont have mirrors in my car so i fixed it

[pettydemon]

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[cumaeansibyl]

Any story which refers to Haiti as an impoverished nation, which is all of them, should also mention that when Haitians won their independence from France, French gunships showed up and demanded they pay something like 22 billion dollars in today's money to compensate France for the stolen land and enslaved people they could no longer exploit

It took Haiti over a hundred years to pay that ransom and it's difficult to explain just how badly that fucked up their entire development, especially since France also demanded a 50% discount on everything they bought from Haiti just to make it harder. Like! No wonder they're impoverished!

Anyway if France would like to assist Haiti in its current difficulties they could always pay back the fucking money they extorted

[pangur-and-grim]

I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything

[spirkkock]

my friend just had an art show and they were communicating with the gallerist over email. They could clearly tell that the gallerist was using AI to respond to their emails, but just rolled their eyes and moved on.

and then on the day of the show, my friend asks, "where is the camera I requested?"

gallerist: "you didn't request a camera"

my friend: "I did, and you confirmed that you would have one here."

gallerist: "that isn't true."

and then she proceeded to pull up the email thread, and my friend could see that every single email they had sent had been summarized by AI, and that the gallerist had then had AI write a response to them based on the AI summary, and that the AI had detected that they needed a camera, and confirmed on behalf of the gallerist that they would bring a camera, but because the gallerist had offloaded the work of actually reading and responding, she simply hadn't actually made any note of it herself, therefore didn't bring it, nor did she even know one was needed.

so my friend had done all of this communication about their needs and expectations to be able to make the show possible, and the person whose job it was to read that information and get it done had simply.... not read the information and not done it. because AI.

[fishing-princess]

[dorothygale]

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

"is 35 too old for the club?"

Madonna is still singing about popping her pussy on the dancefloor at nearly 70 years old

[7777777awawawa7777777]

these things keep stealing ancient coins from my catacombs