so this is a little scene from a fic im working on about the virus and complications from the dcas perspective. i am excited to share it whenever it decides to be finished 🤨
for a bit of context: they check the others recording of their active time immediately upon switching if they themself have not been active in the background simultaneously, to catch up on what theyve missed while slumbering.
The thing about Kyros as ML is he's the king of misunderstanding (without malice) and very stupid because he's straightforward so he can come off as harsh especially to someone like Marie who has a problem in her self-confidence. Guy is not perfect.
He said "Are you abused by your family?" but what he meant is "If you need help, I can help."
He said "You're beautiful" but it don't mean "You're beautiful inside and after I dress you up with expensive clothing". What he meant is "You're beautiful when you're passionate about the things you like. I would like to hear you talk more. I bought you expensive things because you're worth it, a good person like deserve better and I thought it will help you boost your confidence. Not because you're only beautiful after I dress you up."
And yeah, his funny mixed up mistake made it worse to fuel Marie's insecurities even if he already explained himself. Still, Marie is an overthinker so she tend to think "What if I'm not the first option?"
Despite those flaws, he's trying his best to convey his feelings and messages. But it is hard to communicate if the other party put a wall against it.
people who don't use or spend time on tumblr don't really understand how solid this place is for creatives and how we could be living in artist utopia if they fully undid the nsfw ban. the tag system? the dashboard? the silly anons who will send you the most insane sentences known to mankind? having your very old, shitty art make the rounds again because somebody finds value from it and wants to show their friends? no other place even comes close
demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.
I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.
And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.
But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.
It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.
Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.
While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.
I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.
Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.
But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.
one thing that people get thrown by is when i say that i, being demisexual, do not find any famous people sexually attractive. they can be beautiful, in the same way that art is beautiful but i don’t have any interest in fucking a good painting. and even when i have a crush on someone, i’m uncomfortable with the idea of being intimate with them, and i only start to feel interested in sex with that person if we actually get deep into a relationship. it’s really not just “trust”.
One more stay at the catacombs of Paris because I can’t get enough of that place! Have you ever played around with the fantasy of Matt being your lawyer? Idk but it could be fun… slutty little lawyer coming to your rescue when you can’t afford proper help… yes yes yes yeeessss
bc i'm messy, and so is matt, we're making this a divorce case bc it sounds sexy to me
headcannon below the cut
matt murdock is a really good lawyer
matt has never liked it when the wealthy take advantage of people with less resources than them, using their money and power to bully people into submission, which was a big part of his decision to coax foggy into leaving landman and zack to start their own firm to help people that truly need it instead of protecting rich corrupt assholes
so when you show up at nelson, murdock & page trying to find a lawyer you can afford to help you with your messy divorce, you instantly have matt's sympathy, and his attention
divorce cases weren't something they normally handled, but you'd sounded so defeated and upset when you'd told him the details of what you were going through that he'd made an exception
at the beginning of your marriage, your husband had told you that you didn't have to work if you didn't want to, that he'd take care of you bc he came from a wealthy family and money wasn't an issue. you'd thought it had been an offer out of love, and it had left you free to spend your days volunteering at different places, organizing charity events, and enjoying your hobbies, but it had all been an illusion of control
your husband had felt entitled to your loyalty, thinking bc he took care of you financially that he was justified in his infidelity, and arrogantly believed that bc you had nothing without him, you couldn't leave him
needless to say when you told him you wanted a divorce, he retaliated with pure cruelty. he'd kicked you out, removed you from the joint bank account, threatened you multiple times, and either bribed every law firm in the city to not work with you or threatened them if they even considered it
little did that asshole know matt couldn't be swayed with bribery or idle threats. if anything, it just made him want to take the fucker down in court even more
while you'd signed a prenup, the bastard had been so overzealous in his belief you'd never walk away that he'd forgotten there was an infidelity clause, which worked in your favor. getting proof of his various affairs from jessica was one of the easiest jobs she'd ever done, and she'd been happy to do it for free
and throughout the process, matt was there to reassure your anxieties about the case
"even though your name isn't on the dead to the house, because you're married, it's considered a joint property. it's illegal for him to kick you out and change the locks without a court order. there's also the infidelity clause he violated, which we have evidence of. now, I think he's cocky and vindictive enough to pursue the case without settling, but he's gonna lose."
he kept you involved every step of the way, met you in coffee shops instead of the office sometimes bc he noticed you were more relaxed in a setting that didn't remind you of what you were going through, even though it was the main topic of discussion
but he sprinkled in more personal conversation, asking you about your upbringing, sharing a bit of his own. he listened to your heart's rhythm settle into something more relaxed when you spoke about the things you were passionate about, the volunteering and charity work, all your little hobbies
matt would also try to crack jokes, little lighthearted banter just to get you to smile. it felt like a victory every time he was successful, gifted with that melodic sound of your laughter
"you know, we could probably make a good case for emotional damages. i'm pretty sure I could even make an argument for wasting your time."
he could tell this wasn't about the money for you, and that endeared him to you even more. you weren't retaliating back, even though you had every right to. you weren't trying to milk your ex husband for every penny, you didn't even care about getting half of what he owned. all you wanted was safety and security, to have enough to comfortably start over and take care of yourself
this was about betrayal for you, in more ways than one, and you were genuinely devastated. your entire life had been upended, you realized in one disastrous moment your whole marriage had been a lie, and now you were dealing with malicious fallout when you'd done nothing wrong
matt had a natural protective instinct, it was who he was at his core, and why he put on both suits, but with you it felt more personal, and it became more personal with every interaction and every word as he got to know you on a deeper level
he could tell how anxious you were when the court date came, your heart fluttering in your ribcage like a hummingbird's wings, coristol flooding your nervous system, your refusal to even look in your ex husband's direction, who was sitting smugly next to his hotshot lawyer who also had a cocky smirk that matt wanted to smack off. and he would, verbally
matt reached out to place his hand on top of yours, which was resting on your bouncing knee, the anxious action halted by his reassuring touch. he gave it a gentle squeeze as he leaned in to whisper in your ear
"everything's gonna be okay. trust me, sweetheart."
he let your ex husband's lawyer take the lead. it was always satisfying to him to let his opponent show all their cards first, to waltz around the courtroom and flaunt their arrogance, letting them think they had an airtight open and shut case. he sat there calmly the whole time, a subtle smirk present on his lips, just waiting for his opportunity to go for the jugular
when it was his turn, matt took his time standing up and unfolding his cane, slipping one hand in his pocket casually as he walked to the front of the court room with all the ease of taking an afternoon stroll
he started off with a nonchalant tone, presenting the facts with objectivity, and slowly let his aggression build as he began to lay his own cards on the table one by one. he could sense the two men getting antsy when he presented the evidence of the illegal act of kicking out his wife and restricting her access to their home, and let his passion seep into his tone as he presented the cherry on top; the violation of the infidelity clause in the prenup
jessica had captured all the various affairs in photos, texts, voice recordings, and even two videos. solid concrete evidence that couldn't be denied or refuted, and left the hotshot lawyer stammering and trying to pull an excuse out of his ass
matt heard the judge's decision in her body language and the hum of disapproval before she even announced her ruling, in your favor of course, which made that devilish smirk stretch wide across his lips
"thank you, your honor."
he couldn't resist stopping by the two men, their arrogance now deflated with defeat, letting his own smugness resonate with his cadence
"should've taken the settlement. next time you want to get away with being a piece of shit, you could at least try to not get caught."
he doesn't let you pay him any of what you win from the case, which you immediately try to protest, insisting on compensating him for his help, bc without him none of this would have been possible
"you need the money more than I do. that's your fresh start."
besides, matt doesn't want your money, he wants something else instead, so when you insist yet again on paying him somehow, he just flashes you a dazzling grin
"how about dinner?"
in conclusion I want him bad your honor
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