A place for analysis, discussion, and meta about all things Ian and Mickey.
What is meta?
Fanlore.org offers this definition- “in fandom, meta (also meta essay) is used to describe a fan-authored piece of non-fiction writing discussing any aspect of fandom, fanworks, or the source text. This can include discussing characters and their motivations, fanfiction tropes and trends, fan activity, particular plot elements, choices by canon creators, alternate possibilities for canon and much more.”
What is Gallavich Meta?
I will be reblogging posts that include meta, discussion, and analysis of Ian, Mickey and/or their relationship. Although headcanons sometimes come under the umbrella of meta, I will not be including posts which are just headcanons as there is already an awesome blog dedicated to that @gallavich-headcanon. I will include posts that are mostly analysis but may contain some headcanons. This will be mainly an archive of meta on tumblr and a place to encourage discussion and analysis. I will be reblogging posts I feel are interesting and they may or may not reflect my own views. With 11 seasons of Ian and Mickey content, there is so much to discuss and analyse.
Can I submit meta?
Yes! Whether it’s a new post you’d like to share or a link to some old work, please feel free to submit it.
Does meta have to be a proper essay?
Not at all! Of course, it can be but it can also be just a series of thoughts and ideas. It can be really long with links and gifs but it can also be as short as a paragraph. If you’ve got an idea you’d like to discuss but are not sure how to format it, feel free to check out the posts I will be reblogging to see how other people write meta.
What if I have a meta question?
You can send an ask with your question and I will share it so other people can discuss it.
What about meta about other characters or relationships on Shameless?
Although this blog will primarily be about Ian and Mickey and their relationship, I will also reblog/share general Shameless meta as well. Again, I will reblog things I think are interesting and they may or may not reflect my own personal views.
Is there anything that isn’t allowed?
Character bashing and general hate. Also, while there are a lot of sensitive and difficult topics portrayed in Shameless, I would like this to be a place where people can discuss and debate in a civil and polite manner without being rude or hateful to others.
Can we tag this blog?
Yes! Feel free to @gallavichmeta. I will also be tracking the tag #gallavichmeta
I have another question!
Please feel free to send any questions/suggestions/ideas.
The scene of Ian and Mickey in the boys’ bedroom before the wedding is too fucking fun.
THE PARALLELS TO SEASON FIVE ARE SENDING ME. The first is Ian coming out the shower, applying deodorant and combing his hair in the mirror, like seriously paying attention to what his hair looks like for marrying Mickey. Flashbacks to season five, Mickey was getting dressed and applying perfume and checking his hair in the bathroom mirror so he could visit Ian in the psych ward.
The second is Ian sitting on the edge of his childhood bed and Mickey asking about meds. Back to season five and Mickey handing him his pills and kissing his head. Except back then Ian was low and dejected and hated the pills and now he’s already taken them, he grabs hold of Mickey, he smiles.
Secondly, Liam just walking the fuck out. Like Mickey comes in, shirtless, towel round his waist, hair wet from the shower, Liam takes one look and is like NOPE and walks out immediately.
Carl, bless him, takes longer to catch on. If I had a nickel for every time a Milkovich sibling kicked Carl out a room in his own house and called him shithead so they could have sex with Ian, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice. Seriously though, he should’ve taken a leaf outtaLiam’s book. I mean really? Shirtless Mickey with his Godamn tattoos and abs and wet hair walking right in front of Ian with that smirk, on their wedding day? Carl. WALK AWAY I mean they kicked him out anyway, Ian side eyeing Carl when Mickey was snapping at him was too funny.
Also Gallavich being sweet. Mickey tilted Ian’s chin to look at him, Ian grabbing Mickey by the waist, pulling him in, holding him, cupping his cheek and grinning so hard that he looks like his fifteen year old self again, side eyeing Carl and not even bothering to reproach Mickey, kissing his neck and undoing his towel and just holding him…
so in 4x11, frank's post-operative delirium manifests with carl as lip, sammi as debbie, sheila as peg, and emily as fiona. he brings up monica (who we may be able to assume is represented by emily's mom, because she's likely sleeping in the hospital room with her. or he's just imagining monica there) when he is talking to emily and recounting what seems to be a memory of an incident where he and monica left the kids out in the cold overnight.
frank: lets be quiet so we don't wake up monica.
emily: monica?
frank: i'm sorry we left you and your brother in washington park last night. the dealer gave us a sample. i forgot you and lip were waiting outside. how many hours was that? you could've frozen to death.
notice how frank says brother, not brothers, and does not mention ian by name. this is curious to me because frank also does not notice or point out chuckie as anyone (that we can see on screen) despite chuckie being in the room the entire time.
though frank is experiencing delirium and could be seeing any combination of young, adolescent or present-age lip, fiona, debbie, or peg, he is imagining fiona to be close to or slightly younger than the age emily is in this scene because he offers to take her to get her ears pierced the next day.
fiona and lip are 4 years apart and lip and ian are only 1 year apart... though this memory could've taken place in the year between lip and ian's births it's highly likely imo that ian was also present the night they were left in washington park... ian seemingly does not exist in frank's delirious state altogether...
also thinking about the moment in s11 where frank's dementia-induced confusion causes him to call out for every member of the family but ian... he even calls for lip twice. like frank seriously doesn't care about ian so much that even in his most hallucinatory and vulnerable states he still doesn't cross his mind . ow
I’ve seen you mention a few times that you feel Trevor was written as sort of a Mickey parallel and I’d be super interested in hearing your breakdown on that!! I’d never thought of it that way until you mentioned it and now I’m curious.
yep!! heres a few links to other posts/asks where i heavily mention trevor
trevor kinda ends up serving 3 different purposes within the story at different times:
the first is that trevor is a way to make social commentary on wider queer culture of the time, specifically trans people. there's a lot to critique about the depiction here but honestly when this aired (2016) it was something mostly unseen on tv and i do still think its an overall empathetic depiction of a trans character. though it was exaggerated and treated comically with respect to other queer things like micro-labels, it was pretty accurate to the landscape at the time. it was amazing to see a trans character be desired!! but yeah we can assume that was the original function of trevor because of what happens shortly before they meet: caleb tells ian his sex with denise wasn't cheating, it was healthy sexual "fluidity," which leads ian to experiment with a woman. he doesn't like it. so, he comes out of that with a more reinforced strict attraction to cis men.
ian finds himself into trevor almost immediately. learning trevor is trans makes him question his understanding of his sexuality. ian thinks that, because he tried having sex with a cis woman, he would not be attracted to trevor on a sexual level because trevor did confirm that he does not have the genatalia ian considers himself exclusively attracted to. ex. in ian's scene with sue, he insists that they're just friends because it "can't be any other way" despite the chemistry between them. obviously, the narrative then shows that this is not true because ian very much grows to enjoy sex with trevor.
trevor then introduces ian to a pool of queer people that isn't populated by the older club crowd he was used to, but do still like to party. the show was also attempting to "modernize" as it went on so it was helpful to introduce the gallaghers to other members of the community they'd otherwise maybe not interact with.
the second purpose of trevor is to be a foil to mickey. important to note that when they do all this theyre not trying to replace mickey theyre trying to remind us of mickey/draw parallels so they can show us where they differ or fall short
where i see this coming up most is that trevor, like mickey, has a pretty dominant and somewhat abrasive personality. he does challenge ian and makes him work for things like his approval. he's very blunt, but he does also show a softer side. on top of that, their physical attributes are similar (shorter than ian, dark hair)
we can gather that being with caleb is ian consciously and subconsciously running as far as he can from mickey (into what he thinks is normal and stable. example: he says to trevor in 7x04 that he and caleb were homebodies who rarely went out except to snooty restaurants and that he feels like a "middle aged shut in"). trevor is a step closer to what he wants: thrill, passion and adventure. visually, trevor's similarity to mickey manifests in his wardrobe sometimes. theres only so many wardrobe styles for men esp in shameless lol but like we do see trevor in a lot of cut off tanks, as well as nicer button ups for the bar, and that other henley shirt i posted about.
there's also this scene with new-lip and new-ian featuring old ian and mickey wardrobe (this is a bit of a reach bc all of the homeless and queer shelter people are rocking recycled gallagher/ball/milkovich wardrobe but to me its kinda like ian and trevor are being haunted by shadows of ian and mickey)
thats all in reference to s7; by s8 trevor has a well-defined style that fits his character imo
theres a few cinematography cues: their first club scene in 7x04 features blue, purple, and pink lighting, much like the fairy tail. then, in the yard party scene in 7x05, their kiss has a rotating camera shot like the club kiss.
there is also the scene where ian goes to trevor after he loses his first patient (with the habit of seeking sex as comfort) much like how he did with mickey in 1x09. however, their sex is derailed because they're both tops. this starts us on the sexual exploration part of their arc, with the ultimate outcome being that ian is relatively open to bottoming (he does willingly offer it to mickey in 7x11) but does much prefer to top (an area where their compatibility aligns better, because mickey much prefers to bottom).
theres some more visual parallels in this edit here !!
the third function trevor has is as an objective link between ian and at-risk queer youth, and as an outlet for ian's grief. i talked more about how they are in s8 in the posts i linked at the top but working with the shelter is something that would obviously hit home for ian given his sense of empathy and justice, history as a runaway/a kid in and out of the foster system, and trauma from what happened with terry and mickey. ive also mentioned this before but the contradiction of trevor being a shelter/social worker and still being unable to recognize the early signs of ian's manic episode or offer the sympathy he needs in relation to monica (both in s7 and in s8) is a great foil to mickey, who "shouldnt" be able to, but can because he knows ian so well. it just shows that though trevor and mickey are similar, trevor falls short in key compatibilities with ian. and at the end of the day... what if nothing ever gives you that same thrill again.........
there's an alternate universe where circumstances are less dangerous in early seasons so ian gets to hang out in mickey's room all the time and he just thinks his boyfriend's room is so cool
he's got crazy posters and random stolen stuff and CD's ian just sits on the bed with mickey for hours looking around at all of his cool stuff it's like a window into mickey's weird awesome brain and he just loves it
they probably left that west side apartment a long time ago. and after living in a slightly smaller apartment for a year, they would've bought a cozy house they liked, either on the south side or the west side.
did they finally adopt a kid? i don't know. but by this time, i think mickey's heart would be pretty much open to the idea of a kid. he would've become much more secure in his faith in their life together.whatever the case, they are stably settled down now. those sporadic anxieties that used to pop up between ian and mickey would be almost completely gone. solid trust and stability have built a firm foundation, and soft, fluffy love still floats right above it.
they've reached a phase where small displays of affection happen more often than intense, passionate acts. mickey has practically become so much more affectionate in front of ian. on days when he's in a good mood, he smiles and gives ian little bird pecks on the lips all on his own, even without ian asking. ian can't hold back his smile, and as he cups mickey's head in his two large hands, the kiss deepens. that's how a typical morning passes by.
i just hope they live a life like that. whatever happens, as long as they can smile, that's all that matters. as long as it's the two of them, everything will be fine.
Mickey runs the tongue over his lips when he looks at Ian and still can't have him, just to imagine he's kissing him. To feel the ghost of his hot mouth pressing against lips that once served as purgatory for a ragged breath caused by a body he didn't want, didn't desire.
Sometimes in his room, his fingers would move there just to know what it would feel like to use his own body to make it fully his; and to have chosen who to give it to. Oh.
in this post https://www.tumblr.com/gardenerian/706641891291217920/mel-i-am-wondering-when-you-think-ian-told-mickey?source=share you said you wanted a reminder to talk about how depressed ian was in s6 !!! I'd love to read it if you wanna sound off about it!!!!
hey there 💓 you sent this days ago and i have had a time with it - thanks for being patient.
i originally wrote this as an episode-by-episode breakdown like my s8 meta, but it stopped making sense and honestly kinda bummed me out asdkfh so instead, i'm gonna talk about a couple of things that are going on for ian in s6. if you wanna talk about any specific episodes or moments, lmk and we can definitely dive in.
i namely want to get into what mania can do to the brain, what recovery looks like, and how depression manifests in the process. i think these things are under-explored in shameless - and talking out some shameless misconceptions is something i've been thinking a lot about lately.
and so, onwards:
standard disclaimer that i am neither a doctor nor an expert, just a sick person who gets sick. i've done some reading and listening, but others can speak to this a lot better than i can. anyone else is welcome to chime in.
i guess we should begin by pointing out how soon s6 picks up after 5x12. it’s been what? weeks? debs is just confirming her pregnancy, so it hasn’t been too long - but long enough for carl to have spent some time in juvie.
so let’s recap on the last year or so of ian’s life:
manic episode -> depressive episode -> manic episode with psychosis -> hospitalization -> attempt at medication -> arrest -> implosion of personal life and break up -> now we’re at a kind of baseline depression
and that’s where we find him in s6. and i think it’s important to understand what ian’s been through in the lead up to this - not just situationally, but what his mind has literally just been through.
what goes up must come down, yeah? ian spent much of the previous two seasons manic as all get out. his brain has really been through the wringer. studies show that bipolar disorder may cause physical changes to brain over time, and functional abnormalities during episodes.
there are also studies that argue that bipolar can cause accelerated decrease of grey matter in the brain - which impacts physical coordination and motor skills, memory, and emotional regulation. there are degenerative health effects associated with illnesses like bipolar. untreated bipolar get worse with each each sequential episode.
this is not to say that ian is suffering from these longterm effects a year into his illness, but his brain has really gone through it. there is more to recover from than just the situational consequences. there’s a physical and neurological recovery as well. severe episodes like ian’s (untreated manic episodes can last 3-6 months) estimate about a 12-18 month recovery.
and there’s a lot involved in this. it’s medication and vitamins, exercise, vitamin d. it’s financial recovery. rebuilding relationships. confidence. a sense of self and purpose. picking up the pieces of what the episode left in its wake.
but it’s also cognitive recovery. working on memory, executive function, focus, sleep. i think a lot of people look at ian in s6 and think that the depression largely stems from the breakup and the diagnosis - i see a lot of fics that have ian realizing “what he’s done” with mickey after the meds kick in, and that’s what sends him off on this depressive mood we see.
and of course that’s part of it. regret and shame are awful things to face. and there is a grief that accompanies recovery. you’re mourning your health, your plans, the future you thought you were building.
and in a lot of ways, you end up mourning the mania itself - the ideas you had, the power you felt. it can feel like nothing will make you truly special or worthy again. and so you get depressed. it’s all over, and what’s left? what now?
the depression also comes from the ways we are all forced to define recovery. when do you get to declare yourself recovered, and what do you have to achieve first? what are the indicators of progress? for ian, i think the depression deepens when it comes to this aspect of the timeline. there’s no such thing as just bouncing back from an episode like that - and it’s so much more intricate than just rebuilding the social and practical aspects of his life.
routine is good for us but it’s also boring sometimes. recovery is boring sometimes. when you’ve been going and moving and acting - the monotony of healing can be infuriating. i think ian definitely deals with this. when the progress is slow and largely internal, it can seem like we’re just stagnant. it feels awful. ian is lost, even as he heals.
there are other studies that argue that existing scales and rating systems for bipolar depression can fail to capture the nuances of bp lows. this is because they are skewed towards unipolar depression (or MDD). so when we talk about bipolar depression, it’s important to really understand what we’re saying - we need to take into account the possible polarity changes within a single episode, we need to remember the greater mood variability.
i think shameless skewed the fandom perception of what bipolar depression looks like. the first lows we see - monica in s2 and ian in s4 - show us catatonic characters completely unable to function. ian just seemingly wakes up that way. they don’t see it coming.
and that happens. of course it does. other studies suggest that bipolar depressions might be shorter, but they are quicker to onset and have greater frequency than MDD. but that’s not the whole picture - and i think we do ian a disservice by glossing over the nuances of his experience and recovery.
there are also cognitive troubles associated with depression that can only be compounded by those associated with mania and medication. it’s all of this that makes ian’s s6 story so remarkable. but it’s those s6 episodes that show us how deep it can settle in the bones, how tiring it is to exist, drifting from recovery milestone to recovery milestone - and then, before you know it, you’re blinking awake a little easier. thinking a little clearer. quicker, sharper. with something to fight for. a life to look forward to ❤️
The fact that in 9x05 when Ian goes to Terry for advice about prison Terry says “Mickey’s in Mexico” when he first opens the door makes me wonder if Mickey made contact with Terry either while he was in prison or when he escaped because how else would Terry know that? Mickey was a fugitive no one was supposed to know his whereabouts and unless it was public knowledge that he was there (which I don’t think it was considering he was never caught) how did Terry know that?
Idk I think it makes Mickey going to Terry for advice about Paula in season 10 more significant and shows it’s not out of character for him to do that because as much as he hates Terry there’s a part of him that still wants Terry to be a dad to him sometimes.
I agree that it is not ooc for Mickey to go to Terry for advice. He was working with him in S10. I don't think Mickey sees Terry the same way that the fandom does. I also don't think that Mickey hates Terry. He knows what Terry has done to him, but we must remember that Mickey is very much Terry's son. He was raised by him, all of Terry's Neo-Nazi, racist, homophobic leanings have been instilled in him since birth. And even though we have watched his amazing growth over the years, there are still echoes of those ideals in him. I recently read a fic, from early Mickey's pov, where he thinks that what Terry did to him, the whole Svet thing, was Terry caring enough about him to try and fix him, and... that makes him a better father than Frank! I can see it, that scared closeted teenager holding on to what he knows. So yes, Mickey very much wants Terry to accept all of him, he wants Terry to care about him, to love him. It's why he cries when Terry is killed, because that dream is lost.
And Terry, how does he see Mickey? I also don't think Terry hates Mickey. The "out of sight, out of mind" thing fits so well. Watching the scene where Mickey goes to him for advice is a prime example. When Mickey brings Ian up this is their convo:
T: "Who's Ian"
M: "Fuck you man, don't start with that shit."
T: "I'm just fuckin' with you... (laughs)."
Terry knows exactly who Ian is, Mickey is living with him. But he gives Mickey shit, in a joking manner, and then starts to set up a means to get Mickey to Canada because he knows, "You're a Milkovich, cops gonna pin this on you before lights out is cell block C." It may seem to some to be kind of ooc, but that is how Terry rolls. He doesn't go off until marriage is brought up. And that seems to be a pattern with Terry and his gay son. As long as Mickey being gay is not "in his face" he ignores it. The only times he went after Mickey was when he caught them, when Mickey came out, and when they were getting married. It is also why Ian felt he could go to Terry for advice. Because Mickey is in Mexico, separated from Ian, just what Terry wants.
I can totally see Mickey going to Terry before he heads to Mexico. Terry might even be the one who set him up to work with the cartel. We know he has ties to them.
I think we all fundamentally take Ian and Mickey's final episode in S2 wrong...
If we just take the "warm mouth" scene alone at face value then sure, Mickey is absolutely being deliberately cruel to Ian.
But let's look at how Ian takes it in the wake of that exchange, he talks about it only once in the next few episodes, and he says to Mandy that "Mickey thinks I pussied out" [on killing Frank] and he thinks he 'kinda' did.
This is Ian and Mickey soulmatism "we just get each other on a molecular level", so their thought process is somewhat inscrutable to us on the outside, but I think, in a way, that Mickey was already pretty serious about his relationship with Ian in season 2 and seeing Ian not willing to "fight" for them to be together felt like the ultimate betrayal.
Let's not forget that in that initial scene right after Frank discovered them Mickey was talking in plural, 'we do this, we do that'.
Seeing Ian refusing to help him the way he needed to be helped was definitely something that hit Mickey hard and caused him to lash out.
And it's not like Ian wasn't trying in his way! He was going through what he thought was the safest route to keep Mickey around cause he also cares a great deal about his not-boyfriend (let's not forget that the point of not killing Frank isn't that he turns his nose up at patricide but that he didn't want Mickey to go to juvie).
By misunderstanding his actions and not giving him time to explain Mickey jumps the gun and says what he says, and he's only able to see reason months later when nothing happens from the safety of prison.
There's obviously that other layer to the conversation, that Ian fundamentally doesn't understand the severity of the risk for Mickey and just how afraid he is ('we've got nothing to be ashamed of' 'what fucking world do you live in') because their families are so different, which will bite him in the ass later.
Mickey coming back to Ian in S3 the way he did, I know some people found it weird that Ian was immediately on board when their last interaction was what it was (cause we're fixated on the "you're nothing but a warm mouth"), but what they don't get is that this is Mickey forgiving Ian and giving him another chance, not the other way around.
Edit: I also don't think that that whole situation was swept under the rug either, Mickey learns pretty quickly that Ian isn't at his beck and call anymore at the beginning of S3, despite what their initial reunion suggests, that he's got "options" (yes Ian was doing it to make him jealous, but he doesn't know that) and I think that was him learning that in S2 he had pushed Ian too far away, that his words and actions had consequences in the relationship.
I think we need to analyse this scene a little today:
This scene is short, but probably one of my favorite in the whole show. Gallavich are finally together again, they're navigating being stuck together, but Ian has to get out of jail; they'll have to be once again separated. For the first time, Mickey is the one fighting for Ian to leave.
Why? Because he cares about him. It shows how he places Ian above what he personally wants or believes in. Ian comes first.
And that whole dialogue:
"I wanna be where you are, Mickey!"
"You don't get to be."
It's what Shameless has shown countless of times; Gallavich want to be together, and they get separated. As if they don't belong together. And this time, Mickey urges it's because Ian needs to have a stable job and go see his nephew; showing once again how much he cares about Ian.
"I love you."
"I know."
It's the second time Ian tells Mickey he loves him out loud. When was the first time? Before he left Mickey at the Mexico border. To me, Mickey's answer is so telling.
He knows.
Despite everything that life has thrown at them, despite all the hardships, the times Ian left and the times Mickey was running away from himself too, he knows. He knows Ian loves him, wants to be where he is. He might have had little periods of self doubt, obviously, but deep down, he has always known. Always felt that what he and Ian had was unlike anything else; why else would he come back and risk himself otherwise? For sure, there's his love for Ian, but being in the same cell...I firmly believe Mickey has always known that he and Ian loved each other and were it for each other. Even when Ian was leaving, he knew it was only a question of time before they found each other again.
And now, life threatens to separate them again. It hurts, it's scary, but Mickey wants the best for Ian. Because he has always known that no matter what happens, Ian loves him, wants to be with him. And the feeling is mutual.
Not only this, but it's also the first scene in which they both say "I love you" to each other. Shows how strong and solid they are, no matter what happens. All that matters is that they love each other. They're meant to be together.
Mickey walks up self assured. Ian is there. This is all going to plan. He's confident. He's happy. He's ribbing with Ian about going to prison for him. It reads rehearsed to me. The whole meeting reads as something you think of when you have nothing to do. Like Mickey wondered what he would say to Ian, and where to meet "for real" after sussing out if he could still trust him. (1, 2)
So when Ian says "I have a boyfriend." it's the first time Mickey is unsure. Look at his anxious tells!!:
the step back. wide eyes. the nervous lip bite. scratching his eyebrow and face with his thumb. turning away to hold back.
Ian mentions a boyfriend and immediately his insecurity flairs. Thinks of when he was his boyfriend. How Ian had really moved on while he was in there. He hadn't waited. He knew Ian had lied that day, but he still got Ian to say it. He's been clinging to that hope. Probably thrilled when he found a way back to him sooner than the end of his sentence. So Ian comes, like Mickey knew he would. He came and he looks healthy and he called him Mick. Mickey doesn't understand why they're not just getting to the fucking part. Because he knows he missed that part, knows Ian had to have. (3)
"I have a boyfriend."
and suddenly Ian isn't his yet. This isn't a celebratory fuck like he'd hoped. This is now Mickey convincing Ian, reminding Ian. Reminding him what they had together. Doing it in the way Mickey knows the two of them have never had trouble with. Sex.
(footnotes after the read more.)
Bringing Ian to the bleachers is such an emotional manipulation! lmao Mickey knew what he was doing with that move. but also the fact that his hitman cellmate is right there like backup in case Ian snitched. Mickey's so smart guys.
Mickey thoughts: so it's gotta be somewhere neutral and quiet. and somewhere I can make an entrance. And i'm gonna walk up and say-- no wait, i'll walk up and kiss him. And then we'll probably have sex. And then I'll bring up going to prison for him... naturally.
I really don't think Mickey had a contingency for anything other than Ian's following him at that stage. Mickey thinks he has Ian in the bag. Ian's there.
I've often wondered how quickly he started thinking about escape. Did he expect to keep taking jobs from Svet for however long he had to, so she'd bring Ian? Did he think Ian would be fine, and Ian had broken up with him, and he was still visiting, sooo... but then Ian didn't look better like he looked better last time. Ian didn't come back to him this time. No one else sees Ian like Mickey does. I think Mickey knows it. Saw it. Mickey notices. And Mickey does something he's good at. Finding Ian. This time he just had more physical obstacles than usual.
I think Ian has every right to talk about Frank's abuse, honestly. You can't just dismiss the abuse Frank inflicted on Ian and the rest of the kids just because Terry's abuse was worse.
That said, I don't think that this scene the right moment to bring it up.
The timing and the context are the issues. Mickey was clearly having a moment. Seeing his dad paralyzed, I think a part of him felt bad for Terry, even though he hates him. Terry put Mickey through literal hell for years, making his life unbearable. In this scene, Mickey's expressing his emotions about Terry in a way he rarely does, because he's right there in front of him, in pain and paralyzed. Mickey’s being honest and upfront about Terry’s abuse in a way he doesn’t do often - compare how he acts there to "you don’t know a thing about my dad!"
That moment wasn’t the right time for Ian to make it about Frank or his own family, in my opinion. It turned it into a competition, failing really offer him the support he needed.
I will say, Mickey probably doesn’t even realize this; he likely thinks he shouldn’t need support, because why would he care about what that asshole is going through? He probably wouldn’t have been very receptive at the moment, and maybe Ian’s thinking of that. But handling it differently still would’ve been better for them in the long run.
Imo Ian should’ve just bitten his tongue, listened to Mickey with care, and tried to understand him. Frank’s abuse definitely warrants a conversation between them, but that wasn’t the right time or way to do it. I like to think they had a more mature and understanding conversation about it after Frank died.
Maybe Ian was trying to make Mickey feel less alone in his feelings. Like saying, "I hate my dad too, you’re not bad for feeling that." But Mickey's struggle is that sometimes he doesn’t hate Terry. And the complexity of this and Mickey’s feelings about Terry is something Ian has always struggled to wrap his head around, and thus he struggles to console him, (not just in that scene, but throughout the show). And Ian’s confusion isn’t unwarranted, feelings around abusive parents are complicated.
(I will say while it makes a lot of sense for Ian to be like that in the earlier seasons when he was young, I don’t really understand why they continued to write him like that in the later seasons, because of what he went through after Monica died. But, alas, that’s how they wrote him).
Anyway, Ian often trips up when trying to console Mickey because he doesn’t really understand Mickey’s feelings. Ian can also just get too caught up in his own feelings that it causes him to lose sight of things. Because of this, when he does try to comfort Mickey, he tries to console him the way he would console himself - telling Mickey that Terry was an asshole who hated them anyway “Terry hated you. He hated us.” But since they don’t really feel the same way about their dads, it doesn’t actually help Mickey. It’s the only way Ian can really think of, though.
However, Ian gets there eventually. Even if he still doesn’t quite know what to say, he learns to just be there for Mickey. I think he still doesn’t really get Mickey’s feelings by the end of Terry’s “funeral,” (which tbf, neither does Mickey, really) but he does know that Mickey needs comfort and a distraction, so he finally puts his own confusion aside and offers Mickey comfort through affection and humour/distraction. Basically saying, “idrk what you’re going through, but I’m here anyway.”
And then we have this scene!
Ian handled the “I’d be a shitty dad” situation really well. He sensed Mickey’s discomfort and didn’t try to side step it like he had done in the past. Once Mickey spoke, he knew that Mickey needed physical touch more than a lot of words. He also didn’t try to go deep into why Mickey felt that way etc. because he knew Mickey wasn’t ready for that yet. He just gave him reassurance and love. He validated his feelings but still disputed them, because he doesn’t believe Mickey would be a shitty dad, and Ian wants him to know that. Plus, Mickey actually communicated why he was feeling on edge and didn’t try to run away! They’re learning!
Season 11 had so many flaws, and even this scene isn’t perfect (talking about having kids while acting like Yevgeny never existed???). BUT this scene shows how far they’ve come, and that they’re both learning and getting better at communicating and understanding. I think it leaves the audience feeling that their relationship is moving in a good direction for the future.
do you ever think about mandy telling ian that being with caleb was an upgrade from mickey?
i think about the look on his face and the hesitation in speaking to mandy about it. to me it’s like ian was disappointed in knowing mandy would still look down on mickey, especially considering she was there witnessing him taking care of ian and his disorder. i love that ian says i miss mickey despite him telling svetlana he’s ’done with that part of his life’ and hurting mickey in the prison scene.
i feel like that’s the moment ian’s mask slips away and he wants to be honest with mandy for a second, allowing himself to acknowledge that he does miss mickey but he broke up with him because he loves him too much.
this is why he quickly adds the ‘but’ trying to convince himself that what he has now it’s okay, he can move on. adding the bit about him surely breaking up with caleb because of him being bipolar says a lot about them too. cause ian expects caleb to leave him and he’s ‘okay’ with it. what ian knew back then too was that mickey wouldn’t have left ian, ever. he didn’t want mickey to suffer and put him through all that— after being with his mother and having to live with her and her boyfriend in their miserable state. he realised what he would have put mickey through and did what he considered the best thing for him.
he kept himself busy, building his life away from him, getting into relationships and pretending that was what he truly wanted, but then he hears about mickey being back and suddenly everything comes crashing down. all of his intense feelings, what made him feel alive, those are back.
ian not being able to sleep at night cause he kept thinking about mickey shows why he would protect himself by pretending he doesn’t care
when he meets mickey for the first time after jail, he goes straight to him to ‘fight’ and it feels like ian has never been more alive than that time. i don’t see him pretending or trying to fit into what he is not ( which is what i think he did with his other relationships as they kept judging ian for one thing or another )
when he talks to fiona at night he tells her he can’t get him out of his head, he finally admits that he’s always thought of mickey and finally seeing him led to him spiralling and all of his self control going to shit. trying to control himself not to give in, cause he’s done that so well by having mickey away from him, out of reach but he’s there now and he can’t help it.
he literally saw mickey a couple of hours before saying that and they were together for like, 5 minutes? yet that was enough for ian to feel that thrill that he tried so hard to forget and convince himself he could live without.
i love that he runs away with mickey, i love that mickey tells him ian was the only one that had his back and that not even his family did half of the shit ian did for him. how ian admits he didn’t visit because it was hard to see him through the glass, cause fuck how can he keep himself stable if everything he wants and makes him happy is so close but so far away? and then ian admitting he thought of mickey a lot, finally being honest about that.
i completely get ian not going to mexico with mickey back then, that would have been a shit show for both but i also love the fact that ian wanted to be there so that he could see with his own eyes that mickey was finally safe and once again free (in some extent).
him telling lip about running away, asking if he should have gone with mickey. like he knows he wanted to do that, he forced himself to walk away but the moment he thought lip considered them running away together a good idea, he felt hopeful and regretful cause he wanted someone else to confirm he’s not losing control but that it was ok to do, the right thing.
but monica dies right there and i can’t imagine ian being in mexico finding out about it and being so far away, not being able to go back. i feel like mickey would have blamed himself so much for that too.
things go to shit from there on and i know it’s both because of monica dying and mickey leaving. he doesn’t have the time to control himself, to shut his feelings off and put mickey in the back of his mind locked away like before. everything comes crushing down and then trevor isn’t supportive, blames him for things and gets angry at him for the whole gay jesus thing (like hello, he’s having a bipolar episode? )
i’m sure ian just couldn’t stop himself comparing the way mickey treated him, loved him and cared for him during his ups and downs— to how trevor dealt with it all. he keeps going down cause nothing makes sense anymore.
then he goes to prison, everything still sucks and it worse because he’s still recovering, still vulnerable and has to spend years in a place that’s not safe, not familiar to him. but he sees him, he sees mickey and it’s like he can breathe for the first time. he’s finally safe and he’s loved
i will never forget the person who said smthin like ian was selfish for asking mandy "why did he think it was me?" instead of comforting her about the terry situation. like. have yall met mandy?? 😭 cause ian has that's his best friend and he knows if he tries to console her she'll just get cagey. he was not being selfish and raising money for her abortion was the best move bc for milkoviches actions speak louder than words
and that's exactly why she hugged him so lovingly bc he saw such an ugly part of her life and didn't shy away or treat her with kid gloves he immediately came up with a plan to alleviate some of her pain and she KNEW that
soemtimes I wish someone who isnt a romantic partner would have cared for Ian enough. like ofc mickey cares immensely and I don't wanna discredit the good he does for Ian. But there are so many things in Ian's life where he needed care and love and reassurance from someone he is not romantically involved with.
being groomed from a young age, and nobody cared enough to see what's going on with kash, and when lip did, he did nothing. when Fiona and Jimmy Steve found out Ian was sleeping with Ned, nobody cared enough about Ian to help him. Instead it was all about Jimmy Steve and his man baby feelings about his dad being queer.
when Ian was crying about the aftermath of s3ep6 and s3ep9, Frank was heading a gay rights movement purely for his own gain, while Ian's siblings feasted on a gift basket sent to their house. Nobody wondered where Ian was, so he was sobbing in his bed, alone.
when Ian ran away to the army, his entire family just accepted it, the fucking Milkoviches were more worried about Ian than his own family.
when in s6 Ian doesnt know what to do with himself, nobody cares enough to show him that his life isnt over bc of his diagnosis. nobody cares enough to tell Ian that he still has options, that he can survive.
when Ian is heartbroken, nobody cares enough about it to tell him anything but "good riddance".
when Ian has a crisis of faith and loses himself in religion and mania, nobody cares about him enough to talk to him until its to late. nobody sees him enough to know if he is taking his meds.
In the Gallagher household Ian doesn't exist. Fiona and Lip are bonding and supporting each other (no matter how angry and misguided sometimes) in their role as the eldest. Debbie and Carl are looking out for each other, and Fiona and Lip always have an eye on them bc they're younger. Liam gets raised by everyone. But Ian just kind of floats around in the void, and while they all may love him, they don't notice him.
Lip and Ian are close, but they aren't caring for each other properly.
As long as Ian contributes to the squirrel fund and doesnt make a fuss, they dont see him.
And once his mental state gets bad they all sit around wondering why they didnt catch it sooner. But they never look.
